Baba, am I so bad that I didn't even deserve a second chance?

[HelpMeSaiRam]

Baba,

You know everything that has happened and under what circumstances I acted the way I did. But still I want to confess.

Someone who loved me a lot waited for years and finally left me. I had sometimes taken him for granted and treated him badly. I hurt him a lot, but I didn't mean to. Situation was so bad that I had lost my sense of right and wrong.

No matter how much I regret and apologise, its of no use now. But at that time I was after someone else. Only much later I realised the truth that he was cheating me. But by the time I realised, this person who truly loved me had already left me.

I miss him terribly and realise how much he means to me. I know all that happened was your way of teaching me a lesson not to take people for granted but Baba, did the lesson have to be so hard? Am I such a sinner that you had to punish me so harshly?

Doesn't my repentance matter at all to you Baba? I am in such a pathetic state, I can't even ask you to bring him back to me because he is married to someone else now. I don't want to sin anymore by asking to bring him back.

Did you have to be so cruel SaiRam? Were you not the one who brought both the guys into my life? I understand it was all karmic that I had to go through that suffering and had lost the ability to recognise true love that was right in front of me.

But haven't I suffered enough yet? Did you have to take such a lovely person away from me and make him hate me?

Is there no relief to my pain Baba? Had I not come to visit you at Shirdi twice thinking you will take care of my problem and never let me be with the wrong kind of person? Why did I still have to suffer at some cheat's hands and lose a nice guy forever? Why didn't you take care of me Sai? Why didn't you help me see the right and wrong at appropriate time?

[saib]

The People who love (Truly Love) never hate anyone. What was not in your destiny, You did not get it. Only sai knows who gained what out of this. If that belongs to love of soul might return in next life. If wish of Sai. If want to repent can chant holy name of Sai from 1 Lac to 1 Million times, not as a punishment, but just to lessen the burden on the spirit. Accept the life as it is, Move ahead with firm faith on Sai. He will surely help you to get settled. Sometimes Gold has to go through rapid fire  to regain its shining, grace and glory. Pain also work same for some people. After years of sufferings and pains when one just analyze of his life then only he finds, He has been totally changed, a new personality, a new life, the complete new “I” . Sai says nothing in life is without reason nor irrelevant. Only Time justifies this statement for them, who surrender their lives completely in the holy feet of Sai.

There are millions of people who claims they love, but unfortunately they could not go beyond the level of worldly attraction and infatuation, and only a few appears as blessed ones to understand what real, true and divine love stands for. Even they don’t get their worldly love, Door of Bhakti  Marg gets opened for them and they gets the showers and showers of Thy Love. No desire remains in heart.

I don’t know, you will understand it or not, because somethings cannot be expressed in words, But I have seen similar cases as your case in my life, and also watched drastic positives changes in their lives, unbelievable. How Sai healed those pure souls in pain taking control of their lives in his own hand.

So Dear, Just Trust Sai. Have Patience. Read Sai Sactcharitra. Everything will get fine. If possible Feed the birds daily morning and water to plants and move ahead in life gradually regaining your strength, now pure!

May Sai Bless you and him with a blissful life!

om sri sai ram!

[HelpMeSaiRam]

The People who love (Truly Love) never hate anyone. What was not in your destiny, You did not get it. Only sai knows who gained what out of this. If that belongs to love of soul might return in next life. If wish of Sai. If want to repent can chant holy name of Sai from 1 Lac to 1 Million times, not as a punishment, but just to lessen the burden on the spirit. Accept the life as it is, Move ahead with firm faith on Sai. He will surely help you to get settled. Sometimes Gold has to go through rapid fire  to regain its shining, grace and glory. Pain also work same for some people. After years of sufferings and pains when one just analyze of his life then only he finds, He has been totally changed, a new personality, a new life, the complete new “I” . Sai says nothing in life is without reason nor irrelevant. Only Time justifies this statement for them, who surrender their lives completely in the holy feet of Sai.

There are millions of people who claims they love, but unfortunately they could not go beyond the level of worldly attraction and infatuation, and only a few appears as blessed ones to understand what real, true and divine love stands for. Even they don’t get their worldly love, Door of Bhakti  Marg gets opened for them and they gets the showers and showers of Thy Love. No desire remains in heart.

I don’t know, you will understand it or not, because somethings cannot be expressed in words, But I have seen similar cases as your case in my life, and also watched drastic positives changes in their lives, unbelievable. How Sai healed those pure souls in pain taking control of their lives in his own hand.

So Dear, Just Trust Sai. Have Patience. Read Sai Sactcharitra. Everything will get fine. If possible Feed the birds daily morning and water to plants and move ahead in life gradually regaining your strength, now pure!

May Sai Bless you and him with a blissful life!

om sri sai ram!

Saib ji, firstly thank you, I am definitely feeling better after reading your reply. But my only problem is how long do I keep trusting when I see no hope anywhere? But again I know, there's no other choice than trusting Sai.

But I am human afterall, I sometimes feel dejected that may be things will never be fine and Sai wants me to suffer through entire life.