SaiRam ramoo,
Firstly, If u think SUICIDE is the way to get mukti, you are wrong. You'll keep taking birth unless all your bad karmas are erased.
I too committed a sin , i can't say if i did it knowingly or unknowingly but never did I get that picture in mind that it could DESTROY my whole family !! I can't tell you my plight and it would have been MUCH MUCH worser if Sai baba woudn't have called me to himself by giving me signals. I consider myself so lucky that i turned to a theist because of him!!
I still 'm repaying for my bad karmas but i can't blame Sai for this. I've a very high level of respect for him and i know with his grace, my big problems too would be solved soon. I've developed high faith n patience towards him with his blessings!!
Indulge in good habits..follow his teachings..chant his name ceaselessly..let no trial erase ur shraddha n saburi..one day, YOU WILL SURELY EXPERIENCE MIRACLES!!
Sai Bless All!
SABKA MAALIK EK!
He's my best friend!! And, I know he loves me very much. He's guarding me n my family everytime.