Sai Ram
Babu, dear brother. It is good to know our faults, because this gives us a chance to work on them. It happens to all of us to have thoughts that are not exactly the kind of thoughts we'd love to have. In such cases I use to give myself little excercises and I found out over the years they really work, they do away with guilty feelings in a playful way and change my view. One such excercise was to try and find something beautiful in every person I'd come across. There's beauty in everyone, even in those who do in no way match common "standards". In the case of your friend for instance you could look for the thing he's really good at ... if you try to make that a game you play with yourself and do it with everyone you meet whenever you think of it, you will discover changes in you that will make you much happier with yourself and with life.
Give it a try - it's worth it.
And last but not least: I admire and greatly appreciate your openness and your courage to post your thoughts and how you feel about them. Many people have thoughts like the one you happened to have - few are ready to admit them and even fewer are willing to change them. You are on right track, dear brother, keep it up - and - as beloved Ramsh Bhai said - BABA SAI will help you transcend whatever you want to overcome ...
OM SAI RAM
Astrid
Restless was my heart till it found rest in THEE