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[snitu13]

Om Sai Nathaye Namah
Baba, my heart cries with pain. please help me baba. this is the most important point in my life and I need you baba. I love him with my heart and soul.  After such a long wait and tries I got a chance to come in same city as his. Please give him also a chance and let us be together.  Please bless him so that his confusions are clear and he also listens to his heart. Please give us this chance to be together. I promise that will not force my feelings on him because I know that is not right.

I have so many things to say to him, so many small desires, so much love that I haven't expressed. You know and my heart knows that I don't mean any hurt to anyone. I have love in my heart and truly want to be with him and his family. I wish to be a part of his life. Please, for love's sake, please give us this chance to be together.

We have spent some great time together. I thank you for that. I have felt that  he also cares for me. Please don't let him do anything hastily and as a compromise. Please help me keep my hope, faith and trust.

Please, please please please come Sai baba and let us be together. Please bless, for my wish to come true.

[snitu13]

Sorry if this long story is dificult to read. Sai Baba knows it all and writing all this makes me feel as if I am talking to him. Bless us all.

We know each other from 7 years and used to be together in this big city, bangalore for 4 years. We have spent good time together and used to support and care for each other. For some family reason I had to shift to different city (delhi). We both felt bad and I left positively thinking that we will soon be back together again and everything will turn out good. Either of us could shift so that we are together again. Both of us were in  so much pain because of the situation.

During my last 6 months there, we came more close. That time, he could not commit to me because he was going through some emotional problem (because of one of his close friend) and used to blame himself all the time. I used to support him and give him all the moral support, so that he feels positive again. I didn't want him to take any decision for commiting to me, just because I was supporting him. That would not have been right. He was also worried a lot from his family side (who stays in north india), who were always talking to him about getting married to girl of their choice and caste. His parents used to fight amongst themselves. He was very sad because of all this also.
At that time, he used to say, i will come there soon and will not let you wait. I wished for all that, however I also knew he was emotional at that time, I sincerely didn't want to force him into any relation because of that emotional situation. I just love him a lot. I supported him at that time and now also my heart always wishes for us to be together forever.

Even after I shifted from Bangalore to Delhi, we used to be constantly in touch and talk for hours. Each time I talked to him, I felt truly happy and just love him more and more. He also said that he misses me and I make him feel positive and good. We even planned and I came to Bangalore just to meet him for few days. His family's presurre was as it is. Because of that, at times, he tried ignoring me saying that he does not want to stop me from moving on. He said that his parents might not accept me because I am not his caste and also, they would fear that I would take him away from them. He would never return back to his hometown. He used to cry a lot and feel bad about us. I could understand that he was under lot of emotional presuure from everywhere and I decided that atleast I would not presurize him. I did support him but my heart always prayed for a miracle and somewhere I felt that we would be together for sure. It's just that the situation is such.

We still continuted talking on phone. For me, my heart was just happy to be close to him, to hear his voice and hear him smiling.
At times, even in such situations he used to be so lovable and we used to lightly remember all the good times we have spent together. We both remember each and every minute detail. I felt from heart, that he does love me. He had said that himself few times. Initially he even tried to search for a job in delhi. Later, his family pressure started building up.

At times he used to be kind of fed up with presurre from his family and not talk to me for days. he was alone in bangalore and I was alone in delhi. I used to fear separating from him. I also felt that, he tried to hide and ignore his feelings for me so that he could just do what his parents say. I know he loves them and there is nothing wrong in that. God knows, I don't want any harm, I truly want to be a part of his family. I would love and respect each of his relation because I love him. I am sure, if given a chance, I would win family's love and respect also. I know it depends on my respect and behavior towards them. I can prove that even if I am not their caste or city, I am a good person and would love them the same.

I knew that if I get a chance to close to him again, we might understand each other's importance in life and be together. After so many prayers and attempts I finally got a chance to be back in bangalore (after 1 year and 2 months in delhi). during one of our good calls, I told him that I am coming there. I could feel from his voice that he is happy.

He did not know when I was shifting. He was still disturbed and fed up of blaming himself and of presurre all the time. Few days before shifting, he called and we had a good talk and again talked about our good times together. Each such moment, I could feel that he does love me and misses me, but the situation and emotional pressure around him are forcing him to ignore his feelings for me.

Just when I was preparing to shift back, he sent me an sms saying that, he has said yes to some girl whom both his parents liked. he has not even met, seen or spoke to her. I know, it's clear that he has hastily decided this in emotional presurre and is doing a compromise.

I am so shattered. I don't know what to do. I reached bangalore 2 days back and he doesn't even know. Why did God send me here, if he is not close to me? If I have got this chance after long wait, can't even he has a chance? I know, I am sure that if we have this chance, we would be together. Why is he not listening to his heart? God knows, I would love his parents also and be part of his family, just like one of them.

Please atleast give us a chance. The reason and hope based on which I had decided to come here is him. Please let us have this chance. I would never ever force him. I could have done that much earlier, but I never wanted that. Love cannot be forced. Please do this miracle, the most important miracle in my life. PLease please bless us sai baba. My heart cries and it hurts so much. I dont want to imagine him with someone else. Also, now I am back in same city, it makes me rememeber our good time even more. Everywhere I go, he never leaves my thoughts. It is unbearable at times. please help me baba. please please please come baba. Please give me this chance. please set him free of the emotional pressure and the compromised relation. there is still time. please come and help us. Bless us to have hope, faith and strenght to listen and follow our hearts. There is nothing which is hidden from you baba.  You know everything. Writing my heart out itself makes me feel as if I am talking to you. After more that one year, I got this chance to be close to him again, please also give us this chance to be together again. Please come and bless us. Please I feel time is short, please please come soon sai baba. Please let me have this trust on love and hope in all my life.
|| Om Sai Nathaye Namah ||

[Akash100]

Hello Snitu,

You are very right and true and nothing ll go wrong.. U hav loved ur boy friend truly. U ll get him.

U had written very long but I read all and I came to know everything. Snitu, take step talk to him. I’m sure u ll get him that person has become very nervous and not able to take decision.

As u hav written, I think ur boy friend is from north India and u r south Indian. But nothing like that u don’t think like he is from north India and u r south India so his parents would not be ready.
Snitu plz trust me the same has happened to me also. I’m ready to help u  in any cases. I can understand the pain. I’ve been come across such situation. I want u both to get together. I’m always ready to help u..

Even I’m from north India. If that person is in Bangalore I’m ready to talk to him also. I’m sure Snitu u’ll get him.. don’t late, be quick in taking steps as u hav said he has said yes to some other girl..

This time u need to be very strong. Never give up..
Remember BABA. Pray.. BABA ll fulfill all ur dreams..

Let me know if u want any help from my side. I’m always ready to help U..Plz let me know..

[snitu13]

Hello Akash,
Thanks for your kind and inspiring reply.
I am also from north india. To me where the person belongs does not matter. Both of us are from middle class families. His family lives in a very small town and they feel that he should get married to girl from near that town and in their caste.

I also, feel like talking to him, however, as I mentioned, he tries not to talk to me. He says, it makes him remember all the good time we had spent together and it makes him feel happy and sad. He also told me that, when he talks to me, there is nostalgic kind of feeling and it takes a lot of time for him to get out of that and face reality. He seems to have completely given up. He says he is trying to prepare himself mentally for the current reality.

It is clear that he also feels about me but is trying hard to ignore and not-remember me. I don't understand what should I do.

I just see oe way as of now, just to pray to God and gives us both this chance. Please baba, let him out of this situation and bless us to be together. Let us both have strength to follow our hearts.
|| Om Sai Nathaye Namah ||

Nitu

[Akash100]

Nitu what u want??? u both are very right and thinking very practical..i do agree watever u said.. but it is very tough to forget whom we hav loved..

If u can live without him then forget ur past and live in present and think about future and if u want that guy then for that u need to take steps..I can understand ur feelings and pain.
Log bolte hai me use bhul jaonga but its very tough to forget but nothing is impossible.

Ur lover has talked about u in his family??

Finally I would like to tell u if u want ur lover then take steps, be quick bcoz u have very less with u. and if u want to forget him then forget him and start new life be in present and think about future..

Let me know I’m always ready to help u people.. U both are very right and very practical..

Pray Baba.baba will definetly help u.

Om Sai Ram

[gunj]

Dear Snitu jji

I have read ur full story ,its ok dat u have written so long bt it was imp otherwise we wud have nt understand wot is the problem thr.
My suggestion wud be u sud try to meet him kaise bhi kar ke milo usse,baat karo par milne k baad kyuki wo phone pe toh baat nahi karega aapse toh milke shayad wo apke samane sach bolde uske dil ka ,kyuki wo apko dekhega toh apne apko rok nahi payega sach bolne se ,apne ansu,samjh sakti hu main apki halat kyuki meri bhi same situation hai,mera frd bhi diff caste ka hai meri family toh ready hai par uski family nahi,aap ko us ladke se baat karni hogi.uske dil mein kya hai wo janiye uske ghar walo se baat karne ki koshihs kare agar ap[ki family ready hai is relation k lia toh aapni family mein se kisiko ko boliye uski family se baat karne se,agar wo ladka kisi se compromise krke shaadi karega toh wo 3 life kharab karega ek khudki,2sri apki aur us ladki ki bhi wo ladki kya kasoor hai wo toh bure sapne sajajke ayegi par apka boyfrd use wo pyar nahi de payega jiski wo haqdaar hai,kyuki wo apse pyar karta hai,apko kuch karna hoga teen jindgi barbaad hone se bachana hoga,apko sai pe vishwas rakhna sai apko raaha dikhayege .Sai ki ek question answer book hai ap uski maddat le apne answer pane k liye.

om sai ram
sai bhala kare sabka

[snitu13]

Akash and Gunj,
Thaks for your replies..
I do love him a lot. He is my lifeline, my world. I know, I can never forget him. The thought of not being close to him, scares me.
I am scared to contact him too. When I ask him to meet, what if does not talk to me or meet me? I am scared that it would hurt me more. I don't want to lose hope. I do try to contact him via email and sms, but he doesn't reply well.

When he told me about all this, I tried talking to him and explaining that he should not force himself into a relation. He said, his parents have given him an ultimatum that, if he loves them or cares for them, then just say yes to this girl. They said, he has not done anything for them. Both his parents and even younger sister said all things to him. They were not even talking to him a lot before this.

Shall I just go to his house directly? My family will not have any problem with us. He hasn't told about me in his family, but they know I am his friend. He had shown a photograph of me sometime back. I haven't met or spoke to them. I don't even know their contact details. Their number I had is disconnected now. Please help.

[gunj]

u jst try to meet this boy any how.
parents ko koi samajhane wala chaiye unhe koi bataye agar ye ladke ki khusi ap mein hai toh wo kyu objection kar rahe hai,apko jald kuch karna hoga,mere saath bhi same situation par abhi tak uske ghar par shaadi ki baat nahi ayi hai mere frnd to keh dia hai wo puri koshish karega apni family ko manane ki agar fir bhi nahi mani toh hum alag hojayege is khayal se toh meri ruh bhi kaap uth thi hai par abhi ye situation ayi  nahi hai main uski family ko janati hu hum milke mana lenge,apko apne frnd ko samjhana hoga aap dono ko uski family ko manana hoga ,warna 3 life royegi

[rr_sai_bhakt]

Dear nitu ji,

I think the best thing for you to do is this - if its possible, please talk to your parents about this. Take the person you love also into confidence before you talk to your parents. Then your parents and this boy can speak to each other first ... and your parents can be convinced of this relation...

Then your parents can speak to the parents of the boy ... and try to convince them ... and hopefully your boy will also accept in front of his parents that it is you whom he prefers.

Usually when parents are involved things are bit easier to solve than when the boy and girl only are involved (in the Indian context atleast)...


And hopefully your parents will be able to convince his parents ...

I personally feel this is the best bet you have ... though not necessarily guaranteed that everything will take place as planned...

Because i know that in case things dont turn out as planned then your parents will also feel very disappointed ... so you may have to think about this ...

Nitu ji, just pray to Sai .... I am sure Sai will bless you and whats best for you will definitely happen ...

We are all here praying for you ...

Om Shri Sai Samarth ....

[Akash100]

i'm very much agree with rr_sai_bhakt ji.

Nitu dont commit mistke by going directly to his home.. first u try talking to ur lover..he is under pressure he needs ur care and love and not able to take decision and he does not want to go against his family.. That’s good nitu u don’t worry.. just follw wat is right. Don’t commit any mistake otherwise u hav to pay a lot for this..

His parents ll be agree. If u both are working then I don’t think his family ll go against u both..
Plz u both have patience and take steps very wisely. Tell ur lover to take some steps. Tell him to tell about u in his family.I am sure everything go fine..Tell him to take some bold decision. Time has come..

If ur lover afraid of telling about u in his family then thru his friend try to send about ur relation to his mom and dad. Come on yaar they ll be ready..

Have a firm faith in Baba. Miracle happens when people take steps. U take single step, Baba ll take 100 steps.. be quick..

I’m always there to help u people..

Om Sai Ram

[snitu13]

Hello Akash, rr_sai_bhakt and gunj,
Thanks you all for your help. After reading these replies, one thing I knew was that I should atleast tell him that I was in Bangalore and ask him to meet.

Yesterday, I asked him to meet me casually and he agreed easily. It was like, he was also eager and excited to meet me and not able to control himself. We met and he kissed me on forehead and hugged me. We were seeing each other after almost 8 months. Initially, most of the time we did not want to speak about the current situation and just wanted to live that moment.

As appeared to me, he was in so much presurre and all the time trying to pretend that he is happy and strong.
He said various things like - he was focussed on saying again and again that he is happy, since his family was not talking to him and fighting amongst themselves earlier about his marriage, now everyone is happy and excited. The same family now calls him like 10 times a day. I could see that he is happy from his family's part. He said he might get engaged in 10 days or so..

I asked him if he truly happy with all what is happening or is just prentending? He was quiet and said, he does not know about whether he will be happy with this marriage but he is happy by seeing family happy excited and united after long time. I also couldn't stop myself from saying - wishing to see family and parents happy is good and there is nothing wrong he is doing in this. They are happy because of all the initial excitement, but, what about the time when all this excitement would be over? parents would be happy seeing him happy in future. he was again quiet and changed the topic.

He told that, after he had said yes, his father once in drunk state, called him and asked that he would not back out of this decision else he would die.. Since he belongs to small town, whole town knows about this proposal (like family's prestige is on stake).. He also said, may be he is happy now, but I was there with him when he was feeling low and I supported him a lot. He said he has done bad to me..
He also told me about the gift he had bought for me about 2 months back (before this situation) and wants to give to me.. When he sees a new song, he thinks that I would like it.. He visits orkut to see if I had posted any update or picture..

I just tried to find out whether he is truly happy with all this, that was one of my main intention of seeing him.  I felt he was pretending to be happy and had closed himself internally, means, woh apna mann maar raha hai.. I told him that I feel that he has taken this decision hastily, he was again quiet. It was like, he didn't want to listen or talk about this. He didn't want to think that he is not happy with this. It was like, he was aware that if he thinks about this decision, he would know that he is probably not happy with all this, but what after that? what would he do after that? so he does not even want to think about it and is pretending to be ready to take this big step. One way, he is strong in this, but other way, isn't this weak also?

No blaming him, but do you also think that he is clearly stuck in all this? Family presurre, family happy after long time, family's prestige and what not.. Is this right for all in future? Apna mann maar ke itna bada decision, is this right? who will be happy in future with all this? Please tell me, what should I do now..

I still find myself wishing and praying to sai baba to give him enough strength and will to listen and follow his heart. Please help him get out of this situation. Please Sai baba give us this chance to be together. Please help and bless us. Everytime I am with him, I feel truly happy and I can feel that he is also happy. If we are together, we can win everyone's respect. He is my life and I wish to live my life fully and not as a compromise and just passing time.. I will love everyone who matters to him and I am sure that I will win their hearts one day. Please SAI baba, please help me.
~ Nitu

|| Om Sai Nathaye Namah ||

[Akash100]

Nitu if u want him, take step.. all the time u r listening him..u r doing mistake. I’m sure u’ll not live without him. it’ll take very much time to forget everything and its not easy..

U both are very right person. very well mannered.. Good to know u both are not taking any bad decision.. u r the only right person for him..May I know where he is from?

Nitu if possible u talk to ur parents about these all.i think ur parents ll be ready for this. Unko samjane ka try karo.Prove karo apne aapko unke samne..

Can u talk these all to ur parents?

Pray Baba. He’ll help u but even u need to take steps Nitu.. Baba ll only help u when u r taking steps, Nitu Do ur best then Baba ll do the rest..

And ur lover is happy whatever his family is telling even he should think usko pure life usake sath rahna hai. Usase bolo vo apne mammi papa ko samjaye yaar. Unke mammi papa maan jayenge, unke pass bi dil hai..

Have a firm faith in Baba..

Let me know Nitu, what u have decided.??
 
Jai Sa Ram

[snitu13]

Akash,
My parents will not have any problem. They always say they will agree for any person I choose. I havn't told anything about this to my parents, because firstly he should be also ready. Also, what would I say to them? That, I love someone and he is getting engaged and he has agreed? He has to be with me, right?

Just once, if he says, he also wants to be with me and wants to get out of this situation, I will do anything. 
He is from Himachal and i am from Punjab. Like him, I am also from middle class hindu family.

He is like, he himself is ignoring his feelings and is just always trying to explain himself that, whatever he is doing or has chosen to do, is right. As I said, he does not even want to rethink his decision. I could clearly feel, that he is hard on himself and now trying to convince himself that he is doing right. How can I force him to rethink his decision or also try to make him see that can he see himself happy in future? When I ask him this, he would just say plainly- yes he would be happy. Right now, he simply does not want to think about this, because may be he is scared of the results.

In such situation, if I force him to rethink, he might just totally ignore me and would think that I am trying to pull him out. Don't u think? As a guy, what would you think if you were in his place?
Please Sai baba, show us the right way..

|| Om Sai Nathaye Namah ||

[Akash100]

OMG, really very tough situation.yes u r right even he should be ready for.. but I know even he loves u very much..but situation hi kuch aisa hai..only his family is against right??

Tell me onething u both r in bangalore?? U both are working rite?
Nitu speak to ur father.tell all these situation.i’m sure  ur father ll help u out.if u want him then anyhow you hav to talk to his family member..
Nitu nothing has gone wrong ok.. still there is time but u hav to take steps..and ur lover is not trying to convince his family. Ek bar usase bolo tumhare bare me baat karne ke liye apne family me.use pyar se samjao. Usase bolo agar tumne mujse pyar kiya hai to bas mere liye etna karo.tum to apne bare me etni baadi decision le rahe ho. Kabi socha hai mera kya hoga jab tum kisi aur ke ho jaoge to..

Tel him like I’m not forcing u to talk but atleast think abt me also..atleast talk in ur family about our relation. Tell him u try to convince him aur agar jarurat pada to mere father bi jayenge unhe manane ki liye..

Nitu wat u hav decided?

BABA enki madad kariye..Baba ye dono sahi hai. Enka sath dijiye. Baba aap kuch rasta dikhaeye..

Om Sai Ram

[gunj]

Dear Nituji

U r rite agar wo ladka nahi manega toh aap kaise apni family se baat kar sakti hai,family toh yehi bolegi ki wo ladka hi ready nahi hai toh hum kya kare uske parents se baat karke.
kal aap usse mili toh apne try nahi kia ki usse baat kare is matter par,aapko ab firm hoke baat karni hogi,aap use bolo ki tumhare dil mein kya hai ab sach sach batado,aur kuch chupao mat ,jab tak wo apne dil ki baat nahi bolega kuch nahi kar payegi aap.use samjhane ki koshish kare ki kya wo ye chahega ki kisi se shaadi kareke us ladki ko bhi dukhi rakhe,ap bhi dukhi ho aur khud bhi,jaissa ki apne kaha ki ye excitment jab tak hai uski family ki jab tak uski shaadi nahi ho jati hai,par unse pucho kya bharosa ki nae ladki ayegi aur unki family ko khush rakhegi kam se kam aap itna vishwas toh de sakti hai ki aap unki family ko khush rakhegi.kya unki family khush rahegi agar wo ladki ache behaviour ki nahi nikali.use samjho ki kya pyar ko sacrifie karke wo khush rahega aur kya woh us ladki ko khushi aur pyar de payega jispe uski patni hone k nate uska haq hoga agra uska ans na mile toh aapko use samjhana hoga ki ap dono aur apke parents milke uski family ko samajha sakte hai.agar usne ans yes dia puri sachai se toh app ko samjh k piche hatna hoga,yehi kadwa sach hai
Sai pe vishwas rakho sai sab thik karege,kuch phase aise aate hai life mein jaha humein lagta hai ki hum haar chuke hai sab bhikar gaya sab kho dia par aisa nahi hota sai ne iske piche kuch acha sochke rakha hota hai humare lia.

mera 1st pyar tha jiske lia maine apna sab kuch chodne k lia ready thi use sabse jyada pya kia,trust kia.uske bina jina soch bhi nahi pati thi,par usne aisa bura kia mere saath pata nahi kyu use bhi jaan buch kar mujhe  majbur kar dia use chodne k lia maine khud use chod dia tha ,uske baad usne mgs kia tha ki kisi majburi mein aake usne ye sab kia mere saath.

main use bhul chuki thi aur pyar se nafart si hogai thi,tab us tim meri life me mere adi ne antry ki,usne mere past ko janate hue mujhe apnaya mujhe khub pyar dia aur itna pyar deta araha hai,

humein aksar lagta hai ki agar humara pehla pyar adhura rehgaya toh humein fir kisi se pyar nahi karpayege par aisa nahi hota.ye mera personal experience hai.
sai sabka bhala kare.
sai k upar chod do ab aap sab kuch aap apni puri koshish karna agar sai chahte hai aap saath ho toh fir koi nahi rok payega .

om sai ram