SMALL STORIES

[pramanisa]

Rama Climbs Out of Trouble

Tenali Rama once incurred the displeasure of the king, and the monarch ordered him to quit his dominions.
Some days later as the king was riding through a forest, he saw a man, who on seeing the king, promptly climbed up a tree.
The king stopped under the tree and looking up, saw that it was Tenali Rama.
"You are still here!" he thundered. "Did l not tell you to leave my kingdom?"
"You did, Your Majesty," said
Rama. "Accordingly, l travelled all over the world, but wherever I went l learnt that l was still in your dominions. Now the only thing left for me to do is to go to Heaven, and as you can see l have already made a start in that direction."
The king laughed and forgave the jester.

[pramanisa]

The Irreverent Devotee

Tenali Rama prayed fervently to Goddess Kali and one day the goddess sporting a thousand faces appeared before him. Rama was awed and was about to prostrate himself when a silly thought entered his head. He looked at the goddess again and burst out laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" asked the goddess.
"Mother," replied Rama. "I have only one nose yet when I have a cold I suffer so much. I was wondering what would happen in case you caught a cold."
The goddess, pleased with his audacity and sense of humour, held out two crucibles of nectar to him.
"One is the nectar of wealth, the other is the nectar of wisdom," explained the goddess. "Dip your finger in the crucible of your choice."
Rama immediately dipped his fingers in both crucibles. The goddess hastily blessed him and disappeared.

[pramanisa]

The Scholarly Coachman

Mulla Nasruddin once took up a job as a coachman and one day had to drive his employer to a disreputable part of the town.
"Keep your eyes open," his employer advised him as he alighted from the coach at his destination. "This place is infested with thieves."
Some time later the man thought of checking on his new employee.
"Is everything all right? What are you doing now?" he shouted from a window of the house he had gone into.
"I'm sitting here wondering what happens to a man's lap when he gets up," the Mulla shouted back.
A little later the employer again shouted from the window"
"What are you doing now?!"
"I'm wondering what happens to a fist when the fingers are unclenched," shouted Nasruddin.
His employer was impressed.
"My coachman is no ordinary fellow," he boasted to his hosts. "He is a philosopher!"
Half an hour later he again poked his head out of the window and shouted!
"What are you doing now?"
"I am wondering who stole the horses," replied the Mulla.

[pramanisa]

Sweet Quarrels

One day Mulla Nasruddin quarrelled with his wife. He shouted at her till she could not bear it and fled to her neighbour's house.
The Mulla followed her there. The neighbours managed to placate the angry husband and served the couple tea and sweetmeats.

When they returned to their house some time later, they began quarrelling again. When Nasruddin began shouting at her, his wife again opened the door to run out.
"This time, go to the baker's house," he advised. "He makes delicious cakes."

[pramanisa]

Super Salesman

Nasruddin Hodja was trying to sell his house, but without success.
One day he prised out a brick from the wall of his house.
"Why did you do that?" asked his wife, appalled.
"Oh, foolish woman, what do you know?" said Nasruddin. "To sell anything, you have to show a sample. I propose to show this brick as a sample of our house."

[pramanisa]

Hodja in the Dust

Nasruddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart. Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal's head between the horns, but never dared try it. One day the animal came and sat down very near him. Hodja threw caution to the winds and seizing the horns swung himself into the space between them.
"Now I feel like a king on his throne!" he said exultantly to his wife. The buffalo, startled by the sudden invasion of its privacy, got indignantly to its feet and jerked its head violently forward. Hodja went sailing into the air and fell head foremost into a ditch.
"It doesn't matter," he said to his wife who came running to help him. "It's not the first time a king has lost his throne."

[pramanisa]

Hodja Postpones Paying

One evening, Nasruddin Hodja's wife saw her husband walking up and down the verandah in great agitation.
"What's the matter?" she asked him.
"I borrowed a hundred dinars from our neighbour last month and I promised to return the money on the last day of this month," explained Hodja. "Tomorrow is the last day and I don't have the money. I don't know what to do."
"What is there to do!" said his wife. "Go and tell him you can't pay!"
Hodja took his wife's advice. When he returned from his neighbour's house he looked relaxed and happy.
"How did he take it?" asked his wife.
"Ah, well," said Hodja. "Now he is walking up and down his verandah.

[pramanisa]

The Mulla Pleads Poverty

MULLA Nasruddin was once brought before a judge by a man to whom he owed some money.
The creditor said to the judge: "This man owes me 500 dinars which are long overdue. I request your excellency to order him to pay me immediately, without further delay."
"I do owe him money," said the Mulla, "and I intend to pay him. I'll sell my cow and horse if necessary, but it'll take time."
"He is lying," said the other man. "He doesn't have a cow or horse or anything of value for that matter. I am told he doesn't even have food in his house!"
"When he knows I am so poor, O Judge," said the Mulla, "ask him how he expects me to pay him immediately."
The judge dismissed the case.

[pramanisa]

The Mulla in a Muddle

The Sultan’s elephant had wandered into Mulla Nasruddin Hodja’s village and was causing havoc in the fields.
The villagers finally decided to go in a delegation to the Sultan and request him to take the elephant away. As Mulla Nasruddin was known to the ruler, they asked him to lead the delegation.
When they arrived at the palace, the villagers were awed by the splendour of the surroundings and their courage deserted them. One by one they began to drop out of the group and slip away, so that when Hodja was finally in the Sultan’s presence he found to his dismay that he was alone.
"Well, what do you want, Nasruddin!" snapped the Sultan, who was in a particularly bad mood that day.
"Y-your elephant is in our v-village, your Excellency," stuttered the Mulla.
"So?" growled the Sultan.
"So…so," said the Mulla, completely unnerved by the situation, "we, I mean I, have come to tell you that it is terribly lonely… please send it a companion."

[pramanisa]

Fired by Fear

Nasruddin Hodja was trying to raise a fire by blowing at the glowing embers of coal in the fireplace. All he succeeded in doing was to produce a thick cloud of smoke that stung his eyes. He put on his wife's cap to prevent the smoke from getting into his eyes and started blowing again.
This time flames leaped up from the coal.
"Ahha!" said Hodja. "So you too are afraid of my wife."

[pramanisa]

Milk for the Mullah

One evening, a man carrying a can of milk stopped Mulla Nasruddin Hodja in the street and said he had a problem and wanted his advice.
"What's your problem?" asked Hodja.
"My problem is that though I never drink wine I feel intoxicated when I get up in the morning," explained the man.
"What do you drink last thing at night?" asked Hodja, eyeing the milkcan in his hand.
"Milk."
"Just as I thought," said Hodja. "That is the cause of your problem."
"Milk causes intoxication?" asked the man, astonished.
"It is like this," explained the Mulla. "You drink the milk and go to sleep. You toss around in your sleep. The milk gets churned. It turns into butter. Butter churned, turns into cheese. Cheese turns to fat. Fat into sugar. Sugar into alcohol. So you wake up with alcohol in your stomach. That is why you feel intoxicated in the morning."
"So what do I do?" asked the man, bewildered.
"Simple. Don't drink the milk," said Hodja. "Here, give it to me."
And taking the milkcan from the man, the Mulla walked away, leaving the man gaping .

[pramanisa]

The Mind-Reader

Once at a crossroad, Mulla Nasruddin Hodja saw a portly nobleman riding towards him.
"I say, Mulla," said the man. "Which is the way to the palace?"
"How did you know I was a Mulla?" asked Hodja. The nobleman had a habit of addressing every scholarly-looking man as "Mulla," which was a title given to learned men and meant "master" but he didn’t want to tell Hodja that.
"How did I know?" he bragged. "Well, I’m a mind-reader, that’s how."
"Pleased to meet you," said Hodja. "As to your question, read my mind and proceed."

[pramanisa]

Speedy Ox

A horse race was about to be held and the contestants were being lined up.

Mulla Nasruddin Hodja came with an ox and asked that it be included in the race.

"Have you gone mad?" said the organisers. "What chance does an ox have against horses?"

"You talk that way because you do not know anything about my ox," said Hodja. "When it was a mere calf it could run almost as fast as a pony. Now that it is older it should be able to run even faster."

[pramanisa]

Hodja's Rich Dream

Hodja had a dream.
A man knocked at his door and asked if he could spend the night in his house.
He said he would pay 10 gold coins for the privilege.
Hodja agreed and showed him to his room.
The next morning, the man thanked Hodja and began taking out gold coins from his purse.
He took out nine and stopped.
"You promised to give me ten!" shouted Hodja and awoke.
He looked around for the man but there was no one there.
He quickly shut his eyes again.
"All right all right," he said. "Give me nine!"

[pramanisa]

The Donkey's Relatives

Hodja was on his way to the market with a basketful of vegetables which he had loaded on his donkey. Halfway the donkey suddenly stopped. Hodja tried to coax it to move forward again but the animal would not budge. In anger and desperation Hodja began to belabour it with a stick.
People began to gather around them.
"Why are you beating the poor creature?" asked one man.
"Stop beating it at once!" ordered a second man.
"What a cruel man you are!" said a third.
Hodja gave his donkey an admiring look.
"If I had known you had so many relatives to defend you, I would never have hit you," he said. "I can see you come from a large and loud-mouthed family." The men who had commented, strode away indignantly and the crowd dispersed leaving Hodja to deal with his donkey as he thought fit.