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Author Topic: थोड़ा हटकर - नन्हे नन्हे चुटकुले  (Read 24429 times)

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Offline OmSaiRamNowOn

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Jai Sai RAm. Hare Krsna !

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to china.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read “$10,000 per call”.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in china and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

“O. K., thank you,” said the American.

He then traveled to Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Russia, Germany and France.

In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same “$10,000 per call” sign under it.

The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to see if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in India, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read “One Rupee per call.”

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. “Father, I’ve traveled all over World and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?”

The priest smiled and answered, “You’re in India now, son - it’s a local call”.

KEEP SMILING
Om Sai Ram !

-Anju

"Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear."

Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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JAI SAI RAM!!!

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
   
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
   
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
   
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug."
   
Do you want a room with or without a view :P :D ;) 8)?

OM SAI RAM!!!

अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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JAI SAI RAM!!!

Father's Ashes!! :P

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks. As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.

He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in.

He says, "What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."

He turns beat red in horror and goes, "Geez, oh..I..."

She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray. :D"

OM SAI RAM!!!
अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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जय सांई राम।।।

मौन-उपचार
 
एक दंपति के बीच पिछले कुछ दिनों से खटपट चल रही थी. दोनो को एक दुसरे से बात न करना ही सबसे कारगर उपाय लगा. तो फ़ैसला हुआ कि जो पहले बोलेगा वही हारा हुआ माना जायेगा.
 
रात को सोने के पहले पति को अचानक याद आया कि अगले ही दिन उन्हे अपने काम के सिलसिले से बाहर जाना है और सुबह सुबह ६ बजे की फ़्लाईट पकड़नी है.
 
सो, पहले बोलने (और हारने) से बचने के लिये पति महाशय ने एक कागज के पुरज़े पर लिखा - "मुझे सुबह ५ बजे उठा देना" और कागज बगल में सोई पत्नी के सिरहाने रख दिया.
 
सुबह पति की नींद खुली, देखा घड़ी में ९ बज रहे थे। जाहिर है, वो अपनी फ़्लाईट "मिस" कर चुका था। पत्नी पास में नहीं थी, अलबत्ता उसने अपने सिरहाने एक पर्ची देखी, जिसपर पत्नी ने लिख रखा था - "सुबह के ५ बज रहे हैं, उठ जाओ!"
                     
अपना सांई प्यारा सांई सबसे न्यारा अपना सांई

ॐ सांई राम।।।
अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

Offline tana

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    • Sai Baba
Om Sai Ram....

KEEP SMILING ALWAYSSSSSS~~~~~~~~

NEVER BE AFRAID TO SAY  WHAT YOU FEEL~~~~~

Jai Sai Ram...
"लोका समस्ता सुखिनो भवन्तुः
ॐ शन्तिः शन्तिः शन्तिः"

" Loka Samasta Sukino Bhavantu
Aum ShantiH ShantiH ShantiH"~~~

May all the worlds be happy. May all the beings be happy.
May none suffer from grief or sorrow. May peace be to all~~~

Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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    • Sai Baba
"Child Play"        
 
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."                 
 
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.   
 
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" 
   
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.   
 
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"     
 
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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    • Sai Baba
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'

The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.'

God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, 'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best."
अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

Offline tana

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    • Sai Baba
Om Sai Ram....

 
An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why??????????
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Because the bananas are made of plastic.  :D :) :D
 
Next.Q -The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why???????????
 
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Because the elephant is made of plastic. :) :D :)
 
Hahhaa.never give up.one more..  :D ;) :D ;)
 
 
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
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Why ????????????
 
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Because the bananas are in the TV.  ;) :D ;) :)
 
Ooops!!! Cool down.  :D :D
 
 
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it
cannot eat it. Why???????????????
 
 
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Because they are on different channels.  :D ;) :D
 
 :D :D :D
 
 
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why????????????
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Cmon think ..
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Because the TV is off. ;) :D :) ;) :D
 
Jai Sai Ram...
 
"लोका समस्ता सुखिनो भवन्तुः
ॐ शन्तिः शन्तिः शन्तिः"

" Loka Samasta Sukino Bhavantu
Aum ShantiH ShantiH ShantiH"~~~

May all the worlds be happy. May all the beings be happy.
May none suffer from grief or sorrow. May peace be to all~~~

Offline Kavitaparna

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OM SRI SAI RAM

Anu ji, Sai Ram

Whether the elephant had all the 5 bananas or not, we have enjoyed

well all the 5 jokes in your above post.

This is a 5 in one joke.

Baba bless Us all

Jai Sai Ram
OM SAI NAMO NAMAHA SRI SAI NAMO NAMAHA
JAI JAI SAI NAMO NAMAHA SADGURU SAI NAMO NAMAHA



kavita

Offline tana

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    • Sai Baba
Om Sai Ram...


God is in joking mood
 
 
A man was praying to god.


He said, "God ?"


God responded, "Yes?"


And the Guy said, " Can I ask a question?"




"Go right ahead", God said.


"God, what is a million years to you?"


God said, "A million years to me is only a second."


The man wondered.


Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"


God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."


So the man said, "God can I have a penny ?"


And God cheerfully said,


"Sure!....... just a second ."

Jai Sai Ram...
"लोका समस्ता सुखिनो भवन्तुः
ॐ शन्तिः शन्तिः शन्तिः"

" Loka Samasta Sukino Bhavantu
Aum ShantiH ShantiH ShantiH"~~~

May all the worlds be happy. May all the beings be happy.
May none suffer from grief or sorrow. May peace be to all~~~

Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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  • Blessings 60
    • Sai Baba
JAI SAI RAM!!!

Laloo the Detective
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,

"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

OM SAI RAM!!!
अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

Offline tana

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    • Sai Baba
Om Sai Ram....

# Sign on a railway station at Patna:
 Aana free, jaana free,
 pakde gaye to khana free.
 
# Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
 Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
 She may be your grandmother!
 
 
# Seen on a bulletin board:
 Success is relative
 More the success, more the relatives.
 
 
# Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
 We need your heads to run our business.
 
 
# A traffic slogan:
 Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be.....
 
 
 
#THE BEST ONE:
 Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
 It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."



Jai Sai Ram...
"लोका समस्ता सुखिनो भवन्तुः
ॐ शन्तिः शन्तिः शन्तिः"

" Loka Samasta Sukino Bhavantu
Aum ShantiH ShantiH ShantiH"~~~

May all the worlds be happy. May all the beings be happy.
May none suffer from grief or sorrow. May peace be to all~~~

Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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    • Sai Baba
JAI SAI RAM!!!

Indian Scientists

After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: 'US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000
years earlier than the Russians.

'One week later, the Indian newspapers reported the following: 'After digging as deep as 500 metres, Indian scientists have found absolutely nothing.

They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology.

OM SAI RAM!!!
अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

Offline tana

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  • ~सांई~~ੴ~~सांई~
    • Sai Baba
Om Sai Ram....

NASA was getting ready to launch a very important
space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine.

           
However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.

           
Finally, there was Sardar Banta Singh who offered to help. They NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything.

           
"Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the
Indian scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway.

         
"Bring it back to vertical position" the Banta said.
The engineers did.

           
"Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the
rocket took off and flew into outer space!
 
Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew
what to do. He replied - "It is very simple. This is what we always do with our Bajaj scooters in India".

Jai Sai Ram...
"लोका समस्ता सुखिनो भवन्तुः
ॐ शन्तिः शन्तिः शन्तिः"

" Loka Samasta Sukino Bhavantu
Aum ShantiH ShantiH ShantiH"~~~

May all the worlds be happy. May all the beings be happy.
May none suffer from grief or sorrow. May peace be to all~~~

Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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  • Blessings 60
    • Sai Baba
JAI SAI RAM!!!

Gham ko karo delete,
 
Khushi ko karo save,
 
Rishton ko karo recharge,
 
Dosti ko karo download,
 
Dushmani ko karo erase,
 
Sach ko karo broadcast,
 
Jhooth ko karo switch off,
 
Tension ko karo not reachable,
 
Pyar ki karo incoming on,
 
Nafrat ki karo outgoing off,
 
Language ko karo control,
 
Hassi ka karo outbox full,
 
Aansu ka karo inbox khaali,
 
Ghusse ko karo hold,
 
Muskan ko karo sent,
 
Help ko karo ok,
 
Self ko karo autolock,
 
Dil ko karo vibrate,
 
Phir dekho life ki ringtone kitni TELE...POLYPHONIC....BABAPHONHIC...ho jayegi.

OM SAI RAM!!!
अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

 


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