थोड़ा हटकर - नन्हे नन्हे चुटकुले

[tana]

Om Sai Ram...


JUST FOR LAUGH~~~~


Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable.
Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.

 


How did Santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.


 

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.

 

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.

Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

 

Jai Sai Ram...

[Ramesh Ramnani]

JAI SAI RAM!!!

A man was in his front garden mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back into the house.
 
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
 
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
 
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
 
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
 
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

OM SAI RAM!!!

[tana]

Om Sai Ram...

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

 

 An Ant saw strawberry juice & shouted: "Aaaah at last I visited the red sea!!!

 

One American came first time to India, & asked what does "minimum" means in Hindi??? A man replied: "kam se kam". So the next day during a conversation with an Indian, the American man wanted to say “We have the maximum cold”, so he said "we have go se go cold in America" (opposite of come se come)

 

Two mad people were fighting on motorcycle, why?
They were arguing about 'who will sit near the window'!!!

 

A man hit his brand new car in to the wall, why?
He wanted to test whether the airbags are working!!!

 

Jai Sai Ram...

[tana]

Om Sai Ram...

Boss: Where were you born?
 sardar : Punjab ..
 Boss : which part ?
 sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

 

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
 computer.
 Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
 Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

 

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
 Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

 

Banta: U cheated me.
 Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
 Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
 India Radio!


 


KEEP SMILING ALWAYSSSSSS~~~~~~~~
BUT REMEMBER ALL SARDAR'S R NOT DUM~~~~~


Jai Sai Ram...

[Sai ka Tej]

jai sai ram

An Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman " arrived at the New York airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hours for the authorities to call his name.



He got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet.
 
They said that they have been calling him for the last 2 hours as

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"Anotherman Superman"


 

sai ram

[tana]

Om Sai Ram...

How Santa Singh got His Job~~~
 
Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time .

He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa Singh Then goes thru his certificates and then starts asking him questions.


Following is the transcript :

O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites

S : Yes Sir.



Officer started asking questions

O : Above

S : Below

O : Front

S : Back

O : Left

S : Right

O : Male

S : Female

O : Ugly    (means Next in Punjabi)

S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)

O : Ugly...U-G-L- Y( Officer spells it)

S : Pichhly...P- I-C-H-H-L- Y( Our Santa Singh also spells it)

O : U.....G..... L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)

S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y......

Our Santa Singh also shouts)

Officer is now angry.

O : Get out

S : Come in.

O : Quiet please.

S : Talk please.

O : You are rejected.

S : I am selected ........ ....... And This is how Santa Singh got his job.


 


Jai Sai Ram...

[tana]

Om Sai Ram...

ESSAY ON POOR FAMILY....  

Once in a kindergarten, a teacher asked all students to write an essay on the topic "A Poor Family". One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay. The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as.......

She wrote:

Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb they, do bachey they, who bhi bahut gareeb they!!

Ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver, aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they. Ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha.

3 mercedeez car thi, unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha, aur uppar se ghar mein 1 saal se paint nahi hua tha!!

Family ko holiday ke liye foregin country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they, Ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they!!!

All in all , bahut hi gareeb family thi!!

 


Jai Sai Ram...

[tana]

Om Sai Ram...

 


Ek lardke ne uske pappa se pucha: Pappa aap kahan paida hua the?
Pappa: Main Banglore main paida hua tha.
Phir lardke ne pacha pappa se: Mummy kahan paida hui theen?
Pappa ne jawab diya: Woh Hyderabad mein hui theen.
Phir se lardke ne pucha: Main kahan paida hua tha???
Pappa: Tum baita Delhi main paida hua the.
Phir bache ne pocha (masoomiyat se): Phir hum mile kaise???

 

 
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights.

A Surd was also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound “guooonn, guooonn.”

 


He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not going for the bloodshed still wanted to take revenge.

Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says “so ja machchar, bete so ja.” After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says “guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn.”

 

Jai Sai Ram...

[Ramesh Ramnani]

जय सांई राम।।।
 
एक खूबसूरत सी लड़की स्पीड से कार ड्राईव करके जा रही थी, सामने के टर्न से एक हेन्डसम सा लड़का आ रहा था।

लड़की की नज़र उसकी नज़रों से टकरा गई।
 
लड़की ने भी उसको देखा...स्माईल देने ही वाला था.....मगर ज़ोर से चिल्लाने लगा।

घोड़ा...घोड़ा...घोड़ा...घोड़ा!

लड़की ने भी उसको देखा...स्माईल देने ही वाली थी....मगर ज़ोर से चिल्लाने लगी।

डाईनासौर....डाईनासौर....डाईनासौर....डाईनासौर!
 
लड़की की कार.......अटैचमैन्ट में देखें       
             
अपना सांई प्यारा सांई सबसे न्यारा अपना सांई

ॐ सांई राम।।।

[saikrupakaro]

:-*Dear Sai Bhagat,

when you see this Messge " Close your eyes and see SAI BABA  , breath inhale saying BABA BE WITH ME ALWAYS " open your eyes.

Thanks baba is happy with you.

  :-*Bolo shri Sat Guru Sainath maharaj ki JAI

Sai Anamika

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Heaven

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.

In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.

But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"

Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word....

 


Jai Sai Ram~~~

[janvi]

thank your ramesh bhai

bahot mazaa aaya ...bahot dino baad hasne ka mauka mila aap ki wajah se....aise hi ham sab ko hasaate raho.....toh sabke dukh aise hi khatam ho jaayenge......

jai sai ram

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Are you kidding?
 
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"


The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
.
.
.
.
.

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."


 


Jai Sai Ram~~~

[Ramesh Ramnani]

JAI SAI RAM!!!

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom banging' her boyfriend."

The minister fainted.

OM SAI RAM!!!

[OmSaiRamNowOn]

Jai Sai Ram! Hare Krsna!

A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword, would cut through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school.

As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile.

Another and another were to follow quickly and with each the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile.

When the mother's car drew up beside the child she lowered the window and called to her, "What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?"

The child answered, " I am trying to look pretty. Krsna keeps taking my picture."

May Krsna bless you today as you face the storms that come your way.