Forgiveness the Gift We Give Ourselves
We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done
us wrong must ask of US. There is always another way of looking at
something. My thoughts on forgiveness suggest that you focus on
offering forgiveness TO the person who has wronged you.
Someone once said, "To err is human, to forgive is Divine." Believe
it!
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you
do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Simply
identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: "Am I willing
to waste my energy further on this matter?" If the answer is "No,"
then that's it! All is forgiven.
Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a
better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your
hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to
give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe
in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you
can survive the pain and grow from it.
Telling someone is a bonus! It is not necessary for forgiveness to
begin the process that heals the hurt.
Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive
AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the
anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life
miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the
betrayer claim one more victim.
There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven. Nothing!
I believe that to withhold forgiveness is to choose to continue to
remain the victim. Remember, you always have choice.
When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. The person you
have never forgiven. . . owns you! How about an affair? Just because
you choose to forgive, does not mean you have to stay in the
relationship. That is only and always your choice. The choice to
forgive is only and always yours.
When you feel that forgiveness is necessary, do not forgive for
your "their" sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they
would come to you and ask forgiveness but you must accept the fact
that some people will never do that. That is their choice. They do
not NEED to be forgiven. They did what they did and that is it -
except for the consequences, which THEY must live with.
The hurts won't heal until you forgive! Recovery from wrongdoing that
produces genuine forgiveness takes time. For some, it may take years.
Don't rush it. It helps to focus your energy on the healing, not the
hurt!
HEALTHY love relationships are not possible without forgiveness! You
cannot have a loving and rewarding relationship with anyone else,
much less yourself, if you continue to hold on to things that
happened in the past. Regardless of the situation, making peace with
past love partners, your parents, children, your boss or anyone who
you think may have "done you wrong" is the only way to improve your
chances of a "healthy" relationship with yourself or anyone else for
that matter!
It is not possible to truly be present and available to a new
relationship until you heal the hurt and upsets of the past.
Forgiving someone else is to agree within yourself to overlook the
wrong they have committed against you and to move on with your life.
It's the only way. It means cutting them some slack.
"What?" you say! "Cut them some slack after what THEY did to me?
Never!" Let go! Move on!
Non-forgiveness keeps you in the struggle. Being willing to forgive
can bring a sense of peace and well-being. It lifts anxiety and
delivers you from depression. It can enhance your self-esteem and
give you hope.
LoveNote. . . The things that two people in love do to each other
they remember. And if they stay together, it is not because they
forget, it is because they forgive. - From the movie, Indecent
Proposal
Forgive and forget is a myth. You may never forget AND you can choose
to forgive. As life goes on and you remember, then is the time to
once again remember that you have already forgiven. Mentally forgive
again if necessary, then move forward. When we allow it, time can
dull the vividness of the memory of the hurt; the memory will fade.
Forgiveness is a creative act that changes us from prisoners of the
past to liberated people at peace with our memories. It is not
forgetfulness, but it involves accepting the promise that the future
can be more than dwelling on memories of past injury.
There is no future in the past. You can never live in the present and
create a new and exciting future for yourself and your love partner
if you always stay stuck in the past.
If you are at war with others you cannot be at peace with yourself.
You CAN let go. . . and forgive! It takes no strength to let go. . .
only courage. Life either expands or contracts in direct proportion
to your courage to forgive. Your choice to forgive or not to forgive
either moves you closer to what you desire or further away from it.
There is no middle ground. Change is constant.
Want peace of mind? Forgive. The same energy you use to hold on (to
not forgive), is the same energy you need to create a new and
exciting relationship TOGETHER; a relationship anchored in
unconditional love.
Forgiveness helps you move forward. No one benefits from forgiveness
more than the one who forgives!
Give yourself the gift of forgiveness. The very word forgiveness is
built on the root word give. Forgiveness releases your partner from
your criticism and also releases you from being imprisoned by your
own negative judgments. It is not surrender, but a conscious decision
to cease to harbor resentment. In affect, it takes the poison our of
your body. It cleanses your system of the poison that will surely
fester and cause illness and continued misery if not released. You
cannot take the poison and expect someone else to die. They will go
on with their life and you will be the only one to continue to
suffer.
Forgiveness is the key to your own happiness. Forgiving someone else
takes moral courage. It ends the illusion of separation, and its
power can change misery into happiness in an instant. Forgiveness
means choosing to let go, move on, and favor the positive.
Forgiveness is a form of love within the context of a personal
crisis. To forgive is, in a sense, to love one's enemy. When
forgiveness is given because you think you should, it no longer is
forgiveness but an act of self- interest.
"Forgiveness means deciding not to
punish a perceived injustice, taking action on that decision, and
experiencing the emotional relief that follows."
Forgiveness breaks the cycle of hatred, resentment, anger and pain
that is often passed on to those around you.
Forgiveness. What it's for? It creates the freedom to create a new
future beginning now!
subhasrini
OM SAI SRI SAI JAYA JAYA SAI!!!
Let us pray at the feet of Sai Baba who is the incarnation of all gods and protector of all, to show mercy on us, and increase our devotion towards him.
Topic: Forgiveness The Gift We Give Ourselves (Read 1376 times)