Trust is More Important Than Love~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Trust is More Important Than Love~~~

 
Once we lose trust, relationship is impossible. We can compromise it, and stick around for the ride but the truth is, once trust is gone, love can't flow.

In business, as has been proven over and over, people can't be trusted. Leave an employee near an open computer and they'll connect to the internet and waste time. Accuse them and they'll scream like you just shot them in the foot. Interesting isn't it.

To be accused of untrustworthiness is one of the most sensitive insults you can hand another person. People can, and will, lie through their teeth about things that have breeched trust.

The Ancient laws of nature predict this clearly. They suggest that we have within us, 7 levels of mind. The lowest of these exists in everyone, as well as the highest. That lowest mind is a devil in disguise. And cannot be trusted, in anyone.

The lowest mind functions on instinct. Many people are living in this level of mind. We call it survival instinct but there's allot of complexity in this survival. A multi millionaire might still be in survival mode. A beautiful woman or a handsome guy might be in survival instinct. A religious fundamentalist is operating in survival instinct. Anyone who is in survival instinct is operating in their lowest mind, and therefore cannot be trusted.

Why can't they be trusted? Because there is so much fear, so much guilt that their real authenticity cannot be "allowed to surface" They put on a brave face and can be some of our most successful people, but their fears or their guilt drives them insane, or to self destruction.

To be trustable, you have to trust yourself. That means you do things in private that you are "not ashamed of" and you are not always "should-ing" yourself. Should do this and shouldn't do that. To be trustable, you'll need some level of transparency between your revealed self, and your non revealed self.

Once trust is lost between two people it can rarely be regained. If love is an the iron that holds us together, trust is the silk that binds us. Love can tolerate so much abuse, trust on the other hand cannot and once broken, is really hard to repair.

I think trust is more important than love. A person you trust, you can eventually love. A person you love who breaks your trust, you will never settle in intimacy with.

There are circumstances when people speak of MEN, or WOMEN, as a generic class of people. They have a prejudice about "ALL MEN" or "ALL WOMEN" and there are so many books written to encourage this idea of one mould fits all. For some people "ALL WOMEN" or "ALL MEN" are unworthy of trust. This is a huge problem because people become as we treat them. The untrusting lover actually breeds the un-trustable partner.

There was once a beautiful woman who betrayed many men. She eventually birthed a child and wanted to settle down. She chose a man, one she loved, but she couldn't trust him. What she had done, she knew he was capable of doing. This is called Karma.

The only way to stop breeding this untrustworthiness in her partners, was to begin to believe that she herself was worthy of being trusted. She became more transparent to her partner, she opened to him. The second part was to accept that what she had done to others, others could do to her. It was only fair. So, she gave her partner permission, to cheat. She told him that she had found the need to be unfaithful in the past and that if he found that need, it was ok. From this strange vantage point she no longer held suspicion, no longer felt guilty. She released him to do as she had done.

Months later  the partner in deep privacy came to know me that he had cheated on many of his partners before, but, now in this relationship it was as if he didn't need to. He claimed that the fact that his wife had given him permission was the deepest love he'd ever felt and he no longer had the urge.

This is all on the surface. The deepest core of this story, is that the lady I consulted to had stopped breeding her fears in her partner. She had stopped being guilty about her own past. She had risen above the lowest mind which manifests it's fears and guilt's in others.

It is one couple where trust was mended.

The ancient laws of nature are difficult sometimes. They often require a personal honesty that is beyond the lower mind. An acceptance that what we judge in ourselves, we breed, attract or cause in others.

This is real healing.

All I want to say is ~~

 
"BE Faith full to the One who loves you… never break trust … god shall never uplift you …  be true to your heart …."

 
This will makes life  if you cannot be truthfull Please never love any one~~~


Jai Sai Ram~~~

[Dipika]

OMSAIRAM!A very gud post Tana.

TRUST IS GOD.

ALLAH MALIK!



Sai baba let your holy lotus feet be our sole refuge.OMSAIRAM

[anchal.gpt]

Well said...A genuine explanation.

[Pearl India]

om sai ma
om sai ma
om sai ma
om sai ma
om sai ma
om sai ma

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Love and Happiness~~~

Love and happiness are a pair of railway tracks, and they move together. In the times of sorrow,we forget love, and in absence of love, we can not stay happy. If we are happy, love flows inside us and we fall in love with everything provided by the Mother Nature. If we are loving, we will automatically be happy.

So, if you are not happy, make yourself fall in love with things or people around you, because love is or it is not. If you love even one person, love for all will make its way from inside you.
If you are not able to love, try to make yourself happy in all the ways you can so that love flows out. And this happens...

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Never Cry for One Who Makes You Cry !! 

The True side of Love~~

Once, there was this guy, who was in love with a gal. She wasn't the most beautiful and gorgeous but for him, she was everything.
He used to dream about her, about spending the rest of life with her. His friends told him,
"why do you dream so much about her, when you don't even know if she loves you or not?
First tell her your feelings, and get to know if she likes you or not".
He felt that was the right way. The girl knew from the beginning, that this guy loves her.
One day when he proposed, she rejected him.
His friends thought he would take to alcohol; drugs etc. and ruin his life.
To their surprise, he was not depressed.
 When they asked him how was it that he is not sad, he replied,
"'why should I feel bad? I lost one who never loved me & she lost the one
who really loved and cared for her."

  Never Cry for One Who Makes You Cry !! 

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

A Nice Article about Love~~~

by Swami Vivekananda~~~


I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were
sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with
some water and held it before me, and said this:
"You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love."

This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow
it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to
close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the
first cracks it finds.

This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try
to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling
out of your hand, love will retrieve from you .

For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are
people you love, allow them to be free beings.

Give and don't expect.

Advise, but don't order.

Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly
practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must
sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an
unconditional caring."

Passing thought... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take;
but by the moments that take our breath away.....

Life is beautiful~~~Live it~~~

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

These Things Called LOVE~~~

 There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or yourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.

We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
 
We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.

An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different. Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.

A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.

A daughter comes home late, way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listens carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.
 
We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely.
 
We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have  tried to express.

The problem is listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.

The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize.

Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place after all:

LOVE is a happy thing.
It makes us laugh.
It makes us sing.
It makes us sad.
It makes us cry.
It makes us seek the reason why.
It makes us take.
It makes us give.
Above all else, it makes us LIVE.

It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present WITH someone. It is a matter of being present to someone.
So remember...

If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.
 
Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway.


Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Stretch the Rope~~~

A wise and understanding heart does not repay a hurt with a hurt. In doing so, the heart is diminished. Fissures form. Love leaks out. Every pain given in return for one received, changes the contents of the heart. It is no longer defined by love, wisdom and understanding. It is redefined by the bearers of hurt and hate, pain and prejudice, meanness and madness, sorrow and sadness. You give away control of your very own heart.

Revenge does not diminish the pain. It only makes it worse. Hurting the one that you love will eventually hurt you in the end. Overcoming it, not clinging to the hurt and inflicting more of it on the world, heals the despair of being hurt.

When darkness is added to darkness, no one can see, no one can love, and everyone loses. It's been said that an eye for an eye makes the world blind. Love is not always warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it's the integrity we hold onto when we're tempted to strike back. Sometimes it's the honor that keeps us from exchanging the valuable contents of our heart for the harsh satisfaction of lashing back.

No, the way of love is not always easy, but when night falls, dawn is assured. The integrity and honor of a wise and understanding heart, rises with the sun of a new day.

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Learn to Love Yourself~~~


Stop All Criticism ~~ Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

Don't Scare Yourself ~~ Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

Be Gentle And Kind And Patient ~~ Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

Be Kind To Your Mind ~~ Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

Praise Yourself ~~ Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself ~~ Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

Be Loving To Your Negatives ~~ Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now, you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care Of Your Body ~~ Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

Mirror Work ~~ Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you."

Love Yourself ~ Do It Now ~~ Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now -- and do the best you can.

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Faith is beyond intelligence!
PARAMAHAMSA SRI NITHYANANDA


It is easy to acquire intelligence.
If we work continuously using our intellect, it matures into intelligence.
There are a number of meditation techniques that can help us sharpen our intellect.
The peak of intellect is intelligence.

Emotions arise from the heart.
Ancient masters have taught us many meditation techniques and methods to work on our emotions.
Any of these meditation techniques will change our emotion to faith.
The peak of emotion is faith. Our thoughts have a lot of power.
Be clear about one thing: if you believe in a particular god or guru, believe with all your might.
Do not bother about whether he has power or not.
Your faith has the power.

Ramakrishna used to narrate this beautiful parable to his devotees.

A learned scholar, a great pundit, had his home on one bank of a river. All provisions for his home used to come from the other bank. A milkmaid used to bring him fresh milk every morning.

One morning she was late, very late. The pundit was very angry with her. “My morning prayers have been delayed because of you,” he ranted, “don’t you have any responsibility?” She apologised profusely. “Master, the river was in spate and the boats refused to ply. That’s why I was late.”

“Don’t give me excuses” roared the pundit, “if the boats couldn’t come you should have walked on water. How can you make the gods wait? Have faith and cross the river.” The milkmaid meekly listened and went away. She was never late gain. A month later it rained profusely for a week and no boats could ply.

Yet, the milkmaid came on time and delivered the milk. The pundit asked the milkmaid how she managed to come at all. She simply said, “you told me how to do it. I believed in you and walked on the water ever since that day!” The pundit was shocked. Disbelieving her, he took her to the riverbank and told her to cross the river, which she did with ease. “If this milkmaid can do it believing in me, I should have greater powers” thought the pundit. Lifting his dhoti with one hand he stepped into the water and promptly sank.

“Oh! Master! What faith do you have? How can you cross the river if you believe your dhoti would get wet?”

You do not need an enlightened master to liberate you.
All you need is absolute trust. A stone can liberate you.
Ramakrishna was enlightened through his unshakeable faith in the statue of Mother Kali.
When you live with such trust and surrender your mind, body and senses to the entity you trust in, you are automatically enlightened!

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Breaking Down Your Break Up~~~
Love Lessons Learned~~~


Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the circumstances) all things come to an end one way or another. While heart break (or even amicable break ups) can be tough, there are lessons to be learned from them.

The blame game is worthless~~
While we have a tendency to be oddly competitive when it comes to who dumped whom, in the end, it doesn't matter which partner ended the relationship. There's a universal theory that "what's good for me is good for you." This is based on the idea that if I'm doing something I don't want to be doing it's not benefiting you, even if you feel like it is what you want.

Relationships need to be mutual and if something major isn't working on one end (and that has to be the case if someone is going to be pushed to the point of a split up), then the person on the other end really deserves more. Most likely, the issues are mutual, whether the person who's been broken up with realizes it or not. Like with all things, hindsight is 20/20 and eventually the reasons will become clear and life will go on. It may seem hard to believe at the moment, but rest assured, it's true.

Maybe, it's just not about you~~
After being dumped, many of us spend a lot of time wondering "what did I do?" While it's tempting to wallow, it's really a waste of time to question the why, why, why of it all. This may sound outrageous, but the simple truth is that in the absence of glaring offenses like cheating and abuse (though even those are sometimes symptoms rather than the actual problem), you probably didn't do anything. What causes one person to break up with another is something within that person. It's an internal dissatisfaction that cannot be repaired by anyone else. It's growing pains.

Even seemingly perfect relationships go awry when one or both partners are going through something internally and need to work through it on their own. Sometimes the union cannot withstand the growth and change of the individuals in it. Yes, this is hurtful, especially if you're not the one doing the changing, but there's nothing that you could have done differently to prevent it.

Just do better next time~~
Even good relationships end. But regardless of what your relationship was like, there were certainly mistakes that were made, patterns that should be changed - on both ends, but you can only concern yourself with yours. For instance, if you realize that you had a tendency to hear what you wanted to hear and not what was really being communicated sometimes, instead of beating yourself up for missing the signs, you can work on really listening.

Note that issues you have in relationships often translate to other areas of your life, so you can easily practice this at work and with friends. In short, rather than pining for too long over what is gone (a certain dose of sadness/mourning is normal and good), this is a great time to look at yourself and your motivations - not "how could I have kept this from happening?" but rather "how can I work to be more fulfilled in life," which will, in turn translate to being more fulfilled the next time you're in love.

Make a clean break~~
Oh, it sounds so simple, but it's not. However, while making a clean break in the wake of a split is tough, it really, truly is the best thing to do. For the moment anyway. A time will probably come when you can be friends with your ex again, but early on, the best thing you can do is stay away from each other. No easy task when this is the person you're used to talking to about your problems, but when you're struggling with a broken heart, the person who caused it is not the correct confidant.

Talk to a friend, hit up a family member. Stay away from the person you wish you still had (or who wishes they still had you), because things will get complicated. Nothing hurts worse than watching an ex's attitude toward you change (you drop on your ex's priority list after the break up and may find this a rude awakening), or if you're on the other side, being the one to do the hurting of someone you may not want to be with, but care for. You're broken up.

Once something is over, it's done and holding on to it will only keep you in that moment, which is not a pleasant place to be...

Take time alone~~
While it may seem lonely when you're used to being paired up, rushing into a new relationship isn't going to do much to help things. If you're the one who was dumped, you're going to compare this new person to your ex endlessly and wind up taking out your old emotions on this undeserving person who at some other time may have made a good mate. Ride out your roller coaster as long as you have to rather than jumping in, looking for a savior. Remember, if there's anything being broken up with has taught you, it should be that you are your only salvation. Sometimes it hurts to grow, but when you come out the other side, it's worth it.

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Love is the Greatest~~~

Let me tell you what the Holy Scriptures have to say about what we all yearn for.
We all desire love and we always want more and more.

Love is patient and kind; love is not boastful, proud or rude.  Love does not demand its own way, love is not irritable and it has no doubt.
Love keeps no record of when its been wronged, but rejoices when the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never  loses faith - it is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.
Love  will last forever and ever- in its wonderful feeling we can all dance.

Love is the key to life - it gets us up each day with great joy and expectation.
Yes, love makes us what we are and it's with us for the duration.

There are three things that will endure - faith, hope and love.  The greatest of these is love - it's the greatest one!
Let's all praise the Lord everyday and share our love with everyone!
     inspired by 1 Corinthians  13:4-13     


Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

It’s so easy,
To think about Love,
To Talk about Love,
To wish for Love,
But it’s not always easy,
To recognize Love,
Even when we hold it….
“In our hands”~~~

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~

Handling Love~~~

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself.  There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.  If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return.  Do not take advantage, do not cause pain
 
How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the
same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he /she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, Let it go.  There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.
 
Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you.  All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.
 
This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they
understand love only as a need.  They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they
revert to seeing their love as need. 

They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone
who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made
to grow only by giving it away.
 
Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own
seasons, and its own reason for coming and going.  You cannot bribe it or
coerce it, or reason it into saying.  You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.
 

But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover,
there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
 
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

Don't deny love just only you don't want to be hurt~~~

Jai Sai Ram~~~