Dear all,
sorry,but i donot understand why we cannot replace the words 'love' and 'understanding'with the words'compromises ' and 'sacrifices'..why anyone has to feel better at the costing of hurting the other?why one has to kill and crush ones all desires/hopes/and dreams..inorder to impress or win over the other?
I can empathise Prajna's condition and life state.She is in a serious situation and is asking some very important questions.each of us should try to think out of the box and give suggesstions.
Recently,i attended a womans forum in which there was a discussion where we were analysing the future of women in this world 200 years from today.where we will be,how we will be received and treated..how much times would hv changed..and soon and so forth.I stood upto represent millions of women in my country and announced loudly,to all these 300 women and men from London(as i am a traveller here),how hardworking,laborious,simple hearted and giving..these women of my country are! and how we can compete with the designs of items we all see in magazines like Vogue and Marie Claire which are made by qualified designers ..But noone gives them any recognition,noone gives them any credit or inspiration.Womans life in India passes away in adjusting and sacrificing for family..and whole of her life is usually passed like this.Yes, we see our mothers too.Don't our others have any dream?Did they not want to give shape to their abilities and feel good about being themselves?So, I feel, that men should also try to develop and grow up more.Times are changing,and we need to have a balance.Love,compassion,understanding,respect are foundations of marriage.and we must try our best to generate them in a relationship.we should listen to each other and talk freely to each other.If we hide our inside and keep compromising for everything,we will justbe lifeless. Marriage should be an experience in which we grow and bloom together and reach our utmost beauty.we should not be wilted flowers..with faded colours.I want each of you to feel special and feel worthy of respect .and baba says, with faith and patience,anything is achievable.Let us try to become comrades/colleagues and friends in our marriages.we are life PARTNERS.a partner has equal share of responsibilites/rights and duties.but everything has a right time.even gautam buddha waited for long time after attaining englightenment.because he felt that common men were not yet receptive to understand his discourses.so,sometimes, we have to find a way which is best understood by the other party and then try and relate to them .
Sorry Prajna,
i dont think i have helped you in anyway as i hvnt mentioned abt your problem .but i genuinely feel the seriousness of this matter .I hope u should try your best to make your marriage work out.Find what he likes and tell him what u like..and u both have to agree to make it work out.Please appreciate him for whatever qualitis he has.You may not be good in something that he is good at..similarly,he maynt be good in what u re good at.I appreciate your thoughts and can make out that you are wise and thoughtful.if u want to send a mail, pls note my id is
babsiswriting@hotmail.com Feel free to write what u like. and always try to connect to Sai baba and do some meditation for relaxing your mind.
I humbly apologise if anyone feels i hv cut down their word. My intention is to just to put forth my views.The more diffrent views we have, the better insights we will get.
I am sure, if or when i become a mother, I would want my daughter to have a dignified and fulfilled life full of value and inner happiness.I wouldnot want her to sacrifice all her life in deep sorrow trying to win dumb people who donot see her inner beauty and pure love .Amidst all this,i have also realised that parents have a very important role in bringing up their children.all mothers should inculcate good moral values in their children .All mothers should love their children unconditionally and selflessly.Most marriages fail or are sad due to problem from extended families in india.
Love to all..and Love Baba Sai because of whom ,i can express my views and thoughts openly on this forum.