Hi,
ramajaya and sairangdaughter...congrats to both of u that atleast ur guys are ready...and they expressed their love towards u...god bless you both and all others.
well in my case, things have become worse...my parents are looking gys for me, so i called up prasad for the last time to ask him to marry me. and he said NO, he said he is on verge of getting committed and he told me never to contact him, he said gud ur parents are finding guys for u, just move on, live ur life...he said i understand and respect ur feelings, but i dont want to marry u. dont ever call me again.
i cried the whole night...i was ina curch when i called him...i was there till night 9.30 crying..and it was thursday...i went to baba's temple, cried at his feet...and told him i will never ever come to ur any temple again.
meanwhile theres 1 guy rahul, who showed care towards me...i feel i have started liking him...just coz when prasad had hurt me by saying NO, he showed care...i was in my worse mental state...i felt like dieing...
now my state is that...i feel i like rahul but i knw even he cant marry me coz of same caste problem...but i still wish to marry prasad...not rahul...feeling like marrying rahul was just a part of depression and coz i was shattered...and in such situation if anyone gives care we tend to get closer to them...
dont knw why but i have started getting hatred in my mind for prasad, at times i feel its gud i didnt marry prasad who cudnt understand and respect my feelings, hwo kicked me off for caste and his family......but when my parents tell me about some other guys...i immediately start crying, i remember prasad and i wish to marry him again....
i love him, but the way he treated me, i am very much angry on him...
that gal prasad's friend was finally i guess successful in separating me and him...i really dont knw if prasad comes back to me will i be able to forgive him and marry him, or i'll say NO in anger and frustration...and bit of hatred...
1 more thing...i knw people are happy here, who have got their loves, so i dont wish to off their moods...butfrom my side I NO MORE BELIEVE IN GOD AND SAI BABA...baba doesnt understand love....i knw i'm writing against him.......but it was all in his hand, he cud have united me and prasad....but now the condition is my immense love for prasad is converting into hatred and disgust for him....baba has brought this condition on me.....and even if i like rahul or feel like marrying him...i cant, coz i knw i had from my heart bcome prasad's...how can i become someone else's...........
i may marry someone and be happy...but i will never forget wat baba did to me...
i had put chits asking will i marry prasad, i got yes...then i asked mom to pick, since mom is as gud as god for us...even that time got yes answer...and then someone told me to get it picked by some young kid, we have no young kid, so got it picked from my younger brother, again got yes......baba has broken his words....now nothing is possible...
prasad will never come...and even if he comes, dont knw if i will be ready to marry him...after such a long time of waiting and getting hurt and insulted by him....baba why u brought this situation on me...why u brought such conditions on me which changed my feelings for prasad..........
kyun mujhe tadapa rahe ho? kyun??? i am sorry but i dont have faith my faith has been broken by baba again...rest of u can continue...may u get all that u want...and no one shud get such condition on them...
i asked all for my family, but will never ask for myself...
i requested for last time...to wish to marry prasad...but dont knw...i'm so much shattered and mentally disturbed...that now i dont feel like marrying prasad...i have gone thru lots of things just coz i did i small mistake of loving prasad immensely, more than myself, caring him...and making him a part of my heart...and this is my punishment of loving someone...
i'm no more a sai baba's devotee...bye friends...all the best...
Topic: Does sai baba support love marriage (Read 256070 times)