Have lost all hopes !

[havefaith]

Dear Baba,

I am writing this post with a very bad state of mind . You have always been there for me when I needed you. But I feel you are not with me anymore .. Or is it because that I don't deserve you anymore .. Baba, even if you are not with me to help me out , please give me the courage to face the things.. I am tired baba ... Dont have any more strength ...

Happiness never stays with me for long ... I did my engineering with your support ... I know how much I struggled , but you held my hand and got me good marks and also helped me with my campus placements ... I started my job at one of the top companies but later realised that I was not so good at it ... Although I was trying hard to cope up with my work pressure you helped me by giving a good working environment... Later I thought of doing my MBA .. You again helped me getting a seat in a good college in my native state itself ... With the confidence that I will do well in MBA , I resigned my job instead of taking a break ... Now I see that I am struggling all again ... I feel ashamed to take help from you again as I did in my engineering ... But baba , Its not that I am not working hard ... But some thing is goin wrong ...Am not able to trace it Baba ... Today got my second sem marks ... have not done well ... the grades are very low ... I see myself last in the class ...Baba, I am planning to take a heavy loan from bank as part of the college fees ... With no work in hand and my present performance in my MBA , I feel it is very hard for me to get placed ... I dont want to trouble my mom anymore ... And I dont want to take any help from my relatives ...Baba I am not asking you to give me better grades ... But atleast help me by giving the courage to face people here ... Baba please help me ... I want my mother to be happy always ...