Dear Devotee,
You want only her. Love is not bad but a divine blessings of God. But if there is pain that is not Love only an emotional attachment. A Game of Mind. If Now I reply on your Why, It would be a pre-mature state. Get answer from your own experience. Walk the path. But be aware, Keep your eyes open. Not with closed eyes.
If Sai the eternal father ask you why you want that Girl, would you have any true answer ? (No filmy dialogues but a genuine reply)
I can only advice, if you can spare some time read Sri sai Satcharitra along with biography of Saint Tulsidas.
Have Patience and Faith on Sai! Future would be Good !
You mind will attain peace !
All The Best !
Jai Sai Ram !