Dear Vidushi,
You need not to say or feel sorry, belief of sub conscious mind to change is not a easy task even for learned persons or yogis, then to expect from normal persons is really over expectation. But believe me Time heals all wounds. We are just river, if keep on flowing life seems blissful, but when stop it becomes so painful, so just learn to move on. Be strong, It is your life and if you want to be happy, you can be happy. Don’t put condition in your life that I’ll be happy only if he will come in my life. Conditional happiness never let life live in harmony. As I said to someone, Law of attraction always work in our life and creates wonders (It is my own experience too), If you are a person of negative emotions, living a painful life, you will always attract negative people, negative things in life, and soon start feeling own life a burden. But, if you live a happy life, never afraid of any problem of life, if comes takes them as a examination and do your best to pass those tests, you will start attracting happiness in all areas of life. Nothing will lack in any area of life. Sai will reward with a complete life.
Also I never say to struggle with your thoughts, The more you will try to forget him, Mind will produce more flashes in memory, So Just take this as ordinary event, leaving everything on Sai, If you can dare to surrender completely in the holy feet of Sai, It won’t take long to have a great life. All pains will get converted into pleasures.
Again at last, Life is yours, choice is yours, If you choose to keep on crying, will not make any difference in any one’s life except yours. But if you choose to move ahead in life, You will have a wonderful life also put impact on life of others being an inspiration. Dear, Live a large life. There are lots of things You can do in life, We all have been sent in this world for a limited period, One day all have to depart, Just enjoy that time, Even if you would get something after crying for many years, would it be worth of so many years pain. So, what you decide. Live as being victim of your destiny or a confident person facing the life cheerfully!
May Sai Bless You!
om sri sai ram!