Feature of the Week: Sai Apostle - H.H. Sivanesan Swami of Shirdi
A Chalice of Sai's Grace
It is a rare gift to accept a human being as one's spiritual mentor. A rarer gift is to receive the blessings of Sai Baba through the teachings and companionship of a pure Sai Bhakta (lover of God). And even rarer still, is the honor that is bestowed upon an individual when one is accepted as Guru by a sincere seeker. The bond between a pure lover of God and a pure teacher of God is so deeply molded in the archetype of spirituality that rarely does a teacher or a student meet the standard by which the inner Self can satisfy its need to fulfill this sacred relationship.
Through no conscious merit of my own, except for a lifelong desire to know God, I received the extraordinary Grace to meet, and live the days I spent in Shirdi, with the most extraordinary Sri Sai devotee I will ever have the privilege to call Guru. I offer my love, which I share with you this day, in memory of the late Swami Sivanesan of Shirdi, the embodiment of Sai Baba's Grace.
For decades, Swamiji lived in Shirdi, and he served Sai Baba and the Master's devotees with his pure love and wisdom. He could be found during the day washing floors, decorating the various places where the Master resided, performing puja rites at the sacred dhuni (fires), meeting Sri Sai's devotees, and helping them in all aspects of their sadhana (spiritual practices). My heart reminisces in joy, when I recall the evenings spent in the Chavadi (a small meeting hall where Baba slept on alternate nights), listening to the bhajans (songs) led by this gentle servant of Sai Baba. His own needs were quite simple; to serve and to love Sri Sai's devotees with all his heart.
I began studying with Swamiji in 1976, and over the years, whenever I came to him, he always asked if I had been to the Master's samadhi shrine for darshan. Sai Baba was his object of worship. He would never ask anyone to substitute their one-pointed dedication to Sainath. While his body was still strong, he never willingly allowed me to touch his feet, but instead, he would catch my hands and pull them to his heart and to his head. Even when I playfully tried sneaking up on him while his back was turned, he managed to catch my hands. "I am Sai Baba's devotee. Go to Sai Baba!", would be his response as his eyes chuckled with light and love. In later years, as crowds grew in number and his body grew older, Swamiji no longer had the strength to keep catching devotee’s hands reverently reaching out for him. Reluctantly, he accepted worship, and channeled it to his Beloved. For me, he was the perfect servant, and a perfect teacher. The depth of his knowledge still astonishes me. The depth of the meditative experiences I had in Shirdi while under his care, remain my Chaitanya (living) worship for the remaining days of my life.
After Swamiji passed away, news came to me from India that some of his devotees began treating each other badly, falling victim to petty rivalries, and forgetting who Sivanesan Baba represented. Learning about these events made me withdraw into deep sadness. Even my own words were published without my permission, to be used as endorsements by those needing support. These events caused me to weep, and it made me very depressed. I journeyed to seek the advice of a close friend who is a Mahamandaleshwar Saraswati monk. When I told him about the burdens occupying my thoughts, he smiled sympathetically, and reminded me how this often happens after a Saint leaves his body behind.
Last summer, Sivanesan resolved my turmoil. He fully manifested during my meditation, and he performed bhajans in the Dwarka Mayi of my inner heart. He then diffused within a vast ocean of consciousness, which I intuited as the Master. Sri Sai spoke to me in the tongues of Inner Light, "If he spent his life in Shirdi, if his body turned to dust in Shirdi, if he loved only Me, then who do you think he is?"
Since that day, I am no longer anywhere without feeling their consciousness embracing me. In memory of Cardinal John O'Connor, who has been laid to rest while I composed these words, I would like to end by reciting a Christian prayer with the hope that devotees always remember. "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil (ways). Amen."
I thank Sai Vichaar for providing me an avenue to share my feelings with Sai Bhaktas. Aum Sai Ram!
(A Contribution by Sai devotee Robert Kirk, USA)
JAI SAI RAM
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