Dear PM,
Are You illiterate or less educated ? Do you find it really hard to live at your own independent ? You want some support – no matter how poor relation is this ?
Sorry for these stupid questions, but your post reminded me about my one relative, who went through same situation, Kept bearing all insults and tortures silently, for more than 20 years. (That man used to beat her, abuse her) – just in the hope, one day some miracle will happen, and that man would change, but nothing happened and finally they got separated.
I am sharing this story not to make you disheartened, but to make you realize, this is the era of Kalyuga. Women are just not tortured by Men, But mostly by Women only, May be it M-I-L or Sister – In – Law, May be a reason of feeling insecure for losing her son or just being jealous.
You said, You love your husband (also that he should apologize for his mistake), But what is Use if He does not Love You. Such type of Love is only an illusion and a false self belief. This is your internal family matter, so I am not giving any direct advise, but sharing only some facts. Baba also used to say, We should not compromise at the cost of our self-respect. (Self-respect does not mean “Ego” here, but not giving rights to others to disgrace us).
We will pray for you, that Baba bless you with good married life and lessen the burden of your Karmas, You do your best, Try to make them realize you are also an important member of their family, May be their hearts get changed or they accept you whole heartedly, but if no desired things happen, You are the master of your own life .... How to live it .... only you can best decide !
Also do not feel weak or sick. Gain confidence and feel presence of Baba. And if possible, Feed Birds and Read Sri Sai Satcharitra. Also offer some Prasad to Lord Ganeshs in some nearby temple.
May Baba Sai Bless You !
om sri sai ram !