Unanswered prayers and baba

[Prasanthi]

Respected Sai Bandhus,

Unanswered prayers section, I think, is actually intended to write about unanswered prayers and over a period of time we realize on why particular prayer is unaswered.

The intention is that when we keep on reading such experiences, we will not feel that pain when a prayer is not answered.

Right now, my post is on an unanswered prayer and our reaction. Usually I quarrel with baba as I used to feel HIM as a friend and HE treated me so only. But of late there is no discussion between us.

I quarrel with him but whenever anyone scolds HIM, I feel very sorry and I can feel the abusiveness (may be they are justified as they keep so much of faith in HIM and HE doesn't talk or reply). It would be as if we cannot tolerate. But at the same time, I feel like we should not interfere in other devotee's emotions towards god.

Our neighbouring aunty is a dedicated devotee and she believes Mother (Rajarajeswari or some mother goddess). They are very orthodox in their prayers. They follow every rule and guideline so religiously. She doesn't know much about baba but as she keeps listening from us, she did sincere parayana (saptaha) parayana of baba.... like on the first and last days, she visited baba temple and garlanded HIM, offered naivedya etc., She told me that she did with utmost devotion.

Actually what happened was she invited us for Varalakshmi Vratam pooja. We went there to take Prasad. Somehow we began talking about baba and I said that I am not talking with baba as HE is not talking with me and that I am angry on HIM. On listening this she spoke very angrily on baba saying that I too don't believe HIM. I did this parayana with utmost devotion and faith. But HE didn't give me any message, leave alone fulfilling my wish.

Somehow I felt bad when she spoke so angrily on baba. I feel like crying. I understood how it would be if we quarrel with baba. How painful is it!!

One more time also I felt the same when a friend of mine, who is also a baba devotee, told me that she shouted at baba as her daughter got fever and was suffering without food for three days. She wrote me a mail. But on reading those mails only I understood how much angry she was and how she should have shouted at HIM. I feel so bad.

On one side I feel like every devotee has a right to quarrel with HIM as we feel we own HIM and HE is ours. But at the same time I wonder if it is good on our part. I too quarrel and I don't know if I am so harsh on HIM.

Let us pray that baba gives us sense to admire HIS love for us.

[Prasanthi]

Also my main intention in sharing this is that is it not baba's responsibility to talk with us, to give us some message. We do not ask for fulfilling our wish, just a communication from HIM (that we can understand. It is true that every breath we take is HIS prasad and every experience of us is HIS intention.) that HE listens to us.

Our neighbouring aunty is not a baba devotee. But still she did Saptaha Parayana (of course we are not doing a favour to baba by doing parayana) with utmost devotion with a hope (may be more than faith) to get HIS blessings. Whatever the reasons may be, if baba feels that it is not the proper time to fulfill her wish, fine, but HE would have shown her a sign that HE accepted her parayana and may be it will take more time for the realization of her wish. Even if HE doesn't say anything, if there is some sign that she feels that ok baba appeared to me, listened to me, accepted my parayana, that would be great, right?

As far as aunty is concerned, I feel that her right is justified. Let us all give it a serious thought. If we pray to baba for something and if HE doesn't grant that though we feel like quarreling with HIM and do quarrel also, heart in heart we feel like ok baba wanted it to be so. or else we will keep hope that some day HE will definitely fulfills. But if HE keeps silent and HE doesn't show us any sign, we will feel bad, right? Is there anything wrong that we expect signs from HIM that HE is with us all the time? Though we know that our mother loves us unconditionally, don't we feel like smothered by her!!