Baba, with your grace I have completed my 11,000 times japa with your name. Always be with me Baba. You know what I need the most. Theres not much hope and what I'm hoping against hopes seems almost impossible, but its not impossible Baba. I know you can and do make mircales happen and you have... God has made them happen in my life. The fact that I'm here is proof enough that miracles do happen and so many times since the past 5years. I have been hurt and upset with God before and still keep asking. But Baba you have no clue how thankful and grateful I am to God, to you, to God in every form and every bit of His creation for what I am today, for the beautiful life I'd been blessed with. I was never grateful then, but today I realize its worth. What God had blessed me with was something, a life no one could even dream of asking God for. I was so happy... so lucky and so thankless God. Am sorry for that. Maybe You did what You did to make me realize the worth of that life, those moments and those people... Thank You God... for everything... the good, the bad and the ugly which has made me realize the value of love and life today. Please take care of my parents God...him, his family, those close to me and everyone. Please heal everyone Baba. I've been a horrible person in the past. Please forgive me for all my sins and just be with me always in this new life. This is truely a new life for me Baba and I want to do nothing wrong anymore.
Despite being so wrong all this time, I'm still here Baba in the hope that You will forgive, God will forgive and still begging You for a miracle. I know You know the best and You'll bless me with only all thats best for me. Its silly God, but am hoping what I wish for, it turns out to be the best for me... or even if its not...You with Your miracles change circumstances and make it the best for me. Whatever You do next, I trust You and will not complain God. Just be with me always and help me. Give my life a strong positive direction God. I don't want to waste my life. Make me do what You sent me here for God. Let me not leave from here until I have completed every task You assigned to my soul. Please God, take care of my family. I've ruined enough. And cannot repair it alone. Just be there and do it for me God. I've surrenderred... though at times I do keep begging and asking endless questions... somewhere deep within I know You're with me and will always be and whatever You do I'll accept that as the best for me. I'm saying this right now Baba... but whatever I'm saying, give me the strength to do so... to stick to it, with unshakable faith... which has never been there. Aarti aunty says it will come. I trust it will come and get stronger and stronger with every passing day.
Baba, I still remember a lot of miracles... which I now realize were miracles... And I trust You.
Please Baba... all my life when my grandparents asked me to... I always ran away from You. But today as dad says I'm going to surrender and give all my problems to You... and know that You will solve them. Just always be there with me Baba... always....
Om Sai Ram