Baba...you know what happened with my child yesterday. I love him so much. Please take care of him always. And please take care of browny baba....i dont know where she is.
Baba...today i complete 1 year of being here at A. Its already 1 year down...but baba..how i have struggled! Its not the work. The work is easy and i can do it. Its the people and politics...i just cant get it. And baba...i feel so low and depressed when it comes to this. I want to be with my son and give him all the time. But i also want the money...Oh well...this will never end....
Every time i want to give up, i get angry...angry at others and more so with myself...i dont want to run away from the situation. I dont want any one else deciding when i should quit or continue. I will decide it for myself.
Success kya hai baba? How do we define success? Take 2 people - me and T. We both did extremely well in school, i kind of slumped in college where as T went on to graduate from the most prestigious college. Thats success i think (at that stage). i felt low and morose and begged you to give me a chance to make my parents feel proud of me. You were so kind to me....i got that chance and i think i made good use of it. Now 14 years down the line - when i compare T and myself - T is still in the same place doing the same thing...where as i moved on to bigger better things...ok so i had my lows and highs...but as of now - if professional success was what we are talking of - i may say i am successful. But baba...this is now...and that was then. Iska matlab hai....success is a factor of time. And when time changes, the success may or may not stay the same. That means - we cannot compare 2 individuals and say that he/she is more successful than i am or vice versa. Because if you say that - it means you are talking about that instant or time frame. It definitely can change over a period of time....
That means - if i want to measure my success in comparison to others - i should be comparing with different people at different points in time...OR the only constant throughout would be myself...so i can compare myself with myself over different points in time. So it basically means that at the end its all about how you precieve yourself and its about improving yourself. Everyday one must strive to be better than the previous day. Comparing with others may not have any benefits at all....it will only cause heartburns.
but again baba...even when i compare with myself...how do i define success? Because at the end of the day i want to know whether i made it after all or not. But if dont define what i want to measure myself against - i will not be doing justice to myself. So what is success - is it when others say that you are splendid in your performance and kudos to you OR it could be an internal satisfaction of doing the right things in the right time and with right quality. The problem with former approach is you are setting your happiness on responses from others. But that may not always work out for you. You cannot control people's behaviour. They may know you have done extremely well....still may not give you the right feedback for whatever reasons. Does that make you less successful? Going by approach one - it means that only. And if you pin all your hopes on this, you are surely not going to be happy.
Look internally. Look at what your mind shows you. Listen to your heart. open up to the inner voice...because that will never lie to you. It will always tell you what is right and wrong. You've worked hard all your life....you've got a good decent job...but if you are not happy...or if your inner voice cringes when you see malpractice/politics at work...then you are not going to be happy. Trust me - even when you do your very best or think that you will get the recognition you deserve, they will never acknowledge. And if you go by approach 1 - you will never be happy. So focus inwards. And if you plan to quit - you decide the timeframe, you decide the steps...you have the power to choose. Dont think that others are getting you down. They will always do that...only if you allow them to. If you give them more preference and give importance to their reactions - well...you have yourself to blame.
Again coming back to success - are you successful if you quit? Thats the question on your mind!! Going by all that we discussed above - success varies at different points in time. So it maybe that being able to quit this job itself may require tremendous amount of guts and fortitude. It is success if the inner voice feels peace and happiness. It is success if you wake up every morning and look forward to a happy day. Dont punish yourself for giving up all that you worked for. Sometimes its not worth it. See - its not just the job you do. You studied hard, worked hard to come to this position and baba has always been so gracious. But those were success at that point in time. At this point in time....having the guts to quit and yet make money while spending quality time with family is a success. Dont let others think that you will be a success only if you become a VP/CEO of a company. Dont think that you are running away from a problem...dont think you cant handle people. You are here only because of all that you did previously. Dont think that just because people are mean, you want to quit. No. its beyond that. You dont see it as being successful. Simple. So do what makes you feel successful.
I know there will be challenges and roadblocks aplenty. But baba...anything worth having, is worth fighting for. And with you by my side i know i will do well.
So help me dear lord and be with me always
Topic: Conversation with Baba....my true friend (Read 122287 times)