Conversation with Baba....my true friend

[vidyarp]

Dear Baba...good morning.
Sorry didnt write to u yesterday. I was kind of lost in my own thoughts Wasted a lot of time worrying about my future. Then went to the market from office and purchased 2 books for stepping into my new passion - writing. So i got a grammar book and a book on tech writing. Lets see....at least i should make a start. there i saw books on UGC NET also. For a moment - i felt that i could take that up as well....dont know. I am so confused. And u know what baba - i cannot discuss this with anyone since no one will understand. Only ma would've understood. Now that she is not there, i dont want to stress out my father.

Baba...i know that i am not liking it here in this organization simply because of the dirty politics and total lack of policies and processes. And the top mgmt is blind and refuses to see reason. They are treating people like cattle. And expect me to treat my people also like cattle. Make them slog and create pressure. Why?? I tried to reason, but am unable to do so. Maybe its a problem with me. I should have been able to convince. But cannot. My boss refuses to see any reason. So fine...either i change myself or change the organization. I plan to do the latter. But getting a job is also not that easy you know. Especially with all the constraints i have. Thats the reason why i had to think of alternatives. Today is thursday - your day baba....on this day, i start my journey in to the new domain. Bless me dear lord. And help me find options. I am going to plan the milestones and share them with you tomorrow. Let me know what you think.

Secondly baba - today my mil started taking pot shots at me and i also retorted in the same way. Theek kiya na And the best part - i did not feel bad or get angry. I would have if i had let her continue saying nonsense about me to M. She got the message loud and clear. But i didnt get angry baba....now thats a positive thing I didnt start it but i didnt accept wrong things and i didnt lose my cool...wow!!

Bas baba....give me the strength wisdom and courage to do the right things.

[dayalvasnani]

May Shri Sai Bless u

Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah

[vidyarp]

Dear baba....i miss my mother. More than me, my father misses her. He loves her so much and now he is all alone. Baba....my life is chaotic at the moment. Nothing is working out. I am trying so many things but nothing is of use. I am not getting success anywhere - personal or professional. Baba...it is very discouraging. Dont know how long i can pull on. Its just my faith that soon everything will be alright. This alone is keeping me going.

baba - u know the targets and goals i have set. Please bless me and help me reach the goals. Till then - i promise not to waste a single minute and not to consume anything sweet and junk.

[dayalvasnani]

Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai

[vidyarp]

baba...ab aur nahi saha jaa raha hai mujhse!!!! How long will this uncertainity remain?? I cannot take this anymore....i am getting desparate. Baba................please come to my rescue.......rehem karo baba...help karo baba.....

kaise chalta rahega aise baba....i dont see any future...

i am sad...

[dayalvasnani]

Have mercy Sai
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah

[vidyarp]

Thank u baba...for not getting totally lost in my depression. At least u have given me the strength to face any adversity that comes my way. I know today i will have some harsh words to hear from my boss and i also am sad for my father who has gone to his hometown. I am sad because of the lack of opportunities to swtich my job and am sad for not being able to take care of my son when he needs me the most.
But baba...u have given me the strength to face any situation. So long as i keep doing my work sincerely, nothing will affect me. I must be confident about myself and my efforts. And i must not waste any time.

baba...please see me through the day...

[dayalvasnani]

May Shri Sai bless u

Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai

[vidyarp]

Good morning baba...what a good feeling i get by getting your darshan everyday !! Its lucky that i doscovered your temple right next to my son's school. So everyday after dropping him off, i can come to see you and then leave for work. Thank you

Baba...u know what transpired between me and my boss yesterday. He is a hard task master. Although i agree with many things that he says, but my problem is i cannot do all those things. See - if i had to focus on career (which i would have loved to), then i can do all those things he said. But i have to look after my family. the travails of being a working woman No body understands baba. Nobody!! Its as if i am trying to walk on a thin cane stick and have to balance very well. If not, i fall into a pit. U know i cannot afford to fall. I have to earn enough to take care of my father's needs. I have to buy a house for him near my house. And for this i need money. This and this alone is driving me to take up the challenges at work without cribbing. And whom to crib?? No one seems to understand. The one person who understood me is no more - my mother....
So baba...i have made up my mind, never to discuss any problem with anyone - be it my father (who will always support me but i dont want to burden him with my problems) or my husband (who will not understand my point of view and will think that i should give up). Baba...i can only talk to u. Please baba...u dont refuse me....i have no one else to turn to.
Why is money so important baba?? If only i could do something about my father. Baba...is it wrong to be ambitious?? As a child i was always told to stand on my own feet, be financially independent, become successful....i achieved that and now everyone tells me slow down or stop since u have to look after family. Change your priority. Why?? Its always work vs home on my mind. and i have no peace i tell you.....
I feel trapped since i am not doing justice to either - neither work nor home. and i cant leave either. I am condemned to lead a life of misery is it???And my mil is not making it any easier for me at home. SO am stuck in a job that pays well but expects me to work with a bull headed idiot. And at home i have no comfort or peace because of my mil's constant cribbing ....i have to be a pillar of strength for my father after my mother's death - emotionally and financially. And my son needs me now as he is growing up. There - u have the entire picture....now u tell me what to do!!!

[vidyarp]

Good morning baba. Today is basant panchami. Technically speaking its my birthday as well as my son's birthday. Both of us were born on basant panchami day
Baba...please bless us all....It is so cold and foggy today. i wonder how would the children on the streets survive this cold. They too are like Kittu (my son). I cover my son in layers of clothes...wonder what those kids do...
Baba...please help me through the day. Its a long day and i need your help...

Jai sai baba...

[dayalvasnani]

Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai
Om Sai Shri Sai Jai Jai Sai

[vidyarp]

O Sainath...i have an interview today. I hope i do well...But u know what - today i am not feeling any tension or apprehension. Its as if all is well. basically, what i have started feeling is that u know better than me about what i need. So if you think it is good for me, you will help me clear. And if u think its not, then u will not. Simple na?? But that does not mean i sit idle and keep praying that u help me out. No. I am putting efforts at my end. Rest i leave it to you Thats the best i can do.
I m keeping my fingers crossed....baba..please show me the way...

Jai sai..

[dayalvasnani]

Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah
Om Shri Sainathaya Namah

[vidyarp]

Its not fair baba....Why is it that i never get what i want and even if i get, it is after so much of begging and pleading that by the time i get it, it has lost its importance. And baba...this is true for every single event in my life. How can that be baba?? Am i not a good human being? Have i done something wrong? To my knowledge, i have never hurt anyone intentionally or thought ill of anyone. But i have never got what i wanted on time. Every time its the same story...I mean why?? And am i asking for things that are out of place?? Am i asking for things that destroy others?? NO - I am talking about things that can bring comfort and ease to all. But baba...u dont want to listen.
How can sinners and wrong doers get everything and be happy where as people like me keep suffering?? No baba...this is not correct. I hate everything that is going on currently...nothing is going right and i have no one to talk to!!! How bad can it be??
I know i deserve something and at some level. But i have so many restrictions that nothing is working out for me.

I AM UPSET AND DEPRESSED.......................................

[vidyarp]

Baba...i tried explaining my feelings to my husband. Instead of consoling me, he accused me of maintaining double standards....It appeared as if he is feeling guilty but cannot admit it. So he tries to cover it with anger. But that anger is wrongly directed na baba!! Why blame me?? I am so hurt and upset. I cried and my 3 year old son came to cosnsole me...And when my father called, he told him that mummy is crying because daddy yelled at her. Imagine!! I just cant disturb m y father. he has enough problems already...
I felt like dying baba....honestly. I shut the door and took out my chunni. But then my son started calling for me and i thought about my father.....
I cant do this to them...but the stress is killing me.....

Please do something baba..............