thanks for reply me dayalvasnani ji
par ye mera attraction nahi hai , mai sat salo pahale us insan se mili thi , tabhi mai shaya kuch 20 sal ki thi, maine bachpan se bhagwan ki bahut bhakti ki hai aur mai bahut hi emotional bhi hu , maine hamesha bhagwan ke bataye hua raste par chalane ki koshish ki. bachpan se maine bahut taklife dekhi hai. par jab ye insan meri jindagi me aaya to mujhe laga ke meri talklife abhi dur ho jayegi. mai us insan me apana sahara dekh rahi thi , use apana sabkuch man rahi thi. maine dil se usake sath rishta jod diya tha par bad mujhe pata chala ke wo insan mujhe phasa raha hai , usaki shadi hui hai aur use bache bhi hai , ye bat mujhe do sal bad pata chalo par tab tak us insan me bahut jada involve ho chuki thi. apane jan se bhi jada pyar karane lagi thi use. wo insan hamesha mujhe ignore karata, mujhe talata rahata, us bich usane mera galat fayada bhi uthaya par us ke prati mere dil me jo sacha pyar tha usake liye maine use kabhi mana nahi kiya bas usake bad to taklife aur bhi jada badhane lagi , wo mujhe bahut jada ignore karane laga, mera depression aur tension bahut badh gaya, mai ghar me ya bahar kisi ko kuch bhi bata nahi pati thi. andar hi andar ghutati rahati thi. use hamesha pagalo ki tarah dhundati rahati thi. use bar bar phone kiya karati thi par wo hamesha mujhe ignore karata aur jab usaki jarurat hoti tab hi mere pas aata par pata nahi kyu wo jab bhi mujhase milata mujhe relax mahsus hota aur mai usaki di hui sari taklife bhool jati. bad me mai usake andar itani involve hoti gai ke usaki shadi ho chuki hai aur usane mujhe dhoka diya hai ye pata hone ke bad bhi mai use bhula nahi pa rahi thi. meri halat pagalo jaisi ho gai thi. mujhe hamesha use pane ki gandi dhun lagi rahati thi pata nahi kuu ? maine bachpan se bahut dukh dekhe hai na mujhe ma bap ka pyar mila aur na hi bhai bahano ka. mai apane sari bate hamesha bhagwan ke samane rakha kar karati hu par pata nahi ye kya hai jo meri samajh ke bahar hai. bar bar dur hone ke bawjood jab wo insan mujhe milata to hamesha kisi na kisi mandir me ya bhagwan ke sthan par jane ki bat karata aur mai usake liye hamesha pareshan hone ke bawjood use kisi bat ke liye pata nahi kyu mana nahi kar pati aur usake sath jane ke liye raji ho jati. maharashtra me aise bahut hi kam dharmik jagah hongi jaha hum nahi gaye. sabase pahale mujhe apane jindgi me SHIRDI wo hi lekar gaya tha. AUR AAJ TAK PATA NAHI KITANI BAR SAI NE HAME SATH HI BULAYA HAI SHIRDI. bhale mai kisi aur ke sath jane ka plan bhi karu to wo cancle ho jata aur sai sirf usake sath hi mujhe shirdi bulate . in sari batoka kya matlab hai baba ye janate hai ke mera unpar kitana vishwas aur shraddha hai aur unhe ye bhi pata tha ke wo aadmi mere liye galat hai phir bar bar wo kyu mere shraddha ke sath khelate rahe. ye silsila pichale 8 salo se chal raha hai. maine use bhulane ki bahut koshish par pata nahi kyu mai aaj bhi usake contact mai hu . pata nahi kyu mere andar aaj bhi ye gandi feeling hai ke mai usaki suhagin banu. maine baba ke dikhaye hua bahut sare upay kiye , guruwar ke vrat kiye , aneko bar sai charitra ka path kiya, puja ki par pata nahi kyu meri jindagi ke taklife baba dur nahi kar rahe hai. MAINE SAI SE YE BHI KAHA KE MAINE US INSAN KA JIS KISI JANAM ME JO KUCH BIGADA HO USAKE LIYE MUJHE MAF KAR DE. AUR AGAR HAM SATH NAHI AANE WALE HO TO MUJHE ITANI SHAKTI DEWE KE MAI US INSAN KO PURI TARAH SE BHUL JAU PAR YE BHI NAHI HO RAHA HAI AUR DUSARE TARAF SHADI KARANE KO MERA DIL MAN RAHA HAI. AAJ BHI KAI DINO TAK DUR RAHANE KE BAD BHI JAB WO INSAN MUJHE CALL KARATA HAI TO MAI USAKI DI HUI SARI TAKLIFE BHU KAR KHUSH HO JATI HU. AAJ BHI SAI HAME SATH SHIRDI BULATE HAI. KYA MATLAB HAI IN SARI BATO KA ? KYU SAI MUJHE JAWAB NAHI DE RAHE HAI. MAINE SAI SE SIRF ITANA KAHA THA KE MAI SUHAGIN BANKAR AAM LOGO JAISI JINDAGI JINA CHAHATI HU PHIR KYU SAI MERE MATHE PAR SE YE RAKHEL KA KALANK NAHI MITA RAHE? KYU MUJHE SHAKTI NAHI DE RAHE SAHI DECISION LE NE KI? KYU BAR BAR US INSAN SE MUJHE MILAKAR SHIRDI BULAWA RAHE HAI? KYU MERI SHRADDHA KE SATH KHEL RAHE HAI? PLEASE JAWAB DIJIYE . ABHI SACHMUCH MUJHASE SAHA NAHI JATA. aur aapne jo bola hai ke sahi aur galat ka faisal maine karana chahiye to wo itana aasan nahi hai mere liye isliye hi maine sai ka hath thamba taki wo mujhe shakti de par koi change nahi aaj bhi mai usi gandi aag me jal rahi hu. bina kisi ko kuch bataye , akeli sahan kar rahi hu. sai ko apana sahara manati hu to wo bhi meri madad nahi kar rahe hai ?
Topic: prayer for my marriage and to solve marriage problems and taking decision (Read 5457 times)