Jai Sainath,
I am a Humble admirer of saibaba for the past 3 Yrs and would like to share my views on my life events where i really got the anubhuti of the great lord helping me in the times of great difficulties and helplesness.
I am an engineer by profession and was working in a big company in India.Throughout my working days with the company,I was dedicated to my work for which customers preferred me anytime they had problems.
I was also promoted and a time came when my HOD was shifted to delhi and practically i was the man running my dept single handedly.I was 28 Yrs old and with the new freedom enthrusted on me,i started becoming selfish and oppurtunistic.In the spate of selfishness,i started forging invoices from the contractors and duping my company for personal monetory benifits.
As a saying goes that bad yields bad,the company top bosses managed to catch me and i was left completely exposed.I was upset and a sense of guilt ran through my veins,however it was too late.The managment rightfully decided to terminate my services with immediate effect and that crashed my entire life support system.I was in doledrums and was feeling like the biggest offender on this earth.I let my family down including my supportive wife,which never demanded anything from me except love and effection.
I realise the great mistake made by me but nothing can be done at that point of time.You can earn money anytime but not the prestige.To support my family which consit of my pregnant wife,I had no option but to start my own business.I struggled a lot to find finances and refrances but with no avail.Finally i could manage to enter into alliance with a established contractor and started my own business.
I was running pillar to post to get business but failed.Every night after my wife slept,I use to cry cry and cry not knowing what will come in the morning.I was completely shattered and felt let down.The guilt within me was so intense that one day i decided to end my life.Then due to the thought of my wife and unborn child went past me and forced me to decide against it.
One fine morning I got up from the bed and decided to fight the situation which was self-created and leave everything to God to decide.Meanwhile I was not getting any breakthrough in business and all the savings were draining down.I kept trying trying and trying.One day i decided to meet one guy in Nasik for exploring business possibilties and one of my friend was also due to go to nasik for his own business trip.I shared his toyota qualis and he droped me at nasik.
After the meeting the guy from nasik told me to visit shirdi,which i flatly refused and after lot of persistance,I told him that i will see if i get the time to visit shirdi.
It was already evening and i was waiting for my friend and his car to collect me so that we can start moving to home which was 700kms from nasik.He came and we started our journey.My friend and me were sleeping in the car and suddenly the driver braked abrubtally and i woke up and asked him that what had happened.The driver told me that he thinks that he is driving on the wrong road.I told him to halt the vehicle near a tea stall so as to enquire which road we are travelling.The tea stall guy informed me that this road leads to shirdi and advised me that the temple is near and should take the last aarti.I was furious on the driver,however with no choice left,i decided to take the darshan alongwith my friend.
I was standing in the que and my eyes happen to fall on the TV which depicted the sai.I had a magnetic effect and my eyes started shedding water.I was not knowing what was happening and then the turning moment of my life,I had the darshan of sai idol,majestic,elegant and mind boggling.I started to weep continuouesly,I was so annoyed with myselves that everybody was looking at me.I told sai only one thing forgive me for my mistakes,Pls forgive me.The experience was like a hungry man getting abundant food,A drought ridden land is showered by heavy rain,A mother getting her lost child.I felt complete after getting this anubhav with the great lord sai.
As we had the darshan i came out and felt something bothering me.I again wanted to salute the great lord and decided to have a mukh darshan.l prayed to him from outside and uttered HELP ME.I only uttered HELP ME.I left shirdi with a good experience and promised to return back as soon as possible after my child's birth.
After returning back to my home the next day i was leaving for my office knowing that the day will not be the same as the previous past days,my mobile rang and to my suprise a purchase officer from reliance called me and wanted to know my fax number.I inquired the reason for it and he told that his manager has told him to fax a copy of the purchase order worth 8 Lakhs.I was spell bounded and completely overjoyed to know that the breakthrough has been achieved.I patted my own back for this success,when my wife reminded me that your efforts do count but sai has played a vital role in it.I then realized that the credit for this truly should go to sai and promised to visit shirdi for thanks giving.
From that day and today I have never looked back as sai is bestowing his blessings and i know he is with me always.
I am a complete changed man and now understand that bank balances are not that important and the balances kept by god for the good and bad deeds are important.I try to follow sai's teachings and make fullest of effort to follow them.
Be good to everybody,Have patience,Do not find monetory bliss because it leads to wrongful ways and ultimately loosing prestige.Help everybody in whatever way you can.Try to lead life for others.Never have negative ego.However big your status become in the human society,understand that you are in a lower hichercy of the lord.Achievments are bestowed upon by the lord as a prasad,try to force him to give you everything without asking by treading his preached path.Be kind towards all humans and animals.
I can keep on writing lot of things about life but feel of ending my story here....
Believe in god and he will help you.
Admirer of Lord Sai,
Nikhil