Question about Marriage....

[child_of_sai]

while praying about the delay/difficulty in marriage of some friends in the prayer section, one brother has joined by praying that he should not get married and stay celibate......he thinks that marriage is a trap of maya for us.....instead of asking just him about this doubt, i want to ask everybody this question......should a Sai devotee not get married??...what does Baba want from us in this regard... anupam ji and others, please write your views here  .....baba bless all...

Sai Ram.

[Admin]

I am sorry as “Chota Muh badi baat” but still I like to share

During the process of conception, the positive and the negative energies attach themselves to the human subtle body. The karmas and spiritual awareness comes along with it.  After the birth, these energies start influencing the person/ child. The influence of the positive energy is totally depend on the level of spirituality and the spiritual awareness. A person with high spiritual awareness starts realizing a different aspect of life. At such stage the person understands the true meaning of “Maya (the Great Illusion)”.  Lots of people around us are at the early realization stage, they truly understand and realize the effects of Maya but still they do not detach themselves from Maya (influence of the negative energy, past karma and level of spirituality and other parameters).  Only a few people are able to go beyond this realization stage and they start learning the super mysteries of the supreme power and the endless universe.
If someone is realizing (true realization) that marriage (not just marriage, it includes everything, life, family, money, career, food etc.) is trap of Maya then he should decide it himself whether he should get married or not. Those positive and negative energies automatically influence him to take a decision.     

Baba always wants HIS devotees to be happy (married or unmarried).   

Sai Ram

[child_of_sai]

dear brother Ravi ji, thank you so much for this wonderful response....you explained it very well.....by no means is that 'chota muh badi baat'.....only an elevated soul can write such thoughts .... i respect you a lot brother.....hope you didn't mind my somewhat direct posts recently.....i have come to love this forum very much...and its moderators also, including you ....please never mind my outspokenness......my friends regard that as my best, and at times, the worst trait. ... baba bless you....thanks for this lovely forum again.....

Sai Ram.

[Admin]

Sai Ram Sister

Often I find it hard to write on such topics and even if I try I find it difficult to explain my thoughts but in this case I must say I was forced to write despite having a busy day yesterday.

I am definitely not an elevated soul coz I can literally sense the powerful negative energy within me but I want thank you for your kind words.

Honesty I didnt mind your words so dont worry about it

May Sai bless all of us.

Jai Sai Ram

[rOhit beHaL]

SAIRAM,

I agree with the sai brothers view of being celibate to avoid Maya...as like him, i too share the same thoughts...I am 38yrs old now...not married..but let me differ to my own views and share what i have learnt down through these years into spirituality...


Marriage is not an obstacle to moksha or any spiritual dharma or else many Lords/Saints would yet be on this worldly plane trying to attain moksha,
First..the greatest yogi according to indian scriptures is Lord Shiva...who himself is married to Mata Parvati and has 2 kids- Lord Ganesha & Lord Kartikeye. So, the question about following Spirituality and avoiding your worldly duties does not arise at all. Even Lord Vishnu, Lord Krishna were married. Many other saints too led a happy married life together with their spiritual life. Lord Rama,King Janak all were too married.


You will have to comeback to fulfill any left over duties you were bound to complete.
Second, Now as one has to fulfill his duties & responsibilities for which he has taken birth, and if one avoids it or if for some reason fails to fulfill his present lifetimes mission...he will Definitely take a RE-BIRTH and come back to this world to complete his present and previous pending responsibilities...so one may avoid getting married, like myself but if i am bound to united with someone, i will definitely be united...if not in this lifetime..then the next for sure...now you tell me who wants to come back again and again to this world...& that even to get married ?


So as long as you enjoy everything without being bonded by it...the Karmic significance is nullified ...and you are not re-born for it nor can Maya touch you then.
Third, you cannot term marriage as Maya...as if so then all our relations are Maya too ! The food you eat, water you drink or the air you breathe is also all Maya then...now can you leave any of those to avoid Maya..., NO..you cannot right...so marriage is also a necessity , its one of the basics of life...You have to learn to live with Spirituality and the worldly Maya, hand in hand. Now how can one achieve that....its Simple...follow the doctrine of "NON-ATTACHMENT". You can live a luxurious life, Marry..go to discos etc etc but do it all without any attachment as attachments create Karmas for which one is Re-Born. Raja Janaka had all the luxuries in life, whcih he didnt abandon..but enjoyed every bit of it but yet remained non-atached. There are many such more examples of great saints who were married but yet Renunciates. 

So, if you see Baba everywhere and you know that Baba dwells in all and in all forms then how can you avoid anything in life...as then you will be avoiding Baba in some form or the other !!! Now that doesnt mean to adopt any or all vices in life as here the role of Discrimination arises...you have to discriminate as to what you consciousness guides you.

Thats why, in many indian scriptures they say that one should have 'VIVEKA" & " VAIRAGYA"...
thats Discrimination and Non-Attachment as explained above.

So my brother, sit calmly with a relaxed mind and go in touch with your deep consciousness and contemplate/discriminate what is right or wrong and then carry it on with Non-attachment.

CONTROL YOUR MIND WITH YOUR SOUL RATHER THAN YOURMIND CONTROLLING YOU WITH YOUR SOUL ITSELF !!!
By discriminate i mean...to draw a line between what your Maya driven "MIND" tells you & what your Soul driven "Consciousnees" guides you. As there is a very very thin subtle line between ones Mind and Consciousness..thats why people often get confused as to whats right and whats wrong leading to wrong decisions in life. (Like Me)..we often take our minds advice as the correct one as mind is driven by Maya and it makes us do whats good for it and not for us...if it finds comfort in vices ..it will make you dive into it and if it feels to enjoy freedom and not to be tied down in any restrictions ..it will make you a LONER under the garb of being a celibate or not getting along with others or Fault finding in others and then avoiding them....

I have so much more to say...my god...that if i do and if you do read all of it...your marriage age might be over by the time you understand what i am trying to say haha..so i am signing off now....let me know if anything else

Moral - PHYSICALLY ENJOY THE WORLD BUT CONSCIOUSLY BE A RENUNCIATE.



Sairam,


Regards ,
Rohit bEHAL

[rr_sai_bhakt]

Dear Rohit ji ...

Can you please put in all your thoughts on this topic ( since u have said 'I have so much more to say.') ...

Would be really interesting and quite a good learning to know your views on this topic ...

Om Sai Ram ...

[v2birit]

Om Sai Ram
   It is dependent on the level of evolution of a jiva. A person who has lots of Vairagya (dipassion) will not want to marry, since he is already disgusted with worldly life.
There are quotes from saints which speak against attachment to family life (the Woman-Children-Friends trap). Saints say that this trap hinders a Jiva's progress to eternal happiness. Bhagwat Purana also says that Lord Rama lived a married life & spent 12 years in forest, only to show the people, the hardship a person has to undergo, leading a married life.
    However if one can reduce the attachment to family & friends, while still staying in the family & society, it is ideal householder life.

Om Sai Ram 

[Anupam]

Ravi ji and Rohit ji have very succinantly put the things in perspective. Yes the positive and negetive aspects attach themselves at birth, it is also the impressions you have as a soul transverses the life.
I find marriage as a trap, and frankly I do not see ANY "successful OR happy" marriages. A Old saying goes; that Either a person chooses happiness or Marriage but but never both.
In fact, it is also leading to the burning of Vital energy at Mooladhara, so normally a Family person or Grihustha person can follow only Bhakti Marg. This is not to say that Bhakti Marg is any less than Jnana Marg, Yog Marg, etc.
Also, the Positive and Negetive aspects of the wife, children and others start having the effects in addition to the persons own Karmas and their effects, so actually the effects increases and intensifies, creating more roadblocks in the path, so double pincer is there.
In fact, a married people have also to follow a lot of rules as per the shastras to really have a happy life, which cannot or are not followed in Kaliyug, where everything is in reverse gear.
As for Lord Shiva and Lord Krishna or Lord Rama being married, yes they are but they are PARAM YOGIS AND THEIR MARRIAGE is to show the world how they can be detached in all attachments. More a depiction of the Feminine or Yin or Shaktis possesed by each, rather than what we consider as a eartly 'marriage". 

[child_of_sai]

...thanks for your excellent views rohit ji, anupam ji, rr-sai-bhakt ji, v2birit ji....i learn a lot here ...i'll suggest my unmarried friends to read this topic before they say "i do".....nicely said rohit ji ....

[rOhit beHaL]

This article is not in direct relation for marriage etc but have tried to put up my point of view as to how your past life karmas etc play a role in deciding it...

They Say That Once Someone`s Kundalini Awakens (By ones Sadhana & Shree Guru`s Grace) it makes the person attain Moksha within a span of 3 Lifetimes. Also, no matter how vigorous or deep sadhana one does its not necessary that he will attain moksha in this lifetime. As, also Saibaba said that the "Gurusthan" is the place where in his previous lifetime, he had done deep sadhana  for his Guru..thats why he was born as a fully realised being. Same way, Lord Rama, Krishna etc were either a direct incarnation of the almighty God or were re-born but attained Godliness due to their sadhana done in their past lifetimes.

It is also said that when one takes re-birth..he not only carries along his previous lifetimes Karmic account but also the level of Spiritual Sadhana done by him. And it is from this level of sadhana done by him in his past lifetime that does he start in this Lifetime...so whatever Spiritual sadhana one does in one lifetime never goes waste as in the next lifetime he will start off from where he had left...thats the reason why some people spiritually progress much faster and deeper than others if they are doing the sadhana with the same intensity.

The reason why i am mentioning all this is because..once you are start spiritually evolving...you start getting detached from the so called worldly world and then even if you get married also, you remain detached  which helps you to spiritually grow.

But, having no Attachment does not imply that one doesn't care for others...as if you do not care or hurt others affections, you will be creating a negative Karma for yourself. One should also not judge one`s life partner on the basis of Spirituality...I had a friend who got had a love marriage ...all was fine until he moved towards spirituality so deeply that he started moving away from his wife who also happened to be my friend. Gradually, a rift started coming in between them and finally after daily arguments they both separated finally. But now, the guy is happily married to someone else while the girl is not. So, the point is if he was moving into the right direction of spirituality then why did`nt his marriage succeed ? as he should have been able to discriminate between whats wrong and whats not. He used to consult me also...and i told him that Marriage is also a sacred dharma which has to followed by as much reverence as one does for spirituality...and once you are married yo just cannot avoid your duties as a house holder even under the pretext of spirituality...as that is equal to a committing a sin. Thats something different that ignorance might be bliss but then wrong done is wrong done as a negative karma is created what so ever. So, the only possible explanation for it could be that he their relation was destined only for that much period of time and the guy was bound to get married to another girl with whom he had a much stronger karmic balance to fulfill. So, irrespective of spirituality or not...ones Karmas play a much important role in deciding our future and also liberation i guess...thats why Gautam Buddha attained liberation after he got married as he might have had some karmic account to be settled with Yasodhara (his Wife) and Rahul (his Son) and only after his karmic account got balanced with them that destiny made him move on towards attaining nirvana.

Also. Lord Rama had not much karmic relations to balance with Devi Sita, thus most of the time they stayed in exile and then Sita was taken away by Ravana and when Lord Rama finally get her back...she left Lord Rama to stay alone etc etc...so even though Lord Rama was an incarnation of the lord himself he had to go through these tribulations and be separated from Devi Sita due to Karma itslef...so I think Karma Has a bigger role to play in ones life.

Many indian doctrines say to celibate for attaining moksha etc...but believe me who knows which category of people have actually got Moksha and which have not. There is no hard and fast rule and more so over...who knows how many Lifetimes has one been through ...and what all relations one might have created whose karmic balance too has to be erased to attain moksha. As the only way to Erase one karmic account ( Good or Bad ) is meditating...as by meditation alone Kundalini rises and as it moves towards the Sahasrara Chakra on the crown of the head it starts clearing up your previous lifetimes and present lifetimes karmas so that by the time the Kundalini reaches the Sahasrara Chakra , your karmas are nullified and then only can you attain Moksha not otherwise.

According to me only while you are alive you can attain Moksha not after your soul leaves your body as afterwards the only thing that happens is according to ones karmas..you go to heaven or hell etc but then eventually you do come back to this world itself to start all over again...so whatever Sadhana you do or what ever bhakti marg, gyan marg or any other method of devotion you choose for liberation...you will at the most reach the highest abode in the heavens but you will certainly be reborn...so meditation is the only way to attain liberation and that even while yo are alive...and if for any reason it is left in between...you will start off from that point itself in your next lifetime. Thats why Buddha attained nirvana in just 49 days while some saints have taken years...its all due to the amount of sadhana they might have done in their previous lifetime. But one thing is common all the saints who have attained liberation..you will see that all of them used to MEDITATE !!!




"Do not Hesitate,
Just Celebrate and Meditate,
your Fate - Rohit Behal