OM SRI SAI RAM
Mandy ji, Sai Ram
Firstly, I feel happy that you are able to feel bad that you are drinking too excess.
Secondly you are able to admit this in the Mandir to Baba.
Above all, you are saying that "Iam ashamed...' which means you are doing it though you don't like it.
First, calm down your mind. You wanted to have kids and felt once that you were unable to conceive. To my knowledge, smoking and drinking are also factors in conception.
What you need is calming down your mind taht you stop this totally.
This can be done only by Baba.
By the way, why did U stop coming to Mandir these days? Come here regularly and keep praying for yourself and others. Utilise your entire time only in some or the other work instead of brooding over things which are not worth of it. becoz, such mental status only makes you more prone for drinking etc.
Mine is only bookish knowledge and cinema knowledge; I may be wrong but, pl do something and stop all this at once.
I request all my brothers and sisters ( if any other sisters have this habit) to kinldy stop this and I pray Baba to help all those out of this unhealthy habit.
om sai