OM SAI RAM
February 1, 1912, Thursday
Shirdi
I was somewhat late in getting up but was able to finish my prayer &.in time to attend the Parmamrit class. The work was finished today & we shall begin to revise it tomorrow. I then went to the Masjid, sat with Sayin Maharaj & accompanied him out up to Sathe’s Wada. People assembled there as usual to salute him. I joined their group, saluted him and returning to Bapusaheb Jog’s quarters, commenced Panchadasi & explained the first ten verses which really contain the whole work in germinal form. Then I returned to my quarters wrote a few letters & had them sent off, and went to the Masjid to attend the mid-day Arti. It passed off all right. Mr Manekachand of Ahmednagar who has this year taken the degree of LL.B. came there & stayed here the whole day. We had our meals after we returned from the Arti. I sat reading Jnyaneshwari edited by Sakhrebwa.
Unfortunately, like the other editions, it does not solve all my difficulties. Later on Mr Dixit read Ramayan. Mr Sané Mamledar of Shirdi, and Mr Sathé, Dy Collector & Sub-divisional officer came & sat talking for sometime. We resumed our Ramayan after they went and in the evening went to the Masjid to meet Sayin Baba at his evening stroll. After the Wada Arti, we attended the Sheja- Arti, Bhishma did not have his Bhajan but read Sakharoru’s Prakrit Bagavat & at night Mr Dixit read Ramayan. Today evening when we assembled at the Masjid before Sayin Baba started on his stroll, Sayin Saheb told Mr Dixit to give two hundred Rupees to my wife who was there shampooing the legs of Sayinsaheb. This order was unaccountable. Has it come to this that I have to be maintained by charity!. I prefer death to this. Sayin Saheb I think wishes to curb & finally destroy my pride. So he is getting me used to poverty and the charity of others.**
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** I turned up the dairy for 1st February 1912 and read the passage indicated by you. It correctly represents my feelings. Our Sadguru Sayin Maharaj gave the order. Being omniscient, he knew everything including all my innermost thoughts and never insisted on the order being carried out. Now that my attention has been drawn to the matter it appears to me that my wife then did not like the life of labour and povery. Kaka Saheb Dikshit had accepted the life and was happy. So Sayin Maharaj asked him to give two hundred rupees. i.e., povery and patience to my life.
JAI SAI RAM