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Offline ShAivI

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Losing our temper
« on: December 26, 2014, 04:05:00 AM »
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  • OM SAI RAM!!!

    Losing our temper

    With all the stress and pressure in our lives, it is easy to lose our cool at the
    slightest irritation. While we are rushing home from work at the end of another
    exhausting day, we scream at the slow driver in front of us who apparently has
    all the time in the world. While we shop at the grocery store, we get annoyed
    with the stock clerk who sends us to the wrong aisle when we are in search of
    the ingredients for tonight’s special dish. And while we are eating our dinner,
    we yell at the telemarketer who has nerve to interrupt us in an attempt to sell
    us their latest wares.

    The problem with losing our temper on a daily basis is that it becomes a habit.
    And like most habits, a time arrives when it becomes a second nature. Personal
    relationships start unraveling, business partnerships begin to fall apart and your
    credibility decreases. Effective people are consistent and, in many ways, predictable.
    Keeping your cool in a moment of crisis can save you years of pain and anguish.
    Hurtful words unleashed in a single minute of anger have led to many a broken
    friendship or relationship. Words are like arrows: once released, they are impossible
    to retrieve. So choose yours with care.

    An excellent way to control temper is ‘‘Three Gate Test’’ as practiced by ancient sages.

    The ancient sages would only speak if the words they were about to utter
    passed three gates.

    At the first gate, they asked themselves, Are these words truthful?
    If so, the words could pass on to the second gate.

    At the second gate, the sages asked, Are these words necessary?
    If so, they would then pass on to the third gate,

    where they would ask, Are these words kind?
    If so, then only they leave their lips and be sent out into the world.

    Reflect on the beautiful Sufi story:

    A student wants to talk to his master.
    Just before he starts there is a misunderstanding between him and his wife.
    He is disturbed.

    In such a state he goes to his master’s place, kicks open the door,
    takes out his hat and throws it, takes out his shoes and throws them,
    full of anger. He then goes to the master and says – ‘‘Oh master! I want peace. I want joy.’’

    The master had been observing this student. He tells him,
    ‘‘First go to the door and apologize to the door for banging it.
    Go to the hat and apologize to the hat for throwing it.
    Go to your coat and apologize to the coat for treating it so roughly.
    And then come.
    I will talk of peace to you.’’

    When the student lovingly apologizes to all those objects and comes back
    to the master, that very love brings about a transformation in the student.
    He discovers peace in that state of love. A beautiful story! It shows that,
    even inanimate objects if handled with love and acceptance, contribute
    to our inner peace and joy.

    It is said, a mystic who went to each plant and flower and asked them how
    they could contribute to humanity, founded the Unani system of medicine.
    He literally begged every plant out of intuition. Thus, the whole system
    of Unani came into existence.

    Have you observed people eating? Most often eating is a war. Taking bath is a war.
    There is no love, no poetry. There is no dance and music. There is only war and noise.
    All because they have not accepted themselves with love. The moment you start
    accepting yourself with love, you even handle inert things with love and care,
    with a sense of total acceptance. You will then find there is so much of poetry,
    music, aliveness, celebration and dance in your life.


    JAI SAI RAM !!!


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