Dear all Sai Bhakts,
Here are my wonderful experiences with Sai Baba over the last few weeks.
I have been going through probably the toughest phase of my life since the last month or so. And as is Sai Baba's leela, he decides how and when a person turns to him for helping him get through his tough times.
On Saturday, i.e Feb 7th, i was contemplating on what sins i might have committed and decided to ask Baba for forgiveness. Instantly i recollected that I had been to Shirdi in Dec 2007 and had returned with quite a few packets of Udhi from there. But then i came home and carelessly put them somewhere and forgot about them. I also remembered that after a few months i had found those Udhi packets, but had again put them somewhere and had now forgotten where I had kept them the last time. I was not even sure if they were inside my house or not. I felt extremely bad for the disrespect that I had shown to Baba's favourite prasad, which is so revered by everyone...
Then yesterday morning, i.e Sunday Feb 8th and just some 14-16 hours after i had expressed my regret for the misplaced Udhi, my Mom came and sort of in a mildly scolding manner told me to clean my table. All mothers do that with their children, right, however old their children might become. But how many times do we take it seriously and clean our rooms. I do even not know the number of times i would have ignored my mom asking me to arrange the things on my table.
But yesterday morning, i do not know what happened. I quietly listened to my mom and started cleaning my table soon after she told me to. And just as i began to clean my table, to my greatest of surprises, i found all those Udhi pouches in a plastic cover, right on my table !
Can you believe it .. all these months those Udhi packets were on my table and i did not even know about them. Because i did not care about them. And the moment i expressed my deep and sincere regret for the disrespect i had shown to Baba and the Udhi and asked for Baba's forgiveness, i found them immediately !
Om Sai Ram ............. we look for god every where, but he is right there in front of us. All we need is to just look around with true faith !
But that was not all ...
Again yesteday, i.e Sunday afternoon, there was a movie on Shirdi Sai Baba on one of the channels... This same movie was shown to us by a taxi driver (in his taxi he had a VCD player), when we went Shirdi recently in October 2008 ..And we also liked the Taxi Driver because he was a great devotee of Shirdi Sai Baba ... and though he had seen this movie many many times before but he put it on for us specially .. But that was in Marathi and so we could not understand all the dialogues..... And this time, watching it in Hindi I could see the entire movie non-stop and understand the essence completely ..
So in a way, Baba was reminding me about my two trips to Shirdi so far .. and both on the same day, and just as I was remembering him so deeply ... I was thrilled.
But again, that was not all .... over the last few days i was also lamenting that i would not be able to go to Shirdi and pray to Baba when i needed to ... i.e since i am going through a very tough phase, i thought maybe if i go personally to Shirdi maybe Baba will bless me directly ..
Again, yesterday itself, in the evening, a close family friend of ours returned from Shirdi and they brought some prasad from Shirdi for us ! As i went to their house, they recollected the Kaakad Arati that they had attended in Shirdi in great detail, and to me it was as if I was there personally and visualizing the whole scene ...
And I also got Baba's prasad from Shirdi directly ..
So many wonderful experiences all in one day ...
So to me it was like Baba personally came down from Shirdi yesterday to meet me, it was like he was telling me - no need to come down to Shirdi, if you remember me truly i will only come down to you !
Or you can say that since I really expressed my desire to meet Baba, I virtually went to Shirdi and met Baba yesterday through all these expriences !!
Om Sai Ram !
But then all this was happening only because i had experienced some more leelas of Baba recently ....
I only read the Sai SatCharitra recently ... but about 2-3 weeks back, even before i had stared reading the Sai SatCharitra I had an experience ... when once i had thought of putting some money in the hundi in a Sai Baba temple near my house .. but had forgotten to do so ... And the next day, as i was going to office, at one of the signals, a person came asking for alms .. he looked like a fakir, something odd struck me .. i immediately gave him the amount i had intended to put into Baba's hundi the previous day .. And then after a few seconds i thought of looking back at the fakir, but i could not see him ... I take that road everyday .. i have not seen that fakir before and i have not seen him since..
At that time, my heart meant to tell me that Baba has his own ways of taking the Dakshina that was meant for him .. But then somehow my mind was not ready to think of it that way.. and thought it was a mere coincidence ..
And in the last few days when i started reading the Sai SatCharitra, and when i read the experiences of the Devotees in the Sai SatCharitra on how Baba took the Dakhsina from them in various ways, that they had meant to give to Baba but had forgotten to do so due to various reasons ...
It is a hair raising experience, when i think back about that fakir ... he just appeared at my car window and then just seemed to go away somewhere ....
Also recently, one day, all of a sudden i felt like giving up my favourite food .. so that Baba could test my faith and devotion and answer my prayers .. and then in Sai SatCharitra I read a particular incident (involving a Goa gentleman) where exactly the same thing had been prescribed ... It was all so mesmerizing ... I could hardly hold back my tears ....
But there is this one special incidence, i can never forget - the one where i wrote a last e-mail to someone, a few days before I fell onto the feet of Baba and requested him to help me to get through these tough times ... Specifically, this one incident makes me go numb when ever i recall it - In this last email to this person who is so special to me, i wrote a line saying - "Always have faith and patience that good things will happen" ...
I have never ever used that phrase, "Faith and Patience", before. Because i have never spoken that way before, and probably i did not think of using this phrase that day also .. it just came out as I typed the email .... and then a week or two later when i began reading about Sai Baba and discovering his leelas, I was struck numb to read about "Shraddha" and "Saburi" ... i.e Faith and Patience ... i just could not believe it ... and only i know how i have wept after that last correspondence, I knew it was all over and i was not sure how I will get through the tough, tough days ahead, because I thought I was alone and I was not sure I would be able to get through on my own ..
But I was not alone ...Sai Baba was right there ... even in that last email that I typed, as if blessing me and telling me not to worry ... and even after that day after asking me to have faith and patience in Him, everytime i have seemed to lose hope Baba has some how manifested Himself in so many ways through the various experiences that i have described above ...
Some how when i look back at the last 2-3 weeks, it has all been so surreal for me .. I used to think i am such a highly educated person, i believe in the scientific ways of things and not in miracles... but everything has been shattered ....
Om Sai Ram, how wonderfully you break the ego of the human being and show him the truth !
I know I have committed a lot of mistakes, broken a lot of hearts because of my own selfishness and my own insecurities... though i did not mean to harm others, i did inadvertently break a lot of people's trust ...
I know I have committed many sins .. maybe even in my previous births and thats why I have taken so many wrong decisions till date and always lead a life with unease in my mind.
So yes, i have to pay for all my Sins ... And I know, that in all probability my prayers will not be answered. I will have to suffer a lot more and maybe I deserve it.
But then I also know, now, that I am not alone on this tough journey ahead...
Sai Baba knows everything, all our past, present and future .. So even though he makes sure that I pay for what i must pay, I also have complete Faith and Devotion that he is UP there looking at me, and taking care of me, and seeing to it that I get through this tough phase .. He is helping me clear the sins of the past and making sure that my future births will be free of all past sins .. He is showing me the right path to be taken ahead ....
I know Baba, you are always there with me .... Please let me not lose my Faith in You and please let me have the Patience to wait for the good days to come ...
Who says there is no God?
Topic: DWARKAMAI's LEELAS(She is our Mother) (Read 423462 times)