OM SRI SAI RAM
Sumesh ji, Sai Ram
Firstly, tell me onething. Did you cry it out totally when U lost Ur dad ? If not, pl do that now sitting infront of your Dad’s photo. That will first make Ur heat lighter.
I can feel from Ur posts that your heart is very heavy and that has originated due to loss of your dear Dad. I think you are yet to be 25 and you are telling life has become mechanical which is not a healthy sign. Read good books. Start adding colour to your life by adapting some hobby. Mix up with friends. Go to baba’s temple (not all alone) along with other devotee friends.
You – as sumesh - are not going to Sai temple for telling him your sorrows. You are going there to seek happiness from Baba. First, when you go to Baba / when you see Baba, don’t start telling him your problems. This I am telling for U only. Beocz, this beomes like a revision of your past to your ownself from the pain of which you want to come out. Instead, search for that peace and happiness in the presence of Sai. As a start, you speak with Baba the same way you talk to your Dad sharing everything with him. I hope U got what I
mean.
There are NO chances that baba didnt like you ..or for that matter anyone…
He is the incarnation of Love. The word ‘dislike’ is not in his Dictionary. There is no need for any one to point out your mistakes since there are no mistakes. The only thing is you should come out of your present thinking. Baba’s presence NEVER disappears. You are not feeling his presence THAT’S ALL. You went into your shell and you need to open up. First go back to those days when you were a kid,about 6-7years. Now too,notice his eyes with curiosity.
The turmoil in the past few years has indeed NOT changed you in the least; you are not attempting to come out of it and thus got a feeling that Sai also dejected you.
Sai will never deject you - The oceans / seas may send the rivers back; the Sun may rise in the west and your own mother may disown you. Sai will NEVER deject any one.
“How can a person know that baba considered him as his devotee? in SSC i come across a person's experience:that baba didnt allow a foreigner to come and meet him and made him sit outside the masjid saying that 'Lord is not allowing me to do so'. Why is it so”? This was your doubt no.
When do we go to temple? When it is open OR whenever we want the temple to be open We go to temples and sometimes may wait for hours to get a glimpse of darshan of the God and believe heart and soul that that glimpse alone does wonders for us. If that is the case, how can one go and demand in an odd hour that the temple should be opened since he/she has no other time ?
Becoz, that foreigner wanted Baba to hurry thru his routine and make time for him, in response to his uncomparable ego (which is due to his official / financial position) he was denied of entry into Dwarakamai. What a selfishness? He actually came to baba for want of blessings that he gets children? Finally, he the foreigner was the looser. Causative is his ego, high headedness that too infront of the God.
Pl bid a good bye to Sorrows and invite a hearty welcome to Sai.
One of my dearest brothers has given me a golden quote.
Don’t tell sai how big your problem is
Tell the problem how big your sai is.
Pl make a small attempt from your side
If You walk one step towards Sai , Sai takes 10 steps towards you
Baba bless U always and be with you Sumesh ji.