om sai ram,
continuation...
I told Amit ji that “I was not in a mood to get up from that position but as every one came inside and trying to wake me, I got up.” Amit ji said “even I don’t want to disturb u but as your friend came out and told us. I came in. Not sure what would have happened if we wouldn’t have disturbed you.” Then Amit ji asked how my friend experienced. My friend told that it was pretty normal but felt much peace and couldn’t concentrate after seeing me like that. Meanwhile some one was trying to lock the temple. I suddenly told to Amit ji “No, don’t lock it. Baba is calling me. Yes baba is calling me.” Amit ji said “Ok fine. Go and talk to baba but be in control and let some one sit behind you so that they can hold you if you fell again.” I was not in a mood to listen all those things. I ran to the temple and there I noticed that some one was sitting in the back so that they can hold me if I fell. Later I went inside and again sat in front of baba and I forgot every thing. I don’t even remember that some one was sitting behind me. I started looking at baba and again the same felling that baba was not looking at me. I was praying to baba to forgive me and to look at me. I was continuously praying this. Then I felt like baba is crying and he is crying. If we look at baba with full concentration we can tell his emotions. In the same way I saw as if he is crying. As am constantly looking at baba murti I saw when baba was crying at one point he had tightly closed his eyes and for a second he looked at me. In a shock when I looked at him more clearly he was normal. Even now that particular second is in front of my eyes. I can never forget that moment. After that the murti was looking in a black color and for a second I saw Durga maata. I saw her in a total black color but I can identify her by looking at the glory of her face. One can’t have that glow other than durga maata. After that I saw like baba’s face was becoming black as if it’s burnt. I felt like baba was trying to tell me some thing. But I couldn’t understand. I was asking him “Aap kya kehna chahte hai mein samajh nahi paari baba (I am not able to understand what you are trying to say baba).” I was seeing normal baba for few seconds, then for few seconds as if he is crying, then durga maata, then dark spots on baba’s face. This happened for some time. Later I said “Ok baba. As am not able to understand you I will close my eyes and you tell me.” When I closed my eyes I felt more power in that temple. I felt as if baba is sitting in front of me and that too very near. I thought if I kept my eyes closed for some more time I will see some one here but I don’t know why I didn’t dare to face it and I opened my eyes. After that again I was seeing different emotions of baba as mentioned above. Until then I forgot the whole world, then my friend from outside was talking loudly which disturbed me. Then I thought “No No No. This is my hallucination. If you look continuously to any object you will observe different changes in that object.” Once this thought crossed my mind, to my surprise this time though I saw baba for long time. He is normal. I mean no changes in his face. Until then I felt that some power is there in that murti means baba is sitting there. After this thought the murty was looking normal to me and I felt like baba was telling me to turn my face slightly where all his posters are placed. Beside the murthy there are many photos of baba. Among them there is one photo of baba where he is sitting on a stone with right leg on left and wearing a white color dress. Then I felt like the power which I felt in the murty is now in that photo and baba is straightly looking at me and telling that “See now I am looking at you. Do you still think that its hallucination.” And I could see there only this photo and rest all background is balck and in this photo baba is in white color dress. So felt like the photo is zoomed. Then suddenly baba said “ok now see here. Am here.” And I turned to my left and saw there was a medium size calendar with baba photo. Again the power which I felt initially in the murty and then in the other photo, was felt again one more time in this calendar photo also. Its like now baba is there. After that, baba said “Ok now turn back. Amit ji is also there.” And when I turned back, to my surprise Amit ji was there. I truthfully don’t know that Amit ji was there because when I sat in temple there was another person and amit ji was talking to my friend. Later I have no idea who is coming and going. I was totally unaware of this. So I was in a shock looking at amit ji. Amit ji asked me what happened. I pointed my hand to the calendar photo of baba and said baba is here. Then Amit ji told, yes baba is every where. With this I came to normal sense. Amit ji asked “baba se baatein karli. Ab chale baba ab sojayenge (spoke to baba? Now lets go. Its time for baba to sleep).”
We bowed to baba and came out from the temple and it was around 10.30PM. By this time the dinner was ready. And amit ji asked us to have dinner first and will talk in meanwhile. Lunch was so tasty that I ate fully and in the evening again they gave Prasad to us. So I was not hungry but I could not object them. So we started our dinner and meanwhile I explained every thing to Amit ji what I saw in the temple.
After listening to me Amit ji told that “Baba has cried for you. And baba was trying to tell you some thing but didn’t tell you because you lack few things like Strength and Stability of mind. That’s why you saw Durga maata because goddess represents shakti, power, strength. And as your telling you saw in black color she might be kaali maata. You don’t have a stability of mind and you have never done any thing for baba. Till now what ever u did is only for u. just think once what did u do for baba. When you will overcome these things u will be able to understand what baba is trying to tell u.”
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! I don’t have any thing to say and its absolutely true that my mind is not stable and I have not done any thing for others or baba. After our dinner they offered sweet (Rasgula) to us. I told Amit ji that I won’t eat sweet. Amit ji asked me the reason. I said “Mein ne baba se kaha hai ki jab tak aap ka darshan nahi hoga mein sweet nahi khaoongi (I won’t eat sweets till I get u’r darshan baba).” Generally, I am very fond of sweets . Amit ji told “Ab tumhe baba ka darshan ho gaya na (Now u had baba darshan)”. True. I had baba blissful darshan. So I ate sweet. They didn’t offer us sweet in the lunch but in the dinner they do. I think this is also our sweet baba’s leela. After his darshan he has given me sweet.
continued......
om sai ram om sai ram...
Topic: Shibpur sai baba temple (Read 247807 times)