OM SAI RAM
Dear Shiveshvar
Had read your update yesterday, but didnt feel like replying. But overnight, I kept thinking how to comfort you.
Now that I am writing, i cant find comforting words. Sorry.
Still request you to please read on.
I spent 2 years just like you. I visited temple, during morning aartis once a week, and everytime tears would just roll out. Nobody to comfort, no one i could talk to. Everytime Baba would tell me Shraddha Saburi.
I realized that I have to do that, but I didnt know how to calm my mind. I started reading SSC, drinking water mixed with Udi, keep saying SAI SAI all the time, etc. etc. etc.
Yet my mind could just not deviate. But I decided that I will ask Baba to give me something which he can give instantly. I kept begging him for peace of mind first. And he did. I met an uncle in the temple, who had seen me quite often, seating all alone and crying in front of Baba. Many had seen me like that, but only this uncle came forth to help me. since then he has guided me thru this ordeal, and today I am ready to accept whatever Baba decides for me. yes I will feel the pinch if it is not in my favor, but then I know that Baba will be there with me to pull me thru.
Remember, you should never beg for LOVE and RESPECT. You should command them.
Look at you, you are literally begging. Don’t do that, please.
Whether you like it or not, there is only 1 person right now, who is equally unhappy and troubled as you……and that person is not Nisha, not your parents,
Its our Baba. He is equally troubled, cause he is reaching out but you are not seeing him, cause you only want to see Nisha. He is comforting you and loving, but you cant feel it cause you want to feel it from Nisha. Nisha is hurting you and you are hurting Baba.
Nisha is not with you even after hurting you …………but
Baba is still there no matter how much you are hurting Him.
Stop chasing her, because all she is making you do is keep running.
Instead chase Baba, and see how your life changes.
I can clearly see Baba running behind you and crying out to you, “My child, please stop.
Please only concentrate all your thoughts on me. Keep me at the centre of your world.
Now that you have come to me, everything will fall in place. But first you have to trust me, that whatever I will do will be for your good. And then you will see, how far I can take you.”
My honest suggestions:
1) With your closed eyes and SSC in your hand, medidate on Baba and ask him whatever question you want. Then with closed eyes open any page of the SSC. Now read both the left hand side and right hand side of the page. You will find your answer in there.
2) Instead of torturing yourself, just pick up the phone, call her and tell her you wanna talk to her. Maintain your composure and command, and ask her what she wants. Don’t ask her why she is doing this, cause this land of free will.Once you get your answer, just hang up without any other word.
Cry your heart out and make a resolve to not drown yourself in this mess again and again. Baba be with you …………..always.
Lemme know how it goes.
Till then…….Keep Praying!!!
Topic: will babaji accept me (Read 30140 times)