will babaji accept me

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai Ram
thnx shanu for suggesting..shanu i hav cried my eyes out..i hv prayedwith watever conviction i got..i hav tried watever it takes to make things work..butin d end cant fight my own past karma's..cant change wat i did previously..so no matter how much i try, its not going to work..howver only thing m left with is this life..hav to live it..and dont misunderstand me by saying i hav left prayin..i haven't..i do pray and wud alwaz pray...but i m not gonna ask for anything..coz mere chahane se kuch nahi hota..to phir chahana hi kyun..jo milna hoga mil jaega aur jo nahi milna hoga wo chahe kitna pe effort karun nahi milega...to i hv left thinkin wat i want..i dont want anything...just tryin to be numb to this world..tryin not to be hapy or sad..tryin to do away wid emotions...nobody cares for emotions and they bring pain in d end..i hv left everything wid babaji..take away watever u want ..giv me watever u want..its ur wish..i just hav to complete my life somehow!i wil live it d way babaji makes it for me..i just want to be numb to every emotion in this world

[shanu jain]

om sia ram shiveshwar ji..........

may i ask u something. jo bhi hua no doubt apki wil k agnst h. par is sbse ap negative ku ho rhe ho. emotions se dur rahoge to life apni nhi lagegi. y u r thinkin dis is d limit. jo bhi hua usme apka apna loss socho to emotions ne disturb kiya apko. baki kuch bhi nahin. apke pas jo pehle tha wo sab kuch ab bhi h. khushi nhi h. par wo apke dhundne ki der hai. try to search for the positiv things around u. positiv words people. motivational stuff. n do one thing jab time mile apne as pas kisi aise ko dhundo jo pareshan ho. usse pucho wo ku ro raha h. use suno samjho. koshish karo use heal karne ki. ye ek aisa way h jisme ap feel kroge ki ap uski pain ko feel kr rhe ho. jab use samjhaoge to khud k liy bhi ans milege. actual me ap use nhi khud ko comfort de rhe hoge. try dis. aur kuch nahi to kisi chote bache ko ek begar ko hi chahe ek chocolat lekar do ya koi aisi chez jiski use wish ho par puri na ho rhi ho. uske face pe jo khushi hogi na use acept krte hue usse jada khushi apke dil me hogi is satisfactn se ki apne kisi ko khushi di. ye sach h. main apko samjhati hu kuch b. to pata nhi apko kitni help milti h. par is sbse muje khud ko hi ek view milta h. ek peace milti h. lagta h jaise muje khushi nhi h par meri waja se kisi aur ko mil jaye to. its gr8 feeln. ek bar try krna. kisi ko khushi dene me khud se na chahte hue b apko khushi milegi. try 2 live like bas aaj hi jeena hai. kal suba ka pata nhi ho ya nahin. to aj hi mein max jee lo. kuch aisa kar lo jo apko satisfactn de. n try to think positiv. positiv atitud itself is a healer.
sai bles u.

om sai ram..

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai Ram
hey shanu so rightly said dat it gives great satisfaction to giv sm one a reason to smile..infact i m tryin to bring smile to others even at my own doscomfort..coz it really is sucha noble thing to do...and i really think i wud keep doin dat..but then i m not expecting anything in return ..not even peace for my self..i just dont wanna ask for nething nor do i want to desire anything...look i am a very emotionl guy.. i was so madly in love with her dat i wud hav thrown away my life widout a second thought for her if she wud hv asked for it...those were my emotions which were so badly mocked..now i dont wanna risk myself being mocked again...i really think imust hav done some serious sins in my last birth tht i hav to go through all dis..and not even sai baba can change my past...
i went to shirdi because babaji said tht " jo koi dwarkamai ki stairs chadhega uske sab dukh dur ho jaenge"..i hv been there and to my knowledge, hv returned empty handed..but i dont blame others for dis..my own karma's are to b blamed.... i no longer contemplete sucide..but i hv no emotions left eith it either..i m just living..if breathing is wat we mean by living thn i wud live this life..would keep chanting babaji's name and b numb..dats it...nisha didnt care even if i cry..now it seems like dat even babaji didnt see my tears..so i wont shed any..i begger her, and she was indifferent..i begged to baabji..even he seemed to b indifferent..so guess its my own fault..nothing to b blamed on babaji... i hav to face the heat and noone can heal it..so let it be...

[shanu jain]

om sia ram shiveshwar ji..
aap acha kijiye kisne kaha kuch mango in return. wo to peace aur smiles apko khud se milti jayegi. u wil change sooner or later. time is bigest thing. hum khud suba se sham tak khali baithne k bad sochte hain kafi der ho gai ab kuch karna chaiy. its time only wich is asking u to change. nothing is static. and who said u have returned empty handed. its dere in ur mind kuki jo apne chaha ta wo nhi mila. but surely kuch mila h apko i can c dat wid u. aap apne abhi tak ke posts padhiye isi topic k under. kitni pain thi starting ke posts me aur at present ek relief hai. aur apke sins hain ya kisi ke naye karma only sai knows. its is sai's job to think who is comiting sins and who is performing gud deeds. wats next. al is sai's job. ap ku soch rahe ho. ap bhi unhi ke child ho. wo sochege apke liye kya sahi hai kya galat. ek kam kijiye apne bare me sochna chod do. socho nahi apko kya mil raha hai. socho nahi ap khush ho ya dukhi. ek schedule banao apna. usme kuch add karo aisi cheze jo pehle kabhi nahin kiya. like try new things. adventure ya naya kuch bhi apne taste se hatke. like soft music pasand hai to rock music try karo. agar blue color pasand hai to red color pehno. aise shows dekho tv pe jo kabhi nahi dekhe ho. jo purani life thi jo cheze pasand ti une standby mode me daal do. apna viewpt badlo. jis jaga pe baithna sabse jada pasand ta us jaga ko ignore mar do. aur jab kuch bhi samaj na aye to head phones laga ke hanuman chalisa ya kuch bhi aisa spiritual content jiska meaning clear ho apko pictures k sath use eyes close karke suno. believe me. wo 10 min ka chalisa bhi apko ek ghante tak ek aisi state dega ki aap khud se hi nahi chahte hoge kuch karna. dekho samjha bahut log sakte hain apko. mere jaise lakhon log kuch na kuch apko samjha dege. sai bhi apki help kar rahe hain apke andar se awaz ati hogi ab smile ya ye karoo ye acha h etc. its only sai. par wil power apki chy kuki change apko hona h. dunia ki taraf dekho sab apne me mast h kisi ko fark nhi padta ap kaise ho ku ho. agar ap pareshan ho to ho skta hai 10 min apko dekhe b soche b. uske bad sabhi apni lif me chale jate h. raat ko sote waqt apke apne bhi unconscious state me chale jate h. its only u who is feeling d pain par kisliye? isliy aur kuch nhi socho bas ek koshish karo ek aim dalo khud ko is sabse dur karne ka. eforts apko hi karne padege koi kuch bhi kahe fark apko nhi lgta jab tak sab waste h. isliy try to do things at ur own. try to gain motivation from ur iner self. sabse jada ap khud k sath rehte ho koi dusra nhi. isliy sabse acha companion to apme khud hi hai. aur apni life ka aim hai jo b career wise ya jaise b jo b socha ho kbi use achieve karne k liy eforts kijiy. i hope u wil soon find a new vista.

sai bles u...............
om sia ram..

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai Ram
haan shanu..i wud try to change everything arnd me..let it b d place, colours or taste...its the toughest phase of my life and i already feel d change in me...i really wantedto to b d same old shivi who was happy with nisha..but since babaji ke mann mein kuch aur hai, i will change...

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai Ram
i dont know wat to write...cant think anymore...i guess its all ordained..its all preplanned...why can't i feel d presence of babaji arnd me? can u hear  me my lord!

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai Ram
yeah i hv downloaded it aabhu n m listening to it rite now.. n why do u say ki dont mind..come on.. i know u all r just giving ur shot to heal my pain.infact m grateful to u all for giving me ur precious time..i think god has really high hopes from me dats y m being put b4 such a dark phase but i guess he, for d first time, is wrong. coz m not strong enuf....in last four months i saw every dream of mine crashing down..i saw every hope of mine going down..i saw every smile in me withering away..i literally saw myself dying in each n every sec...wat i was four months back is completely gone..itfeels like i hav lost previous 24 years f my life..but i dont hv d advantage of starting frm scratch..coz i hv memories....but why m i talkin abt all dis..no point..hmm..yeah i m listening to SSC and wud keepdoin dat..

[Anupam]

Sairam Shiveshvarji
Though not wanting to interupt your feelings kindly read what revealed scriptures, and specially Shree Guru Charitra says about suicide. The misery is not reduced but increases manifold as the mind does not die, but the soul is trapped in hell for a thousand years as suicide is counted as a sin greater than a massacre, so this step only increases the misery and helplessness a million times
Feeling Our Great Baba is very easy. Just look in his eyes everyday for some time and he will reduce all your miseries
Sorry but  be tough as life has lots of ups and downs. Objectively it is nothing but your mind which is playing havoc because you allow it to do
Om Sai Ram

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai Ram
u know aabhu, i really connect to wat u say...and infact i feel for u as well...u r really a very strong gal.. i mean ur wait has been way longer than mine...and wat a commendable faith in babaji! m amazed..i just hope and pray to babaji ki let all ur wishes come true...let tomorrow b d day of great surprises for u..i just pray for u dear...
hmm...its been such a long night for me tht i hv forgotten wat its like to welcome morning light..nonetheless now i dont desire any...but i really wud pray to babaji to giv u wat u hav wanted for so long..! may ur patience is well rewarded and let it be tomorrow only...
its been gud to read u guyz and rply to u...u hv helped me a lot..though no1 can change my destiny, yet u all tried to comfort me..thnx guyz..i owe a lot to u all..

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai Ram
Dear anupam its gud to hear frm u..hey i m no longer thinkin abt sucide..infact now i hav left everythnig on babaji...let him treat me d way he wants to..and as far as lookin towards babaji is concerned, i guess i looked in  babaji's eyes every possible manner known to me...with tears in eyes, with a heavy heart, with a thankful heart, with devotion ( watever i got)..but really culdnt feel d presence..but obviously somewhere it must hav been my fault...u all say u feel d presence...its only my case where i dont feel d presence of babaji..so problem is obviously with me...probably its not right time for me to feel his presence...so m just waitin n prayin..hopefully one day babaji wud look towards me also..i would also b blessed like u all guyz..till then m chanting his name with watever conviction, faith patience i got...

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai Ram
dear Aabhu, ur prayers r heard and wud b answered..but i agree with u till the tme we meet our beloved again, memories wud haunt every passing minute...may babaji relieve u from this pain and bring smile back on ur face..tk cr ..om sai ram

[shanu jain]

om sai ram shiveshwar ji.........

ek bat ka ans karoge kitne log kitna kuch keh rahe hain apko abhi tak bore nahin hue?? wel jokes apart. apne kabhi laughter shows dekhe hain usme kitne sahi se maried unmaried kitne relations pe kaise jokes karte hain comedians. kabhi dekhna wo just mazak nhi usme teachings hain ki world me aisa sab bhi hota hai. ek maried person extra afair karta hai aur bad me kehta h i was in love. ha ha. dekha ye bhi to pyar tha uska. kuch log jaise aap ho purely heart se sochte hain to une ye sab acha nhi lgta kuki wo pure soul hain. aap bhul chuke ho ki apme ek acha insan exist karta h. ab ye ques mat karna fir mere sath hi aisa ku hua. ya muje acha nhi hona etc. jo bhi hota hai use hum sab ek hi bar mein sab samajh jayege agar to param gyani ho jayege na. par abhi apko bahut kuch sekhna hai. spiritual buks padho usse samaj ayegi un ques ki b jo apke andar hain par ans nhi milta. like mere sath hi kyun hua aisa etc. soul alone hai hamesha earth pe use sirf sai complete kar sakte hain. baki kisi bhi chez ki existence nhi h. abhi ye sab apko lecture lagega. par think beyond ur tears. beyond negativities. try to search a positive indication. pehle apko life jannat lagti thi na. sab kuch nature world abhi bhi aisa hai par apne ek reason se apni nazre fer li hai. par kyun kiske liye? eforts karo utho ku khud ko punish karna. have faith in sai. tuti hui zindagi nhi utho auron ko bhi kuch sekhao samjhao. life waste nhi krni aise. make sai proud he has chosen u for an imp task. search that. perform ur duties. and ladke vaise bhi rote hue ache nhi lgte i think.. ha ha.. dont mind anything. fine aur kuch nahin to jab we met dekh lo.. ho sake to apne andar geet ko le aao. life wil b awesome...................

sai bles u alwaz..
om sia ram..

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai ram
hey shanu...u know dat evn god had to suffer wen he came on earth..let it be lord Ram where he had to stay away from maa Sita for so long..aur Krishna...infact d immortal love of Radha n krishna was imcomplete in earthly sense...yeah there is a lot to learn..as i hv already decided and hav already written in some on my previous replies that now i no longer ask nethin frm babaji..i wud never ask for nethin..if he is fine to see me like this den i wont ask for newthin..waise bhi as i hv already said ki mere chahane se kya hota hai..but i m having a very bad tast f life right now and nothing seems interesting..and it looks more like devdaas n less like jab we met..had it been few dayz bak..i wud hav wished it to be love aaj kal..but being realistic as of today, its going to be a cast away and tom hanks sort f life...its bit out of d topic but to b honest, u knowwatever baabji said dat how we shud believe and worship him..i used to have same feelings for her..full devotion faith love care ...dats y its been sucha difficult phase for me to accept her departure....but i wont seek mercy ne further...i hv to repay my sins...

[Kirti1]

OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar

Quote----------
and it looks more like devdaas n less like jab we met..had it been few dayz bak..i wud hav wished it to be love aaj kal..but being realistic as of today, its going to be a cast away and tom hanks sort f life..
------------------UNquote. LOL

I like this attitude of yours. See you still have your sense of humour intact, this is really nice.Use it more and more. The more you laugh on this phase and yourself more easier it will be for you to accept it. Of course it cannot ever eliminate the love you have for her. First Love is always forever, no matter how many beautiful people we meet afterwards.
Hats off to you.

But always keep thanking Baba for what he has given you. Good or Bad. The fact is, things could have been worse, but for him.So thank him that he stopped it at where it is.
He stood true to his words, ever since you have come from Shirdi, you are a changed person. And the more you pray all the more he will lead you in the correct direction.

We are humans, with extremely limited knowledge about anything at all. But if you retrospect your life from childhood till now, and analyze then you will see that things have fallen in place to complete the puzzle of your life. And the same will keep happening in future.It's ok if you are numb but keep praying to Baba. Never leave him.

Even negative attitude towards God is most humbly accepted by Him.

Look at Ravan, there was no comparison for his devotion to Shankar. But look at the way his mind worked on Him and he became a demon.
Look at Kans, Duryodhana, etc.

There are 2 beautiful things which  unites all these Demons, 1st is they all were in search of God. For killer intentions of course. But that was also respected by God. 2nd is that God himself had to come down to eliminate them

The point I want to make here is always look at as many positives of any problem or such situation. It will greatly help you in solving and overcoming hurdles.

good luck my friend.....and keep up your sense of humour.

Till then...Keep Praying!!!

[shanu jain]

Om Sai ram
hey shanu...u know dat evn god had to suffer wen he came on earth..let it be lord Ram where he had to stay away from maa Sita for so long..aur Krishna...infact d immortal love of Radha n krishna was imcomplete in earthly sense...yeah there is a lot to learn..as i hv already decided and hav already written in some on my previous replies that now i no longer ask nethin frm babaji..i wud never ask for nethin..if he is fine to see me like this den i wont ask for newthin..waise bhi as i hv already said ki mere chahane se kya hota hai..but i m having a very bad tast f life right now and nothing seems interesting..and it looks more like devdaas n less like jab we met..had it been few dayz bak..i wud hav wished it to be love aaj kal..but being realistic as of today, its going to be a cast away and tom hanks sort f life...its bit out of d topic but to b honest, u knowwatever baabji said dat how we shud believe and worship him..i used to have same feelings for her..full devotion faith love care ...dats y its been sucha difficult phase for me to accept her departure....but i wont seek mercy ne further...i hv to repay my sins...

om sai ram shiveshwar ji.......

fine devdas jaise jee kar bhi dekh lo.. ultimately kya hona hai.. agar she is dere in ur destiny she wil b bak. par d ques is til den kya? apne as pas dekho 99%people r in love n among dem hardly 1% r living fine life. wat abt d rest of dem. yehi hai kahin koi cheat kar raha hai kahin family acept nhi krti. kuch bhi kar lo ultimately wahi hona h jo hona hai. is sabme ap kahan alag ho kisi se bhi. khud ki pehchan banao. dm me hi dekh lo sai baba help me ke under almost sabhi yehi keh rahe hain muje ye chaiy muje wo chy. ap b yehi keh rhe ho. aur usme b negative hote ja rhe ho ye sochkar ki meri galtiya h muje chukana padega etc. is sabme kya mil raha hai. apne as pas dekho jane kon kiska kab se wait kr raha hai. par is sabi me ek fact hai pata hai kya jo hamare last birth k karma hain wo hamein filhal pain de rahe hian. bas yehi sach hai isme kuch baki sach nhi h ye to ek reason hai ki apko ye pain kisi k departure se mil rahi h. aur is sabse bahar b nikla ja skta hai agar khud chahoge to. sabhi kehte hian mai uske liy jee raha hun muje uski khushi chy etc. par sach ye hai sabi khud khush rehna chahte hain khhud ko peace chahiy. par koi bhi is sach ko acept nhi krta. jo kar leta hai wo uske liy pray karta hai par apni lif ko hell nhi bnata. aur sabse bekar to ajkal ye chez hai ki human ko mind to mila hai fir bhi wo apne as pas dil se jada dekhta hai aur mind ka use hi khatam kar deta hai. like love hone pe use feeling ati hai ki tum jo aye to bat ban gayi. aur fir uske departure pe use tere nam hona hai. is sbse kuch nhi milta dear. apni duties puri karo wo kam karo jiske liy birth mila hai. aap step lo khud ki taraf. khud se ku bhagna. jab pray karte ho to apne liye peace mango dhundo. aur kucvh nahin. last birth me bhi jane kisse love hua hoga kisse mariage hui hogi. ab next me bhi jane kon ayega. love kitne time tak zinda raha fir? kuch saal bas. aisi shortlived chez k liy kya pagal hona. achi chezo k liy maniac hokar dekho. sai nam ki dhun me khokar dekho. wo to vaise bhi ek aisa rasta hai jispe jane k bad apko love hi milega for sure. aj k time me to kisi chez ki bhi guranate nhi aur yaha to 4ever ki guarante warante sab hai. fir achi chez chuno apne liy. think in peace ki jo main kar raha hun uska outcome kya hai. kya isse main sach me koi gain kar raha hun ya aise hi los me hun. apne apko dekho mai kya kar raha hun kyu kar raha hun. pain to jitna sochoge mil raha hai us soch se hi badhta jayega. khud ko chalange kro kuch bhi ho jay mujpe fark nhi pdega. may sai bles u soon.............

om sai ram..