will babaji accept me

[shiveshwar]

om sai
my name is shiveshwar. i had 5 year long distace relationship. but all of a sdden, ast november, my love left me without any reason. she says she has no emotions left for anyone and she is just void. i am clueless as to what happened. i cried my eyes out before babaji asking babaji to take anything away from me but just give me her love. but it seems like my previous biirth karma are so bad that even sai baba cant allow me to escape this pain. so i hav decided 15th march to be the date when i would die beacuse i promised her that nisha i will not live without you. though she failed to keep her promise i would. i would die with babaji's name in my mouth. i know death is not a solution but cant bear the pain of her ging away from me. probably my death is the only way out of this pain. will babaji accept my death. i am sorry babaji i couldn't be storng enough to stand form and have courage t live this ife without her. i had accepted her as my wife and without her i just cant live.


~~~Since we consider  this forum as our Sai temple just felt like editing the subject line.
Hope you don't mind Shiveshwar ji. Thank you. Baba bless you.
SaiRam

[shiveshwar]

om sai
thanks for suggestion Aabhu...felt bad for your situation as well..may babaji take away all ur sorrows..i pray to babaji take anything away form anyone but just dont take their love away from them..i really dont know what else i can do to get her..thats why i hv given myself, sai baba and destiny the time to give me back my love or else i wanna give up all other relations, this life and the pain that she is not longer with me..your words r really caring and supportive but i guess nothing can heal my wounds but her presence..infact my patience is just lossing out..hopefully i wont see tomorrow's light...u might b d last person i m interacting with...

[bhakta9]

If you truely consider yourself a Sai bhakth that great that you will die with Baba's name in your mouth then you are fooling yourself. Sai baba is about faith and patience and Saburi ka koi deadline nahi hota.

If your faith on baba is so weak then why take his name? why make a mockery out of yourself and him?

We all go through heart breaks... I was involved with some one for over 5 years and it turns out my dear was already engaged to a some one without my knowledge.. So am I dead? did I forsake baba and say chalo I am dying? NO... I cryied but then finally accepted Baba's decision is the best for me. today he has gifted me a life partner that is truly lovely and my old love could never be this fantastic..

When you call yourslef a Sai bhakth live up to his teaching. A bhakth is not one who just prays but lives the teachings of the guru. Our guru says to surrender to him. It is just ego tht we go out and think we are smarter...

My dear man... I urge you to take a deeper look at life. Life is not just about girlfriend and love.. It is about devotion, surrender and living the teachings of the guru...

If you want Baba to be your guru you have to love him unconditionally and believe all that happens in yor life is his doing including this one. I pray that you do well really well in all sphere sof your life that one day you look back at this say..."Thank god I never did that stupid action"

[drashta]

Om Sai Baba.

Dear Shiveshwar ji,

I can understand the intensity of your pain. But, I want to tell you that cowards commit suicide. One spoils this birth as well as countless other lives by killing oneself. You have no right to take away the life that Baba has given you. That too for an impermanent and ever-changing human relationship. You must live and bear the pain with courage. That is how your karmic dues will be cleared. Let me also add that no person is worth such a sacrifice. After failed love affairs, wise people move on. They do not get stuck in the rut in which someone dumped them. After the mourning period is over, you will also move on. That is my strong belief borne out of my personal experience. You will find meaning to your existence, with or without human love. I pray to Baba to give you strength and courage through this testing period.

Jai Jai Baba.

[vibhusharma]

I will agree with Bhakta, and wud say dat same thing happened with me, and my life partner is far better than my ex lover.

today, i thank n thank baba for His grace, i had to bear that pain coz Baba wanted to give me something better.So trust  Baba and His teachings.

In Sai Charitra one person wanted to commit sucide but Sai stopped him by telling a story of Akkalkot G Maharaj thru some medium.  Life is beautiful and keep trust in Sai's teachings. Further its Dwaraka Mai which takes its debt from persons which u will have to give but same time Sai will take care of you as well.

[shiveshwar]

om sai
thank you all for the replies..really insightfull. but do u think its about better or about whom u love. i m fully aware that dying is not the solution and i would be letting down everyone including sai baba. in fact what she has done to me, i have every reason to hate her. but i cant. wish i could have such love for almighty. but guyz i m no saint no meera and no shabri. i am just mere mortal. m human beiing. Even if somehow i change my mind, i wont and cant forget her. i dont want to. agar sai baba hamare pita hain aur mein unka bccha, kya wo ye zid puri nahi karenge. what would make his heart melt.? i know discipline and rightous things only, will be given by almighty. par kya bacche ki ye zid wo puri nahi karenge? if its all about "bhaavna- feelings" then i had accepted her as my wife. how can sai let my soulmate depart?when we were together, e used to lite deep before sai baba everyday. i looked at sai baba and accepted her as my wife. doesnt that count as marriage? i am in fifth year of my law school and in next april we were going to get married. her place can not be taken by anyone. not even by a far better girl. becoz i m already married to her. babaji ek zid puri kar do, ye bacha kabhi aur zid nahi karega...i give u my word that this would be my last demand...come what may i would never ever ask for anything else..just give me my nisha back

[vibhusharma]

Sorry to say so but u r not a Sai Bhakt. u r giving deadlines to Sai.......which is a mere childish thing. She was ur wife or girlfriend but today reality is something else. If she is ur destiny u will get her otherwise something better will happen.

One more guidance from an elder, love life....life loves those who loves it and spend it appropriately.

sucide is a easy wayout but fight with circumstances is harder.

Second, right now due to dat girl u are unable to see and value d love of ur near and dear one. den how cud u expect love from dat girl...she may b doing d same thing.

Sai ka ghar bohat bada hai waha se koi khali hath nahi jata.

i read on Temple wall :- Maine jo manga Sai se usne mujhe wo na diya, mujhe jis cheez ki jarurat thi Sai ne mujhe wo dia.

May Sai give you some Sadbushi!!!!

[bhakta9]

I urge you to move on with life. Would you want nisha back if she really did not love you anymore? Can you live with a woman who has a void and no feelings for you? IF you say yes now, thats because you have not lived with some one who is indifferent... You are a law student educated and smart.. put your head to this one my dear... use some imagination and see if you will be happy...

Lets say baba gives you Nisha and then things don't work out between you two.. Will you not tell baba then .. "You were my guru why did you not save me?" A mother gives her child bitter medicines to cure him... This is your bitter medicine...  Baba does only one thing.. Save his devotees not deprive them of what is good for them.. REMEMBER THIS!

So, this is my advice as some one who has lived through heartbreak so bad that I left the country to get over it... and I did get over it...

If you want to be a child and ask baba for some thing then ask for his love and grace.. without that no child can be happy even if he had the woman of his dreams or the wealth for asking...

Give yourself time, pray, meditate, go to temple and above all focus on studying... See how Baba changes your mind and life for the better...

[Kirti1]

OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshwar,

DO you think, by committing suicide, you are ending this matter once and for all?

Then, everyone in this world who has loved and is heart broken should do it.
Love is not about possessing someone. It is about giving them up but keeping the light of love burning for them.
Love is about sacrifice. What will make you happier: 1) Seeing Nisha unhappy, sad but with you or
2) Happy and joyful, with whoever she is. Find the answer to that.
Love is not about self. Love is about giving.. Love is a journey. Love has only 1 fruit, Love.

Yes, we all want to spend the life with our loved ones. But at what cost? cost of their happiness?
There is nothing wrong in crying your heart out. And yes, you are unable to find a way right now. Tillo now, you lived life they way you wanted, now live it in Baba's way and see. Take this small challenge.

Every second of the day,  you will be seeing her, thinking about her, missing her. Do  it. Do it more and more. Again and again.
One day you will hate yourself for doing that. And your mind will stop doing it completely.

If it doesnt, its ok. Live your life the way you want. Dont marry anyone. Live it out for her. Pray for her happiness.

Life is as beautiful as you make it. If you want to make it ugly no one will stop you, but remember, you will have wasted your life.

She left tears in your eyes. Why dont you promise yourself to make atleast 1 person laugh?
Atleast you know that she is gone for sure. So now you can do things which you couldnt when she was there.
And if you cant find, then visit a Sai temple in your area, and try to feed, 1 extremely hungry and poor person every day.

Do this for atleast a week and come back here with your experience.

Sai starts when Life has left.

Till then......Keep Praying!!!

[shiveshwar]

om sai
thank you kirti for suggestion...i will definitely try to do what u suggested...will carry this pain as long as i last.

[PiyaSoni]

omsairam

kirti is right till the time we has spend our life as we wanted to live , nw surrender all yur burden on deva he will bear it , nw live yur life baba's way , the happiness wll be yurs , baba never want his devotee to be in pain , commiting sucide is the solution of any problem , the life which baba has given yu its nt all yurs , yur parents need yu , yur bother-sister need yu , maybe after some time yur love realize her mistake , pls give time to yur relationship , if yur destiny is with her definatly she wll come back to yu , no one cn apart yu, baba has think before for everyone....once the right time will came yur problems will start solving , jst keep shardha nd saburi .....

omsairam

[vanit_vippy]

Dear Shiveswar,

Om Sai Ram

You are not different from all and you are not only the first person who is not getting your love by your own choice , so greatness is just in that just belive in Baba and have a complete faith on him , Baba ji will bring your beautiful time , may be to whom you love that will not be blessed to you by Baba but Baba will bless you with what you deserve , Suicide is not the solution of your problem just we have to do jaap of our Sai Baba's name and automatically our all problems will be solved out.

So keep patience and have faith in Baba.

Om Sai Ram

[shiveshwar]

om sai
i want to share with you all that yes babaji blessed me countless times. I have seen darkness in my life earlier as well. everybody lost hope in me. but i was standing firm that babaji is with me and i shall pass this phase. not even for a second i lost hope at that time. but this time my faith was shaken more than once. so pathetic i was, that during recent three months i also got angry at babaji for not coming for help. but anyhow babaji has been with me. if i see at my recent past, i am sure i couldnt have survived this pain widout blessings of babaji. wat amuses me is d fact dat i went to babaji's feet because my girlfriend introduced me to babaji and even gave babaji's picture to me once. few months bak she told me that one very good astrologer has told her that i would leave her because of some other girl. but look, its finally nisha who left me.  probably it may be because i asked babaji with my full devotion that please give me all her pain and give all my happiness to her. and if dats d case i m happy dat atleast she is happy though without me. probably fate hd it that i was supposed to leave her n babaji heard my prayer and gave thi pain to me and gave her my happiness. i just pray to babaji that even if some happiness is left with me give it to her and just give me all her sorrows. yes i broke down, my faith was shaken and i was distorted wen babaji first intoduced me to this pain and i started this note, but ow with babaji's grace i m used to tears n pain. now i think i can bear more. please babaji dontbe mad at nisha and just take care f her and giver her my all happiness. let there be no darkness in her life. i m here to bear all darkness..

[vanit_vippy]

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BABA PER BHAROSE RAKHO BHAI , BABA SAB THEEK KARENGE.

OM SAI RAM

[shiveshwar]

Om Sai
babaji thank you for being with me. This world is so amusing. one knows its all illusion. one knows nobody would last forever. one is aware that nothing lasts forever on tis earth. yet we all are so attached to ths world. iknow even if she comes back, one day death woul depart us. new life, forgetting my last birth and same routine. but look at me, still i wanna be with her. still i love her. babaji is it right to love another human being, how is it possible for a human to love but not be attached...babaji give me more pain more problems more troubles so dat i just make a detachment form this world. .give me tears babaji..why to be happy here , coz happiness would again attach me from this world....