DwarkaMai - Sai Baba Forum

Main Section => Your Experience with Sai Baba => Topic started by: shiveshwar on February 22, 2011, 05:11:04 AM

Title: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on February 22, 2011, 05:11:04 AM
om sai
my name is shiveshwar. i had 5 year long distace relationship. but all of a sdden, ast november, my love left me without any reason. she says she has no emotions left for anyone and she is just void. i am clueless as to what happened. i cried my eyes out before babaji asking babaji to take anything away from me but just give me her love. but it seems like my previous biirth karma are so bad that even sai baba cant allow me to escape this pain. so i hav decided 15th march to be the date when i would die beacuse i promised her that nisha i will not live without you. though she failed to keep her promise i would. i would die with babaji's name in my mouth. i know death is not a solution but cant bear the pain of her ging away from me. probably my death is the only way out of this pain. will babaji accept my death. i am sorry babaji i couldn't be storng enough to stand form and have courage t live this ife without her. i had accepted her as my wife and without her i just cant live.


~~~Since we consider  this forum as our Sai temple just felt like editing the subject line.
Hope you don't mind Shiveshwar ji. Thank you. Baba bless you.
SaiRam
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on February 22, 2011, 07:09:53 AM
om sai
thanks for suggestion Aabhu...felt bad for your situation as well..may babaji take away all ur sorrows..i pray to babaji take anything away form anyone but just dont take their love away from them..i really dont know what else i can do to get her..thats why i hv given myself, sai baba and destiny the time to give me back my love or else i wanna give up all other relations, this life and the pain that she is not longer with me..your words r really caring and supportive but i guess nothing can heal my wounds but her presence..infact my patience is just lossing out..hopefully i wont see tomorrow's light...u might b d last person i m interacting with...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: bhakta9 on February 22, 2011, 08:19:04 AM
If you truely consider yourself a Sai bhakth that great that you will die with Baba's name in your mouth then you are fooling yourself. Sai baba is about faith and patience and Saburi ka koi deadline nahi hota.

If your faith on baba is so weak then why take his name? why make a mockery out of yourself and him?

We all go through heart breaks... I was involved with some one for over 5 years and it turns out my dear was already engaged to a some one without my knowledge.. So am I dead? did I forsake baba and say chalo I am dying? NO... I cryied but then finally accepted Baba's decision is the best for me. today he has gifted me a life partner that is truly lovely and my old love could never be this fantastic..

When you call yourslef a Sai bhakth live up to his teaching. A bhakth is not one who just prays but lives the teachings of the guru. Our guru says to surrender to him. It is just ego tht we go out and think we are smarter...

My dear man... I urge you to take a deeper look at life. Life is not just about girlfriend and love.. It is about devotion, surrender and living the teachings of the guru...

If you want Baba to be your guru you have to love him unconditionally and believe all that happens in yor life is his doing including this one. I pray that you do well really well in all sphere sof your life that one day you look back at this say..."Thank god I never did that stupid action"
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: drashta on February 22, 2011, 08:27:40 AM
Om Sai Baba.

Dear Shiveshwar ji,

I can understand the intensity of your pain. But, I want to tell you that cowards commit suicide. One spoils this birth as well as countless other lives by killing oneself. You have no right to take away the life that Baba has given you. That too for an impermanent and ever-changing human relationship. You must live and bear the pain with courage. That is how your karmic dues will be cleared. Let me also add that no person is worth such a sacrifice. After failed love affairs, wise people move on. They do not get stuck in the rut in which someone dumped them. After the mourning period is over, you will also move on. That is my strong belief borne out of my personal experience. You will find meaning to your existence, with or without human love. I pray to Baba to give you strength and courage through this testing period.

Jai Jai Baba.
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: vibhusharma on February 22, 2011, 10:14:36 AM
I will agree with Bhakta, and wud say dat same thing happened with me, and my life partner is far better than my ex lover.

today, i thank n thank baba for His grace, i had to bear that pain coz Baba wanted to give me something better.So trust  Baba and His teachings.

In Sai Charitra one person wanted to commit sucide but Sai stopped him by telling a story of Akkalkot G Maharaj thru some medium.  Life is beautiful and keep trust in Sai's teachings. Further its Dwaraka Mai which takes its debt from persons which u will have to give but same time Sai will take care of you as well.
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on February 22, 2011, 10:55:38 AM
om sai
thank you all for the replies..really insightfull. but do u think its about better or about whom u love. i m fully aware that dying is not the solution and i would be letting down everyone including sai baba. in fact what she has done to me, i have every reason to hate her. but i cant. wish i could have such love for almighty. but guyz i m no saint no meera and no shabri. i am just mere mortal. m human beiing. Even if somehow i change my mind, i wont and cant forget her. i dont want to. agar sai baba hamare pita hain aur mein unka bccha, kya wo ye zid puri nahi karenge. what would make his heart melt.? i know discipline and rightous things only, will be given by almighty. par kya bacche ki ye zid wo puri nahi karenge? if its all about "bhaavna- feelings" then i had accepted her as my wife. how can sai let my soulmate depart?when we were together, e used to lite deep before sai baba everyday. i looked at sai baba and accepted her as my wife. doesnt that count as marriage? i am in fifth year of my law school and in next april we were going to get married. her place can not be taken by anyone. not even by a far better girl. becoz i m already married to her. babaji ek zid puri kar do, ye bacha kabhi aur zid nahi karega...i give u my word that this would be my last demand...come what may i would never ever ask for anything else..just give me my nisha back
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: vibhusharma on February 22, 2011, 11:29:48 AM
Sorry to say so but u r not a Sai Bhakt. u r giving deadlines to Sai.......which is a mere childish thing. She was ur wife or girlfriend but today reality is something else. If she is ur destiny u will get her otherwise something better will happen.

One more guidance from an elder, love life....life loves those who loves it and spend it appropriately.

sucide is a easy wayout but fight with circumstances is harder.

Second, right now due to dat girl u are unable to see and value d love of ur near and dear one. den how cud u expect love from dat girl...she may b doing d same thing.

Sai ka ghar bohat bada hai waha se koi khali hath nahi jata.

i read on Temple wall :- Maine jo manga Sai se usne mujhe wo na diya, mujhe jis cheez ki jarurat thi Sai ne mujhe wo dia.

May Sai give you some Sadbushi!!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: bhakta9 on February 22, 2011, 04:34:23 PM
I urge you to move on with life. Would you want nisha back if she really did not love you anymore? Can you live with a woman who has a void and no feelings for you? IF you say yes now, thats because you have not lived with some one who is indifferent... You are a law student educated and smart.. put your head to this one my dear... use some imagination and see if you will be happy...

Lets say baba gives you Nisha and then things don't work out between you two.. Will you not tell baba then .. "You were my guru why did you not save me?" A mother gives her child bitter medicines to cure him... This is your bitter medicine...  Baba does only one thing.. Save his devotees not deprive them of what is good for them.. REMEMBER THIS!

So, this is my advice as some one who has lived through heartbreak so bad that I left the country to get over it... and I did get over it...

If you want to be a child and ask baba for some thing then ask for his love and grace.. without that no child can be happy even if he had the woman of his dreams or the wealth for asking...

Give yourself time, pray, meditate, go to temple and above all focus on studying... See how Baba changes your mind and life for the better...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: Kirti1 on February 23, 2011, 03:00:18 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshwar,

DO you think, by committing suicide, you are ending this matter once and for all?

Then, everyone in this world who has loved and is heart broken should do it.
Love is not about possessing someone. It is about giving them up but keeping the light of love burning for them.
Love is about sacrifice. What will make you happier: 1) Seeing Nisha unhappy, sad but with you or
2) Happy and joyful, with whoever she is. Find the answer to that.
Love is not about self. Love is about giving.. Love is a journey. Love has only 1 fruit, Love.

Yes, we all want to spend the life with our loved ones. But at what cost? cost of their happiness?
There is nothing wrong in crying your heart out. And yes, you are unable to find a way right now. Tillo now, you lived life they way you wanted, now live it in Baba's way and see. Take this small challenge.

Every second of the day,  you will be seeing her, thinking about her, missing her. Do  it. Do it more and more. Again and again.
One day you will hate yourself for doing that. And your mind will stop doing it completely.

If it doesnt, its ok. Live your life the way you want. Dont marry anyone. Live it out for her. Pray for her happiness.

Life is as beautiful as you make it. If you want to make it ugly no one will stop you, but remember, you will have wasted your life.

She left tears in your eyes. Why dont you promise yourself to make atleast 1 person laugh?
Atleast you know that she is gone for sure. So now you can do things which you couldnt when she was there.
And if you cant find, then visit a Sai temple in your area, and try to feed, 1 extremely hungry and poor person every day.

Do this for atleast a week and come back here with your experience.

Sai starts when Life has left.

Till then......Keep Praying!!!


Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on February 23, 2011, 08:49:01 AM
om sai
thank you kirti for suggestion...i will definitely try to do what u suggested...will carry this pain as long as i last.
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: PiyaSoni on February 24, 2011, 03:29:44 AM
omsairam

kirti is right till the time we has spend our life as we wanted to live , nw surrender all yur burden on deva he will bear it , nw live yur life baba's way , the happiness wll be yurs , baba never want his devotee to be in pain , commiting sucide is the solution of any problem , the life which baba has given yu its nt all yurs , yur parents need yu , yur bother-sister need yu , maybe after some time yur love realize her mistake , pls give time to yur relationship , if yur destiny is with her definatly she wll come back to yu , no one cn apart yu, baba has think before for everyone....once the right time will came yur problems will start solving , jst keep shardha nd saburi .....

omsairam
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: vanit_vippy on February 24, 2011, 05:15:59 AM
Dear Shiveswar,

Om Sai Ram

You are not different from all and you are not only the first person who is not getting your love by your own choice , so greatness is just in that just belive in Baba and have a complete faith on him , Baba ji will bring your beautiful time , may be to whom you love that will not be blessed to you by Baba but Baba will bless you with what you deserve , Suicide is not the solution of your problem just we have to do jaap of our Sai Baba's name and automatically our all problems will be solved out.

So keep patience and have faith in Baba.

Om Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on February 24, 2011, 11:01:24 PM
om sai
i want to share with you all that yes babaji blessed me countless times. I have seen darkness in my life earlier as well. everybody lost hope in me. but i was standing firm that babaji is with me and i shall pass this phase. not even for a second i lost hope at that time. but this time my faith was shaken more than once. so pathetic i was, that during recent three months i also got angry at babaji for not coming for help. but anyhow babaji has been with me. if i see at my recent past, i am sure i couldnt have survived this pain widout blessings of babaji. wat amuses me is d fact dat i went to babaji's feet because my girlfriend introduced me to babaji and even gave babaji's picture to me once. few months bak she told me that one very good astrologer has told her that i would leave her because of some other girl. but look, its finally nisha who left me.  probably it may be because i asked babaji with my full devotion that please give me all her pain and give all my happiness to her. and if dats d case i m happy dat atleast she is happy though without me. probably fate hd it that i was supposed to leave her n babaji heard my prayer and gave thi pain to me and gave her my happiness. i just pray to babaji that even if some happiness is left with me give it to her and just give me all her sorrows. yes i broke down, my faith was shaken and i was distorted wen babaji first intoduced me to this pain and i started this note, but ow with babaji's grace i m used to tears n pain. now i think i can bear more. please babaji dontbe mad at nisha and just take care f her and giver her my all happiness. let there be no darkness in her life. i m here to bear all darkness..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: vanit_vippy on February 25, 2011, 03:33:25 AM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM
OM SAI RAM

BABA PER BHAROSE RAKHO BHAI , BABA SAB THEEK KARENGE.

OM SAI RAM
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on February 26, 2011, 01:25:47 AM
Om Sai
babaji thank you for being with me. This world is so amusing. one knows its all illusion. one knows nobody would last forever. one is aware that nothing lasts forever on tis earth. yet we all are so attached to ths world. iknow even if she comes back, one day death woul depart us. new life, forgetting my last birth and same routine. but look at me, still i wanna be with her. still i love her. babaji is it right to love another human being, how is it possible for a human to love but not be attached...babaji give me more pain more problems more troubles so dat i just make a detachment form this world. .give me tears babaji..why to be happy here , coz happiness would again attach me from this world....
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on February 26, 2011, 01:37:45 AM
Om Sai
living life was so easy for me when i was with her. the world seemed so beautiful. i used to appreciate nature, beauty, human emotions when i was with her. but now it all seems meaningless.. i dnt trust this world ,myself aymore..even i may become lke her one day where even i may break someone's heart this way..there is no quality and worth of human love..its all fake
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: vishwanath69 on February 26, 2011, 12:45:53 PM
OM SAI RAM

Respected devotee,

I am sorry for intruding.If you spent a fraction of your love and directed it towards Baba than a mortal soul with all the infallibilities of human life, then perhaps you may understand what Drashta behen was communicating to you.

Revel in the knowledge that you love Baba above anything else.Our Master will show you the path.

Vishwanath
Servant of Baba
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: bhakta9 on February 26, 2011, 01:38:15 PM
Quote from: Aabhu on February 26, 2011, 01:51:50 AM
I am no different from you trust me but I am trying and asking for baba´s love all the time.

But but and listen to me carefully
today if inspite of all the dismals in life and life being a cruel and harsh experience
i we survive and pray continuously to him, we might see a different aspect all together

but but if we give up and do something suicide or something
then believe me even Baba won´t be able to help then....

just remmeber to change your lifestyle
place if possible
induldge with new friends and people.

Dear ones,

In my experience with baba, I have learnt that there are different stages a devotee goes through..

1. Asking for things of a material nature and seeing if Baba fulfills those.
2. Once desires are fulfilled the devotee enters Sai's fold and prays with thanks
3. New challenges test his faith that he cries out. Baba then uses this to test if the devotee will stick by him
4. If the devotee sticks by him despite suffering losses then he takes the devotee as his own child
5. baba takes care of the welfare of this devotee and gives him the best
6. The devotee then only prays to Baba for faith in his feet with the belief that Faith alone will solve everything. No need to ask for individual wants-- faith takes care of the entire samsara. So lets all pray for faith and patience and everthing will be taken care of be it love or lovers, money or jobs, family issues or child issues...

May Baba bless you all.
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: boddupallisunitha on February 26, 2011, 03:24:20 PM
read the 23rd adhyayana of life history of shiridi saibaba by ammula sambasiva rao guruji.......... ull get the exact solution

Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: saisai83 on March 01, 2011, 04:08:56 PM
Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha

Dear Siveshvar,

You are Baba's child and you want to cause Baba pain? Any mother will feel so much pain if anything happens to her child! If you truly love Baba then you will not consider such an option of suicide..

Do you not have faith in Baba when his principles are Shraddha and Saburi? Baba tests those who are closest to him, respect him and respect his tests. Keep firm faith in Baba and he will make everything okay in your life.

If you believe in Karma and re-incarnation then dont you know that if you end this life of yours, your karma will not escape you. It will come back in your next life, till how long will you keep escaping from it? Be greatful that Baba is with you and he is holding your hand and getting you across this difficult time of your life. Trust in him, dont ever forget him.

Dont give Baba ultimatums that you will end your life, you are only causing him pain and hurt. Love Baba and know that he is doing what is best for you and he will answer your prayers sooner if you have faith and patience.

You can always write to our brothers and sisters on this forum if ever you feel your faith is shaking. Everyone is here to give you more encouragement and strength to keep firm to your faith in Baba!!

Baba will get you through this!

Jai Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: sainetra on March 02, 2011, 10:05:09 PM
dear shiveshwar .. she might not be the best for u..
baba wants to give u d best...  dont worry..
he will show u d way... baba does not leave his kid's hand. he will always be  with his kids and helping them in all their way...

Dont take such decisions as it will harm evry one aroung u. just for one gal ending life is really foolish thing.. there many ppl who r loving u lot. spend time with them.. Amen

Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: vanit_vippy on March 03, 2011, 10:01:35 AM
OM SAI RAM

BE POSTIVE DEAR..KEEP FAITH ON BABA JI..SOON YOU WILL BE BLESS I WISH SO

OM SAI RAM
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: saisai83 on March 03, 2011, 10:04:56 AM
Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha

Baba please give Siveshwar peace of mind and please bless him and be with him always and heal his pain..

Jai Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 04, 2011, 02:10:44 AM
Om Sai Ram
Thank you all for yor prayers. I have today completed saptah paath of Sai Saccharitra and i am happy i could complete it. After reading it completely, i discovered that babaji not only helped spiritually but also made sure that materialistic desires of his bhkta is also fulfilled. wen i was about to finish the last page of paath , suddenly a thought sparked in my mind that i should pay baabji Rs 500. and as soon as my path got over i put Rs 500 before baabji and i dont know why but it made me feel better. babaji has made me much stable and calm. now no longer sucidal thoughts walk into my mind. i mjust waiting ki ek baar mere sai mere pe kripa drashti se dekh le...kyunki ek sufi sant ne kaha hai..." uski rehmat ki hogi agar ik nazar, uski rehmat ki hogi agar ik nazar,, waqt kya h, mukaddar badal jaega.." bas at to babaji ke ek baar bas dekhne bhar ki der hai...plz babaji ab ye duri nahi sahan hoti..aap ek bar kripa drashti se dekh lo mere maula..plz..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: saisai83 on March 04, 2011, 02:29:30 AM
Dear Shiveshwar,

It is really good to hear that! :) Jo bhi raaste mein aa raha tha, Baba ne raasta dikha ke aap ko bata diya kya karna tha.. Abhi sab kuch dheere dheere theek ho jayega. Baba hamesha aap ke saath hain!

Jai Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 05, 2011, 08:44:03 AM
Om Sai Ram
babaji aaj mann bahot baichain hai..i m restless and feelin low..babaji kya aapne mera Sai Sachhritra ka paath accept ni kiya?! babaji aap ne hi kaha hai ki jo koi dwarika mai ki siidhiyo pe paanv rakhega wo actually apne dukho ke peeth pe paanv rakh kar aaega..mein ne mann se last 7 din rozana maszid me aapke darshan kiye. par kyun babaji aapki kripa se vanchit hi raha..meri puja kya aapne sweekaar nahi ki? babaji man mein bahot bada void hai. ap to mere kashtoo ka ant kar do babaji..ap na dur rakho mujhe nisha se.. babaji ab aur na pareeksha lo..babaji aap ki ik nazar se janmo janmo ke paap khatam ho jaate hain.. mujh par bhi ik nazar dekh lo..aapke aage kya asambhav hai..jisko jyotishiyo ne bola ki beta nahi hoga..usko aapki bas ek aashirvaad se putra prapti hui..mujhe bhi mera pyar de do babaji..mera bhi bhagya badal ho sai samrath...ab samhaal lo babaji meri nayaa ko..babaji 4 maheene ho gaye is dard mein..aap hi ka sahara hai....aao na babaji..aapki daya ka hi bas sahara hai...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: saisai83 on March 05, 2011, 11:21:31 AM
OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA
OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA

Baba bhala karo, shaanti de do Shiveshvar ko. Apne aashirvaad de do Sai.

Jai Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 06, 2011, 11:15:03 AM
Om Sai Ram
babaji bas ab aur na der karo...ik nazar dekh lo mujhe....take all away from me babaji..just give me my nisha...aap ke liye kya asambhav hai mere sai..kya bhagya aur kya durbhagya..aap to niyam se bhi pare ho mere sai..aapko niyam bhi nahi baandh sakta hain sai baba...mera mann bahot dukhi h mere sai..aapkesiwakoi aur sahara hi nahi hai babaji...its been 4 months sai!!!aur na dur rakho meri nisha ko mujhse...baba aapke vachno pe mujhe pura bharosa hai..aapki masjid se koi khaali haath nahi gaya hai..sabki muraad puri hui h..meri bhi sun lo mere sai...i hav cried my eyes out...give memy love back..mere sai sun lo..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: saisai83 on March 06, 2011, 11:22:09 AM
Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha
Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha

Baba Shiveshwar ko aashirwaad de do, usje dil ko shaanti do mere Sai, uska sacha pyaar saphal karo Gurudeva..

Jai Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 08, 2011, 01:26:56 AM
Om Sai Ram
if this is the life, then why did u give me one. if tears hold no value for u babaji why did u giv me emotions. if u had to take it away from me why did u give it to me in first place. if u had to ignore me why did u bring me close to you. if u had to sit silent why did u make me speak to you. if i am so bad, if my karma's r so bad why did u attract me towards you. babaji mein kya karun??? aap ne bhi pher liya chehara?? is jeevan se accha to ye hai ki wapas le lo babaji...aap ke vachan hi the ki jo koi meri masjid pe kadam rakhega uska dukh durr hoga..? kya mein aapko khush lagta hun? kaise jiyu mein..kiske liye..bas pyar maanga hai aapse aur mujhe wo bhi nahi mila..to phier aisa jeevan kyun chahiye..? babaji dontu realise i m just a human being..i hv emotions and how could u ignore all my miseries like this....aapke siwa koi aur asra nahi aur aaphi ne chehara pher liya??kyun?? kahan par ho aap?? 
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: saisai83 on March 08, 2011, 01:18:10 PM
Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha
Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha

Baba sab kuch theek kar denge, Sharaddha aur Saburi rakho bhai..
May Baba give you peace and answer all your prayers soon..

Jai Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 09, 2011, 12:59:37 AM
Om Sai Ram
babaji aap ho phir bhi mere mann mein itna andhera kyun..aapke rehte hue bhi mujhe itna akelakyun lag raha hai? kya aap mujh pe krpia drashti nahi daaloge? babaji mujhe aur dur na rakho nisha se...kripa mere dev kripa...ab ye dard nahi saha ja raha hai...dekh lo ik nazar sai....mere dukh ka ant kar do mere baba....relieve me from this pain giv me my love back or take my life back..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 09, 2011, 02:39:14 AM
Om  Sai Ram
please help me
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: saisai83 on March 09, 2011, 01:02:27 PM
Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai NAthaaya Namaha
Om Sri Sai NAthaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai NAthaaya Namaha
Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha   Om Sri Sai Nathaaya Namaha

Baba Shiveshwar ka bhala karo mere Sai..

Jai Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 09, 2011, 10:45:33 PM
Om Sai Ram
babaji bas ab himmat jawab de rahi hai..aur nahi saha jata...bas mein aur nahi seh sakta..relieve me from this babaji...i cant control this..where r u deva??? i cant wait anymore..there is no option left for me but to end my life if this continues..i cant bear this..its beyond me..please help..soon..i am really down and babaji if u soon dont lift me up then i m ending dis..i dont have courage and faith to go through all this..help me pleaseee...i just seek refuge in u ..and if my pain still persists given the fact tht i took ur refuge, no one else can give me my love back..no one is above u and if u dont help me no one can..so babaji bestow me with ur kripa or else i wud n just like a kid whose father doesnt show his love to his kid...show me ur love babaji..dont leave me..dont ignore me..i just cant stand on my feet now..u r omnipotent, u can change d destiny..change mine..i beg u...please babaji show me ur love..i m starved m parched..dont leave me like this babaji...i m so lonely..giv her back by 15th or i m gonna end my life...its no deadline its just tht i cant bear this pain ne further....kahan par ho babaji????
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 10, 2011, 03:12:36 AM
Om Sai Ram
please babaji dont ignore me..i hv no one but u for me..if u turn ur bak where else wud i go?? please sai ram giv me my lov bak...my life is in pieces..please put thm together...sai baba my heart is in crying..please dont turn my prayer down..please
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: saisai83 on March 10, 2011, 06:10:39 AM
OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA
OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA
OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA   OM SRI SAI NATHAAYA NAMAHA

Baba shiveshwar ko sukh-shaanti de do, please re-unite him with his love and bless them

Jai Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 10, 2011, 08:28:32 AM
Om Sai Ram
babaji aaj to aapko chamatkaar dikhana hi hoga! mujhe kab tak aise dur rakhoge..har din intzaar..har raaat is umeed se niklati hai ki shayad kal accha hoga..shayad kal wo cal karegi shayad kal babaji kripa karenge..par har raat ko niraasha aur dejected hi feel hota hai..aapke rehte itni nirasha itna dukh kyun?? mein kab tak wait karun..babaji mein bas ek normal insaan hi hun...havent u tested my patience enuf? havent i been made go through a lot? isnt it enuf sai ram?? babaji ab aur nahi karwayo intzaar..aaj hi dikha do apni leela..apni shakti! its been 4 months and its been iteral hell for me..ab to mere sai kal ka intzaar mat karao..ab to aaj raat mein hi de do mujhe meri nisha wapas..kya mera kasoor h babaji..bas itna ki meinne ussse apne se bhi jayada pyar kiya? babaji aaj to aapko khud aana hi padega..khud hi meri nayaa paarlagani hogi..mere prabhu ab is bacche ki aur pareeksha na lo..mein to aapka hi hun..ab is bacche ki sun bhi lo...show me ur love mere sai..aaj abhi ...meri shradhha ko aur badha do mere baba..aaj mera dil ro raha hai..rote hue dil se aap ko pray kar raha hun..sai aaj to aapko apni shakti dikhani hi hogi..aaj ki raat to aap mujhe khushiyaan waps de doge..please..mere sai ab na der karo...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 10, 2011, 11:15:41 PM
Om Sai Ram
kyun babaji aap ne kyun nahi suni meri..sabki ardaas sunte ho..meri nahi suni aapne...kyun kar diya mujhe yun akela..kya karu ab mein..aap ne bhi yun ignore kar diya..mujhe kahi bhi shaanti nahi hai...this life now holds no meaning to me..wen my heart is bleeding, i cant bring smile to anyone..aur ye sab aapke age ho raha hai..meri aawaaz shayad aap tak nahi pahochi bababji..ya aap ne sun kar bhi ansuna kar diya...koi nahi hai mere saath...sirf ye dukh....
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: Kirti1 on March 11, 2011, 01:01:59 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar

Been reading your posts, and have been feeling a little anger on you.

Yes, you are in the most toughest phase of your life, but then you have Sai with you.
It is upto you to see him. He never leaves anyone.
Pardon me, but, you are acting like a small child. Why are you threatening Baba with suicide, for something which he has not done.

Baba only guides us, but at the end, it is on us. Even after knowing Baba's teachings, you still want to go against them, then why will Baba stop you?? In the end, it will be you has lost. How will you face yourself then??

Learn to trust Baba. Learn to Calm your mind. Only then you can hear Baba speak.

Start keeping yourself busy all day long. Plan your day, so that you may have no spare time at all.

There is so much that life has to offer.

Hope Baba give you necessary answers to move along in life.

Till then...Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 12, 2011, 09:52:34 PM
Om Sai Ram
kirti i m sorry for upsetting you. but to b very honest i wqrtoe wat i was thinking..i still can not believe dat babaji did no pay any heed to my prayers..everyday i hav cried my heart out..every second to me is an ordeal to stay alive..i m so down low and hurt dat i hardly can breathe with ease...i hav only one refuge and dat is babaji..and even if he doesnt listen, where wud i go..n i m not threatening bababji wid sucide all i m doing is saying wats goin on in my head..i m just very depressed...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 13, 2011, 03:04:48 AM
Om Sai Ram
aabhu very rightly said..its impossible to live widout one whom u love d most..and dat too after such a relationship...where wud we go except sai's refuge...sirf bababji ka hi to sahara hai...mere sai ab aur na test lo...hum pe kripa karo mere sai...har ek pal is literal hell for me...help me soon...i badly need ur kripa....give her back..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: man_19dec on March 16, 2011, 11:05:43 PM
dont spoil life given by baba use it for some good reason
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 17, 2011, 02:15:13 AM
Om Sai Ram
babaji please help me..m in dire starit..plz come soon!
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: Kirti1 on March 18, 2011, 04:18:20 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar,

You are still not getting it. Again you are blaming Baba.
Baba has paid heed to you. It is you who is not able to see it.

I know the pain of heart break. But blaming others and especially God, what is that, all about??

Baba has sent us here, so that we live out to the fullest and pay off our Karmas.

People come and go, as we finish this journey. To some we get attached eternally, to some we dont.
And some become a part of our daily life. We just take them for granted.

Please stop being so cross with Baba. this is just a phase, and I promise you in future when you reflect on this time, you will actually find it extremely funny.

Yes I understand your pain, and agony.
And remember, you are the one, who can either drown in this misery or be strong and fight it.
Baba what's to see the man in you, hence he has put you throught this.
Be bold and face it with a smile, and see how Baba showers you with all his happiness.

And to do that you need to keep yourself extremely busy thru the day.

Till then....Keep Praying!!!


Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 18, 2011, 11:39:51 AM
Om Sai Ram
Thnx kirti for ur suggestion..kirti i wud really try to implement ur advice.but i think somewhere i gav d impression dat i m blaming baba..its not dat...obviously its my past karma's only which are makin me go through this..kirti its been 4 months now n i  see no ray of hope! Its just that my night has stretched way too long than my strength! but u r right i hv to take it with a smile coz to b honest i hav cried my eyes out and didnt make a single dent in my miseries..!I just pray to babaji to give her back..but kirti i hv become sort of saddist in life since she has left me..coz now everything in dis world seems so meaningless, so untrue so fake..it all seems a delusion and i just cant b wat i am..i hav a kind heart but all my qualities seems meaningless coz its unreal..! i pray to babaji dat please giv me her back...somehow!i just pray that in the end of all dis i hav her in my life...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 18, 2011, 02:49:57 PM
Om Sai Ram
Babaji aaj holi h..happy holi to u and  to everyone...babaji meri jindgi se to saare rang chale gaye hain..man berang h...bina nisha ke kya holi aur kaise rang...man bahot udaas h...bas aapka sahara hai...bilkul man nahi lag raha hai..kya karun? newaz..happy holi to u babaji once again n to everyone...may this  holi bring colours to ur lives...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 18, 2011, 11:30:13 PM
Om Sai Ram
hie aabhu.. happy holi dear!..yeah i hv started..but i read it rather thn listening to it..btw let me tel u i stay in a residential university so cant hug my mom dad as well.:(  ..sometimes the loss is such a big one dat u dnt hv capacity to bear it..i loved nisha more than ne one in dis world..but her sudden change has made me cry my eyes out..babaji aapka hi sahara hai..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: Kirti1 on March 19, 2011, 12:26:58 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar,

With all due respects, every heart broken goes thru the same.
And yes you have all the right to drown in your sorrows.
Everyone does that. I know people who are waiting for Baba's blessings since 4-5 years.
Can you imagine their plight!!!

Today the same people cant thank Baba enough for what he has done to them.

Instead of chanting Nisha, nisha all day, replace it with Baba, Baba.

As I said, you need to keep yourself extremely busy. Keep doing something or the other all the while.
Just dont sit idle even for a minute.

And all the while keep calling out to Baba.
There is no short cut, to this.Try building your faith in Baba. Pray to him without any expectations.
As humans we haven a tendency to keep asking even when we pray/bow heads.

These things will not vanish, cause they are nutured by us. And you need not do that.
Just keep trusting Baba, and I kowe 1 day he will put pieces of puzzle in the right place.

TIll then....Keep Praying!!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: vicky6021 on March 19, 2011, 12:33:51 AM
  ॐ श्री साई नाथाय नमः

 ॐ श्री साई नाथाय नमः

 ॐ श्री साई नाथाय नमः

ॐ श्री साई लक्ष्मीनारायनाय नमः
ॐ श्री साई कृष्णरामशिव मारुत्यादिरुपाय नमः
ॐ श्री साई कालाय नमः
ॐ श्री साई भक्तावन प्रतिज्ञान नमः

kirpa karo  baba ji  apne bhagto par 




~~॥अनंत कोटी ब्रह्माण्ड्नायक राजाधीराज श्री सच्चीदानन्द समर्थ सद गुरु साईं नाथ महाराज की जय॥~~

मालिक एक ROOP ANEEK

ॐ श्री साई नाथाय नमः
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 19, 2011, 01:40:53 AM
Om Sai Ram
thnx kirit for explaining..yeah i m tryin to keep myself busy all day...and yes u r very correct wen u say dat my problem seems very trivial wen i see others waitin for years..kirti i m tryin very hard to not to think abt her n keep prayin to babaji..but i m not as good as u  guyz r..i really respect u all for ur faith and devotion...par kirti bahot dil dukhta hai...i know i m not beahving reasonably for last four months i hav been very pathetic..sorry for being like dis
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shanu jain on March 19, 2011, 04:08:31 AM
om sia ram shiveshwar ji.........

just read your posts...... u are hurt...... hm....... me 2 feeling the same pain rite now...... to isliy jo b kahungi uspe vishwas karna......... ek bar socho jo pain apko mil rahi hai usse bura kya ho sakta hai???? aap physicaly fit ho??? ek blind person se to ache ho.. entertainment k sources to hain andhera to nahi apke samne.. aap kahoge mann hi nahi karta kuch dekhne ka.. par source to hai 2 min k liy hi deviate karne ke liy khud ko tv ya movies ya kuch b dekh lete hoge na......... legs hain apke pas???? to dunia se bhag kar chup bhi skte ho.. apni city chod ke kahin dur.. man na lage to man ka bojh halka karne babaji ke pas mandir mein hi....... kitne aise log hain jinse beter life hai apki....... aur suicide karne ka jab bhi man kare na.. tab 2 min ke liy ankhe band karke unke bare me socha karo jinke liy ap sab kuch ho apke parents apki family......... chalo unpe bhi pyar nahin ata to selfish ho jao.. ye socho death ke bad kya hoga....... maine ek spiritual buk mein padha tha.. ki jo suicides jaise time se pehle death hoti hain usme bhi jeev apna jeevan pura karta hi hai.. to after suicide apko ek aisi yoni milegi jaha jaise abhi ho wo bhi nahi hoga.. jaise bhoot pret hote hain.. wo aur kuch nahin bas wahi souls hain hamare jaise jinki icha puri nhi hui ti aur ab bhatak rahi hain kuki shanti nhi mil rhi.......... waha se kahn bhagoge....... kitna b chezo se bhag lo.. ultimately jaha se chale te wahi pahuunchoge....... jo b hua...... use socho hi nhi.. usme se +ve nikalo ye socho ys hua iska reason????? agar apki galti hai to use swekaro.. agar nahi bhi hai to.. usse kuch sekho...... ye world false hai.. sab fake hai.. kabhi hum kisi ka dil todte hain kabhi koi hamara........ aise hi life khatam kar loge????? kyu mili hai ye zindagi????? babaji ne ku bheja apko yaha?? koi reason ta ya bas jake dukhi hoke suicid kar lo isliy........ aur kabi kabi lagta hoga na ki kuch b thek nhi h abi b....... apne man ka bojh pehle unke samne rakh do sara.. jo b man mein hai sara unse keh dalo.......... fir unse pray karo une samarpit kar do khud ko........ fir dekhna miracle hoga....... u wil love sai name.. unki murat se pyar hone lagega....... khud hi sai nam sunke ruk jaoge.. us aur chal padoge......... aise hi sai sai kahoge to shayad concentrate karna mushkil lage....... kuki man me to pain leke rkhi h aisa ku hua mere sath hi ku...... etc.. sab stupid thoughts hain........ jab dunia me kuch sach hi nahi........ ek toy se pyar karoge to uske khone pe rona kaisa........ sach se pyar karo........ sai se kaho muje apse pyar hai.. fir wo tumhe akle chod de to kehna......... pray karo pure man se ki babaji mai pain me hun....... apne pure din ki bate unke samne keh do rat ko....... isse apka man halka ho jayega........ have faith in him......... he has faith in u ki u are someone who is capable of wining every thing......... have confidence in u...........

god bles u alwaz.......
om sai ram........
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: SaiSevak!9 on March 20, 2011, 07:07:44 AM
Live For Others Too..

Life is much b'ful then..Sai Baba lived solely for the sake of his devotees..

Giving life for someone who has ZERO value for your life is just not acceptable!

Join a good NGO.. the smile which you'll see on the faces of kids there is just inexpressible!! You'll feel so happy helping them.

God asks no man whether he will accept life. That's not the choice. You must take it. The Only Question Is HOW?!

Baba Bless You With Wisdom n lots of Love ..


Jai Sai Nath!  ;D
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 22, 2011, 10:06:07 AM
Om Sai Ram
i left for shirdi on saturday 19th..actualy i had no plan but just in afternoon arnd 2 i got d news dat my love nisha is comin back to India and one f her friend had written on her facebook wall that " have a safe journey nd congrats in advance if u r getting mrried"...my heart just stopped beating..i was in shell shock..d very second i decided to leave for Shirdi..in just next 40 seconds i was out of my hostel room and had already left for shirdi..it was d day of holi n next dat was dhulandi d festival f colours n my life was so colourless...i reached shirdi on 20th afternoon..after few hours f wait in line finally i was before babaji in samdhi mandir! i prayed to almight babaji plz help me..u hav helped everyone til dat help me as well..den i went to dwarka mai and i remembered d words of babaji dat " joi koi dwarika mai ki sidhiya chadhega wo apne dukho ke upar paanv  rakhta hua aaega"..i prayed there as well.i spent d entire day in shirdi wid having delightful sight of sai darshan in samdhai mandias well as 5-6 darshan at dwarkamai..next day i went to shingnapur shani mandir and offered puja to shandi dev..i prayed bhagwaan take anything or everything away just giv me my love bak..i reached my hostel just n hour back..after two long years she has come back to india and she didnt cal me..seems like she doesnt wanna see me! but here i am dying to see her hear her voice.!!! its so painful.!she wud b here for some 15 -20 dayz n if she doesnt ca, den every day is gonna b real ordeal for me..every second i wud fear her marriage..evwery second wud make me think tht she has forgotten me!!! oh babaji..plz..m not ready for this.! mercy my lord mercy!!babaji kripa kijiye mujhpar..nahi h mujh mein ye sab dekhne ki shakti..mere sai ab daya karo!!!om sai ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 22, 2011, 10:18:49 AM
Om Sai Ram
thanKS Shanu..i wud hav said d very same things to someone else as well..in fact i  know dat my situation is better thn thousands who dont hav d bare minimum as well..but i m stuck here..wat i cant do is ' Move On'..i truely loved her and i would do watever it takes to get her back!in fact at times i think she has hurt me so much widout ne fault f mine..yet i cant hate her..yeah sometimes i m damn angry at her but my love for her always overpowers my anger..its me who is supposed to b indifferent and angry for wat she has done to me..but on the contrary she is indifferent and m waiting for hER!! i dont wanna loose her at any cost..and dis wait is sinking my soul..its so painful tears never stop..heart ache never halts.day night , in classes, in exams in pooja m  hurt in pain n missin her..god i cant even imagine myself widout her..i just pray to god ki it shouldnt end like this..u know our story has been so strange that it almost certainly looked to me that its ordained by almighty..but this phase which is so surprising has killed me frm inside..u know othing went wrong ..just all f a suddn one day she just gave up on me!..i remember we use to do pooja together..she had her hand on mine wen we used to sing aarti of babaji...every morning babaji ke aage deepak jalana..puja karna..i remember..i accepted her as my wife before babaji! it can not end like this!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 23, 2011, 02:28:25 AM
Om Sai Ram
babaji i need you..please help me..i never felt such unrest..never saw such a dark phase..even in my dreams i could not hav imagined it..its beyond me..i have nothing but you on my side..and one who has you on his side, he can never loose..i dont wanna loose her..aapki kripa is all i need..baabji it really is a very dark time for me..bestow me ur light..guide me home..giv me my love back..aapke siwa kisse maangun..who else can give me other thn u..u r d kinf of kings, god of gods..babaji aapki rehmat ki ik nazar se waqt kya h, mukaddar badal jaega...bas dekh lo meri taraf bhi ek baar...mere sai i need you..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: Kirti1 on March 24, 2011, 05:10:08 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar

Had read your update yesterday, but didnt feel like replying. But overnight, I kept thinking how to comfort you.

Now that I am writing, i cant find comforting words. Sorry.
Still request you to please read on.

I spent 2 years just like you. I visited temple, during morning aartis once a week, and everytime tears would just roll out. Nobody to comfort, no one i could talk to. Everytime Baba would tell me Shraddha Saburi.
I realized that I have to do that, but I didnt know how to calm my mind. I started reading SSC, drinking water mixed with Udi, keep saying SAI SAI all the time, etc. etc. etc.

Yet my mind could just not deviate. But I decided that I will ask Baba to give me something which he can give instantly. I kept begging him for peace of mind first. And he did. I met an uncle in the temple, who had seen me quite often, seating all alone and crying in front of Baba. Many had seen me like that, but only this uncle came forth to help me. since then he has guided me thru this ordeal, and today I am ready to accept whatever Baba decides for me. yes I will feel the pinch if it is not in my favor, but then I know that Baba will be there with me to pull me thru.

Remember, you should never beg for LOVE and RESPECT. You should command them.

Look at you, you are literally begging. Don’t do that, please.

Whether you like it or not, there is only 1 person right now, who is equally unhappy and troubled as you……and that person is not Nisha, not your parents,
Its our Baba. He is equally troubled, cause he is reaching out but you are not seeing him, cause you only want to see Nisha. He is comforting you and loving, but you cant feel it cause you want to feel it from Nisha. Nisha is hurting you and you are hurting Baba.
Nisha is not with you even after hurting you …………but
Baba is still there no matter how much you are hurting Him.

Stop chasing her, because all she is making you do is keep running.
Instead chase Baba, and see how your life changes.

I can clearly see Baba running behind you and crying out to you, “My child, please stop.
Please only concentrate all your thoughts on me. Keep me at the centre of your world.
Now that you have come to me, everything will fall in place. But first you have to trust me, that whatever I will do will be for your good. And then you will see, how far I can take you.”

My honest suggestions:
1)   With your closed eyes and SSC in your hand, medidate on Baba and ask him whatever question you want. Then with closed eyes open any page of the SSC. Now read both the left hand side and right hand side of the page. You will find your answer in there.
2)   Instead of torturing yourself, just pick up the phone, call her and tell her you wanna talk to her. Maintain your composure and command, and ask her what she wants. Don’t ask her why she is doing this, cause this land of free will.Once you get your answer, just hang up without any other word.

Cry your heart out and make a resolve to not drown yourself in this mess again and again. Baba be with you …………..always.

Lemme know how it goes.

Till then…….Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 24, 2011, 07:16:22 AM
Om Sai Ram
thnx kirti for replying..infact mglad to know u tried to comfort me by saying smthin nice..atleast u tried..:) yeah u r right love and respect r commanded and not begged..and yes m at d level of begging..yes u r right m chasing her madly..! yes indeed its true dat wat i should actually chasins is babaji..yes i didnt ask babaji for peace f mind i asked him to giv me nisha back..and yes i was in absolute pain and in intense darkness..but u know after writing my last post, something happened in me..a sudden serene mind, a calm content attitude has suddenly popped up!!! u wud b surprised to know dat wen i was cmin bak frm shirdi, i planned dat i wud leave for her place tomorrow..and wud try to talk to her...but now i hv completely changed attitude..i didnt cal her didnt message her.!wat i did,i prayed..now i hv left everything wid sai baba..i m not crying m not restless anymore! i hv accepted my fate i hv accepted my destony i hv accepted my defeat..no point trying and keeping myself upset..jo hona tha ho gaya..use jitna mujhe hurt karna tha kar liya..sahi hi kaha hai kisi nein..chahane se hi to sab kuch nahi mil jata na! this life is about paying ur past karma and makin karma of this birth really valuable...so i silently accept my fate.watever babaji wishes for me i will accept without a complain...its life and hav to live it..

but u know wat i really learnt from this phase is that dont desire anything..though i had heard it countless times that buddha said desire is d root cause of all sorrows..but this phase made me realise it to the core...i hv learnt to keepmy feelings my emotions my heart to b in check...i wont dream anymore!! full devotion in babaji and his will!! in fact i no longer want her back..she has done enough for me....u were right wen u said m behaving like a kid..yes i was crazy for her..but not anymore i hav learnt to loose that innocence and beahve like amature adult who knows how to check emotions..so i guess this phase has made me mature to realise live in present dont think about tomorrow..and no1 is forever..nothing lasts forever so dont attach urself to this world..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: Kirti1 on March 24, 2011, 11:55:02 PM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar,

Am so glad to have read about the changes. So, Baba has once again kept his promise.
"Whoever climbs the steps of this Masjid Mai ....". Slowly everything in your life will fall into its place.

Wish you Happy Birthday....cause this is your second janam, and pray, Baba is with you every second.



--------------------

Dear Piya,

You can mail me at strokes1130@gmail.com.
Sorry on facebook none of my friends know this, so wanna keep it that way.

-------------------------
Dear Aabhu

Am glad my words could help so many.... I too learn a lot reading posts on this forum
We are all here under Baba's loving eyes to spread the love around

Till then....Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shanu jain on March 25, 2011, 04:23:55 AM
Quote from: shiveshwar on March 22, 2011, 10:18:49 AM
Om Sai Ram
thanKS Shanu..i wud hav said d very same things to someone else as well..in fact i  know dat my situation is better thn thousands who dont hav d bare minimum as well..but i m stuck here..wat i cant do is ' Move On'..i truely loved her and i would do watever it takes to get her back!in fact at times i think she has hurt me so much widout ne fault f mine..yet i cant hate her..yeah sometimes i m damn angry at her but my love for her always overpowers my anger..its me who is supposed to b indifferent and angry for wat she has done to me..but on the contrary she is indifferent and m waiting for hER!! i dont wanna loose her at any cost..and dis wait is sinking my soul..its so painful tears never stop..heart ache never halts.day night , in classes, in exams in pooja m  hurt in pain n missin her..god i cant even imagine myself widout her..i just pray to god ki it shouldnt end like this..u know our story has been so strange that it almost certainly looked to me that its ordained by almighty..but this phase which is so surprising has killed me frm inside..u know othing went wrong ..just all f a suddn one day she just gave up on me!..i remember we use to do pooja together..she had her hand on mine wen we used to sing aarti of babaji...every morning babaji ke aage deepak jalana..puja karna..i remember..i accepted her as my wife before babaji! it can not end like this!!

read your views ki u had acepted this is fate......... but as per my thoughts.. aisa sochna kuch time tak to peace deta hai par uske bad fir hum wahin pahunch jate hain.. ye temp hai jo tum kar rahe ho....... ki abhi fate ko aise acept kar liya.. pray karna chod diya.. agar itne strong ho ki apni will power ko khud ko stabilise rakh sakte ho har state mein to gud....... par i wil sugest ki ek bar feelings laao apne andar socho jab rote ho dard kitni der tak pareshan karta hai...... ek ghanta pura tut kar rone ke bad ankhe kehti hain thak gayi hain.. dil kehta hai ye kya tha jiski waja se maine roya.. life ki need kya hai.. main kaun hun.. kiske liye khud ko itni pain de raha hun.. kya use ehsas hai??? agar main mar bhi jaun to kya use pata lagega main nahin hun.. kiske liye mater karta hai mera hona?? in ques ke aane k bad.. selfish hokar socho mujhe apni ankhe apni body apne liye bhi to chahiye.. koi mujhe har second nahin sun sakta.. mujhe khud ko sunna padega khud ko.. mere apne dukh se sabse jada mujhe hi dukh hota hai.. mai ku kar raha hu ye sab?? isse kya milega mujhe?????? is sabke bad bhi mujhe kahin na khain pata hai meri life ka end nahin hain yahan.. abhi pata nhi kitna jeena hai.. har age mein end tak meri body meri iner soul ki peace mera atitude sab aisa rahega na ki main change na ho jaun.. jab koi aur chang ho jaye tab bhi hum pareshan hote hain.. aur jab mai khud apne liye badla to kaise jeeunga............ jab ye sab mind mein clear hota jayega na.. apko samaj ajayegi.. sab fake hai as pas. hum kisi k liye tab tak ro sakte hain.. jab tak use dhundna nahin chodte.. ap 5 din ye thougts rakhiye ye meri lif hai muje kuch fruitful krna h.. kuch aisa jo muje satisfaction de. mere life ka aim pura krna h.. un thoughts ko side pe rakh do.. sirf apni doings ko observe karo.. ek naya view hoga dekhna.. m experncin d same.......... hopin ki apko ans milega.. sai ji apke sath hi hain.. apko abhi nahin dikh raha ho shayad.. apni prays dikhti hongi par.. lekin outcome nhi.. khud ko stable karo.. kuch acha kro.. un sbi purani chez ko socho nhi.. fir apko feel hona lagega sai ji kaise apko help kr rhe h.. believe me apko milne wali ek choti si smile b sai ji se hai...............
sai bles u alwaz.............. 
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 25, 2011, 05:08:44 AM
Om Sai Ram
thnx shanu for suggesting..shanu i hav cried my eyes out..i hv prayedwith watever conviction i got..i hav tried watever it takes to make things work..butin d end cant fight my own past karma's..cant change wat i did previously..so no matter how much i try, its not going to work..howver only thing m left with is this life..hav to live it..and dont misunderstand me by saying i hav left prayin..i haven't..i do pray and wud alwaz pray...but i m not gonna ask for anything..coz mere chahane se kuch nahi hota..to phir chahana hi kyun..jo milna hoga mil jaega aur jo nahi milna hoga wo chahe kitna pe effort karun nahi milega...to i hv left thinkin wat i want..i dont want anything...just tryin to be numb to this world..tryin not to be hapy or sad..tryin to do away wid emotions...nobody cares for emotions and they bring pain in d end..i hv left everything wid babaji..take away watever u want ..giv me watever u want..its ur wish..i just hav to complete my life somehow!i wil live it d way babaji makes it for me..i just want to be numb to every emotion in this world
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shanu jain on March 26, 2011, 12:58:26 AM
om sia ram shiveshwar ji..........

may i ask u something. jo bhi hua no doubt apki wil k agnst h. par is sbse ap negative ku ho rhe ho. emotions se dur rahoge to life apni nhi lagegi. y u r thinkin dis is d limit. jo bhi hua usme apka apna loss socho to emotions ne disturb kiya apko. baki kuch bhi nahin. apke pas jo pehle tha wo sab kuch ab bhi h. khushi nhi h. par wo apke dhundne ki der hai. try to search for the positiv things around u. positiv words people. motivational stuff. n do one thing jab time mile apne as pas kisi aise ko dhundo jo pareshan ho. usse pucho wo ku ro raha h. use suno samjho. koshish karo use heal karne ki. ye ek aisa way h jisme ap feel kroge ki ap uski pain ko feel kr rhe ho. jab use samjhaoge to khud k liy bhi ans milege. actual me ap use nhi khud ko comfort de rhe hoge. try dis. aur kuch nahi to kisi chote bache ko ek begar ko hi chahe ek chocolat lekar do ya koi aisi chez jiski use wish ho par puri na ho rhi ho. uske face pe jo khushi hogi na use acept krte hue usse jada khushi apke dil me hogi is satisfactn se ki apne kisi ko khushi di. ye sach h. main apko samjhati hu kuch b. to pata nhi apko kitni help milti h. par is sbse muje khud ko hi ek view milta h. ek peace milti h. lagta h jaise muje khushi nhi h par meri waja se kisi aur ko mil jaye to. its gr8 feeln. ek bar try krna. kisi ko khushi dene me khud se na chahte hue b apko khushi milegi. try 2 live like bas aaj hi jeena hai. kal suba ka pata nhi ho ya nahin. to aj hi mein max jee lo. kuch aisa kar lo jo apko satisfactn de. n try to think positiv. positiv atitud itself is a healer.
sai bles u.

om sai ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 26, 2011, 04:02:12 AM
Om Sai Ram
hey shanu so rightly said dat it gives great satisfaction to giv sm one a reason to smile..infact i m tryin to bring smile to others even at my own doscomfort..coz it really is sucha noble thing to do...and i really think i wud keep doin dat..but then i m not expecting anything in return ..not even peace for my self..i just dont wanna ask for nething nor do i want to desire anything...look i am a very emotionl guy.. i was so madly in love with her dat i wud hav thrown away my life widout a second thought for her if she wud hv asked for it...those were my emotions which were so badly mocked..now i dont wanna risk myself being mocked again...i really think imust hav done some serious sins in my last birth tht i hav to go through all dis..and not even sai baba can change my past...
i went to shirdi because babaji said tht " jo koi dwarkamai ki stairs chadhega uske sab dukh dur ho jaenge"..i hv been there and to my knowledge, hv returned empty handed..but i dont blame others for dis..my own karma's are to b blamed.... i no longer contemplete sucide..but i hv no emotions left eith it either..i m just living..if breathing is wat we mean by living thn i wud live this life..would keep chanting babaji's name and b numb..dats it...nisha didnt care even if i cry..now it seems like dat even babaji didnt see my tears..so i wont shed any..i begger her, and she was indifferent..i begged to baabji..even he seemed to b indifferent..so guess its my own fault..nothing to b blamed on babaji... i hav to face the heat and noone can heal it..so let it be...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shanu jain on March 27, 2011, 01:01:32 AM
om sia ram shiveshwar ji..
aap acha kijiye kisne kaha kuch mango in return. wo to peace aur smiles apko khud se milti jayegi. u wil change sooner or later. time is bigest thing. hum khud suba se sham tak khali baithne k bad sochte hain kafi der ho gai ab kuch karna chaiy. its time only wich is asking u to change. nothing is static. and who said u have returned empty handed. its dere in ur mind kuki jo apne chaha ta wo nhi mila. but surely kuch mila h apko i can c dat wid u. aap apne abhi tak ke posts padhiye isi topic k under. kitni pain thi starting ke posts me aur at present ek relief hai. aur apke sins hain ya kisi ke naye karma only sai knows. its is sai's job to think who is comiting sins and who is performing gud deeds. wats next. al is sai's job. ap ku soch rahe ho. ap bhi unhi ke child ho. wo sochege apke liye kya sahi hai kya galat. ek kam kijiye apne bare me sochna chod do. socho nahi apko kya mil raha hai. socho nahi ap khush ho ya dukhi. ek schedule banao apna. usme kuch add karo aisi cheze jo pehle kabhi nahin kiya. like try new things. adventure ya naya kuch bhi apne taste se hatke. like soft music pasand hai to rock music try karo. agar blue color pasand hai to red color pehno. aise shows dekho tv pe jo kabhi nahi dekhe ho. jo purani life thi jo cheze pasand ti une standby mode me daal do. apna viewpt badlo. jis jaga pe baithna sabse jada pasand ta us jaga ko ignore mar do. aur jab kuch bhi samaj na aye to head phones laga ke hanuman chalisa ya kuch bhi aisa spiritual content jiska meaning clear ho apko pictures k sath use eyes close karke suno. believe me. wo 10 min ka chalisa bhi apko ek ghante tak ek aisi state dega ki aap khud se hi nahi chahte hoge kuch karna. dekho samjha bahut log sakte hain apko. mere jaise lakhon log kuch na kuch apko samjha dege. sai bhi apki help kar rahe hain apke andar se awaz ati hogi ab smile ya ye karoo ye acha h etc. its only sai. par wil power apki chy kuki change apko hona h. dunia ki taraf dekho sab apne me mast h kisi ko fark nhi padta ap kaise ho ku ho. agar ap pareshan ho to ho skta hai 10 min apko dekhe b soche b. uske bad sabhi apni lif me chale jate h. raat ko sote waqt apke apne bhi unconscious state me chale jate h. its only u who is feeling d pain par kisliye? isliy aur kuch nhi socho bas ek koshish karo ek aim dalo khud ko is sabse dur karne ka. eforts apko hi karne padege koi kuch bhi kahe fark apko nhi lgta jab tak sab waste h. isliy try to do things at ur own. try to gain motivation from ur iner self. sabse jada ap khud k sath rehte ho koi dusra nhi. isliy sabse acha companion to apme khud hi hai. aur apni life ka aim hai jo b career wise ya jaise b jo b socha ho kbi use achieve karne k liy eforts kijiy. i hope u wil soon find a new vista.

sai bles u...............
om sia ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 27, 2011, 01:25:52 AM
Om Sai Ram
haan shanu..i wud try to change everything arnd me..let it b d place, colours or taste...its the toughest phase of my life and i already feel d change in me...i really wantedto to b d same old shivi who was happy with nisha..but since babaji ke mann mein kuch aur hai, i will change...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 27, 2011, 09:44:26 AM
Om Sai Ram
i dont know wat to write...cant think anymore...i guess its all ordained..its all preplanned...why can't i feel d presence of babaji arnd me? can u hear  me my lord!
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 27, 2011, 01:42:52 PM
Om Sai Ram
yeah i hv downloaded it aabhu n m listening to it rite now.. n why do u say ki dont mind..come on.. i know u all r just giving ur shot to heal my pain.infact m grateful to u all for giving me ur precious time..i think god has really high hopes from me dats y m being put b4 such a dark phase :) but i guess he, for d first time, is wrong. coz m not strong enuf....in last four months i saw every dream of mine crashing down..i saw every hope of mine going down..i saw every smile in me withering away..i literally saw myself dying in each n every sec...wat i was four months back is completely gone..itfeels like i hav lost previous 24 years f my life..but i dont hv d advantage of starting frm scratch..coz i hv memories....but why m i talkin abt all dis..no point..hmm..yeah i m listening to SSC and wud keepdoin dat..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: Anupam on March 27, 2011, 03:12:36 PM
Sairam Shiveshvarji
Though not wanting to interupt your feelings kindly read what revealed scriptures, and specially Shree Guru Charitra says about suicide. The misery is not reduced but increases manifold as the mind does not die, but the soul is trapped in hell for a thousand years as suicide is counted as a sin greater than a massacre, so this step only increases the misery and helplessness a million times
Feeling Our Great Baba is very easy. Just look in his eyes everyday for some time and he will reduce all your miseries
Sorry but  be tough as life has lots of ups and downs. Objectively it is nothing but your mind which is playing havoc because you allow it to do
Om Sai Ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 27, 2011, 05:04:42 PM
Om Sai Ram
u know aabhu, i really connect to wat u say...and infact i feel for u as well...u r really a very strong gal.. i mean ur wait has been way longer than mine...and wat a commendable faith in babaji! m amazed..i just hope and pray to babaji ki let all ur wishes come true...let tomorrow b d day of great surprises for u..i just pray for u dear...
hmm...its been such a long night for me tht i hv forgotten wat its like to welcome morning light..nonetheless now i dont desire any...but i really wud pray to babaji to giv u wat u hav wanted for so long..! may ur patience is well rewarded and let it be tomorrow only...
its been gud to read u guyz and rply to u...u hv helped me a lot..though no1 can change my destiny, yet u all tried to comfort me..thnx guyz..i owe a lot to u all..
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 27, 2011, 05:10:33 PM
Om Sai Ram
Dear anupam its gud to hear frm u..hey i m no longer thinkin abt sucide..infact now i hav left everythnig on babaji...let him treat me d way he wants to..and as far as lookin towards babaji is concerned, i guess i looked in  babaji's eyes every possible manner known to me...with tears in eyes, with a heavy heart, with a thankful heart, with devotion ( watever i got)..but really culdnt feel d presence..but obviously somewhere it must hav been my fault...u all say u feel d presence...its only my case where i dont feel d presence of babaji..so problem is obviously with me...probably its not right time for me to feel his presence...so m just waitin n prayin..hopefully one day babaji wud look towards me also..i would also b blessed like u all guyz..till then m chanting his name with watever conviction, faith patience i got...
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shiveshwar on March 27, 2011, 05:35:00 PM
Om Sai Ram
dear Aabhu, ur prayers r heard and wud b answered..but i agree with u till the tme we meet our beloved again, memories wud haunt every passing minute...may babaji relieve u from this pain and bring smile back on ur face..tk cr ..om sai ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept my sucide
Post by: shanu jain on March 28, 2011, 03:26:38 AM
om sai ram shiveshwar ji.........

ek bat ka ans karoge kitne log kitna kuch keh rahe hain apko abhi tak bore nahin hue?? wel jokes apart. apne kabhi laughter shows dekhe hain usme kitne sahi se maried unmaried kitne relations pe kaise jokes karte hain comedians. kabhi dekhna wo just mazak nhi usme teachings hain ki world me aisa sab bhi hota hai. ek maried person extra afair karta hai aur bad me kehta h i was in love. ha ha. dekha ye bhi to pyar tha uska. kuch log jaise aap ho purely heart se sochte hain to une ye sab acha nhi lgta kuki wo pure soul hain. aap bhul chuke ho ki apme ek acha insan exist karta h. ab ye ques mat karna fir mere sath hi aisa ku hua. ya muje acha nhi hona etc. jo bhi hota hai use hum sab ek hi bar mein sab samajh jayege agar to param gyani ho jayege na. par abhi apko bahut kuch sekhna hai. spiritual buks padho usse samaj ayegi un ques ki b jo apke andar hain par ans nhi milta. like mere sath hi kyun hua aisa etc. soul alone hai hamesha earth pe use sirf sai complete kar sakte hain. baki kisi bhi chez ki existence nhi h. abhi ye sab apko lecture lagega. par think beyond ur tears. beyond negativities. try to search a positive indication. pehle apko life jannat lagti thi na. sab kuch nature world abhi bhi aisa hai par apne ek reason se apni nazre fer li hai. par kyun kiske liye? eforts karo utho ku khud ko punish karna. have faith in sai. tuti hui zindagi nhi utho auron ko bhi kuch sekhao samjhao. life waste nhi krni aise. make sai proud he has chosen u for an imp task. search that. perform ur duties. and ladke vaise bhi rote hue ache nhi lgte i think.. ha ha.. dont mind anything. fine aur kuch nahin to jab we met dekh lo.. ho sake to apne andar geet ko le aao. life wil b awesome...................

sai bles u alwaz..
om sia ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on March 28, 2011, 01:24:18 PM
Om Sai ram
hey shanu...u know dat evn god had to suffer wen he came on earth..let it be lord Ram where he had to stay away from maa Sita for so long..aur Krishna...infact d immortal love of Radha n krishna was imcomplete in earthly sense...yeah there is a lot to learn..as i hv already decided and hav already written in some on my previous replies that now i no longer ask nethin frm babaji..i wud never ask for nethin..if he is fine to see me like this den i wont ask for newthin..waise bhi as i hv already said ki mere chahane se kya hota hai..but i m having a very bad tast f life right now and nothing seems interesting..and it looks more like devdaas n less like jab we met..had it been few dayz bak..i wud hav wished it to be love aaj kal..but being realistic as of today, its going to be a cast away and tom hanks sort f life...its bit out of d topic but to b honest, u knowwatever baabji said dat how we shud believe and worship him..i used to have same feelings for her..full devotion faith love care ...dats y its been sucha difficult phase for me to accept her departure....but i wont seek mercy ne further...i hv to repay my sins...
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on March 28, 2011, 11:43:11 PM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar

Quote----------
and it looks more like devdaas n less like jab we met..had it been few dayz bak..i wud hav wished it to be love aaj kal..but being realistic as of today, its going to be a cast away and tom hanks sort f life..
------------------UNquote. LOL

I like this attitude of yours. See you still have your sense of humour intact, this is really nice.Use it more and more. The more you laugh on this phase and yourself more easier it will be for you to accept it. Of course it cannot ever eliminate the love you have for her. First Love is always forever, no matter how many beautiful people we meet afterwards.
Hats off to you.

But always keep thanking Baba for what he has given you. Good or Bad. The fact is, things could have been worse, but for him.So thank him that he stopped it at where it is.
He stood true to his words, ever since you have come from Shirdi, you are a changed person. And the more you pray all the more he will lead you in the correct direction.

We are humans, with extremely limited knowledge about anything at all. But if you retrospect your life from childhood till now, and analyze then you will see that things have fallen in place to complete the puzzle of your life. And the same will keep happening in future.It's ok if you are numb but keep praying to Baba. Never leave him.

Even negative attitude towards God is most humbly accepted by Him.

Look at Ravan, there was no comparison for his devotion to Shankar. But look at the way his mind worked on Him and he became a demon.
Look at Kans, Duryodhana, etc.

There are 2 beautiful things which  unites all these Demons, 1st is they all were in search of God. For killer intentions of course. But that was also respected by God. 2nd is that God himself had to come down to eliminate them

The point I want to make here is always look at as many positives of any problem or such situation. It will greatly help you in solving and overcoming hurdles.

good luck my friend.....and keep up your sense of humour.

Till then...Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shanu jain on March 29, 2011, 02:57:02 AM
Quote from: shiveshwar on March 28, 2011, 01:24:18 PM
Om Sai ram
hey shanu...u know dat evn god had to suffer wen he came on earth..let it be lord Ram where he had to stay away from maa Sita for so long..aur Krishna...infact d immortal love of Radha n krishna was imcomplete in earthly sense...yeah there is a lot to learn..as i hv already decided and hav already written in some on my previous replies that now i no longer ask nethin frm babaji..i wud never ask for nethin..if he is fine to see me like this den i wont ask for newthin..waise bhi as i hv already said ki mere chahane se kya hota hai..but i m having a very bad tast f life right now and nothing seems interesting..and it looks more like devdaas n less like jab we met..had it been few dayz bak..i wud hav wished it to be love aaj kal..but being realistic as of today, its going to be a cast away and tom hanks sort f life...its bit out of d topic but to b honest, u knowwatever baabji said dat how we shud believe and worship him..i used to have same feelings for her..full devotion faith love care ...dats y its been sucha difficult phase for me to accept her departure....but i wont seek mercy ne further...i hv to repay my sins...

om sai ram shiveshwar ji.......

fine devdas jaise jee kar bhi dekh lo.. ultimately kya hona hai.. agar she is dere in ur destiny she wil b bak. par d ques is til den kya???? apne as pas dekho 99%people r in love n among dem hardly 1% r living fine life. wat abt d rest of dem. yehi hai kahin koi cheat kar raha hai kahin family acept nhi krti. kuch bhi kar lo ultimately wahi hona h jo hona hai. is sabme ap kahan alag ho kisi se bhi. khud ki pehchan banao. dm me hi dekh lo sai baba help me ke under almost sabhi yehi keh rahe hain muje ye chaiy muje wo chy. ap b yehi keh rhe ho. aur usme b negative hote ja rhe ho ye sochkar ki meri galtiya h muje chukana padega etc. is sabme kya mil raha hai. apne as pas dekho jane kon kiska kab se wait kr raha hai. par is sabi me ek fact hai pata hai kya jo hamare last birth k karma hain wo hamein filhal pain de rahe hian. bas yehi sach hai isme kuch baki sach nhi h ye to ek reason hai ki apko ye pain kisi k departure se mil rahi h. aur is sabse bahar b nikla ja skta hai agar khud chahoge to. sabhi kehte hian mai uske liy jee raha hun muje uski khushi chy etc. par sach ye hai sabi khud khush rehna chahte hain khhud ko peace chahiy. par koi bhi is sach ko acept nhi krta. jo kar leta hai wo uske liy pray karta hai par apni lif ko hell nhi bnata. aur sabse bekar to ajkal ye chez hai ki human ko mind to mila hai fir bhi wo apne as pas dil se jada dekhta hai aur mind ka use hi khatam kar deta hai. like love hone pe use feeling ati hai ki tum jo aye to bat ban gayi. aur fir uske departure pe use tere nam hona hai. is sbse kuch nhi milta dear. apni duties puri karo wo kam karo jiske liy birth mila hai. aap step lo khud ki taraf. khud se ku bhagna. jab pray karte ho to apne liye peace mango dhundo. aur kucvh nahin. last birth me bhi jane kisse love hua hoga kisse mariage hui hogi. ab next me bhi jane kon ayega. love kitne time tak zinda raha fir???? kuch saal bas. aisi shortlived chez k liy kya pagal hona. achi chezo k liy maniac hokar dekho. sai nam ki dhun me khokar dekho. wo to vaise bhi ek aisa rasta hai jispe jane k bad apko love hi milega for sure. aj k time me to kisi chez ki bhi guranate nhi aur yaha to 4ever ki guarante warante sab hai. fir achi chez chuno apne liy. think in peace ki jo main kar raha hun uska outcome kya hai. kya isse main sach me koi gain kar raha hun ya aise hi los me hun. apne apko dekho mai kya kar raha hun kyu kar raha hun. pain to jitna sochoge mil raha hai us soch se hi badhta jayega. khud ko chalange kro kuch bhi ho jay mujpe fark nhi pdega. may sai bles u soon.............

om sai ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on March 29, 2011, 08:04:30 AM
Om Sai Ram
hey Shanu..i understand wat u tryin to point out..look wat i can conclude from ur posts is dat i should keep chanting babaji's name without any pain and with all joy..i shouldnt be sad and should think gud things abt life and believe dat watever babaji is doin is for my good.. and i should make an effort towards all dese..shanu let me tel u i so badly wanna do all dis..and i was doin it for last two years..i mean i was happy, was remembering babaji everyday and was thinkin only positive and gud abt life..but all f a sudden world changed arnd me..n m still tryin to cope up with dat..its just dat i can see where i move but wat i m facing is dat how to move to tht side..i can see wat i m supposed to do right now..its just dat i cant gather myself to do dat..and i dont remember d pain or memories..they r just omnipresent ..in every second...
and u know wat my biggest confusion is dis..should i move on and stop expecting nisha back or should i wait and expect dat one day bababji wud listen to my prayers...i dont know wat should i do...i can not accept d fact dat mein aur nisha sirf alag hone ke liye hi mile the..somewhere i hv dis feeling ki we share this realtionship not only in dis birth but in previous births as well..its wasn't a coincidence dat we met in this life and had a beautiful 5 years...dep in my heart i still hv hope dat one day she wud cm bak..one day sai wud listen to my prayers..and trusting sai baba is makin me not to move away from her..coz i hv faith in sai dat he wud bring her back to me..but then d wait is testin my patience and my emotions..u know at times i know wat i m supposed to do but i just cant do dat..i donno why
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on March 29, 2011, 10:24:42 AM
Om Sai Ram
yeah Aabhu m lookin for an answer to this question...its been a long dark night and i dont see d light at d end f d tunnel..but then i am not able to give up this hope as well...and dis hope is makin my patience tested..its killin me frm within......i hv truely loved her and its no crime to love someone......nothing is more painful thn watchin ur loved ones walkin away frm u...its sucha pain dat it takes away all d happiness frm u...oh sai baba..help us..help us now..we need u now ...dont delay it..please come to the rescue..giv us our love back...please babaji..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shanu jain on March 30, 2011, 05:24:05 AM
om sai ram shiveshwar ji..

u are rite at ur each point. i think u want to move on but just one thing is stopin u and dat is ur may be...... fine wait bhi karoge to kya hoga kuch time bad depresion ya slow life ya kuch bhi aisa negative. u can c relief to hai nhi wait kar rahe hi ho abhi jab. aur kya hoga agar wait nahi karte sab kuch time pe chod do sai pe chod doge to? kya apka love faint ho jayega?? ans is no agar ye truely love hi hai to. khud ko test karo.. aur jahan tak memories ki bat hai to dekho jab tak aap khud se revise karte rahoge ki wo time aisa ta itna acha ta etc to daily apka past refresh hoga jiski waja se apka present sticked hai us past me. kyun kar rahe ho refresh koi dar hai? pyar khatam ho jayega? ye kaisa pyar. yadein tab tak disturb karti hai mind me ati hain jab tak hum une aane ki permision dete hain. apna schul time yad karo. 7 standard me kaise te kya routine ta......... sab.. kuch yad aya. hardly koi incident yad hoga jab kuch hua ho. bas aur kuch nhi. aur ye jo time gya hai ye bhi kuch tim bad past ho jayega dhere dhere hoga sab. ek dum se to erase nhi hota. aur jaha tak apki confusion hai ki muje aage badhna chahiy ya wait krni chahiy. to ek bar is dm me hi wait krne walo se pucho wait ne kya dia une. kuch bhi nhi. kuki is wait me bhi wo roke sin comit kr rhe hain. kuch nhi aur. sai bhi unki madad karte hain jo chahte hain khud se kuch karna. aise merely wait karni hai to sab kuch chodo ek jaga baith jao aur bas wait kro. hum jante hain sab par ankhe band rkhna chahte hain. hamari sabki ye mentality hoti hai ki kuch bhi thoda acha mil jaye to hame lagta hai isse acha to kuch hai hi nhi. par kya aisa hai? nahin. dekho aap bhagwan nhi ho magic nhi ata. kon ho? ek am insan. fir kya guarante hai ki ye wait kuch degi apko. . khud ko cheat krke kya milta hai? jo bhi jayega apka apna jayega aur dunia me koi 2nd person nhi hai jiska kuch bhi jayega agar ap khud ko cheat kroge to. apne liye socho muje kya chaiy. aisa na ho is ek emotion me life jeeni b pade aur future me lge maine past me ku step nhi liya. may sai bles u to c d truth.

om sai ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on March 31, 2011, 02:19:15 AM
Om Sai Ram
no shanu i dont want to move on..i wanna hang on..wait karne se kuch nahi milta ye to nahi pata par move on karne ka bhi mann nahi h..today is one f those dayz where i m very low very upset...i dont see d hope..i m too hurt to b happy wid nethin else..shanu wat m gonna write here wont please anyone and m sure many wud b angry with me..but this pain is beyond me..i hv come this far due to my faith in babaji..i culd withstand d pain coz i had faith in babaji relieving me frm dis pain..but my hope my faith is shaking...everyday i think i shuld end dis lyf..but i postpone it with d hope tht tomorrow wud b d day when she wud cm bak..but now when i sleep dat hope is fading away and so is my faith and so is my life..i m ond edge..i hv this feelin son smthin gonna happen..either she is gonna cm bak or m gonna quit this lyf..i know m offending many by writing this probabaly including u..coz u all hv tried to convince me dat dyind aint solution..neither is living...i am sorry for wasting precious time of u all..but there r some people who r weak and i guess m one of them..i cant see my love walkin away..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shanu jain on March 31, 2011, 03:06:10 AM
om sia ram shiveshwar ji..

hm so finaly u are admiting ki u r weak and cant move on. gud atleast aap ek decision to le rahe ho. fine suicide hi karna hai. go on. ek ache se plan banao and remember jaise apni wait k words pe strong ho ispe b strong hi rehna. aisa nhi ki last moment pe dar jao. comitin suicid is too a very dificult job. well bas ek kam kar lena usse pehle. apke parents hain na jo galatfehmi me jee rahe hain ki aap unhe koi thodi bahut bhi khushiya dene wale ho unhe clear karte jana main apka koi nhi. unke mind me ache se dal k jana maine life kisi ko comit kr di hai ab uske nhi hone pe ja raha hun. dekho apne kya karna hai bilkul apka decsn h. kuch din tak dunia apko yad kregi. par sirf apke parents hain jo maut se pehle mar jayenge. to unhe tasalli dete jana ki main ja raha hun apna dhyan rakhna. ye duty to puri karo apni. fir shaheed hona. yahan dm me bhi kisi ki koi umeed nhi tut rhi. zindagi apki hai hamein kyun fark pdega. par filhal apko jo samaj ayega wo yehi ki ek strong decsn liya hi h jab ki marna hai to apne parents ki taraf duty to nhi puri kr skte aap kuki uske liy to zinda rehna pdega. par unhe dhokhe me rakhke mat jana pls. aap stil unmaried ho nhi jante parents word kya h stil. sai baba b maa kehke rote the ki une kabhi nhi mili. par aap to sab hote hue bhi jana chahte ho to jao. koi nhi rokega. rokega bhi to rukna nhi kuki aapne jeeni hai na zindagi rokne walo ne nhi. par pls d very last tim m sayin apne parents ko kehke jana aisa na ho ki apke jane k bad unhe har pal marna pade.
may sai helps u soon to find d way.
om sai ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on March 31, 2011, 04:33:26 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar,

Surprised to see your last post. your posts after the Shirdi visit were so fine. What happened all of a sudden?
Shiveshvar, the phase you are in right now is the most difficult, i know cause i have been there too.....and so many others on this forum.
It's absolutely fine to feel the way you are feeling....cry, sulk, remember her, feel the pain, the longing, the hurt. All of it is fine.
Take each day as it comes. As I said earlier, no matter what the world says First Love is Forever. One can just never totally delete it.
And broken heart never heals. It only pretends for the rest of the life. Whenever you write, I somehow just travel back to such times that I faced. I used to keep complaining to Baba, kept begging him, but not for once did I stop praying him.

This is the current situation of your life. Live it. Accept each day as it comes, good bad, ugly, worse. Dont think about tomorrow, and dont flow away in the memories of the past. Just today, only concentrate on today, say to yourself its a matter of 24 hrs only. tomorrow is a new day and anything can happen.

TODAY IS ALL YOU HAVE. SOAK IT IN AND LIVE IT.

What you want to do is your decision. MOVE ON OR WAIT. NO ONE ELSE CAN DECIDE FOR YOU.
It's fine, if you wanna wait. WAIT I SAY-

--->wait for Baba to answer you,
--->wait for your mind to be tired of thinking about her.
--->Wait till you are bored of waiting.

There is no rush of any kind. NO matter how strong anybody is, no one can breeze thru such phases. If they do, they have never really poured their soul in a relation. Just rewind your trip to Shirdi, and recollect what you felt when you were close to Baba. Did you feel any connection???
I would still suggest that  you randomly open SSC page after asking your question to Baba. I am sure Baba will answer you.

If you want to Move on then MOVE ON-
--> Move on to the next level of pain.Tolerance. Learn to tolerate pain, tolerate hurt, tolerate longing.
--> Move on to next level of Love, love Baba, feel the pain for Baba, long for Baba.
--> move on to the next level of your emotions. Feel sympathy, empathy, pity for yourself.
--> Move on to the next level of your character. Fighter, survivor, strong-willed.
--> move on to the next level of your studies, your career, your life
--> Move on in search of new goals, new morning, new day, new life.
--> Move on to the next level of beautifying your life.
--> Move on to pick up the pieces of your scattered heart.
--> Move on to help some one in need (of any kind)

Decide for yourself. To Move on or to Wait. But GIVE BABA A CHANCE.
When you were born, you came with a life of 100 yrs.Minus your current age. Whatever remains, gift those to Baba.Can you? Do you trust Him?
When Eagle is standing on Mountain Top, it does not think of what will happen if he throws himself to down. He knows God has given him wings to fly.
Take your chance. Throw yourself to Baba, and see how he holds you and soars you higher and higher. Dont expect anything, just throw yourself.
You seem to be a very intelligent and balance individual.

Remember.....Baba begins when everyone else has ended.

By the way, it is fine that you are cross with him. You will still find him around you.

I go cross with him often, yet, he always manifests himself in some mandir on the road, some picture on the rick/cab.
Just to tell me, "I am Listening, lady".


Till then....Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on March 31, 2011, 06:23:23 AM
Om Sai Ram
i dont know wat to say wat to think...m justfrd up with this phase...its irritating and its way too long...god doesnt hav mercy! he surely doesnt...it all makes me do all d wrong things in d world..it makes me believe there is nothing ight nothing wrong..only d way we look at it, perceive it makes d difference...why my past karma's haunting me..didnt i live long enuf in last births to pay back..why do i hav to carry burdens f past...i know i dont deserve this...all 23 years f my life i believed in god and this is wat i receive..tears ,pain and void?! is ther any god or its just another illusion on mankind..my enitre faith is in question..wat i believed all my life seems to me nothing but a gimmick..guess marx was right religion is d opium f d poor...i trusted and hav been betrayed...this all is makin my head burst..its gonna explode....i closed my eyes prayed to god please help me here..but guess he is too busy to hear or there aint no god.....everyone lied...there is no one to hear d prayer..its all fake..there is nothing right nothing wrong...just use everyone and get used
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shanu jain on April 01, 2011, 12:00:43 AM
om sai ram shiveshwar ji..

life is all about experiences. jo bhi ho raha hai wo kuch sikhane ke liye hai aapko. just wait and watch. surely a time will come when u will be realizing what is the truth behind such happenings. usually we loose control and blame sai for such things. but try to have patience. there is a deep meaning attached to all this. may sai bless u to remain patient at such difficult phase. may sai gives u eternal peace.

om sai ram...........
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on April 01, 2011, 12:07:27 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar,

you are right when you say, "There is no right, no wrong"

No one can decide that for others. Everyone takes decisions in their life, based on the limitations of their mind.
One guy decides the glass is half full the other decides half empty. Both are right in their own perspective.

How you percieve your situation is determined by the extent of your mind and intellectual.
However, bad people or evil people are never born. They become so, cause that's how far their mind can go in a problematic situations.
It is so weak that it cannot read or see beyond their ownself.

If you feel betrayed by God then so be it. But then remember, that this is world of Free Will.
God does not force or influence our decisions. He merely guides us. Whether to walk or not down that path is our choice.
We only expect good things from God, without giving much. we need to realize, that somethings what we demand can be expensive for us.
He might want to test you harder before he can give them to you. Can we not give that test? Why are we so scared?

This below poem is the first, which he brought me to this forum.
I was constantly crying to Baba and asking him, where is my answer, give me an answer, I cant take this anymore.
Please read this -

 




1) Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;                                                        
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.                                         2) “Wait! you say wait!” my indignant reply.
 I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate…                                           “Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
 and the Master so gently said, “Wait.” …….                                       Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
                                                                                                             By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
3) My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance, and you tell me Wait?                                   4) You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
I’m needing a ‘yes,’ a go-ahead sign.                                                    We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Or even a ‘no,’ to which I’ll resign.                                                       You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
                                                                                                             Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
                                                                                                             I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”
5) Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
as my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,                                  6)He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine…
and grumbled to God, ”So, I’m waiting… for what?”                          and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.                                                                            
                                                                                                           I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
                                                                                                          I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
 7) I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
 You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me                8) You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint.
                                                                                                             You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
                                                                                                             You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
                                                                                                             You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
9) You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You’d never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.                         10)You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
                                                                                                             But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
                                                                                                             The glow of My comfort late into the night,
                                                                                                             The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
11) The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
 From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
 You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,                          12) Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
                                                                                                              what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
                                                                                                                      but, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.

                                  13) So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see, that the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.    
                                 And though oft My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all is still… “‘Wait”




I have read these 2 very beautiful books, which I strongly recommend for you. Please read it.

--> The Secret , by Rhonda Byrne
--> The Laws of Spirit World by Khorshed Bhavnagri

Read them and let me know your review.

Till then...Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on April 11, 2011, 07:25:30 AM
OM SAI RAM

i would like to hear from him too.
Just a little worried, that he hasnt done anythng untoward.

Can ADMIN contact him in some way and check if everything is fine with him????

Till then....Keep  Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shanu jain on April 11, 2011, 10:54:35 AM
om sai ram..

i think he is loosing faith.. ya shayad naraz hai kuch baba se......... wel.. sai bles him soon.

om sai ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 15, 2011, 04:37:01 AM
its been long tht i havent posted nething on this blog..actually didnt know wat to write..abhi bh nahi pata kya likhun..tears just roll down wenever i think of her...its been 5 months now..yesterday i went to mathura ..had darshan of dwarika dheesh and janam sthaan..lord krishna and radha's vigrah was so beautiful..it was amazing...not a day has passed wen i havent remembered babaji..my heart keep prayin all day..m shattered and m lost...dont know wat to do next..m tryin very hard to think and gather myself..yes m disapponited with life and above of all m disppointed with god...but dont know why i always end up in some mandir..? i read ur posts .it appeared u all were worried for me..m sorry for being away for so long..m just 23 and i hv hav a broken heart cant deal with it in a commendable manner..where is god? wat is he doing? why me? why this to me? cant he forgive my sins? why babaji so harsh on me? wat wrong hv i done? i just loved someone from my heart and i guess it seems like a crime..and i m being punished for dat..wat went wrong..? n now i cant trust anyone..i hv got this trust deficit..i just cant love any person..i hv started hating life and people around me..all seems false gimmick illusion...thank you god for giving me this pain ...shayad i deserve it....par bas itni shikayat hai ki jab usse mujhse wapas hi lena tha to diya kyun? and just one more request dont giv me nething which u r going to  take away from me..if pain is smthin u can giv me all life long if loneliness is wat u wanna giv me please do dat but now dont giv me any happiness..i dont want the comfort of happiness coz after such comfort i wont b able to take d pain...god i m upset qwith u n i know u dont care that whether i m upset with u or not, yet i hv to say it..i m  sure i disapponited i god but u also disappointed me lord..now if tears is wat u hv given me ..keep it going...dont give me even d sight of happiness coz widout her i dont want nething..just do one favour giv me all d tears..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shanu jain on April 15, 2011, 05:41:07 AM
om sai ram shiveshwar ji..

so finally u answered. disappointed ho koi bat nahi. abi shayd time lage apko samajne me par dhere dhere al such things wil vanish. we are so small to think and decide whether god is doin rite or not. just 1 thing to say ki hame utna nahi pata jitna pata hona chy god ki doings ko samajne ke liy. par d ques is ki ab kya kiya jaye jab ye sab ho raha hai hamari life me jo hamari wil k agnst h to bas patient raho. khud ko apno ko khush rkho. khud se path dhundna pdta h. and no doubt step hum le rahe hain lekin guidance sai se hi milti hai. bas visible nhi hota sab. isliy dont ques bas jaise zindagi le ja rahi h usme b positiv dhund kar acha sochte hue chal do. a day wil surely com wen u wil b realisin past me kya hua kya nhi. aur sai ka smaran rakhoge to galat steps b nhi loge. to life ko test lene do. khud se acha hi karo. bas. jab samaj nhi ata ye sab ku kisliy kab tak mere sath hi ku. use sab sai ke charnon me chod do une hi dekhna h sab tume tensn lene ki need kya h. let him do. u wil find peace soon..
sai bles u..

om sai ram.......
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on April 15, 2011, 06:10:37 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar

Thank Baba you are safe. You had us worried there.

All that you posted, have been there and done that.

However, the Best part is you are hanging in there. and the sweetest part is your journey to pilgrim places.
Take one day at a time. fight it as it comes.
And at the end of the day, just pour it all to Baba.
He takes everything in his stride, love, hatred, anger, frustration, etc. He is your Punch Bag forever.

IN Mahabharat, Krishna asked Kunti (Pandava's mother) what do you want...guess what she replied
She asked for Pain, suffering and sorrows. Surprised Krishna asks her why?? She says, in pain and suffering, I will chant your name and you will always be with me. You have done the same thing, only for different reasons.

Your pilgrimages are probably Baba's way of telling you to start loving him as he is. You accepted Nisha, and love her unconditionally, with all her shortcomings and limitations. By calling you to all the temples, Baba is telling you try to put the same Love and commitment towards me.

Why not do that?? What have you to lose?? You are smart, sensible and strong person. But give Baba and Time, some time to heal you.
All the questions you have posted, Baba will answer. For that you need to sit in front of Him, cool and calm. With all worldly thought deleted.
Go ahead and listen to his answers.

BTW, even if there is nothing to write,  post OM SAI RAM, just to know that you are there, live and kicking ;)

Till then...Keep Praying!!!


Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 17, 2011, 05:53:58 AM
i need ur help baba..plz come to save me
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 17, 2011, 09:05:00 AM
baabji i really need my nisha back...jab kahun aur se umeed na ho..jab kismat ne bhi darwaza band kar diya ho to bas sirf aap hi usse khol sakte ho..babaji na jaane meinne kitne sins kiye honge knowingly unknowingly in this birth or in previous births..but aap ke siva koi aur maaf bhi to nahi kar sakta na..mujh se sab kuch le lo par bas nisha nahi...n babaji with each passing second m becoming more n more saddist..its like now not only i want her back but m angry at her as well..please babaji aap hi ho ab to bas....meri ardaas sun lo mere baba...deva dekh lo  ek nazar mujh pa bhi..chaho to aap khuda bhi de sakte ho phir insaan ki to baat hi kya h..meine to bas ek insaan maanga hai...aapki marzi ke bina to ek patta bhi nahi hilta phir insaan ki tu baat hi kya hai..ek baar sai bas ek baar rehmat ki nazar idhar bhi kar do..babaji meri nisha de do aur sab kuch le lo mujhse..ek baar bhi dubara nahi maangunga kuch bhi..chaho to u cn test me..tk all away n giv me my nisha back...please babaji..aap to jaante hain meri feelings ko..aap to jaante hain she means everything to me..dont take away my life..please...
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 17, 2011, 03:19:20 PM
m sleeping wid hope dat babaji next morning i wid wake up wid her cal..sab kuch aapke haath mein hi hai....i will wait..wait til i hv strength to breathe
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on April 18, 2011, 04:28:52 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar,

Only 2 things to tell you:

1) Reflect on every single day since Nov. 10. Who's name have you taken more than her or after her?? Think of all the difficult situations that you were in, who was there with you?? When you get the answer, start repeating that name and thank them.

2) Why are you crying and running around??? Your name itself is whom you are calling. And as Baba's says, dont search me everywhere.
YOu will find me in you, cause you are one with me.
And you my friend are- SHIVESHVAR  -- Shiv and Ishwar.

Where else can you find him but in YOU. Stop running around and look within you. You will so your whole future unraveling in front of your eyes.
Go ahead and embrace it.

Shiv is patience personified. When he gives, he gives with all his heart.Millions of stories to prove that.
Then why ask something as temporary as this earth or our life? Why not ask for his love, support and companionship which will last no matter where you are, heaven, hell or earth??

I still very strongly feel that you should read:
1) The Laws of Spirit World - Khorshed Bhavnagari.
2) the Secret - Rhonda Byrne

Read them, they will open a new window in your life.

Till then...Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 18, 2011, 06:40:36 AM
hi kirti
kirti u know wen i was 8, i had read entire " Mahabharat". my childhood has surrounded around spiritual books and i hv grown up listenin about great saints their teachings.  wen i was 12 i went to 50 day trip to uttarakhand and had d good fourtune of meeting great saints. i went to badrinath kedarnath and all places and i completed the journey by foot to offer my gratitude to almighty. i hav my guru since i was 10. my guruji's name is swami chidvilasananda ( gurumayi in maharashtra thane). wen i was 14 i spent months in my guruji's ashram doing seva. to sum up i hv been brought up in a very spiritual environment. where respect devotion love and sharddha is considered as most important virtue.
my parents told me tha i was a very sensible kid. never ever asked for anything not evn for toys. i was never demanding as a kid. never cried. but u know kriti, with all spirituality around, i always wanted to pick my own life partner. i always wanted to love someone. i never ever was so adamant. i never forced god to giv me smthin. infact my mom used to take my advice ( though i was just a teenager) in crunch situations because of my rational ideas and very firm belief in god. i always used to tel her jo hota hai acche ke iye hi hota hai..i had a difficult phase during my 12th. it was horrible can evn explain u how pathetic it was. but not for a second i lost hope or faith. i had firm belief ki things wud improve and my god is wid me.
and den i met nisha. and i just surrendered my soul to her...she was more than nethin more than god to me. i had given up myself my eg my identity for her love. ..and after 5 years of happy life all came to an end. that too i cant attach this sort of attitude to my nisha. it is weird and strange. i dont know wat happened all f a sudden... n kirti i , for d first time, lost faith in god. yes i did loose...dat gal was more than god to me..! and my god left me..! my entire belif faith and upbringing came to a question.. i just cant stand this loss..i know books hv amazin power and knowledge...its just tht i know how to cure myself but i dont want to...i want my nisha back..for d first time m adamant wid god ki giv me wat i want..all my life u dictated terms.let me hv s say in this first and d final issue...and to b honest wid all f u ..nothing can heal me but nisha..i would trade my heaven for her...agar yahaan mera dil tuta to mein nahi uth paonga no matter how much i know or read...ye meri zid h aur shayad bhagwaan ko sunni hi padegi....
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 18, 2011, 06:54:31 AM
i was very proud of d fact ki mein kabhi dukhi nahi hota tha..yes its true!! i never cud get upset for long t max 5 min..!! no matter wat happened there used to b a smiling heart inside me..and i used to tel this to nisha ki i never get upset.. i actually cant....but ab to wo pal nahi hota jab dil na dukhi ho.....my life has changed completely...now even d most insignificant things make me come to my knees..i hv lost love i hv lost courage and will to fight..i cant see nethin.its blurred. ..sai baba wherever u r, please come soon...dont delay it..i know u plan better than me but plz see i m tired m sick..babaji aa jao..meri mannat puri karo na deva...aap ke paas se koi khali haath nahi jaata...baba meri sapne ko hikikat mein badal do deva..mera intzaar ab khatam ho deva....mere baba i see ur refuse i beg for ur mercy...baba intervene please and bring my love to me..please babaji
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 18, 2011, 10:13:00 AM
just asked babaji a question on this site dat will nisha come back to me? if yes, when? and i got this answer "
An incident will happen on Sunday afternoon.  Even if you hide anything it will be disclosed.  You will get success by remembering Shree Sai"
 can neone explain this to me? what does it mean ki even if u hide smthing it will be disclosed??? i dont see nethin which i m hiding ???
Om sai ram
Om sai ram
Om sai ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on April 19, 2011, 03:51:01 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear Shiveshvar,

Life is an ever learning process. We can never say we have achieved all knowledge. Any thing and everything adds value to our existence.
Lord Dattatreya, himself said that Dogs are also my teachers.
We should always keep our minds open to new ideas, never know what can help us at what time.

And I am really surprised to know that despite all that you have read you are stuck in this phase.

I presume you have read "The Bhagwat" which describes the biography of Krishna. there is one whole chapter on Love which is so beautifully written. How is it that you are not able to understand the meaning of Love???

Have you tried calling her or met her and spoken extensively on this topic?? Try doing it yourself first. If you truly love her then meet her and talk to her. Get to know what she wants. If you feel you can give her that, then convince her.
If she does come back, understand, that you would not have won her back. You would have merely forced against her will.
One cannot force anyone to fall in love. It just happens.
As for Baba's answer wait n watch till Sunday. Meanwhile make sure you have nothing to hide at all.


May Baba bless you.

Till then...Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 19, 2011, 05:39:27 AM
hi kirti yeah u r right no one can be foeced to love.n i truely n firmly believe in dat..but look we fell in love and we were together for five lovely years...now dat was love..and not forced..but all f a sudeen one day she tell me ki she feels a void dat she is leavin me..not dats botherin me..wat iad i know for sure, was true love..but wat went wrong..her behaviour is uvery strange and weird and i cant attch this attitude to her..so dats bothering me..obvioulsy m not askin for a gal for whom i hv one sided love and she doesnt want me..i m talkin abt gettin smone back who was wid me but widout ne reason all f a sudden changed..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 19, 2011, 06:19:06 AM
n kirti i did try to contact her i called her mailed her 1000 times ..cried begged tried every way possible but she went completely indifferent..u know d day she broke up with me on dat very morning she sent me a very loving and very cute msg..but all f a sudden we had a fight n afternoon and she left me til date..i m just clueless as to wat happened..she cud not hv seen me crying evn for a sec but al lf a sudeent she went indiffernet to my sobbing..and i guess it has smthin to do wid sm ocuult science..coz m sure my nisha was not like dis..but i suspect sm occult work done on her is makin her go away..m just askin babaji to help me n giv me my old nisha back..kirti mine n her parents knew abt us..we were to get married next apri 2012..everything was in place..it was more than nething for both f us..i had stayed wid her for two months in australia 3 mothns before she left me..but i hv babaji's reguge to seek...only he can change d events..he made us come together only he can bring her back...i lit deepak before baabji wid her for those two months i had accpeted her as my wife..n now i cant take it back..she is my wife and i pray to babaji to giv my wife back..she was only love f my life and now only babaji can turn my luck my way..he is omnipotent ..its not a world of free will and babaji guide us and only he can change her heart...mujhe sirf babji ks hi aasra hai..mere deva meri sunege..there wud cm a day wen he wud bring me back wid my nisha..til then or till d time i breathe i wud keep prayin to babaji....i know i may sound bit romeo but then she was my radha and only babaji knows how much i loved her..i wud hav traded her hell wid my heaven and still ready to do dat ..i just want her back
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 19, 2011, 08:21:20 AM
radhe krishna radhe krishna ..krishna krishnaa radhe radhe....

om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 20, 2011, 12:27:23 AM
om sai ram
o my dear lord.! babaji come soon..! u r my only hope..u hav always helped me..u hav alwaz been there wid me..u guided me on every step..babaji guide me here as well..come to my rescue again..please..u know everything..u know wat i want..m waiting for sunday....i m hopeful tht u wud bestow ur blessings on me..please sai..u hav seen me in last 5 months..u hv seen my condition..please ab to aa jao...
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shanu jain on April 20, 2011, 04:56:45 AM
Quote from: shiveshwar on April 20, 2011, 12:27:23 AM
om sai ram
o my dear lord.! babaji come soon..! u r my only hope..u hav always helped me..u hav alwaz been there wid me..u guided me on every step..babaji guide me here as well..come to my rescue again..please..u know everything..u know wat i want..m waiting for sunday....i m hopeful tht u wud bestow ur blessings on me..please sai..u hav seen me in last 5 months..u hv seen my condition..please ab to aa jao...

om sai ram shiveshwar ji..

dont have words to say. not geting how to say. par think of one thing agar aake wo kahe main tumse pyar nahin karti. fir? wat u wil b doin den?
sai bles u..

om sai ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on April 20, 2011, 06:16:03 AM
OM SAI RAM

Dear All,

Below is in general and my opinion.


When in trouble, or problem you cannot solve, and have resorted to Baba's feet,

Please remember:
1) There is no easy way out to anything. No shortcuts.
2) Decide what you wanna do, give up or hold on.
3) If holding on then remember, IT IS NOT EASY. You will be tested and tried by most toughest circumstances.
Your determination will be tested to the core.You will be tested for the sacrifices you are ready to make, Family, their health, their happiness,
friends, loneliness, etc. etc.
4) Baba is the biggest healer, but even he needs time. How much do you have????
5) Before questioning Baba, Question ourselves.
6) More than faith, first have patience.....faith will follow..
7) 1st give to Baba these 2 small things, and then demand all you want. He will give.
8) Give to Baba and see him return ten-fold, whatever you offer, bhakti, money, love etc.....

Till then...Keep Praying!!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: PiyaSoni on April 20, 2011, 06:28:28 AM
OMSAIRAM

Vry true kirti ji

Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 20, 2011, 01:33:18 PM
Om Sai Ram
Yes shanu she has already said it to me dat she doesn’t love me any more ..she said dat anger overpowered her love for me..but I didn’t believe her..i didn’t see conviction in her voice..and dats y m hangin in here..m waiting…
U know kirit m walkin a dark tunnel..i don’t know whether it has an end or if at all it has end will it be nisha t d end..but m walkin ..i wil keep walkin till I hv strength to fight.i will keep chanting babaji’s name..i will bank on his words dat ask and I shall give..i don’t hav light here in tunnel its dark..i don’t hav clue dat will I get nisha in d end..but wat I hv is babaji’s name, his words…but am also very admant spoiled brat..i wont tk nethn but nisha from babaji..m just like a kid who wants a candy from his dad..now even if dad offers him a icecream along with topping he wont take it coz he is stuck at candy! i will walk till I hv strength to walk..i will cry til I can..this suffering is worth taking for her…kirti evn I don’t hv an idea how much I love hr..dts y I say babaji only u know my feelings..
But d day I stop walkin I loose this hope dat she is gonna cm bak..den I hav nothing but a sorry for everyone..coz I wont continue after dat..god has to listen to me or else I wont adhere to this life which he gave to me..i m adamant and wont agree on nethin but nisha…I know babaji  wud help me…if stone can leave its nature and start floating in sea just coz f raam naam.babaji can certainly change d wind for me and bring my love back..i m just waiting wen he does dat..om sai ram…she will come back
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 20, 2011, 01:44:33 PM
Om Sai Ram
aabhu u hav said smthin which is close to my heart as well..there is nothing more satisfying thn bringing smile to others by any way...u know i hv been extendin my help to anyone who has come to me..though m tryin to extend this work but i didnt go very pro actively ihere..but yes m thinkni on dese lines for long..on 30th my exams r endin..so i wud b goin home..there i wud try to bring smile to some kids in sm way..tnxs dear for suggestion..and who says u r nt doin nethin since u r abroad and bit cruch on financial frot..u r doing a great job dear! u r counselling idiots like me..wasting time n energy on dumb people like me and offering ur kind words..its commendable dear..i really look for ur replies..aabhu i wish ki tumhari iccha puri ho..u deserve better..may babaji bestow u wid all his grace...may u see d light very very soon..
par aabhu this is more than my strength..i cud hav fought wid d entire world any problem had nisha been on my side..but here m alone..m just nothing widout her...i dont know mujhe ni pata par baabji ko meri sunni hi padegi..kaise bhi anyhow he has to...please..babaji WILL definitely show his mercy on us...
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 20, 2011, 11:08:38 PM
Om Sai Ram
waiting is d hardest part..that too widout knowing tht whether u will hav wat u want in d end or not.?! every morning starts wid d wait and d day ends on d same note...questions, answers doubts fear restlessness follow all day long...and wen d fear becomes unbearable, its babaji's name which i chant to hold me tight..and yes he is giving me d power to hang in...
i dont know why..but i always sense somehow ki its not gonna end like this..there is more to the tale..no matter how much my mind pushes me to think its over, my heart somehow feels its not d end..somehow i feel i wud hv her back..somehow i think there wud b a miracle..! i dont know how its gonna happen or when but my heart says it wud..my world crashed in just a second on 16th november widout any indications..i guess nd believe fate wud tk a turn again just like it did previously..silently and suddenly...m waiting for d day it does...babaji is kind and i hv put it in his feet...
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: hawk on April 21, 2011, 02:18:00 AM
Hi Shiveshwar, I can understand how you feel. It is so hard to understand when someone you love or at least share some bond with leave or betray your heart. I had such an experience (let's not go into that. I am practicing sharda and saburi). I take it that maybe there is some karmic debts that I need to pay for through this trials and tests. When it happened to me, I thought my world would come to an end. My heart felt a stabbing pain(heart break is real!). But the world does not come to an end it continues as normal but I spiral into depression and wonder why me! One day I had a dream, in that dream I saw a new temple build for Hanuman. When I work up, I decided to google Hanuman and one of the links was a youtube to Hanuman Chalisa. I watched it. First it grated on me but I continue to watch over and over again. And wonders never cease, my depression went away after a few days! Now i listen to Hanuman Chalisa everyday and it cheers me up to no end and also with Hanuman's grace cos I was blasting Hanuman Chalisa in the car, I avoided a serious accident! But of course my original problem is still there. So, I just could not peace in the heart. Than maybe it is a miracle, maybe Sai Baba send Hanuman in my dreams first, but I was going through youtube and I came across a story on Shirdi Sai Baba. So i googled more on this Guru and was blown away by his story. I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace and love after reading about him and looking at his pictures. And that night, he gave me a dream that showed maybe the reason why this happens in the first place. So far, I had several dreams from Sai Baba. I use to consult lots of astrologers etc. But this time, I decided to submit to Baba. I have asked him to help but whatever is the outcome, it is up to my Lord.
So my friend, I understand how you feel but you are destroying yourself. Your ex does not care if you do. This is the best advice I can give you, just live your life well and don't contact her. Let her be free to think and decide. Once she see you are not trying to control her, I believe things will improve.
God (I mean Sai ) bless.
OM SAI RAM
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Kirti1 on April 21, 2011, 04:19:20 AM
OM SAI RAM



REKAO KA KHEL HAI MUQADDAR
REKHAO SE MAAT KHA RAHE HO


Shiveshvar, my friend, you are still not getting it.
Nisha has not been with you since last 6 months. How have you survived??
Can you acknowledge the fact that Baba has been instrumental in that??

My Love had faced the same when he was 21. The girl, without saying anything was getting married in a week. He and his mom were going to pay the token to buy a new flat for them.
He ran around for 1 week, but she would not talk to him. He even drove her in the car from her home to the mandap, hoping she would change her mind. Negative.
Six months later he drank poison, but destiny had different plans. His mom reached home took him to hospital and he was brought back from the last stages of poisoning.
this is not it, at the same time I was in Baba's temple in Shirdi, attending the evening Aarti. That was my 1st and last ever darshan, I told Baba,
I want to marry someone who has lost all faith in Love. I want to show him what true love is, and be with him no matter what. Doesnt matter how he looks and how much money he has, or even if he is a spoiled brat. The decision of my marriage I leave it to you, but this is what I want to do.

Seven years later, I met him, our relation lasted for 3-4 months only, but look at the mark it has left. Now my whole life is dedicated to him. If I can t marry him, I want marry at all.

Ever since our separation, Baba is the one with me, and guiding every single way, that is why I have lasted 4-5 years.
All thanks to my Baba.
Make your inferences, and get inspired if it is so

Till then...Keep Praying!!!

Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 21, 2011, 04:48:51 AM
Om Sai Ram
its been only becoz of baba dat i cud survive dese 5 months...i cant control nisha and wat she does with her life..but i can ceratainly decide wat i wud do wid myself..i wont let destiny write a life for me widout nisha..if destiny got its own attitude den i got mine as well...if it offers me a life widout her i wont hesitate to throw it away...
but i hv faith in baba...he is omnipotent..he is not bound by rules of karma..since bhagwaan is bound by laws of nature, he sent saints for us..babaji is beyond karma cycle..wat even god can not do, babaji can since he is not bound by laws f nature..dats my understanding..n dats y compassionate saint can giv u wat even god can't..their wish their thought becomes d law...and m sure my destiny wud b written by babaji and he surely wont ignore my only desire..he surely wont ignore my pain...m just waiting for babaji to show his mercy..and i asked babaji a question and he answered me to wait for sunday afternoon..it may sound over optimistic but i wud lov to b dat..this wont b a false prophecy..it wud materialise..i wont kneel down to fate..i wud try to walk in shadow of babaji and my heart says i wud b untouched by any destiny..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 21, 2011, 04:59:41 AM
Om Sai Ram
u know sai baba has alwz helped me..and m 100 % confident he wud come to my rescue again...everything every incident seems to me as if it has been planned by babaji and to my understanding ant to my heart it seems dat this entire phase is to teach me and guide me..bt m sure he doesnt plan to make me live widout her..babaji can not do dis...and i dont believe ki its we who take decisions..to my understanding not even a single thought can pop up widout his mercy..and dats wat we say wen we go to any temple ki hum nahi aae hain babaji ne bulaya hai...from where we get these thoughts.its all his grace..and since he is d source i dont see any reason why he wuldnt bring it in her mind as well...we r just puppets..d strings r in babaji's hands...and he wud make a happy ending for me..babaji i fully trust u..i know wat u doing must b f some gud to both me n nisha..and all wud end up in a happy way..u r just amazing babaji..ur way f doing things r different and at times painful but m sure in d end its all worth...coz in d end we hv wat u want and we hav u and we hav lov for u and u hav kripa on us..a win win situation for everyone...u r mysterious ways wud soon demystify itself and my heart wud again see a sunrise..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 21, 2011, 01:26:01 PM
Om Sai Ram
yes my dear i really wud make every effort to b a better human being and try to bring smile on many faces..dats a very nice idea...and yes all credit goes to u..thnx for advising me...u know abhu after my college m gonna join indian army ....its been my childhood dream..i alwaz wnted to stand n fight for my country..so dis again wud b my way f servin my nation....
i dont know why but all f a sudden m filled wid all positive thoughts....u know dis sunday is gonna change my fate...! m just waiting for dis sunday....u wud b d first one i wud contact dat day wen she wud come back...oh m already so excited...aajkal m regularly chanting this dhun...radhe krishna radhe krishna,  krishna krishna radhe radhe..its a beautiful chant..the love of radha n krishna is so pure n true..its amazin to see radha's love for krishna...and her patience...
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 21, 2011, 11:30:40 PM
om Sai Ram
hey why were u having a highly tensed face??? MUJHE TO ITNA GYAN  deti ho aur khud dekho dukhi ho....yaar tum na dukhi mat raha karo..ek baat batao if u dont mind tellin me for privacy reasons, where do u live i mean in which country.?
pata h aabhu nisha last 2 saal se stayin in australia and i went twice to meet her...for last one month she is in india and she did not try to contact me evn once...bas babaji ka naam le kar hi kat rahe hain din raat..i pray to babaji to come to my dream n guide me..but abhi tak ni aae wo ek baar bhi..pata nahi kyun??
aabhu u know fate is very mysterious...2 months b4 our fight nisha told me ki shivi (my nick name) one very good astrologer friend of her told her dat shivi is gonna leave u very soon for sm other gal..and i mocked at such prediction and look ..someone left someboby..but it was she who left me..dat too widout ne reason..
om sai ra om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram..
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 22, 2011, 10:41:10 AM
Om Sai Ram
when every door is closed when darkness surrounds the heart, when mind stops working and heart halts beating..when light becomes an alien concept, its sai who guides you home..its sai who gathers u, holds u tight and show u the path...d wounded heart seeks refuge in babaji..my dear babaji i NEED you..i WANT you.. bring me back wat i lost...only u can...i hv no one but you...i believe in you and i sincerely come to ur refuge...giv me shelter and giv me my love back...its all upto you my dear lord!
dont let this hope die..dont let me go away....i wanna stay in ur kind shadow...
oh babaji! accept my prayer..ur words are so comfortable wen u say ask and i shall give...wen u say why to fear when i m there for u..i m not afraid coz u here..m confident dat babaji wil bestow me with my love..this heart says so..i trust u my deva...
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 24, 2011, 12:00:02 PM
Om Sai i was waiting anxiously for sunday..two things happened today..first nisha has reached back to australia today and second news is a sad one..satya sai baba passed away in d morning...but nothing happened which wud mean dat my miseries r comin to an end..i doono why but nothing seems to hv happened!..wen i asked d question few dayz back i was told to wait til sunday..on saturday , i again asked d question just to ascertain dat its really is true..and to my surprise again i got d answer dat tomorrow u wud hv success...so all more reasons to wait..but guyz nothing happened.! what went in there??m sad, and depressed....i was told its gonna b today but nothing happened...its still 1 hour left in d day but...i wanna shout shot very loud....its irritating and very frustrating...i wanna break all rules and just go mad at everything...whyyyyyy....
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 24, 2011, 12:09:26 PM
Om Sai Ram
arre aabhu i wasnt askin so dat u cn help..i simply asked out curiosity.....tk care..
om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram om sai ram
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 24, 2011, 03:17:45 PM
om sai ram
so one more hope vanished...sunday has ended widout ending my wait! how did it go? i was so optimistic dat babaji has answered dat sunday i wud see success...not once but twice on differnt dats igot d same answer..but nothnig happened.....what can i do..m stuck here...seems like there is no hope for me..why culdnt sai answered me ki i hv to wait..or pay ur debts..why i got d answer ki sunday wud bring me success??why..i prayed with heart ki please answer me..and babaji answered..and yet m stuck.i wanna stab myself real bad...god u really r very tolerent...u got amazin patience to see ur kids cryin..hats off to ur courage and patience..hardly u wud see any parent watchin their kids bleed..but u truely r maginficient at it..clinical and very professional....rules are rules...but then why did u break ur own oath when u grabbed wheel of RATH in mahabharat and ran to kill bhishma! why did u strike at bali from behind in ramayana! why did u ask bheem to hit duryodhan below waist..why did u bring cloud cover to confuse kaurava and enable arujana to kil jayadratha??!!! u truely are amazin..when u break rules its fine..!
but when we react when we suffer u simply say come on dude u goota pay ur debts!! when we pray u say b patient..great...u say i wud cm to help u...and when we call for ur help u dont evn pick our prayer...people wud say dat evn god had to suffer..evn ram had to stay away from maa sita..or even krishna had to be born in jail and leave Radha coz of call of duty...but then they broke rules as well.!!
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shiveshwar on April 24, 2011, 04:25:07 PM
Om sai ram
my heart is asking me at 2 30 in night where r u..m far away from sleep and my mind is constantly questioning my heart actually mockin it!! it says wadd u p dude wat happened!!u were so stupid to believe dat this sunday is gonna change things..! so where is d change..my heart is speechless..it doesnt know wat to say...babaji where r u ...its helpless right now and prayin dat if at all u cud cm and answer on behalf f my heart..but but but..no answer.....
at times circumstances really show u ur place..i mean u feel so helpless...and d person u repose ur faith in doesnt show up...i reposed my faith in nisha and she left me..i reposed my faith in babaji and he hasnt turned up..i reposed faith in myself and i flunked...so basically its all including myself didnt help...this is a mad mad world......seriously u may hav helped bilions but u hv really ditched me....
and i m not to b blamed..u urself said in sai sacchritra dat i do fulfill materialistic desires f my devotees..though u expect thm to ask for spiritual gains...but thn this is ur way of doing things..dat u giv thm wat they want and ask thm to lead a virtuous life....for me god is one who can giv me my nisha back...and no one is doing dat...so i guess there is no god for me...
since either u dont wanna help me or u dont exist..either case i wont come on this forum again...im going to bed and wen i wake up i wud never ever believe in god....i guess its time to say quit..and as far as my sucide in concerned i guess dats d only solution left to me and its just matter f time dat it..let there b right moment and rush f emotions and i wud say my adieu
good luck to everyone who has been tryin to help me out..aabhu kirti shanu and everyone...thnx guyz but i guess m nt gud enuf and i cant continue...aabhu specially u..may u hv atevr u want and lemme noe if i can b of any help..ever..and same for u kirti..may u hv all d luck in ur life...i wont b comin agai on dis forum so there wud b no contact.  shiveshwar.yadav@gmail.com is my id..if at all i cn b f any help to u guyz do lemme noe....but dont b too late if u want nethin...and if i dont rply u know wat does dat mean...m sorry for wasting ur time....
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: shanu jain on April 25, 2011, 02:29:41 AM
sai bles u alwaz........... may time opens ur eyes to make u c wats d truth.................

om sia ram..........
Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: hawk on April 26, 2011, 10:11:34 AM
Quote from: shiveshwar on April 18, 2011, 10:13:00 AM
just asked babaji a question on this site dat will nisha come back to me? if yes, when? and i got this answer "
An incident will happen on Sunday afternoon.  Even if you hide anything it will be disclosed.  You will get success by remembering Shree Sai"
 can neone explain this to me? what does it mean ki even if u hide smthing it will be disclosed??? i dont see nethin which i m hiding ???
Om Sai Ram,
Sai Baba never said she will come back to you. He just said something will happen that will expose your secrets. So, you blame Baba when you took the message wrongly. Try to think back, maybe something was disclosed about your relationship problems but you fail to see it. I also received ask Baba for guidance and he told me that I will have one tension after another (and he is right, it is happening). It is a bad period but I will meet a saintly person who can help me soon. I just thank Baba for his guidance even it is not the most positive chit but I guess this could be some karmic debt I have to pay and a chance for me to practice sharddha and saburi and to change my person to be a better person and not be be so trapped by the materialistic side of life. And I believe Sai Baba is always by my side through good and bad times and I am very grateful.
Please do not loose hope my friend.
Jai Sai Ram.
Om sai ram
Om sai ram
Om sai ram
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Title: Re: will babaji accept me
Post by: Anupam on December 28, 2011, 01:00:45 PM
OM SAI RAM Shiveshwar jee and Mods kindly remove the Post as Sajjan Sai has tried what is a cognizable offence. Hopefully no Police fellow has peeked in, otherwise Sajjan Sai maybe forced to pay some karmic debt as Govt Guest

Kind request please either modify or remove the Post