In our life whatsoever happens Good or Bad, Best or Worst, happens for a reason. Not even a single event is irrelevant. In our pain we could not understand that time, but later after some years we see our past, than realize why all this happened. Whatsoever you have done, Now nothing can be undone. But now as you have realized, so repenting. Just Pray for him. Do as much chanting you can. Read Sai Satcharitra. But over all one thing remember Sister, We keep on crying for our love, But "Rishtay Uppar Wala Hi banata Hai", So, Just respect Thy wish and Pray.
May Baba Grant you piece of mind, Bless You and Heal you!
om sri sai ram!