conversations with God & Self Esteem

[Well-wisher]

An article on conversations with God.

For many, the phrase "conversations with God" refers to the Neale Donald Walsch book of that title. Do I doubt that Mr. Walsch has dialogs with God? Not in the slightest. But I don't find conversing with God to be an exceptional or unusual occurrence. Is it miraculous to speak with God, to gain access to the wisdom of the ages, or just to ask God what he thinks about having maple syrup on your pancakes? Of course it is miraculous, but only in the sense that all of life is miraculous.

Conversations with God are very different from the usual nature of prayer. Prayers are commonly only in one direction - the one praying speaks and hopes God is listening. Prayers also tend to focus on asking for specific things or outcomes one wants, rather than seeking to better understand the mind of God.

Some of you already have daily chats with God. Some, like my Mother while she was among us, have a daily talk with Jesus. Others, are sure that the idea of a personal two-way conversation with God is poppycock. For those who have not yet experienced an intimate exchange of thoughts and feelings with God, let me offer a few suggestions for beginning the process.

1. Don't expect a blinding light on the road to Damascus. Don't expect a booming voice offering you stone tablets with the Ten Commandments inscribed. For most of us, the voice of God is very subtle, and can only be heard when we pay attention and listen.

2. Believe. Because the voice of God is usually a quiet voice, the slightest degree of skepticism allows us to dismiss God's message as just a daydream or as the result of something we ate for breakfast.

3. For some, conversations with God occur spontaneously. For others, structure and intent work better. Try the following sequence and see if it helps:

- Exercise or take a quiet walk for at least half an hour to quiet your body.

- Stand or sit quietly while breathing deeply for five minutes to quiet your mind. If you know Qigong or Yoga, these are even more effective ways of quieting your body and mind.

- In total silence, sit with your back straight, your hands on your thighs with palms upward, and your feet flat on the floor. Raise your head slightly, close your eyes lightly, and raise your eyes. It is natural, and a sign that you are open to communication, if your eyelids begin to flutter.

- State your affirmation that you are in communication with God, and begin your conversation.

4. For some people, the voice of God expresses itself better in writing. Try holding a pen as you talk to God, and let His words flow onto your paper with as little thought as possible on your part.

Don't be discouraged if intimacy with God evades you at first. You are equally the child of God whether you are able to tune in to a personal dialog with God, or whether stress, worry, and fear interfere and create static on the line. Seek out others who do share intimate conversations with God and let them share with you the comfort they receive from direct communication.


One on : The Disease of Low Self-Esteem
Many people do not fully understand the extent to which low self-esteem can corrupt their lives. While there are many books, articles and gurus that purport to give advice on how to develop good self-esteem, I have yet to see anyone explain the big picture. The holistic view of how not having good self-esteem can systematically transform an otherwise well intentioned person with potential into a bitter failure that has squandered his opportunities and life. In this article I will walk you through how this can occur so that the true importance of fixing a person's 'broken' self-esteem early can be seen.
 

Many people don't realize that low self-esteem causes behavior abnormalities in people that can have great consequences in how they relate to people which in turn can affect how you do or don't participate in life and do or don't take advantage of opportunities. For example one abnormality related to low self-esteem has to do with self-absorption. Here's how it works:
 
If someone has low self-esteem, they usually are damaged emotionally to the extent that any energy that they put into living usually has to be focused on themselves just to survive. It takes a person with good self esteem to have enough left over energy to think of others and to want to connect with other people. In the modern work place however, much of advancement and success depends on a person's social and people skills. Making friends, showing interest in others, making others feel good, projecting a positive attitude with lots of energy...these are all traits of someone that has good self-esteem and not inconsequentially they are also the traits needed to succeed in the modern world.
 
If you have low self-esteem you tend to not feel comfortable around others because you inherently feel 'unworthy'. This in turn manifests in insecurity around others which the un-selfaware person then lets manifest into feelings such as jealousy, irritation, arrogance or abrasiveness. Those with good self-esteem of course will not know that the underlying reason for the low self-esteem person's antisocial behavior is a self-esteem problem. They will simply not socialize or be inclusive with this person. This ends up then becoming somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. 
 
The more shut out and not included the low self-esteem person is, the more insecure they become which in turn lowers their self-esteem even more. They then manifest anger, anxiousness, nervousness, jealousy, etc even more which just continues the vicious cycle. Before you know it the low self-esteem person is not getting promoted, is missing opportunities and their entire career trajectory becomes sabotaged. 
 
This same kind of vicious cycle can happen in non-work related arenas. Just think of high school and how a child with low self-esteem might feel around others. If they had good self-esteem they would feel confident around the other kids, make friends, feel accepted and develop normally which would reinforce their good self-esteem. But what if the child has poor self-esteem?
 
Instead of feeling secure around the other kids, the low self-esteem child feels awkward, nervous and like he doesn't fit in. The other kids sense this and think he is 'shy' or 'different'. He doesn't bond with the other kids and is alone which makes him even MORE insecure and lowers his self-esteem further still. Eventually as the other kids progress, form cliques, date, socialize outside of school...the low self-esteem child that was never able to connect in the beginning is shut out of all this. He is left behind developmentally and if not corrected in time can go on to scar the child into adulthood.
 
As can be seen by these examples, poor self-esteem is something that absolutely must be caught and treated early on. If not it poses a real risk of completely sabotaging the healthy development of a person's life.

[child_of_sai]

good one...thanks...

Sai Ram.

[rr_sai_bhakt]

Thank you very much for posting this Well-wisher ...

I agree completely with the lines posted on Low Self Esteem ....

While this article clearly demonstrates the symptoms of self-esteem with great nuance, it doesnt delve into, what i feel is the most important aspect of Self-esteem - the genesis of low-esteem in a person.

Its fine to identify a person with low self esteem, but then why would a person begin to have low self-esteem in the first place?

Its important to know this because even if you treat a person with low self-esteem, he will still carry scars in which he blames himself for having developed a feeling unworthiness and low self esteem as compared to others, or having wasted so much of his life in all those negative thoughts where as others reached so much ahead. So in that sense, he is not completely treated.

In nearly all the cases, a perfectly normal kid will begin to develop low self esteem because of the domestic environment and the circumstances that he is brought up in. These feelings get reinforced over a period of time, as the article elucidates.

Its important to get into the genesis of low self-esteem in a person and let him know that he is not the one responsible for having had these feelings developed within him.

That should come as a great reassurance to him that its not his fault if he feels unworthy.

He must be told that unfortunately a lot of incidents happened in his life, which were again unfortunately beyond his control, that have led to this point.

He must be detached from the circumstances that contributed to his condition.

Given a situation that things might have turned out nice and good, right from the start, he would have developed into a very different person. But its never too late to start and now you can begin employing the methods to improve this person's self esteem.

But its very important to clear a person's guilt that he might carry about himself. Only then can the methods for treating low self-esteem be successful.

The reason i have written is that, in case after case, people blame themselves and hold themselves responsible for their feeling of low-worth ... which is very very unfair .... this just exacerbates the vicious circle that they put themselves into.

While the methods of improving self-esteem can be more or less standardised across people, age-groups, gender etc understanding the trigger point of low self esteem for each person is a highly personalized approach since it all depends on the path that person's life would have taken from the start.

This requires highly trained and extremely sensitive and patient people/counsellors for getting into so much depth in each person's case.

Unfortunately this can not always be practical or feasible .... and hence we tend to paint people with the same brush and adopt common techniques for each person ...

Hmmmm .... anyway ... this is a topic that i have thought a lot about and feel very strongly about ... since i see this happening so much around me ... perfectly talented and very nice people missing out on such a good life because of low self confidence ...

Anyway .. thanks again for posting a thought-provoking article ...

Om Sai Ram ....

[Well-wisher]

Waao RRji... that was a beautiful detailed explaination. I wish one could figure out the lack of self-esteem in oneself and work on it in a way thats best suited to one. But as you said, its rarely possible. And most of us with this disease are in complete denial of the same for further fear of rejection.

Also in a lot of cases this low self-esteem trap starts during our teenage years with fear of rejection in love or career... and then it passes to all other areas of life too...