SPIRITUAL SHOWERS

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The Power of Love

From all over the world, pilgrims flock to Prasanthi Nilayam to be in Bhagawan's presence. They are drawn by the Will of the Avatar of Love calling Himself in the form of others to Himself. Millions have come and the sacred procession has already begun. The majesty of His mission moves inexorably on and His missionaries multiply mightily.

We can only marvel at the little we know of Bhagawan's plan for a Golden Age, a new era of Dharma. It is not hard to recognize the increase in the number of devotees aware of His presence. What is less apparent is His placement of Lights in all walks of life where His Name and Form are not known at all. We, whose great fortune it is to know of Him, must continually remind ourselves that the first of Sai's virtues is humility. We devotees must be careful not to judge, not to look down upon or feel superior to those whose lives are not focused on Bhagawan Baba. By many paths we come to Him and along those paths, examples of His Light can be seen if only we look with care. The measuring stick of spirituality is not the name of the Avatar nor of the Teacher but the ease with which the Divine teachings are put into daily practice. Let me tell you of a very recent New York story.

A young man, who grew up in a disadvantaged inner city neighbourhood, was charged with the cold-blooded killing of one of his peers. He had a previous police record and the jury found him guilty of murder. Throughout the trial, his face was a hard, frozen, steel mask of hatred. There was no sign of remorse, no show of feeling. There was only an unwavering evil stare.

After the verdict and before the sentencing, the judge gave the victim's family the opportunity to speak in court. Words spoken under those circumstances are usually highly charged, emotional expressions of the horror of the crime and their sense of deep pain and loss. This is not what happened here. The victim's mother walked slowly up to her son's killer, looked him straight in the eye, and quietly said, "I have no bad feelings for you. I could never hate you."

For the first time since the trial began, the defendant's look softened.

Then the victim's grandmother got up and spoke, also looking in the killer's eyes. She said. "So you did the crime and I am sorry you've got to do the time. You broke the golden rule: loving God with all your heart, soul and mind. You broke the law: loving your neighbour as yourself. I am your neighbour." Then she paused and continued. "So anyway, you have my address. You want to write, I will write you back, because I sat here two weeks, and for 16 months I tried to hate you. But you know what? I could not hate you. I feel sorry for you because you made a wrong choice."

The grandmother sat down and the judge reported that the defendant's head was hanging low. The evil stare was gone and his destructive, violent demeanour wilted before the unconditional love of these two grieving mothers.

The Judge then passed a sentence of 37 years to life in prison. He later commented that the sentence was insignificant in comparison with what had taken place in his court. The laser force of Love had penetrated the killer's heart. These two ladies are most surely evolved spiritual beings. Their surroundings are modest, their book learning and their words are simple. They are Bhagawan's Lights teaching in the only transforming way: by EXAMPLE. It is a reminder to devotees that all beings are His, that He is in every one of us. We cannot, we must not judge. With a deep sense of humility, we must learn from all. Learn and practise. The question to ask is, "Would I be capable of feeling and acting as these two women did under such a severe test? Would I be able to put Bhagawan's teaching, Christ's teaching, into practice in my life? It is for each one of us to ask ourselves and answer for ourselves. I remind myself that others like those two saintly examples may be standing next to me as I travel on the subways and buses, or as I walk the streets of this city. They are, for me, the Lord's Teachers, the Lord's Lights.

The mother and the grandmother may never know of Bhagawan Baba. They may never come as pilgrims into His presence in India. They don't need to. He is guiding and protecting them. He is always with them, filling their hearts with the sweetness and beauty and power of HIS LOVE.

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In giving talks to various groups around the city of Milwaukee about the experience of Baba—how He came into my life (my life was saved from destruction thanks to Swami) what happened on my trip to India to see this Holy Man to receive His Darshan and to thank Him for saving my life, and how all this has considerably changed my life since then, invariably the expression "it blew my mind" is used. For it seems to say exactly what happened to me. The moment I realized who Baba was, the moment He looked into my eyes with His large luminous eyes, tears began streaming down my face. I was unaware of the torrent of water until it began to drip off my chin unto my chest. The moment He touched me and told me, "Don't cry ...everything is going to be all right now." It is true—everything has been all right—and nothing, nothing, has been the same for me. My life has completely changed. It blew my mind is the only w ay of describing these momentous events.

I have been taken to task by an acquaintance for using this remark. "Ange, why do you use that expression; it is so negative. It is awful! You are saying that your mind is blown up!" I was surprised at her discomfort and agitation she was angry with me for using that phrase—and she could not accept nor understand my explanation. But it seems the most fitting way to tell it as it is.

That favourite expression is still my favourite phrase when recalling my `Baba Experiences.' Baba blew my mind! And this is validated by a reasonable source—my inner being! What may pass as a negative in someone else's consciousness is a positive one in mine. For Baba did empty my mind of all thought, all time, all space! I was free, not enmeshed in a net of thoughts, worries, doubts, agitation—all were released into the ether ... into the void...Baba removed it all. I was filled with joy—with pure love—completely thoughtless, completely desireless, blissful filled with the grace that only the Lord can give! For the five days I was with Sri Sathya Sai Baba, I felt completely outside of time—the eternal had entered and completely transformed my being. There was a feeling of close kinship with all creation. It is difficult for me to find the proper phrases, the proper words to convey the proper feeling, to describ e it all.

The only way I can is to continue saying: "Oh, Lord! You blew my mind!"

- an article by Angelina Marcotrigiano, published in the Sept 1983 issue of Sanathana Sarathi

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As I sit back and ponder over the bygone days, I realise that someone has secretly entered into my life and enriched it with priceless love. I was blessed with boundless gifts. I did not know who the giver was, but felt His presence and His gentle touch.

'Once in the early nineties, Swami visited Madras, and was staying at Sundaram. After the suprabhatam was sung, the Lord glided onto the balcony and gave darshan to the thousands who were waiting there. My parents and I were also amongst the crowd of devotees who had come to enjoy the spectacle of love spreading far and wide to rekindle the spirit of mankind.

The mass of devotees, who were seated till then, rose in reverence with folded palms, and tried hard to get a glimpse of the Almighty. Tears of joy rolled down my mother's cheeks as she saw the beautiful form of Love in front of her. I was surrounded by people, and couldn't catch sight of the wish fulfiller, as I knew Him to be. I tugged at my mother's sari. She seemed to understand what was going on in my mind. Just then, the devotees started murmuring amongst themselves that the Balvikas children were to present a programme in the portico so that Swami could see the tiny tots from where He stood. As the crowd made way for them, I rushed through the narrow passage, and positioned myself in the front row. It was then that I had a glimpse of my Guardian, my Eternal Friend. I knew for certain that He is my comrade, and that the unseen hand is His.

As I grew up, God to me was only an entity I used to look up to in order to satisfy my petty fancies. When I was promoted to the sixth grade, attending bhajans in the neighbourhood was a part of my everyday routine apart from academics, fun and frolic. After the bhajans, it was a regular practice among the devotees to narrate some experiences of how Swami had touched their lives and made a difference. Hearing them, I used to yearn for the day when He would enrich my life with an experience.

My life that was filled with the warmth and affection of my kith and kin until then was suddenly thrown into turmoil and tension when I was afflicted by what the doctors diagnosed as tuberculoma of the brain. Initially, I had an agonizing pain in the head which eventually began to run down my spine. Sitting in the classroom for prolonged hours was becoming impossible. I could not sprint in the streets and sport with my friends. I had to discontinue my studies before a week elapsed, and my sprightly spirit, that always soared high, plummeted. I withdrew myself from academics and all the activities and aerial ambitions that an 11-year old would dream of.

A score of bitter pills, steroids and splenetic syrups replaced the bars of chocolate puddings and pastries. The doctors were not happy with my progress. The oral medication did not suffice, and they decided that the needle had to be used to relieve me from the anguish. I had sleepless nights due to the sudden spasms, and my colourful childish world was flooded with darkness. My worried parents surrendered to Swami. I was sure that Swami was making my biography a momentous and memorable one.

I asked Him to hold my hand and deliver me from despair. I prayed fervently and asked Him to renew my lost strength. Behind the silent dark walls, God answered my prayer, and my parents decided to take me to Puttaparthi. I was fortunate to sit in the front row. My mother too secured a convenient position to have Baba's darshan. The music began. Swami came gently walking towards where I sat. He took some rice grains from the lady who was sitting besides me, and showered them thrice on me. In my anxiety, I blurted out 'Swami, I do not want to take those injections any more.' His benign smile gave me an assurance that everything would be taken care of.

I travelled back counting my blessings. The follow-up CT scan reports disclosed that I was on the way to speedy recovery. My parents were grateful to Bhagawan who had granted their daughter a new lease of life. It is said that: 'the strongest metal cometh from the toughest furnace.' This phase of despair strengthened my faith in Bhagawan.

The love story does not end there. Years passed. Now, as His student, I am a humble part of His Avataric Mission. He shows us the path way to immortality by being our guardian. This is the assurance given to me in one of my dreams. I dreamt that all His students were made to stand in a line forming a human chain and were asked to walk behind Him. He turned to see if all His children were following Him. When He found that some of us had slightly deviated, He gently pushed us into the path set by Him. To my right was a beautiful garden, and to my left was marshy land. He said to me, 'if you follow Me, I will guide you to the garden.' The dream ended there but the message was clear. The goal is set and the path is clear. All we need to do is to tread it with commitment.'

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I learned of Sri Sathya Sai Baba when I was in India, as a research scholar, studying the Tantrism of the Saktas, under Mahamahopadhyaya Gopinath Kavirajji. At Banaras, I was well acquainted with the family of my friend, Miss Priya Sen and I saw the Puja room of one of her relatives, where the portraits of Baba and other saints and deities kept for worship along with them, were thickly covered with Vibhuti (holy ash)! I also saw small silver statuettes of Hindu deities that have mysteriously emerged from those holy pictures, and heard descriptions of miraculous happenings during their weekly sessions of hymn singing (bhajan)!

These wondrous events aroused my intense curiosity. During the course of a few months, we attended several bhajan sessions and I read Howard Murpet's book on Baba. I became convinced that Baba is a true Divine Avatar and my devotion to Him began to grow.

I deeply regret that we did not go to Puttaparthi, while in India. We had planned a journey to South India, at the end of our period of residence in that country, but, what little time we had, was taken up by the need to complete the research. Some friends in Calcutta who have also been blessed by Baba with Vibhuti from the pictures in their home shrine (!) told us that Baba was expected at Calcutta; but, He did not visit that City at that time and we had to return to the West, immediately thereafter

The miraculous aspect of Baba's Nature was perhaps the initial lure; but, it cannot explain fully why I feel so strongly that Baba is a Divine Avatar. He has begun to slowly influence my life, encouraging me to take the first small steps in Sadhana. In some mysterious way, I am experiencing Kaviraj ji as the force of Jnana and Baba as the force of Prema. I have no external Guru, but, I have learned the essential Unity of all Gurus; I try to realise their Oneness.

Even though I knew that Westerners are naturally sceptical and could not believe all these strange things happening in India, I could not restrain the impulse to bear witness, in my own limited way, to the appearance of a Divine Avatar in our life time.

I was both surprised and thrilled when my parents, who are devout Christians, became seriously interested in Him, after reading and hearing about Him. It is very difficult for Christians to accept Baba without feeling they have abandoned Christ; the Christian tradition does not prepare them for the idea that God returns periodically to Earth, though it should be admitted that little stands in the way of thoughtful people accepting the idea of the Avatar. My parents are now convinced that Sai Baba is an aspect of God, even though the Revelation has appeared outside organized Christianity.

We are all eager to learn more about Baba. We met Mr. John Moffitt, an author, who met Baba some years ago; he plans to write about Baba in a forthcoming book. We continue to seek others who have met Baba.

Unfortunately in our country, the Indian Guru is associated with hippies and misled eccentrics and I can understand why Baba has not yet visited America, despite the urgings of His American devotees. If He ever does visit the States, there must be a long responsible preparation for His Coming, so that all who are ready to benefit from His Teachings will be alerted.

We Westerners are immersed in a deep moral and spiritual crisis. This has had a purifying effect on some; but, others have been caught in the vice of passion and greed. Many decent people are longing for true leadership and direction.

The message of our Jesus, who lived on earth 2000 years ago, has been clouded by the interpretations of lesser minds, and the influence of Christianity has waned. The message of Christ has to be re-vitalised and addressed to modern problems. Our priests and ministers try to do this, but, their attempts are frail.

We need the Immanent Authority of the Avatar to bridge our sectarian distrust of one another's religious traditions, and to fuse the spiritual aspirations of all of us, into a Collective Force that will eventually result in a fully evolved Human Consciousness lit by the Divine.

What a Friend we have in Baba,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Oh! what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pains we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to Him in prayer.

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The Sadhaka must have as his objective the state of mental preparation, for the realisation of Godhead at any moment. That is to say, his heart must be cleansed of despair, free from hesitation and doubt, and open to the waves of bliss that surge in from all sides, in God's Universe. Love brings the waves in, ever expansive as they are! Follow the directives, with faith and sincerity. That will help you to realise the purpose of life. Since every act has its appropriate reaction, beware of evil intentions, wicked words, acts that harm others and therefore harm you, and so live that you revere all as moving temples of the Divine.

Narasamma, who passed away recently is a good example for you. She was a pure devotee. She came to Parthi 30 years ago; and, once having come, she never turned back to Madras, with any longing for her home, her belongings or her kith and kin! She was friendly with all and put up gladly with all sorts of people. I used to reprimand her often, "Narasamma, why do you welcome all these people into your room and allow them to disturb the Sadhana and silence you need?" But, her heart was large and it was difficult to restrain her. She spent all these years, happily here; and, now she has settled here, as her eternal home.

I wrote a letter to her from Goa. I did not write to any one else from there. I wrote only to her. I wrote, "Narasamma, I am with you, beside; before, behind; and I am guarding you as the lids guard the eye. Do not be worried in the least that I am not there. Since your body is getting weaker and weaker, be ready for any eventuality. Avoid thoughts of the body, be ever full of thoughts of God. Carry on in that manner. When the body gets overripe, it rots; when it rots, it is thrown away. Her body became ripe, overripe and it even suffered due to over ripeness. So, it had to be disposed away. But, her Seva and Sadhana—these do survive.

"Perhaps you wondered why I did not come to give her Darshan, even though she was praying, for it so long! Her fortune was not this kind of Darshan, standing before you, as I do now. But, I certainly stuck to my promise to her, that I shall give Darshan to her, during her last moments. I came, I stood before her, I gave her the Blessing Prasadam, I asked her to put into her mouth the Vibhuti I created and gave her; and, some persons round her bed at the time came to know about it. For they asked Narasamma, 'What is it you are putting into your mouth?' and Narasamma told them, 'Swami came just now and gave me Vibhuti Prasadam.' Until the last breath she was fully conscious."

Narasamma died at seven minutes past eleven in the morning here at Prasanthi Nilayam, and there at Whitefield, I mentioned to Peddabottu (who has come there and is staying there), at seven minutes past eleven; "Your Narasamma has gone!"

Her nature, her heart that corresponded with her nature, her achievement which was characteristic of her heart and its purity—all bore fruit. It is difficult to understand the beauty of such a life and to find analogies by which one can explain it.

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I am writing this from Brindavan. I came here from California about a month ago. In that time, I feel like I have died and been reborn!

To explain: Let me go back to about a year ago, when I was here last. At that time, when I took leave of Swami, He gave me permission to return to India for a prolonged stay, starting this October. "You come then," He said, "I will have some work for you to do.” I began planning for a Sabbatical from my teaching duties at an Institute in California.

But then, during the summer, serious illness struck. The diagnosis was a probable cancer in the liver area. Tests indicated `positive'. A biopsy and liver scan were recommended. But, I had heard of a metabolic therapy called 'Gerson Therapy' (Disclaimer: The contents of this article are purely the views of the author. We do not endorse any such alternative therapy) that was effective against all types of Cancer. So, I went to Mexico and commenced this very intensive cancer regimen. For two months, I battled the illness. All thoughts of the Sabbatical in India vanished as the available energy was directed towards staying alive.

Even though the body was very sick and oftentimes the mind got discouraged and was ready to give up, yet the inner man never doubted that Swami was with me, that He knew of this illness, and that, in time, He would pull me through.

After two months, the therapy took hold and I felt very much better. I knew then that I must go to India, if only for a short visit to thank Baba and re dedicate my life at His Lotus Feet. I couldn’t stay in India for more than a few weeks, since the therapy needed to continue for several months more to make sure there could be no relapse.

I wrote to my aged parents (my father is 88 and my mother is 85) who live on the other side of the U. S. Continent, that I planned a short visit to India, to see Baba. They got terribly worried. "You are not well enough to undertake such a trip. They are having floods and epidemics there. There wont be any good food for you,” they wrote back. "Why don’t you telephone Him, instead of going; it will be much better for your health and cheaper too," they suggested.

I got their letter on the 10th October, the day before Yom Kipur, the Jewish high holy day. They are devoted Jews. In honour of them and in gratitude to Swami for my new feelings of well being, I decided for the first time in many years to observe this Jewish holy day of Atonement, by fasting and immersing myself in prayer. This was the first interruption in two months of the therapy, which called for hourly feedings of specially prepared juices and medications. I asked my nurse helpers to take the day off. I felt I had only one duty to perform that day, and that was, to write to my parents and wish them the very best for the Jewish New Year and also to explain to them that it was not possible to telephone Baba, but to make them happy, I would at least try to send Him a telegram, and ask for His directions.

As I went to the Institute Office to mail the letter to my parents, I thought about what I might say in a telegram to Swami. While absorbed in these thoughts, I heard my name being called by the Secretary, who had seen me approaching the Office. "Al, there is a long distance phone call for you from the International Telegraph Office, in San Francisco."

I very rarely receive phone calls in the Office since I am there so infrequently and I have never received a telegram before. So, I was startled, to say the least. The operator on the other end of the line relayed the telegram message to me, it is from Prasanthi Nilayam, India. It says, "Please come immediately."

I couldn’t believe my ears. "My God! Is this real?"

Up to that moment, I was immersed in my life at the Institute, teaching, keeping up with the rigorous demands of the ther¬apy, and all the hundred daily involvements and chores that we have in our home setting. Now, everything changed instantly. I was galvanised into action. I didn’t know when I could actually leave, but, I ran home and started packing. Some friends heard the news and came over to help. One called the airlines to find out what flights were scheduled that day. Another offered to drive me to the nearest airport at Monterey, 75 kilometres away. Another got together some food for the long journey ahead, since I was on a restricted organic diet. Another brought me 600 dollars in cash, with the statement, "You'll need money for the trip; You can pay me back when you return." Another, a Catholic sister studying there, gave me her treasured Cross to take along to ask Swami to bless it. Still others came by just t o give their well wishes for a safe journey and asked to be remembered to Baba.

It was as if Swami's Shakti and Prema had suddenly crystallized in this remote place. Busy as I was with packing, I choked up at this unfolding scene of love. In no time, the packing was done, and all the other matters, related to my house and classes, and the people helping me with the therapy, were taken care of.

Within less than two hours of receiving the telegram message, I was on my way, on a 13,000-mile journey to Swami. A new non stop service from Los Angeles to London and London to Bombay which was leaving within an hour of the arrival of my connecting flight in Los Angeles would get me to Bombay in record time!

Coming to that first small airport at Monterey without reservations and learning that the various flights were all fully booked, posed no real problem at all for me, since I knew that Divine Energy was fuelling my present journey. Somehow, a seat always appeared. I made good my promise to myself that day to take no food or drink for 24 hours. Somewhere over the North Atlantic, I untied the food basket that my friend had fixed, and, closing my eyes, offered a shiny, juicy apple to the Lord. Then, opening my eyes, I looked around the darkened aircraft. I remember the sense of awe I felt at finding myself in these surroundings as I broke the Yom Kipur fast. A sweet sleep followed, high up at 40,000 feet. Soon enough, we were in London and 12 hours later, at Bombay.

I had no visa; but, the Customs Official decided that last year's visa would do. I didn't argue! Collecting my luggage, I ran for the Indian Airlines flight which was to take off for Bangalore in 30 minutes. Of course, it was full; but, as with the other flights, space became available. Anyway I landed at Bangalore. It happened that the Chief Minister of Karnataka was on the plane. A driver who was a Sai devotee had delivered someone to the Bangalore Airport. Hearing that his Chief Minister was aboard, and curious to see him, he hung around the airport, until my flight landed. Coming out of the terminal, I connected with the driver, just as he was about to drive off to the West End Hotel, where he was stationed. "Sai Ram. How about taking me to Prasanthi Nilayam?" I asked him.

"Yes,” he said, "but Baba is supposed to be coming back to Bangalore tomorrow,” he replied. Let us go, anyway,” I told him. "O.K. We can stop at my place on the way and I'll tell my wife I wont be home this evening" "Good,” I said. I felt at peace inside; the journey was coming to an end.

Three hours later, we were at the Darshan Line and my heart rejoiced as I again saw the Lord. He greeted me, with, "Achha! When did you arrive?” I knew was home.

That is really the end of the story. Baba stayed for a week more in Puttaparthi and then, came to Whitefield, Bangalore. At the time of this writing, the daily Darshan has been continuing for three weeks and a half, and my heart is filling up as I sit happily at His Feet basking in His Grace. Can you now see, why I said I feel a little like I died and was re born?

Swami has given me permission to teach at the College in Brindavan. It looks like the Sabbatical has started after all, although under totally unexpected circumstances! Even if He tells me to leave tomorrow there is never really any return to the previous life.

Every time one comes anew to Baba, one's life starts anew. Clearly the illness was a purification that He sent. Baba told me during the interview that the body was now healed. "I am always with you. I never forget you for a moment. I am in your heart; and, you are in mine,” He said.

When our beloved Sai says that, to us what else is there to do but to fall at the Feet in gratitude? What a wonderful good fortune we all enjoy to be alive in this time in the presence and knowledge of the Yuga Avatar, our dear Swami.

He says He never forgets us even for a moment if only we would follow His lead and never forget Him even for a moment. Truly, what other Sadhana is there for us, but to steadily and constantly love Him, love Him, love Him?

[v2k]

The mail brought me a letter from the State President of the U. P. State Sai Organisation informing me that Swami had approved my name to act as the Group teacher of the U. P. girl students selected for the summer course at Brindavan 1978.

The morning session of the Valedictory function started with Swami's Discourse consisting of references to the ordeals of His student life and ending with His exhorting the students to lead a life of Discipline, Duty and Devotion. Then He graciously allowed all participants the most coveted opportunity of 'Padanamaskar', turn by turn, and giving them 'Vibhuti packets' with His own hands. When my turn came, I prostrated myself at His feet. As I stood up, I uttered, inadvertently "Swami. Please bless me so that I can translate your 'Chinna Katha' in Urdu.” Swami, then looked at me closely for a moment and smiled. He graciously nodded and said, "Yes, Yes, do it.” Then He blessed me with eight packets of Vibhuti. I was too overwhelmed with joy to remember how I walked back to my seat. The fact that Swami spoke to me and blessed me made me feel an inward sense of spiritual wealth. After His Discourse was over, we returned to our dormitory. I carefully preserved this Blessed Vibhuti in an empty yellow tin box and tightly closed its lid.

In the early morning of the 21st June '78 while the grounds of Brindavan were echoing the holy chantings of the Suprabhatam and the Nagarsankirtan was about to move, we were tearfully boarding the minibus—casting a last lingering look at the Sanctuary of Peace. Hardly had we outgrown our sad farewell sentiment when we found ourselves at Bangalore railway station. Soon we settled down in our seats. We closed the sliding door of the coupe from inside, and set about attending to morning chores.

Around 9 a.m. I remembered it was time I took the morning dose of my Blood Pressure medicine. I looked for it in my box and in my handbag and in my purse but it was nowhere. Perplexed I sat down in my seat next to the window and tried to recall where I could possibly locate it. Then the idea came to my mind that I might have kept it with Baba's Vibhuti. At once I reached for the yellow tin in my box. Taking it in my hand, I opened the lid carefully but the medicine was not there either. The train had now picked speed and its jerky motion made my hands too shaky to close the lid tightly. I placed the tin on the windowsill of the train and thumped hard on its lid. To my horror, it suddenly slipped from my hand and rolled out of the window, down the railway track and fast faded from view as the train moved on. I was shocked. The world of Bliss seemed to have slipped from my grasp. I became frantic to the consternation of all present. "My T in, My Tin, My Vibhuti tin—Oh, I have dropped it. I must get it back, I am going". I shrieked, and rushed towards the sliding door. My frantic behaviour frightened my students. They tried to stop me. "Where are you going? We will give you our Vibhuti—Oh stop—Please don't go". But I had no ears for them. I had only one thought; I must get back my Vibhuti tin. It was Swami's gift. How could I go back leaving it behind? No, I must find it—come what may. In this frenzy I almost forgot that to open the door it had to be slid. Instead I violently pushed it forward and when it would not open I put all my pressure to break it open. To everyone's horror the hinges which held the door tight suddenly loosened and the disjointed door fell against the upper berth facing it and I plunged out. The train was running fast and I could have met my death but miraculously I was unhurt.
I had no thought that I was running bare-footed—or that there was no certainty that I would find my precious Vibhuti or that having left my train, how I would return-penniless as I was. I even forgot that I was a woman or that I had left my wards in the train or I was a patient of blood-pressure and was not medically permitted to do hard physical activity; and here I was running fast—gasping for breath, each of which spoke only one prayer: "O Baba, please help me find my Vibhuti".

I now had arrived on a point where another railway track intersected the one I had been following. "Won't you show me the correct path O Baba?" I cried, as hot tears rolled down my cheeks. Next moment I was running again. Surely I had made the choice of my course but whither was it leading me? There was no going back now and so I ran on. And lo, suddenly in the green bushes down the railway track, there glittered a small yellow circular thing. It was the Vibhuti tin indeed. Ah, I had found it. I hungrily jumped towards it and picking it I pressed it against my heart and touched it with my head. Overwhelmed with joy I found myself crying again—but now the tears were of Gratitude.

Instinctively then, I wanted to run back to my train to share my Joy with the Sai devotees aboard it. I looked back; but where was the train? Evidently it had travelled far off. From the distance between us it appeared like a small toy-train. But still like one possessed I started running towards it. The return race was an ordeal. My feet seemed to be out of gear. I was panting with fatigue but I had no other way. Presently the train began assuming proportion and it looked larger in size. Had it come to a standstill or had I covered the gaping distance? I wondered. In the next few moments I was in a close range of it. Visibly there was no railway station for its stoppage, and yet the train had stopped, as if only to collect me! How could this be? But before I could think more I almost collapsed. The good doctor and some others helped me get into the train. They laid me on my berth and gave me Vibhuti dissolved in water to drink and also appl ied some of it on my forehead. Soon I recovered. I needed no more medicine.

[v2k]

 Sometimes we are blinded by temptations. Then, even the simplest logic cannot penetrate our mind. We overlook explicit warnings given by the Lord. Three years ago, unfortunately I fell a prey to such a temptation and went through a tremendous amount of suffering.

It all happened in the summer of 1984, when I went to Karnataka to visit my parents. Through a friend, we (I and my parents) met a man who claimed to be the incarnation of Shakti, the "Divine Mother". We were then told that Baba frequently manifests in him and everything he says is actually Swami's Message, to whoever prays for it.

The story was temptingly attractive because, Baba is the Incarnation of Siva-Shakti. We completely succumbed to the possibility of overnight salvation and the assured solution to all our worldly problems. In the process we completely ignored Baba's repeated warnings that He does not talk or work through a third person.

A person who can lie in the name of Swami in spite of being aware of His being Divine can stoop to any level. That exactly was the case with this man. Eventually he caused us a lot of grief and damage. I would not go into details, but what was worse was that we completely lost confidence and faith in our own selves. This man slowly enslaved us; his threats induced fear and his orders caused anguish. This went on for nearly two years. In December 1985 1 visited Karnataka again for a month. What I faced for a month was atrocious and this man did the worst possible things claiming them to be Swami's instructions.

When I returned to the States, I was totally confused, terribly depressed and became a nervous wreck. I could not forget what I had gone through and was completely torn apart. My parents were worried about me. They visited Puttaparthi. They held a letter to Baba praying for my well-being. Baba is Omniscient. During Darshan He walked straight to my father and accepted the letter. When I was informed about this act of grace, I got a gleam of hope, but I was still in the grip of fear, doubt and depression. I could not meditate or do my work at the university. Several times I felt as if I was losing my sanity.

One morning while lying depressed in my bed the inner voice said, "Only the Lord can save me, I have to surrender to Him"; and I prayed. I called Baba with all my heart. This time He answered; within a few minutes I felt a change. I could feel inner strength; all of a sudden, my depression was gone and I was my own self again. "No more blind faith" I decided. I have to find out from Baba about this whole "Shakti" business. I also realised that there were others like me who were in the same boat as I was, trapped by this man but unable to leave him because they thought that he was Swami's instrument.

I decided to write to Swami. I made discreet enquiries from Sal devotees in New York whether Swami ever replies to letters or not. Everyone said no one had heard of such an incident and the chances were rather remote. However, something inside me kept telling me that Baba will rescue me and answer my query. I thought. Swami receives thousands of letters everyday and how can I expect Him to write to me. The inner voice was very strong and I wrote a long explicit letter to Baba; I poured my heart out since He was the only one I could confide in.

It is true that in His infinite mercy He always comes to the rescue of the needy. Within a few days I received a telegram from Swami, which clearly said that the "Shakti matter is completely false" and of "bad quality". He also instructed me "not to believe such people" and not to "follow them blindly" and to "inform others" who had fallen into this man's trap, which I promptly did.

Blessed are we who live in this point of time, when the Lord directly comes to our rescue when we get into trouble even though we disobey Him.

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One March evening I found myself dropped like a hot cake within the towering grey walls of a convent school run by foreign missionaries in a Himalayan town and the gates closed behind me. I found myself amidst sons of ministers, aristocrats, diplomats, and what not. I found something missing in them. I could not help stealing away from their company. At times I felt lost in this big world, but slowly learnt to accept it as a part of my life. I kept myself at a safe distance from the stern looking missionaries. Not a day passed without my hearing the "whoosh! Whoosh!" of a cane and uncontrollable sobs and cries of some unfortunate child. I was destined to spend a fraction of my life there.

One day I received a rude shock. A photograph of Bhagawan Baba which I had with me was taken away and was locked in a cupboard. In my loneliness I derived consolation from the book, "Sathya Sai Speaks" which was kept well hidden beneath my bed as I feared it would be confiscated too.

One cold night, just before supper, the warden came in with a grim face and announced, "Henceforth none shall keep any books beneath their beds. If books are found they shall be confiscated. Even if any religious books are found, they shall be torn into bits. The boys found guilty shall be caned severely." My heart leaped on hearing this and it raced fast. The supper refused to pass down my gullets. I rose and walked out of the dining hall.

I tucked my gloved hands into the pockets of my overcoat and went out into the open grounds behind the convent. An icy wind from the snow covered mountains greeted me. I brooded, "what am I to do with that book of Swami. How could I give it away! It was my only source of joy and consolation, whose support and companionship I sought during those deserted moments.” My mind was now determined that I would continue to keep it beneath my pillow and face the consequences. I knew it was a severe test, and my Lord would make me pass.

A week passed and nothing happened. None had come to check. One night, it was roundabout 10. I was still wide awake in my bed. The cold wind from the Himalayas whistled outside my window and it made the glass window rattle loudly. All the boys in my dormitory were fast asleep, perhaps dreaming of angels and fairies, unaware of the terror that was to strike that night.

The lights of the dormitory were suddenly put on. There stood the warden with another missionary with a thick cane in his hand, that knew no compassion. They pulled the sleeping boys out of the bed and the beds were checked. Many had comics and fairy tale books which were found beneath their beds. Blows rained upon them. The cane fell upon them terribly, its sound came rhythmically, and the cries for mercy; equally kept pace with it.

While it was freezing outside, I was perspiring profusely. I covered myself and lay still and chanted the Gayatri Mantra frantically. I could hear the soft footsteps of the missionary approaching my bed. It was my turn now. I felt a light tap. My lips went dry. My tongue refused to chant any mantram. But I felt myself yelling within, "Baba! Baba! Baba!" I opened my eyes and tried to present an innocent look. I slowly got off my bed. The missionary gave me a sarcastic smile. I was afraid, surely not of the cane, as I was cocksure that my soul would jump out before the cane could land on me. I feared the dreadful fate that awaited the book. The missionary overturned my pillow with his cane and "Sathya Sai speaks” showed itself lovingly. He looked at me ferociously. He hit the book with the cane. I felt the blow, a little cry escaped from my lips. He asked me, raising his gruff voice, "What is that I see?" I remai ned silent. The boys stood motionless in dreadful silence, while tears streamed down the cheeks of some. The angry missionary pounced on the book, and took it in his big rough hands. The story of Prahlada and the saviour Lord Narasimha flashed back in my mind! I stood in terror expecting him to tear it into bits. But I found the book still safe in his hands. He was staring at it and kept muttering: "Sathya Sai Speaks! Sathya Sai Speaks! Sathya Sai Speaks!" He stared at it unceasingly and after a few minutes he opened the book. The picture of our benevolent Sai stared at him. He stared at the beautiful picture and it stared back at him. I wondered what had happened to him.

A few minutes later the missionary asked me softly, "Who is he?" I was silent, and felt I had lost my voice. He repeated his question again, "Who is He?" Finding my voice, I said, "SAI BABA!" The cane fell from his hand. He stared at the picture with greater concentration. I did not know what was happening to him. Even now I am at a loss to know what happened in those few fleeting moments between the missionary and Bhagawan. It remains still a baffling mystery to me.

The missionary placed the book gently on my bed, to the astonishment of all, and tip toed out of the room. Tears of joy and gratitude trickled down my cheeks, for my beloved Lord had made me feel the warmth of His Love even in the distant Himalayan region.

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 I would have never expected it to have such a deep impact on my life. And yet, when I think back to my early childhood I remember listening to stories of Jesus, being so impressed by how this man lived his life, feeling a deep love for Him, and above all being so angry with 'them' for treating him so badly and finally nailing Him on a cross. So, often I thought to myself, 'Well, If I had been around I would have defended Him; I would have believed in Him.' Or, 'if only He were here now and I could spend time with Him, or meet Him, I would surely recognise Him.'

Time passed and I grew up… Then, after many years of having Sri Aurobindo and the Mother as my guiding light I finally made it to Auroville about nine years ago. Within two days of arriving there I met some old friends who had just come from Sai Baba's ashram. They told me about Him, His miracles, the Vibhuti, about His being an incarnation of God down here to help us get on with it. I saw the pictures they showed me one of them is so clearly fixed in my mind that I can still see it when I close my eyes. And after all that, I said, 'Oh well, another guru who does things. I'd better get on with my work.'

Then, a few months ago a friend of mine, here at Findhorn, handed me a book with Baba's picture on the front and said, 'This man is amazing. He walked into my life a few weeks ago, and I don't know! It's all amazing, and I was told by Baba to give you to read.' Somewhere it clicked. The picture I was shown nine years before emerged from my memory as clearly as ever, and the next day I had finished the book. Then, as if by a miracle many more books about Baba came my way; I met Baba devotees; I dreamed about Baba....

Four months later I was on my way to India admittedly with lots of doubts and fears. But I was encouraged by Baba, who says over and over again. ‘If you are not sure about what, or who, I am, come and check it out for yourself, and then make up your mind.'

Prasanthi Nilayam was amazing. As soon as I walked through the gates I was 'home', feeling the crystal clear energy of the place, refreshing to my being, and spreading peace all over me. I stayed only twelve days and in that time I felt reborn, transformed.

Soon after seeing Baba for the first time I realised I had to rid my mind of all its fears and arguments. And so I did. And the next morning I realised I was so full of untruth, and muck, and stuff it was as if someone had opened a window into my being. Suddenly there was the sun shining into me, showing me the junk!

That morning in the darshan line I knew I didn't want all this junk. I wanted to be free, and I didn’t know how to get rid of it. What to do? My mind was going at top speed, doing overtime. I needed help. A few days later, after many mind battles and insights, I ended up in the front row of the darshan line. And I knew very clearly that I could ask for Padanamaskar. As Baba passed by, I tried to get His attention by looking up, politely waiting for Him to stop, but I again realised that this is not how the universe works. Didn't God say, 'Take one step towards me and I will take ten towards you'? So I have to do it, I have to take the first step! Baba had stopped in front of me, but my mind refused to remember the word in Sanskrit! Why didn't He look at me? At this point He began to move away, and all I could get out of my mouth, in a small voice, was 'Baba, feet please?'

He stopped again, and again looked at people behind me, but not at me. Why? Screamed my mind. Almost giving up, I looked down. There was His left foot right in front of me! As I bent over, the foot moved towards me and His right foot joined the left. And I? I melted, all disappeared. Bliss! I realised it was all over when the people around me were getting up. I walked to my room about three inches above the ground, and spent the rest of the day blissed out....

My soul was re-aligned that day. I saw the world differently, and still do. I understand now, deep in my heart, what it means to surrender and receive grace. Life has never been the same since. I react to things differently. And what's more. I like it a lot better. I still feel slightly strange about the new me. What I do now is that I want to devote my life to God. In a new way. And that I need help, and a lot more grace. But I feel it will all be there at the right time. I know it. It's there every day. And somehow it's confirmed in the way Baba smiles in the picture that now hangs on my wall.

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When I thought of it, it was really an impossible task to bring my mother, an octogenarian, to the Abode of Supreme Peace and Love, from the distant Himalayan land of Sikkim. But no task remains impossible once His Divine Grace is showered in abundance. A comment passed by a close friend of mine is still vivid in my memory: "You should have taken your mother earlier. Now it seems to be too late for the journey because of her advanced age and ailing health and it may not be possible for her to travel. You may consider it as impossible a task as trying to fill a bamboo cane basket with water." This in fact hurt my feelings since my dear old mother had been all the time wishing and praying to find refuge at His Lotus Feet in Prasanthi Nilayam for the last five years. Yet I did not lose heart but went on yearning and cherishing like a good optimist with all my unwavering faith in the Divine Grac e of Sri Sathya Sai Baba. I had given up pessimism since the time I had come to know about Bhagawan; has HE not assured that He will not forsake those who seek refuge in HIM?

Time kept on passing swiftly and my heart too kept on throbbing all the time with a worry as to how to proceed on the long journey. Yet, with a firm and steady faith, I could muster enough courage with all the patience that could be squeezed out of an ever hopeful heart.

Ever since her young days, my mother had been allergic to the smell of petrol and she preferred to travel either on horseback or on foot rather than riding a motor vehicle in which she would feel very uncomfortable and suffered from nausea. Now, due to her old age and physical weakness, travelling by car was ruled out; more over, the doctors advised that she should not travel by plane either, because of her heart trouble. Yet, wonderfully enough, she had much courage in store to travel by all means with a sense of total submission to His Mercy. It was most encouraging to hear from her words that were steeped in devotion. "This time, the Lord will surely listen to my prayers and take me to His Divine Abode."

In January 1979, I got the rarest opportunity again in my life to be blessed by Bhagawan at Brindavanam. It was a wonderful Interview. My experience at the interview reminds me all the time that even our parents cannot love and care for us so dearly and selflessly as Swami does. His Love is impartial and infinite and He is ever ready to forgive our shortcomings and mistakes. His Love is for each and every being in Creation.
A great moment

I prayed to the Lord with hands folded, whether it was possible for me to bring my mother for His Divine Darshan. To my relief and satisfaction, Swami told me that it was possible without the least doubt and that she could travel without any fear of sickness throughout the journey. A beautiful silver locket was materialised and given to me and Swami said: that I should take it home very carefully to be given to my mother so that it would protect her all the time while proceeding on our journey and also throughout the rest of her life. After this great moment, I was once again back to my home in Gangtok, the capital of our Himalayan country, Sikkim, although my heart did not permit me to leave the portals of His Abode. To be candid with my views and to dwell upon the true experiences of my life, I do not have the least doubt that it is just because of Swami that I have been blessed with a new life, in pursuit of the real Des tination.

Dwelling on the first stage of the journey from Gangtok, I would like to share with all the fact that my mother had the vision of our Beloved Lord, who seemed to be keeping pace with the speeding jeep even when she was wide awake. This happened when we were on our way from Rangpo to Tista, the two main check posts on the route from Gangtok to Siliguri, the nearest railway station. It was late in the evening of Monday, the 31st January 1983, when He granted this vision to my mother. The effect was so miraculous that she felt very happy and quite at ease. All the time, she sat in her seat, lost in an inexplicable sea of joy. It was as though the Lord of Parthi had touched her with His Divine magic. She did not feel travel sick or fatigued even as we arrived at Siliguri in the late hours of the night. We found her still fresh, hale and hearty and the arduous journey through the twisting and winding roads had not affected her in any way. We knew that this was the most difficult part of our journey. Yet this visible sign of His care and Grace inspired us to proceed on our journey without worries and fear. After this, the journey was quite pleasant and comfortable, and we arrived at Prasanthi Nilayam, the Divine Abode of Eternal Bliss.
Gifts of grace

What followed after reaching Prasanthi Nilayam can only be described as the unfolding of another chapter of how He, our Lord Sai, lives every second of the day for giving His Love to His dear and wayward children, of how He draws them to Him with all the care of a mother nursing her first born child. He granted us interviews, chiding us to crave instead, for the inner-view of our Real Self, the grandeur of the spirit, which would confer upon us the gift of Paramananda. He gave a nice and cosy room for my mother to stay in and also other gifts of His Grace. What more can a child aspire for from a mother. Even to think that the Lord cares so much for every being, even insignificant people like us, who had not been able to offer anything to HIM and had always aspired to achieve His Grace, truly unfolds volumes of His Divine Glory.

Now we all feel that the bird has at last found its refuge. It has no more destinations to reach, no more vistas to explore. This is really the final `homecoming'.

The sentiment of heartfelt gratitude that wells up within the deep recesses of my heart cannot be described in words and yet I feel so grateful to the Lord for all times to come for having opened my eyes from the deep slumber of ignorance to bring me to the path of Light and Truth.
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Knowing that Bhagawan has placed a ban on the offer of garlands to Him, children of the Vidya Vihar at Ooty hit upon an acceptable method of presenting Swami with a "garland" in the entertainment programme they got up during Bhagawan's stay there in April.

The "flowers" in the garland consisted of pearls from the Divine lips. Before making the offering, one child came forward and said to Bhagawan: "We, the little children of our Beloved Lord Sai, have picked up a few pearls that fell from our Lord's lips. We have made a Garland out of them. Now we pray for our Lord's gracious permission to place them around His Lotus Feet."

After that, one child after another came forward to recite the allotted piece and take his or her place in the semi circle in front of Bhagawan, which became a garland for Swami. The following "pearls" glittered in the garland:

"Lord, you have told us that by cultivating devotion, that is Love for God, from childhood, we can reach Him, who is the treasure of all Ananda. You have also told us that how much we think we are, and not more, are we and so help us to learn more and more and then become better and better."

"We also know that Sathya, Dharma, Santhi, Prema and Ahimsa are the chief noble qualities that we have to cultivate from our childhood and continue it throughout our lives. Because, Swami has said, Life is a search, explore it; Life is a challenge, meet it; Life is a game, play it; Life is a dream, realise it; and Life is Love, enjoy it."

"So, for this we have to start early, drive slowly and reach safely. But we have to remember, `less luggage more comfort', and we should always remember Love is God and God is Love and so we have to live in Love. If we do so, we will enjoy our lives."

"In order to enjoy life, we must put a ceiling or limit on our desires. We must put a limit on our expenditure of our money. We must not talk too much thus wasting our time and energy. We must not waste food, because food is God, and when time is wasted, it is equal to life being wasted."

"So, we have to remember that one of the best ways to spend time is, by doing good service to others, because doing seva to humanity is doing seva to divinity, that means serving God and helping God's creation is the same thing. When we please man, we please God."

"We have also to do our duty in life with discipline and devotion. For that, we must start the day with love, spend the day with love, fill the day with love, live the day with love and end the day with love and remember love lives by giving and forgiving and self lives by getting and forgetting."

"And when we talk, we must remember to talk soft, talk sweet and talk the truth. We must watch our words, watch our actions, watch our thoughts, watch our character and watch our heart and we must also avoid backbiting, falsehood and harsh words."

"Also we must remember that one must not only do the work one likes, but like the work one has to do. We cannot always oblige but can always speak obligingly. Swami has said, we are all caskets of divine love and so we must share it, spread it and express that love in thoughts of compassion, words of sympathy and acts of service."

"Not only that, we must practice Ahimsa and Brahmacharya. We must cultivate humility, fearlessness and develop a sense of sacrifice and renunciation. Also we should eradicate ego, lust, anger, breed, envy and jealousy and practice selflessness, generosity and tolerance and thus make ourselves better persons."

"For this, what we have to do is to "See Good, Be Good and Do Good, because that is the way to God." The past is beyond recovery. The future is uncertain. The given moment is now and here. So sanctify it with holy thoughts, words and deeds and thus make life a rose that speaks silently in the language of fragrance. Remove desire, attachment, and cultivate patience, fearlessness, control tossing of mind and temper; Love God, Trust God and Surrender to God."

"So, for making us better persons, we must take a dose of Japam and Dhyanam for breakfast; have Satchintanam, Sat sang and Satparana for lunch; do pooja and archana for Tea; consider an hour of bhajan as Dinner; and do Manana, as a cup of milk at bedtime. This diet is enough to make our being happy and healthy."

"And so we pray to our Lord to accept this little garland of pearls. We also pray to our Lord to help us to "Follow the master, Face the devil, Fight to the end, and Finish the game" and when we become big, to be considered by YOU as Your fit instruments to carry out YOUR Message to Your complete satisfaction. Lord! Bless us all for that."

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It was about 4.30 a.m. on 17th May 1972, when I got up to go to the cloak room, that I suddenly felt the whole building rudely shaking as in an earthquake. I had a little vomiting too and there was profuse sweating. Apprehending some trouble, the family Doctor was summoned and under his advice a Heart Specialist too was brought. On a detailed examination, including cardiogram reading, the Specialist declared that it was a case of "Complete Heart Block" and that the pulse rate being as low as 38, I should be immediately rushed by Ambulance to the Intensive Cardiac Care Unit of the K.E.M. Hospital, before I became unconscious or got an apoplectic stroke. Thanks to my resourceful relatives and helpful neighbours, in less than an hour I was admitted to the air conditioned I.C.C. Ward. Within minutes, the most competent, conscientious and ever ready medical staff there, passed a cardiac catheter through my right hand vein and connecting it to an Electric Pacemaker, raised my pulse to over 60 p.m. All other routine tests were also conducted from time to time systematically, and before long they assured my people that, as there were no complications and as I was responding gamely to the treatment, I should be O.K. within a few days. While I was lying flat on my bed, with my right hand tied to the Oscilloscope, I was neither allowed to talk nor be talked to. Luckily I was permitted to read.

It is most truly said that "Man remembers God when he is completely helpless.” I was no exception. I decided to spend my enforced bed rest by reading a couple of Books on Sri Sathya Sai Baba—"At His Lotus Feet" and "Sai Baba—Man of Miracles" by Howard Murphet presented to me by a doctor relation of mine more than two years ago, but which had been lying untouched all the while.

In the meantime, though over a fortnight had passed since my hospitalization, and despite the excellent and latest treatment meted out to me, the authorities, to their surprise and disappointment, observed that, the moment the Pacemaker was disconnected, to check up my real pulse rate, it would invariably fall below 40 and would never rise. After several consultations and meetings between themselves, they ultimately came to the inevitable conclusion that the only way open, to raise my pulse to a reasonably higher level permanently, was to perform an operation below my chest and implant a thin tiny instrument known as "Artificial Pacemaker”, available in the U.K. at a cost of Rs. 7,000. This, they said, was absolutely necessary if I had to move about and lead a fairly normal life. This instrument works with the help of two batteries and helps to raise the pulse to about 70 p.m. The guarantee for the batteries, however, is only two years and hence the patient has to undergo a further operation after every two years for replacement of the batteries at a cost of another Rs. 4,000 each time. Thus, the initial cost was Rs. 7,000 and a recurring cost of Rs. 4,000 every two years, apart from the pain and risk that go with each operation. This position was made known to all my family members including doctors, and they were all reconciled to the same. At last on 6th June they slowly told me all about it, as after all I was the person ultimately to pay the costs and also undergo the operations. This naturally gave me a shock of my life.

I was at my wits end. All that I could do was to surrender myself completely to Sri Sathya Sai Baba and to pray to Him to save me from the catastrophe. I had by then read innumerable incidents from those two Books as to how Baba had rushed to the rescue of His Bhaktas—not only in India but also abroad—in different ways and in different forms. With utmost faith in Him, I prayed continuously that night without a wink of sleep. It was by then about 2 30 a.m. and I was feeling more and more restless. I, therefore, requested the doctor on duty for some light sleeping dose that could put me to sleep and give me some rest. This was done, and in a few minutes I began feeling dozed. What happened from then is undoubtedly a Miracle so hard to describe vividly. I cannot say whether it was a dream, an illusion or a vision. It happened as follows:

I was lying flat on my bed, with my right hand tied to the Oscilloscope through the Catheter and the time was apparently 4 p.m. Visitors were slowly wending their way to the patients. And suddenly I saw a most distinguished visitor and who could it be? Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba! With a saffron silken robe flowing from shoulders to feet, with His soft dark luminous eyes shining with love, and with hands folded behind in His characteristic style, Sri Sai Baba slowly entered the door of the Ward. In a trice two sisters rushed to Him to know whom He wanted to visit. He spoke nothing, but with majestic steps, Baba came straight towards me. With His awe inspiring smile and standing so close to me, keeping His left hand a little above my head, Baba addressed me in a soft but assuring tone "My son, I know how much you are worried about the Artificial Pacemaker and the operations. Do not worry in the least. I have decided to give you back you r own pulse. No Pacemaker will be needed for you. Forget all about it. From now on, your pulse will gradually improve. Count the days from today and on the 11th day, which will be Saturday 17th June, you will be discharged from here straight to your home and from then on you will be perfectly O.K. Have faith in me and continue to do always the little good things you have been doing.”

In a moment I was fully awake, only to find that it was 4 a.m. and not 4 P.M. It was still dark all around and only the sisters were seen reading silently in the middle around a dim table lamp.

That very morning at about 6.30 a.m., a sister came to record my B. P., Pulse and Temperature as usual. When counting my pulse, however, I saw on her face some sudden surprise. I also noticed her repeating the counting over again. When asked what the matter was, she replied that my basic pulse rate, which had been all the while below 40 since about three weeks had suddenly risen to about 46 p.m. In a flash my thoughts silently went to Baba's blessIngs only a couple of horse ago. I even confirmed that the 11th day from then was Saturday and 17th June. What further proofs should there be to instill that unshaken confidence in Baba's blessings? The next day the pulse rose further to 50 and the third day it was 54.

By this time the authorities had another Conference and decided that gradually and by stages, over a period of a week, I should be made to sit down, then stand up and then slowly made to walk-first within the Ward and later outside in the Corridor, of course under the guidance and supervision of a Physio Therapist and also recording each time the B.P. and Pulse rate, both before and after each exercise, to ensure that there was no adverse reaction. After being satisfied with my steady progress, on the morning of 15th June, one of the senior doctors examined me very carefully, and after going through all the relevant papers, asked me how I was feeling. I replied that I felt very much better and humbly asked him when I could be discharged. The doctor assured me that I was progressing nicely, but that I should not be worried about my discharge. The moment they found me fit enough, he said, they would automatically send me away in order to make room for more urgent cases waiting in the queue. He also added, in a soft tone, that mostly I would be kept in that very ward for about a week more and then shifted to an adjoining ward for another week for observation and check up. This naturally upset me considerably, because I was pinning my faith on Baba's blessings that I would be discharged on 17th June; all the more so, because every other thing had proved too true.

The next day, 16th June at about 12 00 noon, the top-most doctor came to me on his usual rounds, after the conference and discussions. After examining me in all minute details, and also consulting the cardiograms taken from time to time, to my utmost pleasant shock, the Doctor declared that they had decided to discharge me the very next day Saturday, 17th June. He also added that the improvement was so rapid and so marked, that there was no need for my being kept in the other ward for check up and that I could go home straight. Permission was also granted for going to cloak room, self shaving and for even taking bath daily, if I so wished. He also advised that I could completely forget about the Artificial Pacemaker and even the fact that I was ill. He only insisted that I should observe certain diet, take medicines regularly and come to the O.P.D. for periodical check up. What amount of Ananda, Excitement and Ecstasy was experienced by me c ould better be imagined than expressed.

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Memorable Days with Bhagawan

A trip to Kodaikanal with Bhagawan is always a most unforgettable and blissful experience. Bhagawan gives freely of His time to the students, whom He takes with Him, addressing them as often as possible窯uite often three to four times a day, giving them new insights into the life of the Spirit, exhorting them to live up to the high ideals of Bharatiya "Samskruti", and inspiring them to high endeavour by relating stories from the Mahabharata, the Ramayana and the Bhagavatam. Nor were stories and parables from everyday life lacking. The matchless raconteur that Swami is, He endows every parable and incident He relates with dramatic appeal and poetic charm. It is no wonder the boys yearn for His discourses with an insatiable appetite. (From the June 1988 issue of Sanathana Sarathi)
   

During one of such Kodai trips, the Rajmata of Nawanagar, a veteran devotee of Swami for many decades, was one of the few select devotees who were privileged to attend Swami's discourses. She was present at all the evening discourses in "Sai Shruti迫Bhagawan's residence妖uring her ten day stay in Kodaikanal. Before leaving Kodaikanal, the Rajmata sent the following message to the students (which was read out to them in the evening):

"It is always so very hard to leave the (physical) presence of the Lord. Somehow, Sai Himself makes it possible; otherwise, no one would ever leave. With a deeply rooted confidence that He will continue to guide, guard and guarantee all our pilgrimages to His very own resplendent presence within our hearts, I leave these few words of love and thanks to the golden angels that are all Sai痴 Vidyarthis, the most blessed ones of the present generation.

In a way, it is not right to thank the Lord, but my heart is overflowing with humble gratitude, and I do not know what else to do. May Sai forgive such clumsiness and frailty.

All the angels will soon have to descend into the world to lead lives full of purpose, high purpose. I pray that all your lives will be as clean, straight and accurate as the flight path of each one of Lord Rama's arrows. Meanwhile, I must alert you to the fact that the world is full of winding, twisting and turning mazes.
The Power of Maya

When I was a child, growing up in my father's house, I used to wonder at the infinite variety of Maya. How was it ever going to be possible to know everything, or to choose what to know and to do from the thousands upon millions of things there are in the world to do, see, hear, know? The beauty of the world is undeniable for, when all is said and done, what is Maya? It is the shadow of God, so there is not the slightest possibility that it can be anything but beautiful. It is we, mankind, in our misguided efforts to find happiness, who make it anything less than perfect. Ugliness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. So, it is most certainly not to be despised, but it is also undeniable that the power of Maya, though it emanates from our own subjectivity, does delude, does veil the truth and cause needless confusion. What can we do about Maya? Our so beloved Bhagawan once told us a "chinna udharana" on this very dilemma.

One day, Rama, Sita and Lakshmana were walking in the forest. They walked in single file: Rama first, then Sita, then Lakshmana. Lakshmana could not get a good view (Darshan) of Rama with Sita in between them. In this small example, Sita represents the Maya veiling the truth that is Rama, and Lakshmana is the seeker, or the worshipper. There were two choices for Lakshmana: he could take a swipe at Sita and knock her out of the way, so that his view of Rama would be unhindered, or, he could humbly and lovingly beg Sita to move aside, just a little, so that he might now and then glimpse the Lord. In the former way, not only would Maya have turned upon the seeker and taught him a jolly good lesson, but the Almighty would also have been mightily displeased. No, we do not have the right to ill treat God's creation or His creatures.

Now, I simply do not know what the qualification M.B.A., means as a degree, but from mentions made in talks during these past days, I surmise that the subject matter includes business, possibly, management or marketing and could the 'A' stand for administration? These are among the most confusing activities in today's world, Maya within Maya, producing deeper Maya. You will have other people's needs, dreams, ideas to deal with. You may have to make decisions affecting many hundreds of people.
"Use only the Sai currency"

So, with MAYA'S infinite variety in mind, there is only one thing to do. In your dealings in the world, use only the Sai currency, and you will never go wrong. Do you know what the Sai coin looks like? On one side, there is the majestic profile of Sai, the King of Kings, with His aureole of divine authority; on the other, there is the Sarva Dharma symbol, with the words 'Sathyam vada Dharmam chara' inscribed all around it. As Bhagawan said on Sunday evening, if you hold fast to these two, all the rest will follow. Shanthi, Prema and Ahimsa can only exist where there already exist Sathya and Dharma. Indeed, the rules that bring success in God's shadow are the same that you have learned in His shade.

There may be trials and tribulations ahead, or only smooth sailing through the ocean of Samsara. Either way, it cannot matter to those whose spiritual muscles have been well stretched.

We look to you, angels of Sai, to usher in a kinder, gentler, more just world. And this you will do if you live as you have been taught by your Divine master, the universal father and cosmic mother, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

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The Communicator

During my 25 years of career in the communication profession, I have learnt that the entire communication process can be summed up as "who says what to whom under what conditions and with what effect?" While all the elements are important, the two key elements are `who says' and `to whom'. In other words, the communicator and the communicatee or the sender and the receiver of messages are the most vital elements in the communication process.

In recent years, the importance of communication towards furthering the cause of growth and development is being increasingly realised by all. According to experts, the citadel of development hinges primarily on the socio economic and political facets of the people and the countries and communication plays a significant role in accelerating the pace of growth and development. However, its importance in the field of moral and spiritual developments is still a far cry. This is evident from the lopsided development of the individuals and the societies. Be that as it may, even in fields of socio economic development, the means of communication is not very effective for various reasons.

One of the most important reasons has been the inability of the communicator to communicate well with the audience. This in turn, adversely affects credibility. The communicator also sends messages to the audiences without having proper knowledge and understanding of their needs, values and aspirations. Again, the mechanism of feedback is deplorably inadequate with the result that the communicator is invariably oblivious of the reactions of his audiences to the messages passed on to them. Such is the state of hundreds and thousands of communicators engaged in the profession throughout the world.

Let me try to describe with the help of my little knowledge, the effects and effectiveness of The Greatest Communicator Sri Sathya Sai, the world knows of.

After having come in direct contact with The Communicator in physical form only last December at Brindavan, Bangalore, I was hoping to be at the Holy place Puttaparthi on 7 March on the occasion of the Shivaratri festival. It so happened that on the 23rd February, one of my colleagues advised me to postpone my programme and stay in Singapore because I had recently taken over the new post. I was in a fix, I could not decide what to do. The same evening, I prayed to Sai Baba to advise and lead me to kindly light. And lo and behold! The same night my whole family and myself were with the Bhagawan in my dream. The following morning, I had the message—do not come at this time, come with your family. And this time, I am here with my wife. After a few days of this event, I learnt from a friend of mine who lives in Hyderabad that our Bhagawan would not be at Puttaparthi this year on the Shivaratri Day.

Now, can any science of communication explain this phenomenon of inter personal communication? Is it possible for any communicator to get the message so fast thousands of miles away without any mechanical and electronic devices and respond immediately to the prayers of a devotee? But there is only one Communicator who does this, not only with one person at a time, but with millions of persons at the same time.

The acid test for the success of communication is in its impact on the receivers or audiences. The effectiveness of communication is crucial to its continued efforts towards changing the behaviour complex of the people. Here again, I would, with due apology, describe my personal experience. When I was blessed by my Guru and God on the 21st December, 1977 at Brindavan, He told me not to worry too much, everything will be all right and His Blessings are always with me. Believe me, this single message has completely transformed my entire ethos and philosophy of life. I have read that thousands of devotees have undergone similar transformations in their lives after receiving the blessings from Bhagawan. Can there be a better example of perfect effectiveness of communication? Is it humanly possible to achieve so many results (by way of changing the behaviour of the people) in one act or many acts of communication? Certainly not.

We all know that there must be a message for the communicator to communicate with audiences. Quite a few persons have proclaimed rather vociferously that their lives are their messages. But have they stood the test of time? How often they have failed miserably in proving that their lives are their messages? Our Bhagawan also says "My Life is My Message.” Has there been any gap between what He says and what He does? The way He meets and treats people, the way He cares for them, the way He consoles and clears the doubts, the way He speaks and behaves, all make an indelible imprint on our head and heart and motivate us to act according to messages received.

His messages know no physical barriers and transcend all cultures, all religions, all faiths and all beliefs throughout the universe. Be it Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Parsi, Sikh, all without exception, take to the messages of the Bhagawan as if they emanate from their own Gurus or from The Communicator who is the God of all Gods and Goddesses. His message of the Seven principles of Sathya, Dharma, Santhi, Prema, Devotion, Duty and Discipline, is so effective that it touches the very heart of mankind. Then there are messages tailored specifically to the needs of the individual human beings. They touch the innermost feelings and emotions of the individuals which have snowballing effects on their behaviour. We know of only One Communicator Whose selection and treatment of messages are so incredibly perfect and effective.

Like message, language is another key element in the communication process. Communication scholars have come up with a number of factors leading to the compatibility of the languages, in the absence of which it is hard to achieve desired results in the thinking and doing of the recipients of messages. There is only One Living Communicator who communicates through the "Language of the Heart.” The myriads of people who have directly or indirectly come in contact with The Communicator would vouchsafe that the best language for total effectiveness in communication is and will be for all times to come, the Language of the Heart. People from all parts of the world have had the fortune of being blessed by the Communicator in private interviews. It is a sight to see their faces completely transformed, lit fully with satisfaction after the experience with the Divinity. How effective is the message when the Lord says to the people all over the world, "My place is in your heart; I want your love.” One has only to physically experience the total impact of this message which is communicated through the language of the heart.

Examples abound in to indicate the manner and speed with which He gets a feel of the needs and aspirations of the people and also feedback of His messages. This again knows no geographical boundaries. He can and does communicate and receive feedback from His devotees from all parts of the world at the same point in time. The Greatest Sender of messages is also the Greatest Receiver of messages. It bates all calculus of communication to find various elements of communication intimately immersed in The Communicator Himself. His Life is the Message, He is the Channel, Medium, Language and is also inseparable from His Audiences. This communication phenomenon cannot be explained either by the present or future science of communication.