Om Sai Baba.
Dear Kabir ji,
With Baba's grace, you will get answers to all the questions gradually. Since this forum discourages members from sharing email ids, the rules may not permit me to ask for your email address. However, I'll try to give you a method that works for me to forgive people:
Sit in a meditative posture, with eyes closed, preferably in front of Baba's picture. Recall the face of the person who harmed or hurt you. Repeat mentally, "I forgive you". Or else, just say "I forgive you, ----(add the person's name here)". Say it again and again. Say it till you cannot say it any more. Try to do this exercise for as many people as you have to. Sit everyday for a few minutes to do this. And, above all, do this for all that you need to forgive yourself for. Write all down in a journal. Go through the list one by one, and say repeatedly in your mind, "I forgive myself for.......". Say it again and again, till you feel the burden lifting off your heart and soul. Through the mental repetitions, we program our subconscious to forgive. If not repeated mentally, the words of forgiveness remain at a superficial level. And, deep down, the resentments and bitterness remain. Try this method, and let me know how you feel.
About surrender, it comes gradually. Baba takes us through many stages to make us surrender completely. There is really no short cut method to it. But to begin with, pray to Baba everyday to help you reach a stage of total surrender. In fact, all we need is His grace to help us relinquish our will and ownership to His Will and Mastery. I pray that Baba guides you on the path of surrender. And, I will be happy to be of any service while you walk the path.
Om Sai Baba.