Conversation with Baba....my true friend

[vidyarp]

Another round of appraisals....this is my second year here. Same situation....maybe a tad bit better....i got promoted...didnt get the shares....and i dont expect to get it either. I cant do all those things that are required for it and i am happy doing what i am. Am i lacking ambitions? Do i want an easy life? No...its not that. I want a balance in my life. My objective is to earn well enough to support my family....i want to take care of my father. I want to provide for my son's future and i want my husband and myself to live happily even after we stop working. Lekin...uske liye i will not give up my life right now...to earn that extra money.  I want to be home on time to take care of my son...on time for his studies..and if it means giving up on this...so be it.
I am at peace with the situation

[vidyarp]

baba...it was my son's bday yesterday. My baby is now 9. Time really flies. I am happy for him. Its a pleasur to see him grow and blossom. Nothing can buy that happiness. I only wish he becomes a happy and successful person. More than anything else - he should be a good human being. right now i feel the challenge is - he is too soft for a 9 year old boy. he cares a lot for others and always shares everything. I hope he doesnt get bullied and can stand up for himself. I think he does manage to take care.
God...what is happening to me....i cant seem to work at all...i come in everyday and while away my time. I dont feel like doing anything. I have zero motivation. As such the appraisals were a let down. And now with the changes in org, i dont see myself going anywhere. no growth. I can continue to live here and get a monthly paycheck...but i am not happy. i dont know baba...but i feel i cant cope with the politics. I am so not cut out for this. I feel overwhelmed. i am good at my work...but i cannot shout about it. And maybe thats what is required in today's world. Dont know baba. I feel i should do something that does not involve discussing with human beings. I am fine with animals and maybe abstract things like numbers. I love maths. Please help me to do what i have to do...

[vidyarp]

Baba..good morning. Its my birthday today. I feel blessed. Thank you. Its a milestone bday for me. last night i was going over all the milestone bdays in my life....and all the related events. Baba...i have spent the last decade in futile activities...i cant say completely futile because i did gain a lot of experience...I had my child...i switched many jobs...got to a company i aspired for...lost my mother...bought a house for my father...moved him here with me...helped him see the world....And really i am thankful for that. I have lost quite a few battles..but the war is not lost. I am not going to waste my next 5 years yearning for something and doing something else....please give me the strength wisdom and courage to do the right things

[vidyarp]

Baba...good morning...the day came and went...and i am still not sure of my answers...i am still not sure of what i want to do in life. I mean - if i look at it one way - i have a job at one of world's most prestigious companies, i earn decently, i can take care of my financial needs, i get time enough for my son, i have been able to take care of my dad, i have a house, i travel abroad, i get facilities at work, I have worked hard to be here, My parents have sacrificed a lot to get me here. And on the flip side - i dont like my job. When i was 30 or so, i always dreamt of being here...working here...but now that i am here...i dont like what i see. Too much of politics and little value to good work...i also feel left out and isolated because of the fact that i am a woman in a man's world...networking (though an essential skill at my role) doesnt come naturally to me. I am in constant conflict with who i am. I want to withdraw into a shell and not talk to anyone. I am not able to give my best to work and i feel mediocre. i hate mediocrity. i want to do a better job...but something ties me down...i am not able to give my best....i keep wanting to quit what i do and do something else...and i dont know what that something else should be. And all this makes me unhappy and leads me to inaction...and i feel even worse...
Why dont i know what i want to do? Why cant i accept things as is and move on? I want everything...money, good job, good brand, no pressure, little work, time for myself....well not happening i guess. We make choices in our life and we live the consequences of those choices. So i need to learn to choose what i want to do from the array of things i am doing right now. Its upto me to be happy. God please help me.

[vidyarp]

Baba...she is sooo annoying. please please please...if you can do just one thing for me...please remove her from our lives...she is like a thorn in the flesh...i have spent 14 years baba....14 long years...ab to mukti de do baba.....itna mat tarsaao baba...ki jab phal mile to uska mazaa hi na aaye....I dont know anything....i am done with being myself...i have to become something else...please help me....ma...please help

[ShAivI]

OM SAI RAM Vidyarp,

well, I too feel similar at times............

would like to share what I keep understanding time and again
- or the Divine helps me to understand - though often I forget

The world is full of politics- yes. But if we understand that people
who are doing it, may not know a better way to be. Or if they
know - they do not trust the way of truth, peace, trust and faith.

They think that in order to survive in this world - it is important to play
politics- in whatever small or large measure.

WE - being Sai bhakta - it is our responsibility to live the Trust
and Faith that we deeply cherish in our hearts. If we - in face of
opposition, still extend smile;in face of politics still not blame others,
in face of a mishap agree to carry blame ----- if we live in trust that
whatever is happening is a drama and not real truth - real truth being
the unconditional love that God has for all of us - then we can slowly
transform into beings of faith - people who will emerge as role models.

let us try to stop judging ourselves and others- as mediocre- this
judgemental nature is ego's gift. Can we be more rooted in our soul
consciousness and just be AT CONTENT with all we have and consider
everything as a blessings ..and smile right from the deep level of the soul

OM SAI RAM, SRI SAI RAM, JAI JAI SAI RAM !!!

Baba...good morning...the day came and went...and i am still not sure of my answers...i am still not sure of what i want to do in life. I mean - if i look at it one way - i have a job at one of world's most prestigious companies, i earn decently, i can take care of my financial needs, i get time enough for my son, i have been able to take care of my dad, i have a house, i travel abroad, i get facilities at work, I have worked hard to be here, My parents have sacrificed a lot to get me here. And on the flip side - i dont like my job. When i was 30 or so, i always dreamt of being here...working here...but now that i am here...i dont like what i see. Too much of politics and little value to good work...i also feel left out and isolated because of the fact that i am a woman in a man's world...networking (though an essential skill at my role) doesnt come naturally to me. I am in constant conflict with who i am. I want to withdraw into a shell and not talk to anyone. I am not able to give my best to work and i feel mediocre. i hate mediocrity. i want to do a better job...but something ties me down...i am not able to give my best....i keep wanting to quit what i do and do something else...and i dont know what that something else should be. And all this makes me unhappy and leads me to inaction...and i feel even worse...
Why dont i know what i want to do? Why cant i accept things as is and move on? I want everything...money, good job, good brand, no pressure, little work, time for myself....well not happening i guess. We make choices in our life and we live the consequences of those choices. So i need to learn to choose what i want to do from the array of things i am doing right now. Its upto me to be happy. God please help me.

[vidyarp]

Thank you Shaivi. Its always good to hear from others perspective. maybe i am blinded by my own thoughts.

I thank God for giving me good friends, who can pull me up when i am down. I need this kind of advice. Why do we limit ourselves, why do we create barriers for ourselves, and then keep lamenting about it? No one has told me to stop doing what i do. Then why do i feel like stopping? Its only because of my blinkered vision. I should not be a frog in the well. I need to keep doing my best and leave the rest to you. Just because a few people dont understand my contributions, does not mean i need to lower my standards. I have to give my best to feel my best. Only then will i be at peace.

[vidyarp]

baba...please...sirf ek aakhri kehna maan lo...please......i want her to stop giving me so much of pain and misery. She is unbearable. Her nature is soooo bad. All she wants is self praise and self importance. No care for anything or anyone else. She insults my father...who means more than anything in this world to me. I hate it when she ill treats me. I hate it when she treats me like a pile of unwanted clothes. She gossips all day, passes judgement on others, proclaims that she is your greatest bhakt and yet never helps a single soul. How can i live with her? I cant take it any more baba. I am upset when my father is upset. I cant bear this anymore. She should go away. Leave us all in peace. baba...please make her go away. If there is anything i can do to make this happen...i will...please baba...14 years...no more please!!

[vidyarp]

baba...please take care of my father and my family....my son and my husband...there is no one else....

[vidyarp]

Discipline is the bridge that closes the gap between goals and accomplishments. Baba...please help me to be disciplined...please let me be aware of myself and in control...

[vidyarp]

Baba...i want to crack the SSBB exam. I cannot live in peace till i have done it. It has taken me 7 whole years baba...not good at all. Can you please help me with it? Thanks

[vidyarp]

i learnt an important lesson today. Lying never helps. I swear to God..i am so done with it. Thats the truth.
But what irks me is that she actually had the audacity to come and check on me. ridiculous. I mean how mean can some one be?? I cant take care of my own dad? I am so done with all these allegations and frustrations she heaps on me. I am so done with watching tv. I am so done with being on the defensive. she calls me a liar. What right does she have when she herself is such a big liar? And baba...u do nothing?? Why?? why should my father suffer?? he is a good man. u know that. And she is the biggest gossip monger and a first class irritant. But then u let her go scot free. Baba...not fair. I have spent all these years trying to get her approval. I dont want a validation from others on how much i care for my family. Why oh why are we going through this?? I am so fed up!! No happiness anywhere... work or home.  Baba...if i love my parents and if i have done justice to my family...please for heaven's sake....take her away from us...Baba...u keep asking me to not discriminate...lekin what about all that she does?? Baba...please save me.

i feel so suffocated...so unloved...always the step child...always the outsider....baba...i am 40....how long can i take this? when will and will i ever live my life free of this binding? sometimes i feel like running away or killing myself...but thats not correct. Life is a gift...and i owe it to my parents. I cant let it go waste.

[vidyarp]

Baba...please take care of my father. he is recovering slowly...and is very weak. But i try to do all that i can for him. He is a good man and i want him to be happy forever. Please grant him peace and happiness. Baba...please...if i have done one single good deed in my life...please use it for him....he should be ok.

[shalabh]

SAI  RAM


FATHER  WAS  ALSO  SON ONCE
AND  ALSO  GRANDSON OF  BABA


BABA  KNOWS  THINGS  AND  PLAN BETTER  SO  LET BABA  WORK FOR  HIM  AS  IT IS QUESTION OF FINISHING TASK  AND KARMA IN THIS  BIRTH  OR  TAKE  FOR NEXT BIRTH,


PLEASE  APPLY  BABA  UDI  AND DRINK IT  WITH WATER  ,
belive  me  baba  is  here  and  he  is  taking  care  of  all of  us  .

[bhuvana j s]

om sai ram