Conversation with Baba....my true friend

[vidyarp]

Baba...today i am humbled and by my own son....i am sooo happy for that. It so happened that i had to drive him to the school bus stop and was getting rude and nasty at people who were driving the wrong way and in general ranting at the traffic. My son said- "Ma why are u getting angry? There is enough space for you to go, then why u have to be angry with them in the morning?" I cant say how much it pierced my heart. He was right. Why was i fuming? I had enough space to go without any problem...then why was i abusing? Thank you my dear child....for making me see things in a clear and simple manner. Another thing he said last night was that of late i am scolding him more than i talk to him. Its as if everytim we speak, i scold him or push him to do this or that. He actually made a song of it and started singing " Ma ko hamesha gussa ata hai...wo hamesha daant ti ha...kya hua mummy ko ...kyu pyaar nahi hai..." God! I was so stumped. In my effort to do things right, i have lost focus on doing the right things. I have forgotten to keep things simple. I need not yell and scream always...i can get things done even otherwise. And now he is growing...i have to respect his judgement and independence. I need to let him be. Thank you my child for opening my eyes. God bless u.

[vidyarp]

Baba...why is this happening? Why cant i give my father all the happiness he deserves? Why this thorn in our lives? She is making it increasingly difficult with each passing day. I hate every minute of it. Please do something baba...there is nothing to look forward to. I want tobreak free from this cycle. I know she will never chaange. And i know what u did last time when i had some bad thoughts. So all i can say is that baba please let there be justice. Past lifeand all who has seen and who remembers...what matters is this life. Our good and bad deeds need to be balanced here. Baba...ifi hve done even one good thing in my life, please give us all peace and relief from her. Thats all i ask for.

[vidyarp]

Baba...you answered all my questions and how! I am amazed. Thank you baba...for showing me hope. I will hold on .

[vidyarp]

Baba...u give us hope and u teach us humility...i bow to you and offer you my everything dear lord....please grant us a happy contented life.

[vidyarp]

Good morning dear baba...
Some people ca never stop bad mouthing. Its so sad...i feel like clenching my fist and socking her nicely...but i cannot do it...my values, my moral, my upbringing will not allow it. In fact it does not even allow me retort rudely to her. My parents have always told me to respect elders and not to be rude to people. But she has no sense baba!!! Sometimes i cant take it at all....11.5 years and counting baba.....kab tak?? And i am afraid for my father...i want him to be completely alright. Please take care of him dear lord...and let me be of use to him...i could not do anything for my mother....and i will have that regret for the rest of my life. But i dont want my father to suffer the same fate. Please baba...let his leg become alright..i want him to go see the world...

[vidyarp]

Baba..i noticed that to some people you give everything and then you take it all away in a single shot...like lance armstrong, oscar pistorious...and then there are others like me...who keep wanting things and u give us only what we need and when we need..never before time and never more than what is reqd....U work in mysterious ways baba.

Baba...yesterday i decided and told u that whatever may happen, i wil try to be civil and clear in my heart and speech. I am not going to stoop to a low level and shout back. And i will stick to the truth as far as possible. I will refrain from maliging people and speaking ill in general....Tall order ...i know....but i think with your blessings...its doable.
After all - ek din bik jayega maati ke mol..jag mein reh jayenge pyaare tere bol....

[vidyarp]

Baba...mein bhi bahut ajeeb hoo...i am so much tied to things....maya...and as a result, i am not happy where i am. Baba..u know the mail i wrote...i wrote and read and sent...then recalled..and today again i read...i know inmy heart that its the right thing...but i dont know what fear is holding me back....i am afraid to send it/share it. i am afraid because i have my bindings...i have my dear father.....oh baba....what do i do? Please....show me the way.

[vidyarp]

dear baba....u know what happened today. well...whatever! I hope she realizes that i am an ally..not an enemy. Pata nahi if she will see it that way.
I on my part - need to focus on getting things done. I have LOTS on my plate right now.

[vidyarp]

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an art, its a habit!!

What a wonderful quote. It tells me to persevear and not give up my pursuit for all the temptations that throng my way. If i repeatedly go after temptations by giving up on my dreams, then maybe thats what i am. But if i want something and i focus on it completely, without yielding to all the side tracks that come my way - i'll reach my goals.

[vidyarp]

All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.
AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES.

Go on - JUST DO IT

[vidyarp]

dear baba...dont know how things will shape up...r said something totally new....u know it. i had never thought of that possibility. But my question - will that setup help? will it ensure we dont have issues? will we be able to do it? So many questions......

[vidyarp]

Baba...change is the only constant in life. Just when u think life is stable, we get something new to rock the boat. Fine...this time around, i think we are a tad late...ths decision should have been taken some time back...but never mind...everything is for a reason...baba..if we move out (firstly - will we move out ever??) baba...i want a house of my own...i want a place where i can do things the way i want...i want peace...why cant she just move away....and we continue to stay...or if thats incorrect (maybe it is) then we should be able to get a house for us close enough. Pata nahi...evenif we move to a diff country...it will be an issue bcause i have a to think of too....
God...what a mess!!!

[vidyarp]

Baba...you have told me time and again over the past couple of days - to pray to lord siva. For me you are the lord..and you are lord siva. But yes, if u have asked me to do it specifically,then i cannot refuse. So i wll pray everyday to lord siva.

So baba - i pray with the sankalpa - u know what. and i pray to you o lord....

[vidyarp]

Good morning dear lord....sorry i started without talking to you...please accept my sincere apologies.....
Baba...we had a strange but nice weekend without her. I dont know if its a good thing or a bad thing....but soon we need a way out. This will not work. U please show us the way baba....

[vidyarp]

baba...honestly....i do not seek separation. All i want is respect and love...acceptance by her. I dont want to be treated like a beggar or a condemned piece of furniture. If she only would treat me properly. Baba...we women are our biggest enemies. She is a mother..and yet she is so cruel to me...cant she see that if she treats me properly, her son will also be happy. After all - we are family! But its 11.5 years now baba...and rather late in the day for any improvements. Please give us all sadbuddhi dear lord and make us do the right thing.