Conversation with Baba....my true friend

[vidyarp]

baba...i am kind of fed up with myself...i mean...how can i tolerate myself for doing this?? I cant take a decision???I want everything to be clear and precise before i embark on the journey....ha! That will never happen...i mean i know it all...yet i want to be my biggest enemy..my biggest obstacle!!
SO i am stopping this nonsense now. I am going on a holiday for 1 week. I will decide and make up my mind on what i want to do. Any decision is better than no decision. So i am not going to go round and round in cirlces anymore. I am so done with that!!
Help me dear lord..give me the strength, wisdom and courage to move ahead.

[anshul.udapure]

sai baba meri raksha kar.muze decision lene me madad karo sai. muze sahi rah dikhao. muze tumhari jarurat fir se pad gai he. apni astitav dikhao sai .. apna astitav dikhao..

[vidyarp]

Dear baba....i had a good trip. The vacation was very wonderful. I enjoyed this trip very much. I am happy for us. baba....as for my decisions are concerned...i know i am still to decide on what i need to be in life.....but one thing is for sure....u help those who help themselves....so...i am going to be my best friend....i will not be a roadblock for myself...

for now...i am thinking i should invest my time in SSBB....at least thats a start...what do u say baba?

[vidyarp]

Aage bhi....jaane na tu....peeche bhi....jaane na tu.....jo bhi hai....bas yehi ek pal hai.....

What a wonderful song baba...Its so true...the past is gone, future is yet to happen...so worrying about them is not going to help...what we have is now, the present..so we need to seize the day and make the best of it.

Good morning baba..

[vidyarp]

Baba...i love music soooo much...it heals me...makes me feel good....

[vidyarp]

Baba...i am starting (yet again)...and this time i want to seek your blessings before embarking on this journey....please help me and be with me baba..

[vidyarp]

Baba...please bless us all and help us to be your child always...

[vidyarp]

Good morning baba....my father is back from his trip. He looks happy and has enjoyed every bit of the vacation. Thank you so much baba....for fullfilling my dream. I want my father to be happy. And nothing else matters i guess. I know that i have lost some great opportunities in my life because of my own lack of belief and action. And i regret not taking them up when  could. But now i am not going to sit and brood over it. U have been so kind to me...have helped me in so many ways baba...and now its time for me to work on the path you have set for me....and if i cant do it now, i can nvere forgive myself....

So baba...give me the strength, wisdom and courage to face the world and do my thing.

[vidyarp]

Baba...i must keep myself positive. I will not let negativity cloud my mind...i will do what ever is required to get the job done and will not let my anger, sadness or frustration prevent me from achieving what i planned. I will not be an obstacle in my own life

[nitin_super]

Om Sai Ram
Jab girate hue maine tera naam liya hai..
Sai ne badhkar wohi mujhe thaam liya hai...

Baba,
kio der bhai is baar, Kripa karo he dino ke Nath..
Bhar de meri jholi khali, dar pe tere khada bhikhari..
Jai Sai Ram

[vidyarp]

Baba...i had made a promise to my mother before she died. You know it. And i must fight to keep that alive...i must keep that promise till the very end of my life....

[vidyarp]

Baba....its sad that so many lives are lost and so many families destroyed due to the recent floods. And its not nature's fury. No. Its our own doing. People are so callous in their attitude towards giving back to the society. They continue to cut down trees, build huge factories, kill animals, destroy the fragile eco systems....and then cry foul when floods and other things happen. This was bound to happen. What can poor mother nature do? why blame her? We ignore all signs, continue to believe we are fine so long as we are making big bucks....without caring two hoots for what happens to the world because of our actions. Is this the legacy we want to leave behind for our children? A world with no compassion, no care for the society, a heartless ruthless world where people are just concerned with making money at whatever cost. Quality is completely ignored. No one bothers about quality. And thats why life is so cheap in india. Do u think something like this could happen in US or Japan? We always compromise on quality and we will never learn from mistakes. I am so angry with all of this....

[vidyarp]

baba...looks like its my day of ranting....i am unhappy and angry because i am fighting my value system...i am fighting the values that i grew up with...i am trying to adjust accomodate something that i dont agree to in principle. All i life, i was told to be honest, truthful, stand for what is right, give quality to whatever i do, and excel in my chosen field...and now i am told to ignore things that are wrong...because i am not directly affected...i should not try to change the system because that is treated as rocking the boat or stirring a hornet's nest. I should keep mum and look the other way around when ever i see something going wrong....because thats what pleases the folks in senior positions. And to top it all...this was my dream job...i had always wanted to be here ....what a let down baba!! I get no professional statisfaction....And u know at personal front, i am dealing with a lot of things...sometime i wondered that maybe i am being lazy and lethargic and thats why i sont put in my best at work...but now i know...i dont do it because i dont see a benefit in doing it...i have to fight the system...and since i am not inclined to pick any battles at this time, i am lying low. Oh but what a misery! I dont even want my boss's job ...which means i dont aspire for growth here. Could it get any worse?? Baba...and the worst part is that i am not yet over the guilt trip that every working mother goes through...and this happened on top of it....i feel so angry....

What is the point when u ask your child to study well...get a good education...work hard...earn a great degree....and then u find yourself in a situation like this. Most unfortunate! All that effort, sweat and tears...is all that a waste? Baba..i have slogged....u know it...my parents gave their everything and more to see me successful. And with your blessings i am successful. But is that all that matters? Am i happy? I know everything comes at a price. And we chose our destiny by the choices we make. I dont know what i want to choose next? I am scared to explore...and terribly unhappy with my current choice...I look for advice...i look for any signs...but i know...the answer lies within me....just that i havent found what i am looking for. I feel scared of the change and i dont feel like giving up all this because of the investment of effort and sweat i and my parents have put. So disappointed....

[vidyarp]

Ok baba...i am sorry for my rants. I know that if i am in this situation, its because u have deemed it fit for me to undergo. So i should accept it as your will and then look at ways and means to turn this into an opportunity for me. Thats how i change my destiny and thats what u expect of me. I apologize for the anger i vented....if i feel so bad about being here...i should just quit. the fact that i am not doing it suggests that i dont have the fire in my belly to fight or flight. In all cases, i need to respect the system i am in at least till the time i am in. And i need to get the system to work for me. It means i need to stay within the system and ensure that i get the maximum out of it. Baba...i am not talking about personal gains or benefits here. I mean i need to work the system in such a way that it supports my value system and work ethics. I need to make it process and quality focussed and that should help not just me, but the entire org. And in the process i will also learn a lot of things. And this will keep me occupied. baba...i cannot keep changing jobs...where ever i go, i may face the same situation....i feel worse here because i came in with high expectations.....now i need to revise my expectations and treat this at a different level....

Thank you baba

[vidyarp]

baba...thank you for everything. Mujhe complain karne ki aadat ho gayi hai. I can find fault and crib at the best of opportunities. Stupid me!! 
And god also help those who help themselves....so i am going to help myself and not be a pest..