Can u love a Married PERSON?

[Dipika]

JAISAIRAM!......


ALLAH MALIK!


Sai baba let your holy lotus feet be our sole refuge.OMSAIRAM

[Admin]

You wrote all this? Awesome!

[rainy]

Hi Dipika,

Nice to read your thoughts...though i am not sure i understand everything...i will chip in my two cents just the same...

Whatever limited understanding i have of love, going thru' a phase myself which makes me question a lot these days on love and what is it like, etc etc, i think marriage does not have anything do with the eligibility of a person for love...you do not love a certificate, do you or are not in love with someone's wife? we are talking about an individual here whose energy seems to be working with yours and that's it...marriage is for the society and not for the hearts in love...for those who are in love, they are already married in their heart...

Having said that, i do not think that being married is a guarantee of being in love...with what i have seen or experienced around me, it is quite the contrary...love liberates, it does not chain...if you love someone, set him free...and period. No bondage, total freedom, free love, let it flow...

Hugs,

R

[rainy]

Hi di,

I don't think society has anything to do with love...leave them alone...

There are no moral obligations to anyone except to your own self...as long as you know in your heart that it is right, then do it...

R

[rainy]

You have to be clear in two things:

'you want your relationship to be respected'...by whom? by others? who are others? society? if you want others to approve your relationship, then you do not have the guts to love...point one.

You do not love thinking of a third person's approval though a sanction like marriage might be your goal in the end (i don't know)...

When you love, first set your heart free of fear...of approval or disapproval...then the path is free for you to walk on or not...when you walk without care, love gets wings, it soars higher...if you care for everyone else in the world (who, by the way, don't give two hoots to your existence), then love is chained...take your pick, dear..

May god be with you in whatever you do....

[dayalvasnani]

Sai Ram

Dipika ji and Rainy

thanx for throwing some light on the subject love by women to a married person.

Love has many  meanings

Love to Sai

love of parents and children

love of husband and wife

love between friends

love between brother and sister.

Here we see the word is one but has many roles to play between different relations.

If you have a good friend and you love him/her irrespective of married/unmarried there is no harm. And also Love has nothing to do with society it is a relation between two hearts and not among society.

Dipika would you also please through some light in case a married woman loves unmarried person or married person.

[dayalvasnani]

Dipikaji

From your writeups it seems that man is guilty of all these relations and he cheats women. Remember, it is viceversa depending upon one's emotions and how one feels happy with the relations. What is aim  of life, All happiness through out life and with one's happiness nobody has anything to do. And one who is happy has nothing to do with society. If society is jealous of you happiness let them be but why you looose your happy moments in that case.

[Kavitaparna]

om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai
om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai
om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai
om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai
om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai om sai

[Admin]

Well, I was closely following the post, this is a topic of my interest coz I always tries to understand the relationships.

So far the word we are extensively using here may have different meaning in different contexts. This word is “Love”. So before we start talking about a topic which involves this wonderful word, lets have a look at the word itself and the deep meaning hidden inside and one of the most ever “Misunderstood” word.

“Love” is something very close to another word “Compatibility” The simplest and the pure natural relationship between a man and a woman is “Love”. It’s a naked truth. A teenager can be in love, a matured can be in love and even an aged can also be in love with someone. It’s hard to understand the meaning. Just remember here I am not talking about a love relationship between a mom and her kid or between a bro ad sis. Here it’s all about a man and woman. Today most of the time, its compatibility. If someone finds a mate compatible to him/ her, they start liking each other and the “Love” starts. But Love doesn’t need a reason. So there should not a be flashy reason for a love relationship to start. Love is divine.  Teenager starts feeling good about his/ her classmate and they end up having a love relationship. Nah, that’s not love, that’s a stage of an immature mind. A teenager mind is like a white paper, he/ she starts sensing the world in a totally different way, he/ she starts understanding the world. It’s a beginning of a new life for him. It’s a stage of a transformation where an immature mind is growing up towards perfection. Even they carry the relationship for 3-4 years or sometime forever but that’s still not love. Even after breakup, they remember it as a “First Love”. But that’s still not love. Here in this situation, there was a reason, there was a immature mind which just can not make a difference between “Love” and “Attraction”.
 
And yes I did miss something, another very important and major factor. It’s time we spent with our love mate, often we see someone saying “I just can not live without him/ her.” So finally that’s Love. Right? Huh, It’s not love again. When we fall in so called “Love” with someone, we starts building a whole new world, it’s full of feelings and emotions. It’s a beautiful word. And we become badly habitual of that world. This world consist of you and your love mate. It becomes very hard to imagine anything beyond of that world. And when we see a breakup, alas…….the world collapses….and then an era of pain and sleepless nights starts…. That’s not love my friend….Time is a big medicine but the cure needs lots of patience 
 
Why we love someone, why? coz he looks good, he has a good personality, he talks like a superstar, he is just wonderful in everything, he is a smarty, he is very intelligent…..there could be thousands of reasons

Love doesn’t need a reason, it just needs a Person.

[saidasan]

A man wanting to fall in love despite being married to his wife must eliminate the patriarchal point of view – I do a favor by taking care of my wife and she’s dependent on me.
He will soon realize that Love is pure human emotion and is free for his wife as well!

Life is about creating experiences we choose and God does not interfere with that. So God didn’t manifest when there a hitler or idi amin or during Sep 11.

God doesn't condemn anything - extramarital affair or being a Gay or being anything. God knows you're using your gift FREE WILL to be the person you like.

God operates this world by the law of Cause and Effect – Karma. You reap what you sow A person wanting to experience love outside his relationship must let his partner free as well if she wants to experience love outside marriage. In the view of God All are equal – Man and woman unlike man-made societies which has different Law for Different sexes.

So ask yourself a question, I am married to this person, I need free love outside marriage so I am setting myself free and i don't interfere with my partner if she chooses free Love outside marriage. If you have the mind to live so, go ahead that neutralizes the law of karma by Equality. Your choices are accepted and nothing would boomerang.

Many Men want extra marital relationships but exercise full control over their spouse, secretly cling-on to their desires that Love is spontaneous and free. Yes Love is free to express as long as you follow the rules of equality otherwise you sooner or later (in this birth or next birth) Law of cause and effect will catch-up with you. Tables will turn, roles will be exchanged! It spares none

[nimmi_sai]

jai sai ram ....
it's not wrong to fall in love with someone who is married. you can have feelings for him, it's natural. you might be attracted to him somehow, it's also natural. it happens. but you must remember that he's married, You can't completely control your thoughts there's nothing wrong with admiring the positive attributes in a married person
Love, by itself, is never wrong. IF U ARE IN LOVE U CANT HELP IT ….It's not bad having communication with other people. As long you know and you have set your limitations Love him as much as you possibly can, you are in love with someone, in itself I do not believe is a sin. It only becomes a sin when you lust after them and of course if you act upon the love.. Unfortunately we don't all get to marry the ones we love. Also, love isn't something you can turn on and off.
But it is wrong to think that just because you love him, you have a right to be with him. .  ..if u really cant control ur emotions then  You should let go of your feelings for this man, and break contact with him, as you are only placing yourself and him in danger of too strong a temptation by seeing each other, even "as friends. I wish there was an answer that was easy. There is no easy answer. Someone always gets hurt.........
may god bless us all.....


nimmi

[saidasan]

It's interesting to read replies by women and all fall within expected lines.
Women - physically as well as emotionally are more tender  to love, they send and receive love very well.
The problem is - when a woman has so-called feelings of Love towards a man, should go ahead and ask him Will he let his wife look for love outside if she needs. If the choice is given then it is Divine because God is unconditional love and when a man becomes an instrument of unconditional Love he is treading on Godly path.
There's a very thin line between Love and Lust, they say Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was one who had love but no lust. sounds believable for his stature that he was able to move freely with women w/o any desire. But how many Gandhi's are there in this world? N O N E.
Intense Love certainly leads to Union - one finds himself/herself complete in his partner. It's just a matter of time.
What's the purview of the affected spouse? Does he/she have a choice?
In reality, this topic would make more sense when men who seek love outside relationships share their candid views on it. If they are ready to let their spouse do the same, they are genuine and love outside marriage is Love for Love . Otherwise, it is not. Period.

[dayalvasnani]

Om Sai Ram

Is it necessary to marry a person whom we love ?

[srisaii]

om sai sri sai jaya jaya sai

Dear Sai devotees, Sai Ram to you all.

This topic is very intersting and in a way should clarify the doubts of many especially in the light of Indian youth getting a lot under the influence of western culture. Infact, almost all the metros have already been influenced completely.

First of all  the definition of love is misunderstood thoroghly by everyone.

Love a married man ? Yes, I love my Dad - a married man / my brother who is also a married man / my father in law - who is also married / and ofcourse my husband who is married to me / my boss / my maternal and paternal uncles and this way many AND ABOVE ALL BABA - MY DEAREST BABA - THE ONE AND ONLY GOD. Baba is the husband (care taker) of this UNIVERSE.

At last what does this love mean?
Giving and Taking ?
Is it admiration ?
Lust ?  Desire ?
Think a while and it will be clear to all those young girls/boys / married men/women who have a TEMPTATION to have a relation with a married man/woman. Thats what is understood by the title of the topic.

First of all, it is not legally permitted to marry a married man/woman and one should know this leave alone whether he/she is a Baba devotee or NOT. WRT loving a married man, if the so called love is true, it will never lead to extra marital relation for, love is different from desire. The moment it turns into a desire between an uneligible "pair ", then it means the so called true love has stooped down to lust. And the Love is no more a valid term between them.

What is the use of parayan of SSC if we can not come out of this lust ?
No need to do parayan of SSC if we have nothing to follow from SSC.
Leave SSC aside, there is something called individual ethics. Forget them ?

Leaving the discussion abt what love is, which has least relevance to the present topic, i wish to add my views on this.

Generally the psychology of a man demands sex in the name of love.
Similarly the psychology of a woman demands security - wedding in the name of love. 
Both these subjects can not be given the valuable title "LOVE".

If husband permits wife to have relation as per her whims and is thus entitled to have relation with a female of his choice in the name of Love, the necessity of marriage and dharma would not have been found necessary in our Indian culture and our culture would have not found such a special place in the globe even from the days before independence.

Though not as true Sai Devotees, atleast as the children of this soil it is the duty of every citizen to preserve our Rich culture atleast in this repect.

Baba guide your devotees in the right path.

om sai sri sai jaya jaya sai

[deary]

In my experience, married men rarely leave their wives. They are usually scoundrels who are looking for some excitement in their life and ........ release. A married man may genuinely have some feelings for you, but he is most likely highly committed, or at least meshed in a relationship with his wife. If the two of you are dating and you find out he is married, stop everything. Stop immediately until you see actual divorce papers. Do not accept a man's promise to divorce. If he is having trouble with his wife, that is none of your business. Let him resolve that, and then decide whether or not he is a single man you can begin dating again. I guarantee you unending suffering if you do not set this boundary firmly.

Certainly, there are people who use an affair to get out of an unhappy marriage. If your married lover were one of them, he would already be moving out of the house and filing divorce papers. But this isn’t happening here. It’s extremely rare for an affair to result in a successful marriage.

Often, people having affairs aren’t trying to be overtly manipulative — they simply want both spouse and sweetheart. This goes for both men and women having affairs. As the saying goes, they want to have their cake and eat it, too.

So it is up to you to take action. Because he won't, unless forced. Actually, his waffling is making a strong statement, but you're not listening. He's saying that he prefers not to leave his family for you, and so he won’t be doing it.

Objectively, this kind of moral commitment to his family is admirable, even though from your vantage point it doesn’t look so terrific. Then again, his moral compass has gone awry if he is having an affair. (We will get to your moral compass in a moment.) What’s more, you have no idea whether he is being fully honest with you. For all you know, he doesn’t want to pay alimony or child support; he doesn’t want to start all over again with a new chik he doesn’t want to risk a perfectly fine marriage for an unknown; he doesn’t want his colleagues gossiping. There could be dozens of things he’s not letting on.

As for you: What are you doing having an affair with a married man? In the unlikely event you did end up together, you would always feel like a home-wrecker. He would always be guilty and resentful. These factors are enough to destroy a relationship that would be fine under less complex circumstances.

ask the important questions you would otherwise ask: Do you have plenty in common? Do you share future goals? Do you agree on whether to have children together? Do you really get along without the heightened drama of being the “other woman”?

It’s common for a person having an affair to string someone along with vague promises. Don’t expect anyone else to change the status quo. You must be the one to do so.


GOD GUIDE YOU ALL.