laugh

[pramanisa]

A woman's husband had been slipping in
and out of a coma for several months,
yet she stayed by his bedside every
single day. When he came to, he
motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know
what? You have been with me all through
the bad times. When I got fired, you
were there to support me. When my
business failed, you were there. When I
got shot, you were by my side. When we
lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you
were still by my side... You know
what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

[tana]

Om Sai Ram...

 

Jai Sai Ram...

[pramanisa]

A man holding a parrot came running and screaming into a veterinarian's office. The vet immediately brought him into an examining room.
The vet carefully examined the parrot, and then said to the man, "I'm sorry, but this bird is dead." The man began to cry, "No! No! That can't be true! I want another opinion."

The vet thought a second, then said, "okay," and left for the back office. He returned with a Black Labrador retriever. The Black Lab sniffed and sniffed the bird, finally letting out a low "woof" sound and looking up at the vet. The vet said to the man, "The dog thinks that the bird is dead too."

The man said, "I don't believe it! I want another opinion!" The vet then left with the Black Lab and came back with a cat. He placed the cat on the examination table. The cat walked over to the bird and sniffed and nudged it again and again. Finally, the cat shrugged its shoulders and walked away from the bird. The vet said, "The cat thinks it's dead too." The man sighed and said, "I guess you're right. How much do I owe you?"

The vet said, "That will be $600.00."

The horrified man said, "Six hundred bucks! Just to tell me my bird is dead? That's ridiculous! That's outrageous!"

The vet then said, "Well, I was going to charge you $50.00, but then I had to include the Lab fees and CAT scan."

[pramanisa]

A Punjabi and a Bengali were arguing about the number of martyrs their states had produced. They agreed on pulling one hair out of the beard of the other, if they could come with a historic figure who gave his/her life for the country.

Punjabi started with 'Lala Lajpat Rai', and pulled one hair out of the Bengali Babu's beard.

The Babu moshai said 'Subhash Chandra Bose', and pulled one hair from Punjabi's beard.

The names kept coming.

'Bhagat Singh'

'B.C. Chatterjee'

'Sukhdev'

'Chandra Shekhar Azad'

Punjabi was starting to fall short of names. He came up with 'Jhallianwala Bagh!!!' and pulled the Babu's beard away.

[pramanisa]

4 men - a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.

The next morning, first up was the Marathi. "Here's your question," said the President, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" Without hesitation, he replied "A thought, because it takes no time at all." "Very good answer," said the President.

Next up was the Gujrati, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president. "A blink," replied the Gujju almost instantaneously, "cos you don't think about a blink. It's a reflex." "Good answer," replied the president.

Next was the Bengali, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president. The Bengali thought for a moment, "Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20 miles away a light will go on immediately." "That's a great answer," replied the president.

Finally, it was our Santa's turn. "What`s the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president. Scratching his head Santa replied: "Diarrhoea, because last night after dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I could think, blink or turn on the light....."

[pramanisa]

Look at this following website (might need broadband as it is flash content)...
http://www.lifeinitaly.com/flash/
In a humorous way, it depicts the chaos of life in Italy. Italy afterall is not that different from India!

[pramanisa]

Hi everybody,
Enjoy this joke.......

Before Marriage - - -

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.


She: Do you want me to leave?


He: NO! Don't even think about it.


She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?


He: Every chance I get!

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

She: Darling!

After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top.

[pramanisa]

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a
tiger that
looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his
pack and
pulled out a pair of Nike.
His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are
going to
make you run faster than that tiger?"
I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied.
"I just
have to run faster than you".

[pramanisa]

Wedding Query....... . (SQL Server Stored Procedure Style)

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@ BrideGroom Char(NotBad) ,
@ Bride Char(Good)
AS
BEGIN

SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE
FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND
CarCount > 2 AND
HouseStatus ='TwoStoreyed' AND
BrideEduStatus='PG orAbove' AND
HavingBrothers='NO' AND
HavingSisters ='No' AND
AllowRelocate ='YES'

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyB al = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW')

END
GO

.

.

.

Then the wife writes the below query:

DROP HUSBAND

[pramanisa]

 
Hi,
This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last
month in chennai.
Her name was Priya. She was hit by a lorry. She is working in a call
centre. She has a boy friend named
Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone.
You can
never see her without her handphone.
In fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them
can be on the same network, and save
on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knows
about their relationship. Shankar is very close with
Priya's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away she
always told her friends "If I pass away please burn
me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cant carry her body, I was there. A lot of
them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried
to carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they
called a person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak with
the soul of dead person , who is a
friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself
slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her
phone. He
then opened the grave box and place her phone and SIM card inside the
casket. after that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.
Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away. After
2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.
Shankar :...."Atte, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.
Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home
today, i wanna surprise her." Her mother replied....."You come home
first, I wanna tell you something very important." after he came, they
told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said
"dont try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her
Please stop this nonsense". then they show him the original death
certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)
He said... "Its not true. we spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from
Priya, see this..." he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them
told him to answer.he talked using the loudspeaker mode. all of them
heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of
Priya & there is no way others could use her SIM card since it is nailed
inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same
person's (who can speak with
the soul of deal perosns) help again.
He brought his master to solve this matter. He & his master
worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which really shocked
them...






Hutch has the best coverage. Wherever you go, HUTCH networkfollows!!!
 
HaHaHaHaHahahahahahaa...
 
Joke of The Day... 

[pramanisa]

Who is clever???...

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn’t Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name.........................( 2 MARKS ) Q.2. Which tyre burst ?...............( 98 MARKS )
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!!!
True story from IIT Bombay...Batch 1992-96

[pramanisa]

A 16-year-old boy comes home with a brand-new Porsche one day. As you might expect, his parents freak out a little  bit.
 
"Where on Earth did you get that car?" demands his mother.
 
"I bought it today," the boy calmly replies
 
"With what money?" his parents exclaim. "We know what a Porsche costs."
 
"With my allowance money," answers the boy. "It was just 15 bucks. And look, here's the title to it!"
 
This gets the parents even more worked up. "Fifteen bucks??? Who the heck sells a brand-new Porsche for fifteen bucks?" they ask.
 
"It was the lady that just moved in up the street," says the boy. "I don't know her name. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
 
"Well, there must have been some kind of mistake," says the mother.
Turning to her husband, she says, "John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
 
So the boy's father walks up the street, where he finds an attractive middle-aged woman in the front yard planting petunias. He introduces himself and says he's looking for a woman who just sold a Porsche to his son.
 
"Oh, yes," she responds. "That was me. I hope he's enjoying it!"
 
"Er... yes, very much," replies the father. "But to tell you the truth, we can't understand what just happened. Why in the world did you sell it for such a low price?"
 
"Well," she says, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend that he ran off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't plan to come back. He said he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."

[pramanisa]

Despite the Old saying "Don't Take Your Troubless & Worries To Bed" Most of the People still sleep with their wives!!!

[pramanisa]

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ?till I get there

[pramanisa]

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for
the answer.

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness,
an elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked; "Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to
me.
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of
the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women.
One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice
said:
"If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the
electric chair."