laugh

[pramanisa]

Men and women on earth die and go to heaven. God comes and says

"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who dominated their
women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I
want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line
for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line
of men who dominated their women there is only one man.

God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you
in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my
sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"

"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

[pramanisa]

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.


2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.


4. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC


5. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a
forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


6. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in
your life.


7. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

[pramanisa]

A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HellOOOooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

[pramanisa]

Essay on Gareeb(Poor) family
Once in a kindergarten, a teacher asked all students to write an essay on the
topic "A Poor Family". One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay.
The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay
goes on as.......

She wrote:
Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb they, do
bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!

Ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver, aur guard bhi bahut
gareeb they. Ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya
tha.

3 mercedeez car thi, unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi
theek nahi chalta tha, aur uppar se ghar mein 1 saal se paint nahi hua tha!!

Family ko holiday ke liye foregin country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they, Ghar
ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they!!!
All in all, bahut hi gareeb family thi!!

[pramanisa]

Teacher : why are majority of south Indians are dark in color?



Student: Because they watch Sun TV, Surya TV, Udaya TV without applying
sunscreen lotion........

[pramanisa]

What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

[pramanisa]

Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot ) Ud Raha tha full speed par ....

Uske Saamne full speed me ek Ferrari aa rahi thi ...

Dono ki takkar hui ...

Totaa Behosh ...

Raste me Ek Beggar tha

Usne Tote ko uthaya aur Ghar le gaya ...

Usko Marham lagaya ..

Aur Pinjare me rakh diya ...


Jab Tote ko hosh aaya ...



Usne apne aap ko Pinjare me dekha ...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

..

....



Bola ...














"AAILA ... JAIL .... woh Ferrari ka Driver mar gaya kya ??

[pramanisa]

Ramm ka letter sita ke liye punjabi me......

Pyari Sitta,
Main itthe raji khushi se han and hope ke tu v theek thaak hovengi,
Laxman tinnu bahut yaad karda ae.
Main is Bandar de hatth tainnu chitthi bhej reha haan,
Tu bilkul tension na layi main bahut jaldi tenu ravan kolochura lavanga.
Main AIRTEL da postpaid le litta ae, RAVAN nu main mobile te bhot GAALIYAAN
kadiya te SAALE ne katt ditta,
Chal koi ni main aana ta hai hi. Taan KUTUNGA saale KANJAR nu.
Main iss bandar naal ek AIRTEL da prepaid bhej riya haan, oddej 1500 SMS free
wali scheme ha, Tu roz mainu SMS kari.
Chinta na kari, jadd vi gal karan da ji kare, ek miss call mar daiyee. Main
ettho tere naal baat kar levenga.
Tu Mere bill di chinta na kari, Sugreev nu payment da jimma de ditta ae
Accha OK
See Uuuu.

With Luv
Dashrath da Vadda Puttar "RAM"

[pramanisa]

JUGDE NOT
 
I  was shocked,   confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's   door, Not by the beauty of it   all, by the lights or its   decor.
But it was the folks in   Heaven who made me sputter and   gasp-- the thieves, the liars,   the sinners, the alcoholics, the   trash.
There stood the kid from   seventh grade who swiped my lunch money   twice. Next to him was my old   neighbor who never said anything   nice.
Herb, who I always   thought was rotting away in   Hell, was sitting pretty on   cloud nine, looking incredibly   well.
I nudged Jesus, "What's   the deal? I would love to hear your   take. How'd all these sinners   get up here? God must've made a   mistake.
And why's everyone so   quiet, so somber? Give me a   clue."
"Hush, child," said He.   "They're all in shock. No one thought they'd see   you."


Judge   NOT

[pramanisa]

COMPUTER PROGRAMMING SONGS...

# Local variable
Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon,
pal do pal meri kahani hai
pal do pal meri hasti hai..

# Global variable
Main har ik pal ka shayar hoon
har ik pal meri kahani hai
har ik pal meri hasti hai

# Null pointers
Mera jeevan kora kagaz
kora hi reh ***.

# Dangling pointers
Maut bhi aati nahi
jaan bhi jati nahin.

# Goto
Ajeeb dastan hai yeh
Kahan shuru kahan khatam
Ye manzilen hain kaun si
Na woh samajh sake na hum

# Two Recursive functions calling each other
Mujhe kuchh kehna hein
mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hein
Pehle tum, pehle tum.

# The debugger
Jab koi baat bigad jaye
Jab koi mushkil pad jaye
Tum dena saath mera hamnawaz.



# From VC++ to VB
Yeh haseen vaadiyan
Yeh khula asmaan
Aa *** hum kahan.


# Untrackable bug
Aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se.


# Unexpected bug (esp during presentation to client)
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua.
_________________

[pramanisa]

One day a Florist goes to a Barber for a haircut.  After the cut, he
goes to pay the Barber and the Barber replies:  "I am sorry, I cannot
accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service." The Florist
is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber  goes
to open his shop, there is a Thank you card and a dozen roses waiting
at his door.

A Cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am
doing a Community Service." The Cop is happy and leaves the shop. The
next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank
you Card; and a dozen Donuts waiting at his door.

An Indian IT Programmer goes for a haircut and he too goes to pay the
Barber and the Barber replies: I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from
you ; "I am doing a Community Service." The Programmer is, of course,
very happy and leaves the shop. Well now, the next morning when the
Barber goes to open his Shop, guess what HE finds there?
He finds a dozen of ..................?


Keep scrolling down!!



















  ... A DOZEN DESI SOFTWARE ENGINEERS WAITING FOR A FREE HAIRCUT

[pramanisa]

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Finally he decided to write a letter to God requesting Rs.50.

When the Postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they decided To forward it to the head of the Finance, Govt.of India. The Head was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a Rs.20. The Head Finance thought this would appear to be a lot of money to alittle boy.

The little boy was delighted with the Rs. 20, and decided to write a
"Thank you" note to God, which read: "Dear God: Thank you very much
for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry, Parliament House, and those Donkeys deducted Rs. 30.00 in taxes

[adwaita]

om sai ram

[adwaita]

Musharaf, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are travelling in a train.

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly
there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the
tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.
Musharaf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent
slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking:
These Pakistani are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharaf must have tried
to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking:
Musharaf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got
slapped.

Musharaf is thinking:
Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya.
She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking:
if this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing
sound and slap Musharaf again.

!!! JAI HIND !!!

[adwaita]

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates.


Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference :
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet ----- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.