Can u love a Married PERSON?

[deary]

Generally speaking most people do not intend to cheat on their spouse after the wedding nor do they intentionally pursue an affair. So here is how an affair begins. One or the other partner is not getting his/her needs met for whatever reasons. That person encounters someone at work, or at a party, or in the neighborhood, who notices him/her and sees something that attracts. There is nothing like a flirtation to restore a sense of self-esteem. Initially, the married person resists but enjoys the attention. That person then goes home to his/her spouse and hints that he/she needs more attention. The spouse at home who assumes that because they are married, everything is great and there is always time for taking care of the spouse later, ignores the hint That, my friends, is the beginning of the affair. When one partner seeks emotional or physical or intellectual support from someone of the opposite sex outside of the marriage, the seeds have been sown.

The marriage is taken for granted. The almighty wedding ring is supposed to be able to bind people to their vows automatically. This is the false presumption that leads us to the incorrigible statistic that 80% of marriages are affected by infidelity. Marriage doesn’t work by itself. It takes two people who pay attention to each other’s needs. It takes two people who believe in each other and validate each other. It takes two people who want to love each other and who continually approve of each other which allows the vulnerability necessary to be honest about their personal needs.


What should be done about reversing this destructive trend? Marriage encounters? Premarital counseling? Relationship coaching? Pre-marital coaching would be best. Determine if the person you are marrying meets your standards and that you are not just settling because he/she is almost what you want and you might not find anyone better. Second best would be to stop an affair before it happens. This could be accomplished by paying attention to your relationship and not taking anything for granted. Decreasing the number of affairs would probably make a difference in the divorce rate. Preventative would seem to be preferable, but some people need to get hit by a board before they wake up and realize they are in jeopardy. Ideas are welcome. What do you think are the cause and effect of infidelity?

GOD BLESS U ALL.

[saidasan]

Cultural rules and laws have been passed on to us by Generations mostly with a strict obedience code.

Let us not forget that Our culture patronized Sati and we shaved the heads of young widows from Child marriage and kept them at house for doing menial jobs.
They were given specific clothes to wear and were considered inauspcious for every occasion.
We have epics depicting a Man god (Krishna) marrying 100 girls and female godesses being taught lessons of obedience by male gods (Shiva and Shakthi).

God will only laugh at us for our ignorance.

Physical and emotional repression was common till 60s which is as big a sin as murder. A victim of murder suffers pain for few minutes but a victim of society suffers pain until she dies.

When God sees a westerner remarrying in 1930s and 40s and Indian suppressed in the same time which culture will God be proud of?

I am not advocating free love or am saying our heritage should be dumped now. Preserve the obviously good ones. Who decides what is good or bad for Indian society? Supreme court or a group of neurotic clerics and religious heads?

It’s time we take responsibility for our life. It is well and good to stick to one partner for life but if you love someone tell the world. Give your spouse the choice to quit or find his/her ways.

[Dipika]

OMSAIRAM!

I think people do find true love.

 It's just that they don't want to work towards it.

They go into it thinking of a pre-nuptial agreement before getting married.

The point is, you want to get married because you believe that you will want to be with the person when you are 60.

 That's the theory and that's the reason why you should get married. And if that's not the reason, don't get married.
u have to know what u want from the realtionship.

Marriage is all about consistency,commitment,Trust,and also lots of fun..........  

Two people meeting is destiny but u have to decide how much u love that person.
 For that, you have to work on it.

So if u truly love someone,set the person free,if he/she is yours he will come back to u..........or else Forget..

life goes on...............But Marry only for love..........


ALLAH MALIK!

Sai baba let your holy lotus feet be our sole refuge.OMSAIRAM

[tana]

Om Sai Ram~~~


well , this is going on since 12th feb ....and the answers to this would be different by different people and is very very difficult to reach at a common conclusion.
'coz understanding of human relationships is such a vast subject that diferrent people can pick very few items as far their understanding goes.

therefore every thought should be respected because this is what a person thinks about the subject.

now, coming to the idea of "getting in love with a married person " and my personal view on this.

first of all emotions and love cannot be supressed , while it is a different matter that we are able to express it to the person or not.

" isshq ho jaaaye to kya kare koi....mar mar ke jiye yaa mare koi.."...(Dipika U know na...KAUN BOLTA HAI)  ....
it is highly improbable to justify such relations on a moral ground....whereas when it comes to the softer aspect of relationship , there should be enough space for this kind of a relationship for both men and women. .
having said this , i certainly donot propagate this idea of getting married.
while there could be situations in life when relationships get sore and the charm drastically reduces...then what is the option ....then you cretainly are on a look out for someone who can understand your feeligs , your ideas, your miseries etc. when you find such a person , you definately fall in love ..now whether this is love is beyond my comprehension of the subject....but you like to spend time and cry on this person's shoulders.
i believe to such an extent this relationship can workout without disturbing the life of both...
MORALLY MARRYING SUCH A PERSON WOULD BE TOTALLY WRONG.....

Jai Sai Ram~~~

[deary]

Married woman can live with her lover, says court


Can a married woman lawfully live with her lover against the will of her husband? The Rajasthan High Court says yes.

In a judgment on Wednesday, the court allowed a married woman, Manju, to live with her lover, Suresh. “It is improper to pass an order to hand over any unwilling married woman to her husband with whom she does not want to stay,” said justices GS Mishra and KC Sharma. The court also said that nobody should consider an adult woman as a consumer product. 

While dismissing a habeas corpus petition filed by Manju’s husband, the court came down hard on the misuse of habeas corpus petitions by people who want to thrust their will upon adult women without their consent. The court said the husband was free to approach the family court for divorce.

Commenting on the judgment, senior Supreme Court advocate and noted women’s rights activist Indira Jaising said, “Though it sounds strange, I am in complete agreement with the high court.”

"At the end of the day an adult woman has a right to decide whom she wants to live with. She can’t be forced to go with her husband against her will," Jaising said.

In this case, Jaising said, it is clear that the woman was prepared for divorce. She also felt that Manju’s husband had abused the habeas corpus petition because such petitions were generally filed when somebody is actually missing.

Asked whether it amounted to adultery, Jaising clarified that the woman could not be prosecuted for this offence under the law. As for the other man, she said, “it seems he is ready to face that”. National Commission for Women Chairperson Girija Vyas said that although it seemed like an important judgment, she could not comment on it since she had not seen it yet.

Manoj Chaudhry, the counsel for Manju and Suresh, had earlier rejected as baseless the allegations that Manju had been kept in illegal confinement by Suresh.

He said that the duo had been living together by their free will and that the relationship had begun even before Manju had got married.

With inputs from Satya Prakash and Sutirtho Patranobis.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=9e0b7ae6-86f2-4cb8-812e-a71677b4d729

GOD BLESS ALL.

 

[deary]

One has to wear a dispassionate hat to think about a totally passionate issue........

If the relationship is such that people can't express themselves fully are worse than the one in which people express themselves and are aware about the differences. Differences are bound to occur and 100% ideal couples is only an utopia but to know, express and live with the differences is what is desirable.

But the crux of the matter is that when this does not occur, they try to find it outside the marriage. Nothing wrong with that till it is harmless - and what harmless is a moot point.


I do that finally many many marriages are just compromises only the people concerned may never know it/nor ever admit it. We need to breakthrough certain so called institutions - we need to Shrug Society and form a new one with new rules. Perhaps we are already doing that as the word "friend" is no more just a platonic friend, it could mean also in the west and definitely in Merto India, even partners.


GOD BLESS ALL.

[dayalvasnani]

Om Sai Ram

Good Post

Now seems things are clear

Love has always rivals

[rc]

It's a nice reading seeing from different sides.

Om Sai Sri Sai Jaya Jaya Shirdi Sai

[suketpr]

i think its depends either he married after love u r either never find love in her wife if want ur real answer kindly see the movie KRISHNA
thanks
may God bless all

[spiderman]

only if that person is my spouse....!

[spouse= husband or wife]

we should strive to see & realise baba and while doing so can have our own family, children etc., but these family matters should never become our goal.. in our life

jai sai ram