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Author Topic: Jokes and Sociomoral atmosphere  (Read 59933 times)

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Offline Vikram_Rana

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  • Dreams are Good, But Realities are batter.
Re: Jokes keeps us going
« Reply #15 on: May 10, 2008, 05:51:37 AM »
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  • HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK.........

    1. Open a new file in your PC .

    2. Name it " Boss "

    3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

    4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

    5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Bosspermanently?"

    6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

    7. Felt better? 

    HAVE A NICE DAY!!!


    Offline SaiServant

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #16 on: May 13, 2008, 03:48:32 AM »
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  •  
    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
    :)
     
     

    Offline tana

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #17 on: May 13, 2008, 05:10:46 AM »
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  • Om Sai Ram~~~

    Angreji Jatt di~~~  ;) :) ;) :)

    A punjabi jatt who dont know english goes to farmer market to buy a gobi da full. how he is buying a gobi da full, i tell u.

    Read it like a Punjabi Jatt.

    Jatt: Oye, What is the mull of the gobi da full.
    This bhendi, this kadu, this patha, ki bha laya
    oye satha.

    Shopkeeper: I don't understand what you saying.

    Jatt: Oye, ghanta o gaya, i bhakai karing, u don't
    understand. You are samajing manu lucha landa
    lafand. You cannot meray bangoo engraji boling,
    ais karkay sida oh kay tin kilo gobi toling.

    Shopkeepergot mad) You idiot, stupid.......

    Jatt: oye, YOu are now very very sirh charding, I am
    now teray nak te muki jarding, J one muki maring
    on your nak you are othay jay ke digging and
    tuting your lak.

    Shopkeepershout) call police,police.....

    Jatt: chup oye, I am punjabi, i kaday punjab police
    to na daring then eithay de police mera kay karing.

    Jai Sai Ram~~~
    "लोका समस्ता सुखिनो भवन्तुः
    ॐ शन्तिः शन्तिः शन्तिः"

    " Loka Samasta Sukino Bhavantu
    Aum ShantiH ShantiH ShantiH"~~~

    May all the worlds be happy. May all the beings be happy.
    May none suffer from grief or sorrow. May peace be to all~~~

    Offline tana

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #18 on: May 17, 2008, 06:05:25 AM »
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  • Om Sai Ram~~~

    Different Methods To Kill The Lion~~~  :) :D :P

    Newton 's Method:

    Let, the lion catch you.

    For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.. Implies you caught lion.



    Einstein Method:

    Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

    Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.



    Software Engineer Method:

    Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.



    Indian Police Method:

    Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .



    Rajnikanth Method :

    Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.



    Jayalalitha Method:

    Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !




    Manirathnam Method (director):

    Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.

    Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.



    Karan Johar Method (director):

    Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

    Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd

    lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.You don't understand right... ok....

    read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!



    Yash Chopra method (director):

    Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.



    Govinda method:

    Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.



    Menaka Gandhi method:

    Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.



    George bush method:

    Link the lion with Osama bin laden and then shoot him!!!

    Ravi Shastri method:

    ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run Lion tired and surrenders.

    Jai Sai Ram~~~
    "लोका समस्ता सुखिनो भवन्तुः
    ॐ शन्तिः शन्तिः शन्तिः"

    " Loka Samasta Sukino Bhavantu
    Aum ShantiH ShantiH ShantiH"~~~

    May all the worlds be happy. May all the beings be happy.
    May none suffer from grief or sorrow. May peace be to all~~~

    Offline Ramesh Ramnani

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #19 on: May 18, 2008, 03:01:15 AM »
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  • Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean  they don't love you with all they have.

    Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

    Edna promptly jumped in to save him.  She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

    When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she  immediately  ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

    When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and
    saving the life of the  person you love. I have concluded that  your act displays sound mindedness.

    The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
         
    Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry...

    How soon can I go home?' 
         
    अपना साँई प्यारा साँई सबसे न्यारा अपना साँई - रमेश रमनानी

    Offline SaiServant

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #20 on: June 15, 2008, 10:58:24 AM »
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  • :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

    love,  :-*
     :)

    Offline MANAV_NEHA

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #21 on: July 22, 2008, 04:18:20 AM »
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  • INTRO. OF BASPA SUPREMO MAYAWATI

    NAME- MAYAWATI

    DATE OF BIRTH=28/12/58

    WEIGHT=180KG

    HEIGHT=4'6"

    COLOR=JET BLACK

    BEAUTIFUL=LIKE BUFFALO

    BIRTH PALACE=CHAMARGAON

    DREAM=SHAADI KARUNGI TOH SIRF IS TOPIC PADNE WALE SE....... :D 
    गुरूर्ब्रह्मा,गुरूर्विष्णुः,गुरूर्देवो महेश्वरः
    गुरूर्साक्षात् परब्रह्म् तस्मै श्री गुरवे नमः॥
    अखण्डमण्डलाकांरं व्याप्तं येन चराचरम्
    तत्विदं दर्शितं येन,तस्मै श्री गुरवे नमः॥


    सबका मालिक एक

    Offline adwaita

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #22 on: September 09, 2008, 01:20:50 PM »
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  • om sai ram

    Offline adwaita

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #23 on: August 10, 2010, 12:47:39 PM »
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  • A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.


    She says: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you"


    The boyfriend says: "Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"


    "Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

    Offline adwaita

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #24 on: August 12, 2010, 01:34:05 PM »
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  • hehe this is one my fav topics dipika ji

    one more

    A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that
    he is going to get married. He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women
    and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
    The mother agrees.
    The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
    down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma,
    guess which one I'm going to marry."
    She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
    " That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

    The Indian mother replies,

    ...
    ....
    ....
    ....
    .....
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    .
    ............
    ............ ..
    ...
    ....
    ....
    ....
    .....
    ..

    " I don't like her " ....!!!!!!!! !!

    Offline adwaita

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #25 on: August 13, 2010, 01:14:12 PM »
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  • A store that sells new husbands has just opened in Perth City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
    Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the floors.
    The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

    Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

    "That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

    "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor anyway, where the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
    There are no men on this floor.
    This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
    Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    Offline adwaita

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #26 on: August 13, 2010, 01:25:39 PM »
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  • After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
    The Pope says, "What can I do?"
    The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
    The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.
    After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
    And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words."

    So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales. The Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
    The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."

    So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
    The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news. The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."

    Offline vishwanath69

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #27 on: August 13, 2010, 01:34:16 PM »
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  • OM SAI RAM

    I can see how our devotion and faith taken in alighter spirit increase.
    Kudos to all of u adwaita ji, dipika ji, and the many other contributors to this post.

    I feel like I belong to a large family of wonderful people. Baba bless all of you.

    SABKA MALLIK EK
    Vishwanath

    Offline adwaita

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #28 on: August 13, 2010, 01:41:05 PM »
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  • A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"

    The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

    Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!"

    She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"

    The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."

    The man sighs and says, "It's started..."

    Offline drashta

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    Re: Jokes keeps us going
    « Reply #29 on: September 26, 2010, 09:15:58 AM »
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  • ;D..... bahut khoob likha, Deepika bahen.... ;D... abhi na jaanay CWG main kya kya hoga...Allah hee Malik aur Hafiz Hai desh ka... ;D

     


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