I am writing something that I was hoping not to have to write. My apologies in advance if any one is upset by my post but I am being honest about my experience. I am not trying to raise doubts or anything else but just sharing what happened to me. I had promised Baba that I would post my experience here but this is not how I wanted it to be: Baba came into my life in 2001 and since then, I believed in Baba for every little thing. I talked to him like he was right next to me. I prayed to him like I didn't believe in any other God but him. He helped me in several things and it increased my faith. But looking back, I have come to realize that he let me down in the big issues of life. I didn't stop praying to him despite that but I had been praying to him for one wish for the last 4-5 months. I read Sai Satcharita each day, it was not a saptaha but read a little each day, some times one or two chapters a day. I had promised I would do Saptaha and even dreamed of going to Shirdi to thank him if I got this one wish. Well, I did not get this wish fulfilled. It was a smaller wish compared to some things I asked him for in the past, yet he let us down. I always mentioned Baba's name for everything and told my son to take his Udi before every exam etc. My son even questioned why I only mention Baba always and not GAnesha or Rama etc. I told him Baba is my only God and he takes care of us and helps us like he is alive with us right now. Well, now that I feel so let down, I can't even mention Baba's name to my son. Every time I prayed to Baba or thought about this wish, I would get some sign that he would make it happen. He never let me down on that. However, in the end, the wish didn't come true despite my son's hardwork and good grades. By now, you might have guessed that this has to do with my son's college admissions. We were not dreaming or asking for unreachable goals like Ivy league, we wanted him to get admissions to a college of his first choice which is very reachable given his very good grades/scores etc. People with lesser grades got in but not my son. I have only one child, so it's not like I can dream for the next one. I don't even know what to make of all this. I don't understand why and neither does anyone else I guess. People that know my son are just as shocked that he didn't get into his first choice college. I have never felt so dejected or depressed. I am the person who easily can get out of sadness very quickly by focusing on the good but this one, may be because I want the best for my son, it's been very hard to get through. I truly believed so fervently that if Baba wanted my son to get this, he could've helped, especially since my son did have the qualifications. I didn't ask Baba to help without my son working hard or getting good grades. Even after the initial bad news, I kept hoping Baba could still make a miracle happen but yesterday, all hopes were dashed once again. That's all, I have nothing more to say. I have stopped praying to Baba since 3 weeks and am very sad. I know it sounds childish or immature but if only you knew how much I trusted Baba and his positive signals he gave me every day about this issue, you would understand the pain and disappointment. I wish every one here the very best and may all their dreams come true.
Topic: Experiences of Devotees (Read 196935 times)