Jai Sai Ram
welcome, dearest Soumya, to our blessed online SAI family. I understand your feelings and worries and doubts. We all have them - they are part of human nature. And this is also exactly how we should see and understand them - as a play of the mind!
Love SAI heart and soul - as you do already. Try to do anything and everything you do out of that spirit of love for HIM and leave the results completely to HIM. This means to become a mango fruit.
There are people who will be touched by SAI, get to know of HIM, read about HIM, meet people who are HIS devotees - and not respond; those who encounter spirituality time and again in their lives, look at it for a while and then come to the conclusion that this is not "their kind of a thing" - these are the flowers shed. Still, nothing is in vain. We develop slowly and over vast expanses of time if you like. A flower shed now may be a fruit next time or time after next time ....
And one more thing: If you ponder over the question whether or not you are a fruit and SAI leads you here, I think and feel you can joyfully accept this as HIS answer that HE counts you among HIS very beautiful, most tasteful Mango Fruits.
May you always feel showered with HIS blessings
OM SAI RAM
Astrid
Restless was my heart till it found rest in THEE