Stress...stress and more stress....thats my life. sure, i should look at people who are less fortunate than me and feel grateful for everything i have. but u know what - its not fair. I have never got anything worthwhile in the first shot and u know that. everything has been a struggle. I cant imagine why i should be subjected to it. I see crooks and thieves getting all the good things in life. But honest and straight forward people like me and my dad, son are always tested. What logic is there??
U know i had never believed in astrology. Even when my mother was sick and on her death bed, i put all my faith in you. This time around, its for my son. I want him to have a good life. He is a good boy and u know it. The problem is that he seems to have the same fate as me....never getting anything easy or the first time. Always struggling. I want to leave everything on you now - as far as he is concerned.
And for me - i have given up. I no longer want to pursue the direction i wanted to take...after all these years...for the first time i took a step and u led me to it...and then crushed me, pulled the rug under my feet...left me high and dry....and u know there is nothing i can do about it. After all, where can i go?? My fate and my life is destined to be here...always a second class citizen, always the outsider, always the victim....no peace for me. Thats what u have designed for me. I wonder why u led me to believe that i can get respite after all these years??